


Malady

by ZiggyPasta



Category: Compilation of Final Fantasy VII, Crisis Core: Final Fantasy VII, Final Fantasy VII
Genre: Action/Adventure, Angst, Character Death, Explicit Language, Fluff, Forced Prescription Drug Abuse, Frottage, Hurt/Comfort, Lemons, M/M, Mild Humor, Molestation, Oral, Original Characters - Freeform, Rape, Romance, Sappy, Suicide Themes, Suicide thoughts, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2009-08-20
Updated: 2012-07-23
Packaged: 2017-10-12 09:16:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 19
Words: 96,248
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/123310
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ZiggyPasta/pseuds/ZiggyPasta
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>As tragedy plagues a young Cloud, he turns to Zack for a source of comfort and strength. As their relationship turns intimate, Cloud slowly develops a strange illness that may leave him broken and amnesic to the life he once shared with Zack.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Enigma

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first ZackxCloud fic, and my first fic that contains lemons. I will warn you of several things before you read, just to clarify this story beforehand. For one, it contains male on male sex, so if you don't like it, run away. Second, I'm going to be taking you on a roller coaster of fluff and angst, so if you like total complete 100% fluff I don't suggest reading this. It will be depressing, tragic and angsty, but will have some romantic fluff mixed in as well. Also, this contains several OC side characters, but everyone tells me they're very wonderful and enjoyable. Far away from Gary-Stus, I assure you. The first four chapters are unbeta-ed so it may read a bit rough in some areas at first, and chapters 5-19 have been beta'd by Nekotsuki. Anything after that is done by me and me alone. Ah yes, and there is attempted rape, foul language, suicide themes, violence and forced prescription drug abuse, but nothing too bad *snerk*. I think I've covered every sin possible in this story. So yeah, I warned ya.
> 
> All related Final Fantasy names and characters are copyrighted © by the almighty Square Enix. This story and the OCs all me, however. Enjoy.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

# Chapter One: Enigma

  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~

An unbelievable sensation.

He was sweating; his chest heaving. He threw his head back, letting out a loud groan. "Y-yeah!" His eyes squeezed shut, and the muscles in his body were taut. "R-right there."

The young blond looked up with apprehension, his face moistened with what the man could only have guessed was a flushed sense of nervousness. "L-like this, Zack?" His voice came out meek, barely there.

"No, you're holdin' it wrong." Zack reached down with shaking arms and corrected the young blond's hands, readjusting them to ease up on the pressure he emitted unintentionally. "There. That's a good angle. Keep going, Cloud."

Cloud obeyed silently, glancing up to the older man every now and then to study the reaction on his face; to read into the expressions he made, as Cloud's hands worked on him diligently.

"Good kid." Zack let a relaxed sigh escape his lungs as he closed his eyes, the feeling of Cloud's warm body between his thighs soothing.

Cloud stopped, his voice coming out in a slight panic. "There's...a lot of it!"

Zack let out a lucid laugh, the sweat that was trickling down his face caused him to shiver. The air around them thick and hot; it was unbearable. "Well, that's what happens when you're too rough."

"I-I'm sorry, Zack! I can't do this anymore!" Cloud began to pull back, his eyes wide with panic and disgust.

But he was stopped by Zack's hand grasping onto his arm firmly, his voice low, almost a whisper. "You're all I have, Cloud."

Cloud swallowed hard, staring at the older man with a face that was frightened, a face that wanted to just run from fear and trepidation. "B-but...I don't know what I'm doing."

Zack spoke in a reassuring tone, trying his hardest not to come off sounding desperate or pleading. He didn't want to scare the boy away. "You're doin' great. It'll come naturally to you."

"O-okay..." Cloud reluctantly slid back down onto his knees between the man's legs, and continued to wrap Zack's bleeding thigh in a bandage.

"You look so pale, is this your first time seeing this much blood?" Zack's voice rolled out of his throat, followed by an amused laugh as the young boy nodded his head silently, a grimace adorning his white face. "I'm sorry to put you through this, Cloud. But there's no one else to help right now."

Cloud continued to nod numbly, his hands shaking at the sight of the deep wound in the SOLDIER's thigh. He said nothing.

Zack continued to reassure the young one through gritted teeth, the pain coursing up his torso from his thigh in such an annoying throb. It felt much like a migraine, but in his leg. _A 'thighgraine'?_ Zack mused to himself, trying to focus on something asinine in his mind to distract him from the pain. He failed at this, however.

Cloud suddenly leaned forward, his head going down to Zack's crotch area, his mouth grazing up against his bare thigh as he took the bandage between his teeth and ripped off the remainder of the roll, finally finishing dressing the wound.

Zack flinched involuntarily. The feeling of Cloud's warm breath against his skin, and the feeling of his soft hair brushing up against him made it hard not to grasp Cloud's head and hold it there between his legs. But Zack, once again, didn't want to scare the boy off. He forced probing thoughts down into his mind and managed a weak smile at Cloud as he pulled back. "See? That wasn't so bad, was it?"

Cloud slipped back onto his bottom, his eyebrows arching in a rather pitiful look. His eyes flickered down to Zack's blood on his own hands, as his shoulders wilted with distress. "I...I'm sorry," he murmured. "This happened because of me."

Zack let a small groan escape from him as he bucked his hips, tugging his issued SOLDIER trousers back up to his waist. He lowered himself slowly, buttoning the top with care. "C'mon now, Cloud. Don't beat yourself up over it. This is nothing that a SOLDIER 1st Class can't handle!"

This seemed to have upset the boy more. " _I_ should have been able to handle it!"

Zack leaned forward frowning and placed a gloved hand on the boy's shoulder reassuringly. "Hey, how were you supposed to know that the monster knew how to cast Blizzaga? That's a high level spell, even for some SOLDIER!" He playfully punched Cloud in the chin, trying to get him to snap out of the impending self loathing he always seemed to hurl himself into whenever something went wrong.

How this pained Zack to watch his young friend become more and more dejected with himself, as their friendship formed throughout the past few months. With each mission that Zack had been assigned to with the young Cloud, he slowly began to notice the boy having a meek will when he was faced with something that resembled a challenge.

Cloud's mind seemed to shut down at any given time, whittling what little confidence he actually had for himself down to practically nothing. Zack longed to grab the boy by his shoulders and shake him violently whenever he said something negative about himself, but that wouldn't have done much to remedy Cloud's self doubts. And at first it was a bit of a hindrance to Zack, as much as he now hated to admit, but as time went by, and as Zack began to nurture the boy, taking him under his wing as a mentor, he soon found that this little quirk of Cloud's to be rather endearing. It was what made Cloud  Cloud.

But Zack was never one to turn his back on a friend or loved one, that certain quality in the SOLDIER made it next to impossible not to feel for the seemingly fragile Shin-Ra cadet, and he soon took it upon himself to make sure that this boy was taken care of. There was something so intoxicating about the blond boy that Zack could never quite figure out what it was. So it started out as a simple request from the SOLDIER to Cloud's fellow Shin-Ra unit to watch over him during missions. But after Cloud had returned injured from a mission to the Materia Cave on the Western continent, that request from Zack soon turned into a personal mission he delegated out to himself to decipher the enigma that was Cloud.

And Zack found this enigma to be staring back at him with soft eyes and a concerned look. He hadn't realized that he fell silent for several excruciating moments, much to the blond's dismay.

"Zack?" he said, his voice coming out shyly.

"Wanna help me up, buddy?"

Cloud nodded vigorously, jumping to his feet faster than Zack had ever seen him move. He must have thought that he had to do something useful, since he obviously felt guilty over Zack's injury. Zack took an odd note of the now dissolving shard of ice that had been used to impale his thigh as it was trying to leave no trace of existing by soaking up into the ground below. He frowned at it thoughtfully.

Smaller hands reached down and grasped Zack's forearms as Cloud helped hoist the injured man up onto his feet.

And then Zack had to be the one to help Cloud back onto his feet as he suddenly fell forward, his pale blue eyes fluttering closed.

"W-whoa!" Zack caught the young boy as he fell against Zack's chest weakly. Zack winced slightly as Cloud's knee nudged his injured leg, but he managed to keep steady, wrapping his arms around the smaller boy's frame. "Hey!"

Cloud murmured something incoherently, his face utterly pale.

"It was just a little bit of blood, Cloud! C'mon now." Zack watched as Cloud's hand slowly slid up his chest, gripping onto the brown leather strap beneath his armored shoulder to keep himself up. Zack reached down and tapped the blond's cheek lightly, trying to rouse him from the brink of unconsciousness. "Get a grip, buddy!"

"I-I'm...sorry." Cloud finally opened his eyes slowly, but he didn't look up at Zack, as he was embarrassed over his weakness. "I...don't like blood."

Zack laughed at Cloud as he held onto him until he could feel Cloud straighten out his legs and stand with his own weight. "No one likes blood, Cloud! No one but vampires and phlebotomists."

"Y-yeah..." Cloud lowered his hands from Zack's chest, his head cast down in the most sheepish expression Zack had ever seen him use to date.

"Can you walk?" Zack asked the boy, glancing around at their surroundings, which now flooded back into his senses. The pain had numbed out everything around him until that moment.

Cloud frowned terribly, his eyebrows meeting in the middle of his forehead. "That's not something you should be asking _me_."

Zack noticed that Cloud was staring at his leg. His blood was soaking through the layers of bandages and spreading slowly across the fabric. "What, this? I told you, nothing I can't handle. Let's get back to Midgar though, before they send a search party out for us." He reached up and slapped Cloud on his shoulder.

Cloud began to teeter on his feet and Zack retracted his hand quickly, his eyes wide in fear that he may have caused the boy to lose his balance in his woozy state. But Cloud corrected his wobbling and shook his head, trying to rattle his senses into working again. "I-I'm sorry Zack."

"Stop apologizing for something you shouldn't be apologizing for. I remember the first time I saw a lot of blood."

"Really?" Cloud looked up at the man, his face softening from its dejected appearance. "Did you faint?"

Zack's heart sank as the boy looked hopeful, like he was going to be able to connect with Zack on that level, as if Zack had a story similar to this one that would make him feel a little bit better about himself. But, unfortunately for the blond this was not one of those stories. All it was, was a simple, "No." Zack frowned as he boy's eyes fluttered to the ground, ashamed. "But, I did puke afterwards."

Cloud laughed, the color finally returning to his whitened skin.

"And you, my friend, have kept your lunch in your belly so I suppose you're a little bit better off than I was." Maybe it really was one of those stories, after all.

"Y-yeah."

"Well, Cloud, let's get outta here. I'm officially all out of potions, and the monsters will be lurking around again. I don't feel like dying up here on this cliff anytime soon, do you?"

"No. Definitely not," Cloud said, smiling faintly. He swung his assault rifle up onto his shoulder.

Zack gave Cloud one last pat on the shoulder before the two glanced over to the city of Midgar, which stood proudly before them on the close horizon.

~*~*~

  
Cold eyes surrounded by a sterile white dug into the SOLDIER's mind, attacking his nerves without uttering a single word. Arms were folded across a rigid chest, and a foot tapped impatiently against more sterile white.

"How could you let yourself get injured so easily?" A harsh, yet calm voice.

And a defensive, irritated response. "I just slipped up, okay?"

"It was a simple training mission," said the calm voice.

"Yeah, well, sometimes even SOLDIER makes mistakes," responded the defensive voice.

"Is Strife a hindrance to you?" said the calm voice.

"Stop squirming, I can't heal you properly Mr. Fair," said a new voice, and caused the two men to jump slightly. A rather pretty nurse in the Shin-Ra infirmary was kneeling down by Zack's left thigh, her hands glowing with the hues of Curaga. "And this would be a lot easier for me if you were to lie down, Mr. Fair."

The two men ignored her.

"Tseng, we had a deal. You get Cloud assigned to me, and I stop acting so reckless on missions." Zack flinched as the nurse bumped his thigh with her small hands, and she blurted out a frightened apology.

Tseng shook his head, scoffing. His cold eyes glanced down to the healing wound on the SOLDIER's leg. "Looks to me like you're not holding up your end of the bargain."

"Well it's not like I did it on purpose." He winced and withdrew his leg, looking down at the nurse with disdain. "Is this your first time?? 'Cuz you're really awkward."

She blushed a terrible shade of shame and stammered several words that weren't necessarily in a language that any human spoke. With now shaking hands, she resumed her magic.

"If he can't improve even under direct training from a SOLDIER 1st-Class, then I will personally see that he is shipped out for guard duty on the outskirts of the Northern Crater." Tseng was such a hard person to read, and Zack couldn't tell if this was an empty threat or not. But a threat was a threat, and Zack didn't appreciate such blatant arrogance and complete disregard for what he was spouting off.

"Look, he's getting better. He managed to cast Fira without so much as breaking a sweat today! He's the one who killed the monster in the end. It wasn't me."

Tseng lifted an eyebrow over his cold eyes. "Is that right?"

Zack scoffed, throwing his hands up in the air. "Yes! What do you want, a written statement!?"

"Actually, yes. I expect a report of the incident on my desk by evening." Tseng turned and walked out of the room as he heard Zack let out a childish whine.

Tseng walked briskly passed a meek figure clinging against the wall outside the door of the infirmary room. His eyes briefly met that of Cloud's, and he continued on.

Cloud quickly looked away as Tseng's gaze met his, and Cloud couldn't get the ashamed and guilty look from showing on his face.

 _I guess it's okay to go in there now._ Cloud thought to himself as he straightened his feeble frame up from its shrunken position. He could hear the nurse informing Zack of some precautionary instructions on how to keep the wound clean and what signs to look for if it began to get infected. All of which Zack was paying absolutely no attention to, Cloud knew.

Cloud's eyes watched as Tseng entered the elevator at the end of the hallway, and the door closed behind him with a ding of the bell. Cloud relaxed a bit; how that man made him nervous.

A feeling of excitement washed over him at that moment, as now he had some time to hang around Zack before he had to report back into the barracks for the evening. He had questions to grill the man with about SOLDIER, magic, swords, materia, and everything in between. Anything and everything his brain could conjure up for the short time they would have together began to swarm into his head, as his legs involuntarily began to move into the infirmary room.

And soon he found the questions being knocked out of his head as he, rather roughly, walked right into the hard chest of Zack who was exiting. Cloud let out a small cry of surprise as he began to fall backwards, the balance taken right from his body.

Zack moved swiftly, his hands going down and grasping Cloud's outstretched arm before he became parallel with the cold tile.  He chuckled, watching the shocked expression that formed across the blond's face as he hoisted him back up onto his feet before he even knew what happened.

Cloud blinked hopelessly, his eyes darting back and forth on the hand which still clung to his arm firmly, not wanting to let go until Zack was sure he could stand on his own feet.

"You okay?"

Blood began to tingle behind the skin in Cloud's cheeks, but he willed it away after a quiet, yet embarrassed laugh. "S-sorry," he said.

"There you go, apologizing again for something that you shouldn't be." Zack's hand slowly lowered, watching Cloud's face carefully. "You sure have a bad habit of doing that."

"S-sorry."

A gloved hand dragged down the man's face, helplessly. "Damn, Cloud."

Cloud squeezed his eyes shut, apologizing for apologizing too many times. "Sorry!"

"Just...shut up." Zack laughed and wrapped his arm around his shoulder, pulling him into his side in a brotherly fashion. "Hey! How 'bout some food!"

"But...shouldn't you be resting your leg?" Cloud said, but secretly was hoping for the opposite. He waited on edge for Zack's reply, hoping that he would say that it was nothing, and that he could spend all the time in the world with him.

"Nah, I want food, then dessert, then maybe seconds, and dessert seconds, and then sleep. In that exact order."

"Don't forget your report you need to write."

Zack's face fell flat. "Y-yeah. And the report." He reluctantly added that to the list of things he wanted to do before lights out. They began to walk towards the elevator, the sound of their footsteps echoing in the hallway. "Can we maybe slip that in after the seconds?"

"Wait. Between the seconds or the dessert seconds?" Cloud said, sounding confused.

"Um...well...maybe...never."

They both laughed together as the elevator door opened, and in they stepped. The door closed with a ding of the bell.

~*~*~

  
The young blond stood more than uncomfortably in Zack's tiny living quarters on one of the barrack floors. It was located in its own section that housed the SOLDIER members only. He felt out of place, almost as if he didn't deserve to be on the same floor with so many great SOLDIERs.

Cloud was admittedly a bit jealous that he had to sleep in a large, cold room filled with loudly snoring and crude men in tiny bunk-beds, while Zack at least got his own room with a small, but humble living space. But that was a perk that came with the job, Cloud knew. And Zack deserved the tiny one bedroom luxury, despite this jealousy.

He wondered where Sephiroth's room was on the floor, and he grinned shyly to himself. How he would have loved to walk past Sephiroth's space and to pass by him. He would love to catch a glimpse, or perhaps maybe have Zack finally introduce him to his hero. But Cloud was content enough to be brought into Zack's little home, and began to feel giddy as if he were really meeting Sephiroth.

And this began to confuse him.

What started as admiration for the fact that Zack was a 1st Class, soon turned into admiration for Zack himself. He was strong; confident; charming and optimistic. In Cloud's eyes he was nothing short of the perfect SOLDIER; he was everything the young blond envisioned a SOLDIER to be. The sheer embodiment of a hero, like Sephiroth, and Cloud felt blessed to have developed a close friendship with him. Just knowing Zack made Cloud feel like he himself was important and privileged, and that fact alone kept him motivated to try hard to be like him. Zack gave Cloud the strength and will he desired to feel at least on par with his fellow Shin-Ra infantry, as sometimes he pictured himself to be the busted leg of the unit. And of course, name dropping the fact that he was friends with Zack Fair, SOLDIER 1st Class came with some perks as well. But he only used that as an ace-in-the-hole when his confidence was plummeting in a conversation with his peers.

And Zack Fair, SOLDIER 1st Class had been talking to Cloud for some time now from his bedroom, but Cloud had zoned off.

"Cloud?" Zack poked his head out into his living room where Cloud stood, staring off distantly into the leather couch in front of him. He hadn't moved from where they first entered the apartment. "Yo! Cloud!"

Cloud blinked and forced a sheepish smile. "S-sorry."

"I asked if you were hungry."

"Oh...um...a-a little." He was lying. He was very hungry from the training in the outskirts of Midgar all day. Fighting creatures worked up an appetite quickly in the fifteen year old, and he longed for a nice hot meal that would put him in a food coma for several hours.

"Dammit," Zack said, his voice muffled from inside his bedroom.

"What's wrong?" Cloud took a step forward, taking an odd mental note of how plush the carpet felt under his socked feet.

Zack laughed nervously. "I...forgot to do my laundry. I have no clean pants to wear that aren't full of dirt and blood."

Another odd note  Zack was a bit messy.

It was nothing that five minutes of picking up and a garbage bag wouldn't cure, but a mess was a mess, in Cloud's mind. His mother had always taught him to be clean and tidy. Borderline O.C.D, his mother was, and she would scold him if he even so much as left a cup sitting on the table for too long, unattended.

But Zack was the opposite, having empty cups of instant ramen noodles strewn about across the coffee table in the living room, and Cloud wondered if that was all from one sitting, as Zack had a healthy appetite. A few magazines flipped open on the couch; a layer of dust across the small television; and a few open bottles of water on the small counter top in the kitchenette area. All were reasons for Cloud to feel that much more uncomfortable. Cloud was a bit mortified as he realized the mess was bothering him, and he wondered if he was becoming O.C.D like his mother was about cleanliness.

"Hey, make yourself comfortable, this may be a while as I search."

Cloud hesitantly walked over to the black leather couch and sat down stiffly, the sound of the material beneath him squeaking. The cushions felt firm as if they were brand new, and given the amount of dust that covered the television in front of him, Cloud wondered how much time did Zack actually have to spend in his apartment.

Cloud could hear Zack laugh rather loudly, and he turned on the couch to face the doorway to Zack's room. "How mad do you think Tseng would be if I wore shorts to the chow hall?"

"Very mad. As mad as he will be if you don't give him a report of the training mission today."

Zack grumbled, and his voice became clearer as he stepped out into the living room, wearing nothing but his boxer-briefs. "Dammit, all my clothes are dirty."

Cloud's eyes briefly fell upon the man's chest, taking a bit longer of a look on his defined abs than he had planned, and he quickly tore his gaze away. Whether his eyes lingered for too long because of jealousy, or something else hidden inside his mind, he wasn't sure. "Just wear dirty clothes then, it's just the chow hall," he finally said.

"Hey! This SOLDIER's gotta look good at all times, pal. You'll understand sooner or later, when you join." He paused for a moment and then darted into the bathroom. "I think I may have something thrown in here." The light was flicked on, and Zack disappeared inside.

Cloud tugged at the knee of his issued Shin-Ra trousers, uncomfortable. He hoped that Zack would clothe himself soon. His eyes went to a magazine next to him to try and take his mind off of, well, Zack.

"Can you hurry? I'm beginning to starve over here," Cloud said, whining. He picked up a magazine about Shin-Ra weaponry, and he immediately threw it back down onto the couch. But it looked out of place, so he picked it back up again and neatly set it down on the coffee table in front of him. But now it looked odd next to several cups of ramen, so he picked those upright.

But now the ramen was a bit funny sitting there, so he picked them up and stood, walking over to the kitchenette area to find the garbage can. He tossed them out and turned, seeing the half empty bottles of water. So he dumped those out into the tiny sink and tossed them in with the ramen to keep them company. They seemed happy together in the garbage can, and Cloud was pleased that he could introduce the two together and start a new friendship between ramen noodles and water bottles.

But the sink had some lonely dishes in it, so Cloud picked up the sponge and began to spend some time with them so they didn't seem so alone and dejected.

And Cloud was unaware that Zack had heard all of the friendship going on in his space and he stood behind the small bar counter that connected his kitchenette with the living room, grinning at the young blond who stood oblivious, unaware that he was being watched and laughed at silently.

Zack waited for Cloud to turn the faucet off before he spoke. "Having fun?"

Cloud twirled around, his face pale and his eyes wide. "I-I'm so sorry!" He lifted a wet hand to his face and cupped it over his mouth. "I didn't mean to impose."

"It's all right. I know, my place is a mess. I never have time to clean it, really."

"I didn't mean to be rude."

Zack shook his head, chuckling at the bumbling blond boy. "Don't worry about it. I'm not mad."

It was then that Cloud noticed that Zack had the same amount of clothes on as he did a few moments ago. Cloud looked away.

Zack noticed Cloud's sudden uneasiness and decided that it had nothing to do with the fact that Cloud was caught cleaning up his apartment, red-handed. "What's wrong?"

"N-nothing. I'm just...tired." He lied again.

Zack frowned as he looked over his friend whose attention was at the front door seeming like he wanted to bolt through it suddenly. Zack realized then that he wasn't wearing much clothes. It hadn't occurred to him, as he was comfortable in his own place and he was used to being around other men in any situation. Having gone through Shin-Ra infantry, and then SOLDIER throughout the years, being around other people with hardly any clothes on was hardly a thing to worry about for Zack. He thought that Cloud would have been used to that too, having to share barracks with about thirty other men at a time, and showering with those people as well. Why would Cloud be so bashful all of the sudden? He decided to not probe at him and turned to find something to wear.

Cloud relaxed, seeing Zack retreat back to his room through the corner of his eye. He shook his head, a bewildered expression crawling across his pale face. He just couldn't look at him, and he knew that it showed.

After several moments, the SOLDIER finally emerged wearing the same uniform he had when they had entered the place. The same pair of trousers that had a huge tear in the thigh, surrounded by the same blood stain from his injury, wearing that same bubbly look on his face as the thought of food in his near future crossed his mind.

Cloud looked at Zack and smiled softly, seeing that look he recognized. "Food time?"

"Hell yes. Sorry to keep you waiting, Cloud. I guess this'll do." He walked to the front door and Cloud noticed he was walking with a slight limp.

His heart sank. "Are you sure you want to go all the way to the chow hall? I can bring you back something, if you like." Cloud trotted over to him as Zack was bent over, tying his boots with a slight wince. Cloud was hoping that Zack would agree to this, so he could be of some assistance to him.

"Nah, I'm fine. Just a little sore. I'll sleep it off." He threw open the door as Cloud hurriedly began to tie his boots back on.

Zack smiled at him as Cloud fumbled with the tongue of the boot that had seemingly ate his laces. He waited patiently, but Cloud failed to notice his understanding demeanor, and continued with his frantic search for the ends of his laces.

Cloud was so entertaining to watch sometimes and his heart swelled when he realized that the boy was so eager to please him. It was rather endearing watching him scramble around, doing everything he could to be of use to him. Zack had to admit, it worried him a bit to know that the boy was so devoted to him, and Zack wished he would do things so enthusiastically for himself from time to time. But Zack was content in knowing that Cloud seemed to enjoy any activity he did with or for Zack, as long as it meant more time around him.

"You know, you can slow down."

Cloud looked up at him from his seat on the floor, his knee brought up to his chest as he clumsily tied the laces he was finally able to unearth. "Sorry! I know you're probably in a hurry to get something to eat."

Zack began to laugh, looking down at Cloud who was too busy apologizing to notice he tied his index finger into the knot on his boot.

It took two hard tugs of his hand and a quick glance down to notice this. And then a red blush appeared on his face. He hung his head, hoping that his hair would hide the fact that he was utterly embarrassed, once more.

But no amount of his wild hair would cover his face enough to hide it, as Zack squatted down, ignoring the burning pain in his leg as he helped Cloud remove his hand like father would do with his child who was learning how to tie their shoe for the first time. "Here."

This embarrassed Cloud even more and he looked away, ashamed of himself.

Zack tied Cloud's boot for him and flashed him a wryly grin, but Cloud didn't catch it, as his eyes were miles away.

"I could sing you the shoe tying song if you need me to."

Cloud seemed to pout at this, which all the more edged Zack into more teasing.

"Over, under, around the tree..." he began.

"Shut up, ass." Cloud playfully shoved Zack's hands away and scrambled to his feet.

Zack laughed as he stood, watching as the blond stormed by him, completely embarrassed. More laughter came from Zack as Cloud stumbled on the other boot in which he forgot to tie. He stammered forward, his hand thrusting out to the wall next to him to stop himself from tasting the tiled floor.

And even more laughing from Zack.

And even more blushing from Cloud.

Zack walked over to his stunned friend and kneeled down beneath him. Cloud's inquisitive eyes went down, hiding behind several wisps of blond hair, watching as Zack began to tie his boot for him.

"What would you do without me, buddy?" Zack's bright eyes traveled up to meet Cloud's, letting a wide, toothy grin crawl across his face.

Cloud was still blushing a terrible shade of red.

~*~*~

  
They had not walked twenty feet before the SOLDIER was leaning up against the nearest wall wincing in a sudden onslaught of pain from the fresh wound on his thigh. He was thankful for the empty hall, save for the worried blond, as he had let out a rather embarrassing yelp once the unwanted and unexpected pain coursed through his nerves.

Cloud was immediately at his side, his hands cupping Zack's outstretched arm to help him balance. A few beads of sweat rolled down Zack's temple, his vision seeming to course with the throbbing of the pain.

"You're not okay, I knew it." Cloud swung Zack's arm over his shoulder, supporting his weight against him as they slowly turned back to his apartment. "There's no way I'm letting you go all the way down to the chow hall. C'mon," he urged him, after a moment of rest from the SOLDIER, of course, and they hobbled back down the quiet hall.

Zack flopped down onto his squeaky couch, letting a very long and exasperated sigh escape from between gritted teeth. He watched, slightly amused, as Cloud dragged the coffee table across the plush carpet and held out his hand for Zack's leg.

Zack obeyed and Cloud helped ease his leg onto the coffee table to elevate it. It instantly began to feel better. He leaned his head back, closing his eyes at the relief.

"So maybe it was a bad idea." He let out a questionable noise as he felt Cloud beginning to tug at his boot. A warm smile crawled across his face as Cloud removed his boots for him and placed them neatly by the door. "I could've done that, you know," he said in his defense.

"Just like you said you were fine and could make it down to the chow hall?"

Zack chuckled in response.

Cloud walked over to the television and swiped a gloved hand across the screen. He flicked it on and walked back over to Zack, holding out the remote. "Relax for a bit. I'll be right back."

Zack blinked in confusion as he silently took the remote, and before he could question Cloud he was already leaving his space in a blond blur.

He realized what he was doing and shouted after him. "Bring back dessert!"

~*~*~

  
After much sweet-talk from the blond cadet to the lady behind the chow hall serving food, he managed to escape with more than an arms full of boxed up meals, and of course, desserts. At first she was reluctant to let him leave with what was obvious more than the young boy could possibly stomach, but after he used what little charm he thought he had on her, she eventually gave in. She even packed the meals for him.

Clambering through the halls filled with the rowdy, and somewhat inconsiderate, Shin-Ra infantry and SOLDIER mix was a feat in it of itself. But pushing his way through this sea of power hungry and cocky men with a tower of foam boxes was even more admirable, as Cloud somehow managed to do it. Meek and polite pleas from Cloud escaped him at first, careful of whom to address, and in what tone, but eventually aggravation got the better, and seldom used, half of him and he began snapping at people to move out of his damn way.

Finally, he reached the 1st Class SOLDIER floor and let a long, heavy sigh as he carefully balanced his way down the empty hall.

Reaching Zack's residence, he soon realized to his dismay that opening the door himself was next to impossible, as he found himself staring through a pile of boxes to the closed door in front of him.

"Dammit!" he said, frustrated. Should he knock? Should he get Zack to come help him, even though he was behind the door resting? Cloud shook his head, whimpering softly.

He began to slide one hand out from beneath the boxes, leaning back to allow their weight to be balanced against his chest and face. He let out a small cry as one almost toppled over, but he managed to balance it back in its place. He paused, feeling his heart beat heavy in his chest, thankful that the dessert that Zack so longingly wished for didn't end up as a new form of shoe shine on his issued boots. He was so engross in his balancing act that he was unaware of the footsteps beside him.

"Allow me,'" said a low, male voice.

Cloud could sense a form next to him reaching in front, and opening the door for him. He stammered several polite apologies and thank yous to the person who stood besides him. He knew that it had to be some sort of high ranking SOLDIER.

And he slipped inside and heard the person close the door behind him, watching as Zack grinned devilishly at him from the couch. He still had his leg obediently propped up on the coffee table, to Cloud's surprise.

"What's that look for?" Cloud almost collapsed as he set the mound of boxes down on the table next to Zack's leg.

"How in the world did you manage to haul all those meals here, let alone get Sephiroth himself to open the door for you!?"

"S-Sephiroth!?" Cloud yelped, nearly choking on the saliva in his throat.

"You must've caught him in a generous mood for him to do that, especially for a 'grunt' like you."  Zack chuckled, jokingly speaking the word grunt.

Cloud then gave into the urge to collapse, and he so willingly did on the couch next to Zack, who peered at him suspiciously.

"T-that w-was S-Sephiroth!?" His face drained of its color; drained of any bit of confidence and stability that was barely there to begin with.

"Yeah, you didn't notice?" Zack said casually, as he leaned forward grabbing a box from the middle, not even caring what was inside. He opened it like a treasure chest, carefully and considerately taking in the beautiful and hearty sight in front of him. A big, fat cheeseburger. He purred with contentment.

Cloud would have been chuckling at the behavior of his friend if he wasn't so occupied reeling beside him.

Zack ignored Cloud and began to passionately eat his burger.

The blond continued to stammer the hero's name repeatedly, his eyes losing their luster to embarrassment and shock. He stared into the television mindlessly, not taking in the sights before him on the screen.

After a few silent moments, Zack waved a hand in front of Cloud's face, shrugged when he got no response, then resumed eating.

Eventually, hunger got the other better of him, and Cloud reached forward with a now steady hand and grabbed whatever box he first touched and brought it to his lap. His face was still void.

Zack began to laugh at him uncontrollably then, once he glanced his way. He was blindly fumbling for his utensil with his right hand, completely and utterly unaware that the fork he was searching for was in his left hand already. Blank eyes continued to watch the flashing screen in front of him. "You're too cute!" Zack cried out, leaning to the side of the couch, racked with laughter.

"What?" Cloud blinked, looking over at Zack, his then distant eyes now back to the present, filled with confusion and what almost looked like interest.

"What?" Zack said back through dissipating laughs, but the question was actually aimed at himself. His laughter subsided with several heaves of his shoulders at the realization of what he just blurted out to the young Cloud. He slowly sat up, his eyes wanting to look away from Cloud's, but resisted. That would be too suspicious.

"What did...you just say?" Cloud peered at him questionably.

"I said 'You're too cool!'" What a terrible save.

But it seemed to be enough for the blond as he turned his gaze back to the television in front of him with a quick nod, and began to mindlessly eat his dinner from his lap.

Zack let out a very slow, constricted sigh that was inaudible to the wary blond beside him, and he was thankful for that. He bit his bottom lip, his eyes staring at the images on the screen, but was not processing them.

A thought occurred to Zack then as a shampoo ad flashed on the screen. "Why are you so shocked that it was Sephiroth?"

Cloud choked on the bite of food in his mouth.

Zack reached over and patted his back instinctively as Cloud took in gulps of restricted air, watching as his hand went up to his chest and pounded several times.

"W-what?" he squeaked out, his eyes wide with a dubious look.

"You got a thing for him, or what?" Zack grinned, but then realized what he had said and then waved a hand dismissively in front of his face. "I mean, is he your hero or something?" He forced back an embarrassed flush that threatened to wash over his face. Zack had been hoping that Cloud would answer his original question, in hopes to determine if he was possibly into that sort of thing...

Cloud was the one to turn red out of the two, as his hand lowered from his chest and onto his box of food. He leaned forward and placed it on the coffee table quietly, trying to form his answer in his head.

 _Please, please, please, please answer the question._ Zack's mind was a sudden jumbled mess, his heart racing in his chest.

But of course, like a tragedy, Cloud answered as vague as he possibly could, which really was no surprise to Zack at all. He was rather secretive and shy, and would possibly never admit anything of the sort.

"I was just shocked that he would help me out, is all."

Zack's shoulders slumped, and he turned his attention back to the television in front of him dejectedly.

"I..." Cloud started, and Zack looked back at him with curious eyes. "I've just always wanted to meet him."

A smile broke out on Zack's face tenderly. "I could arrange that, you know."

"R-really?" He was suddenly trembling at the thought and Zack could see this excitement in him, like a child who just received a brand new bike on their birthday.

"Let me pull some strings with Tseng, and I'll see if we can go on a mission or something soon, okay?"

Cloud nodded enthusiastically, the largest of the blond spikes on his head bobbing as he did this.

 _Damn, he really is too cute._

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

  


## ...To be continued in Chapter Two: Bruised


	2. Bruised

~*~*~*~*~*~*~   


# Chapter Two: Bruised

  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~

  
The rest of the evening the two sat together on Zack's couch conversing about not much of anything but the silly sitcom in front of them on the television. Zack only laughed at it because Cloud was laughing at it, as it really brought no sense of entertainment to him.

Little did Zack know that Cloud was only laughing at it because Zack was laughing at it.

They had finished their respective meals and even had to store some in Zack's empty refrigerator, as Cloud had been a bit overzealous about the selection he brought back for Zack. He wasn't sure what the SOLDIER would or wouldn't like.

Zack was hardly picky and would eat about anything placed in front of him. Save for maybe especially green vegetables. Those he ate, but with not much pleasure. His parents always taught him to eat everything on his plate and he obeyed. It was much easier for him knowing that he could eat anything, rather than have to worry about not liking something, and fret over it.

Cloud, on the other hand had certain tastes, and those didn't include green things, and sweet things.

So Zack ate his dessert as well.

"I can't believe you don't like cake!" Zack said, teasing Cloud, who was washing a few dishes behind in the kitchen. Zack stretched out like a cat, his muscles trembling as he did so; he felt good, despite the pain in his leg.

"Only sometimes," he said casually, the sound of the dishes clanking as he set them in the dish rack.

"Aren't kids supposed to enjoy those sort of things?" Zack's eyes suddenly felt heavy, and he fought with them to stay open. Slipping into a food-induced coma was one of his favorite pastimes.

A chuckle filled Zack's ears as Cloud came back around to the couch and plopped down. Zack's eyes shot open with a short gasp, but Cloud didn't seem to notice his lethargic friend besides him. "I'm not a kid."

Zack snorted a laugh, too tired to reply with a sarcastic retort as he normally would have in any other situation. Sleep was winning the battle of wits, at the moment.

Cloud finally noticed this and smiled at him softly. He watched as Zack's head slowly lowered, his shoulders sinking down. Cloud had never seen him so vulnerable-looking. He was always so alert, so animate. Even out in the field on missions he was perky and jubilant until the others begged him to go to sleep. He usually pouted for several moments, then just obeyed like a restless puppy and went to sleep in under a minute. Going from bouncing around like a jittery Cactuar to sound asleep always astounded everyone who worked with him.

But now he lay there on his couch, his legs propped up on the coffee table, his arms folded across his chest and his chin was against his neck. He was snoring steadily.

Cloud nodded to himself, deciding now was the best time to check. He walked around to the other side of the couch and kneeled down. He placed a gentle hand on Zack's left thigh, slowly lifting the ripped material in the pants to peer at the wound. He forced himself to stay strong as there was some blood surrounding the fabric and the bandage underneath. He couldn't get a good enough look with that angle as it was centered more towards his inner thigh.

He stood, frowning to himself. He had noticed a soft sheen of sweat on Zack's face and was worried that he may have been running a fever. Infection could spread quick, Cloud knew, as it happened to him once with a simple scrape on his hand.

Within hours of the injury, pain had increased ten fold, and a red blotch appeared around the area on Cloud's hand. It soon tripled in size in under six hours. After blood work, several x-rays and a tetanus shot in the shoulder, he was on antibiotics for two weeks afterward. All from scraping his hand on the safety of his assault rifle, ironically enough. So he was more than cautious when it came to this sort of thing. He had to get a better look, as Zack would probably ignore the injury as if nothing even happened.

Cloud got to his hands and knees and ducked under Zack's legs which were sprawled out on the table. He poked his head up from between his legs, looking around nervously. This was quite awkward, and he only hoped that Zack would stay asleep during his amateur exam.

Shaking hands reached out and lifted the torn fabric again. He leaned in close, his heart thumping in his chest. He raised up from sitting on his heels and got even closer. Tilting his head slightly to the side, he managed to peer in and see normal colored skin surrounding the bandage, so he relaxed a bit.

That was until Zack let out a sleepy laugh, flinching under Cloud's gentle touch.

Cloud soon found a pair of hands running through his hair mindlessly. "Z-Zack...?" He tried to glance up but Zack's hands were gripping the sides of his head firmly as he continued to let out little breathless laughs.

A laugh rumbled deep from his throat. "...That tickles."

Muscles were frozen in the boy's body at the purr that came from the SOLDIER. It made Cloud's heart forget its rhythm, and left Cloud as breathless as Zack was at that moment. He panicked. He hadn't realized prior to this that to see inside the pair of trousers had caused him to become dangerously close to Zack's groin area. He could feel his body heat against his flushed skin.

Moving was impossible under the strength of the SOLDIER, so he just kneeled there, waiting for him to move, or wake up, or something. It was nerve-wracking.

Although the blond had to admit that he was sort of enjoying this. Whether or not because it was just a comical situation, or that the idea of how close he was to Zack at that moment, were the possible factors in this enjoyment. Often he would imagine what it would be like to be between Zack's legs, but embarrassment and shame quickly filled his head during those thoughts, and quickly wiped them away.

He realized that Zack's fingers were still intertwined with his hair, and were going nowhere, after several moments of kneeling there confined between strong hands. His legs were staring to tingle from the strange position. He tried to move, but his head brushed up against Zack's crotch and just made the man tighten his grip to a borderline painfully erotic squeeze through his hair. "Zack...?" He felt bad for trying to wake him, but he needed his head back. "Wake up!"

Zack flinched, his eyes shooting open. He looked down at Cloud in disbelief. Then he looked at his hands on his head in the same light. This was a rather suggestive scene.

"Cloud?" he said, dumbfounded.

"Zack?" he said, dumbfounded, as well.

"What the hell is going on?"

"Um...you have my head in your hands," Cloud mumbled, rather blatantly.

"Why?"

"I...don't know."

And his head was released from the warm hands.

Cloud sat back on his heels, still between Zack's legs. "I-I was just checking...for...infection."

Zack slowly straightened himself up on the couch and lowered his legs from off the table. His eyes darted about in groggy confusion at what he had awoken to. "S-sorry."

"Um...me...too." Cloud stood, not wanting to make eye contact with Zack, and Zack was doing the same. A strange vibe fell onto the both of them, and they stirred in their positions.

"I-I should go. It's...late." He uncomfortably rubbed the back of his neck, worried that this situation may have done something to hinder their friendship. "Uh...I need to report...back to the barracks for lights out soon..." he trailed off as Zack nodded numbly in response.

Cloud turned and walked swiftly to the front door, jamming his feet into his issued boots without bothering to tie them. "I-if you need help with your injury...just call me and I'll sneak out," he mumbled, throwing the door open.

"Y-yeah...see ya Cloud..."

And with that Cloud shut the door behind him, his footsteps fading down the hall.

Zack was hoping that Cloud hadn't noticed the growing arousal between his legs while he was down there.

 

~*~*~

  
Alarm; shouting; gasps; scrambling; more shouting; scurried shuffling; beds being made; uniforms being thrown on; more shouting.

This was Cloud's morning in the barracks.

Except for this morning he was especially and individually being shouted at by a 3rd Class SOLDIER two inches from his face.

"And where the fuck were you last night, Strife!?"

"Sir!" Cloud straightened, his hands sliding to his sides stiffly. His light blue eyes stared through the man in front of him, as he learned that actually looking into their eyes would cause more shouting. It was also easier to detach himself from the situation by looking through them. _Don't look in his eyes, don't look in his eyes._

"You heard me, you little fuck! Now answer me."

"Sir! I returned late from a mission with 1st Class Fair. Sir!" A bead of sweat rolled down his nervous face, and it showed.

"The reports said you returned at 1830! So where the fuck were you?"

"S-sir...?"

"S-s-s-s-s-s..." he mocked Cloud's startled stutter as he craned his neck to peer farther into him.

The nervous boy could hear the chuckles from other infantrymen around him.

"Shut up, assholes!" The 3rd's face temporarily left Cloud's little bubble as he turned his head to shout at the snickering men besides him in the inspection line. And to Cloud's dismay, the face was returned again. He was thankful that the man was chewing on a wad of mint gum otherwise this would have been even more uncomfortable for his sensitive nose. This, however, didn't save him from the man spitting on him as he yelled.

"Fuck you, you little fuck, you better answer me, and quick."

He forced himself to stop trembling, but his voice came out a bit more unstable than he hoped for. "Sir! There was an incident on our mission that required us to visit the infirmary afterwards, Sir! It took longer than expected, Sir!"

Cloud suddenly found a good portion of his uniform blouse bundled up in the fist of the 3rd before him. He was pulled close, his legs having the weight of his upper body being stolen from them. He refrained from letting out a startled yelp.

"You're a piece of shit, you know that, Strife?"

Cloud wriggled under his grasp. No matter what the officers said to them, no matter how they berated them, or swore at them, they were forbidden to touch them in any way under code of conduct. He hoped that his uniform was the only thing the 3rd was going to touch.

"Sir...!"

"I don't fucking like you, Strife," was the last thing the man said before he lifted the boy a foot off of the ground with his strength, and threw him against the metal bed frame behind him. The bunk bed screeched across the tiled floor from the force, and Cloud sank down, gritting his teeth. The 3rd smirked before walking past the shocked faces of the infantry unit.

A nearby grunt went to leave the inspection line to help Cloud who was on his knees, gripping his left side in pain. The frame of the bed was buckled inward in the shape of Cloud's chest.

"Don't you dare fuckin' help him!" The 3rd now got into the infantryman's face. "Don't any of you fuckin' help that little fuck, you hear me?" He continued his march down the line towards the exit. "And clean your goddamn weapons before I get back!"

"Sir!" was the shocked and collective voice from the line, save for Cloud who was writhing on the tiled floor.

"What a dick," someone muttered, as that voice and two others surrounded Cloud, disobeying the orders from the 3rd after he made his exit.

Shaking from trauma and pain, Cloud was hoisted up to his feet from several of his peers, who at the moment he couldn't recognize through the agony in his rib cage. He was just thankful that some people at least cared for him in his unit, even if he was the black sheep of everyone.

"You okay, Strife?"

Cloud felt a hand at his side gently as two other hands were at his shoulders, steadying him. "F-fine..."

"Anything feel broken, yeah?"

Cool air touched his hot skin, and he gasped at the sensation as his shirt was lifted by someone.

Pressure, pain, pressure, pain. This repeated as someone tenderly touched his side, feeling for signs of fracture.

"I think it's just bruised, yeah."

"What a fuckin' dick. I swear I'll kick Mejia's scrawny ass one day." A low, husky voice that carried a hint of blood-lust.

He started to recognize voices now. That was Graves.

"Wait until this gets reported to the Brass. They'll enjoy hearing this." That was Elici, the calm collective tone being unmistakable.

"Do you want me to take you to the infirmary, yeah?" Ratcliff this time. He often ended his sentences with 'yeah'. It was annoying at first when Cloud got to know him, but after a while he hardly noticed it.

"N-no..." He was breathing slowly, as inflating his lungs with oxygen pressed against his ribs quite painfully. "I'll be fine. You shouldn't be helping me anyway. Go clean your weapons."

Graves laughed. "This guy! Orderin' us around!"

The other two chuckled and Cloud joined in forcefully.

"Oh shit, will ya be able ta do the hump today now?" Graves said, his hand going to his scruffy chin in thought.

"How many miles is it anyway, yeah?"

"Seven," Elici said slowly, regretfully.

The four grimaced, Cloud now having two reasons to make that expression.

Elici rubbed the back of his neck, glancing around with green eyes to the other men who were migrating to the metal tables to clean their weapons as ordered. "Well, I'm gonna sneak out and tell someone about this." He nodded to himself, his brown hair swaying in front of his face.

"N-no." Cloud reached out a hand to stop him, but retracted it as pain denied him of this intended movement. "Don't. He'll retaliate."

"Not if his ass is in the brig." Graves cracked his knuckles through leather gloves, habitually. He did this often and made the others cringe. He stopped, realizing that the other three looked at him with disdain. A wide toothy grin covered his dark face.

Ratcliff spoke for Cloud now, sensing that the blond really didn't want this to leak from the confines of the barracks. "No, leave it alone for now, yeah?" He placed a hand on the shaking boy besides him. "Don't upset him more, yeah?"

Cloud was thankful that he had at least some friends, even though they were rather strange in their own respects. After the incident last night with Zack, he was afraid he might be one down on the few friends he actually had. A knot formed in his stomach, realizing this.

"Hey, why don't you lie down. I'll clean your gun for you, yeah?"

"And if anyone has a fuckin' problem with that, I'll kick yer ass!" Graves shouted to the men, who just looked up at him questionably, and then resumed going about their business, disassembling and reassembling their weapons with a soft chatter.

Cloud shook his head, forcing his hand that was nursing his side down. "No, I'm good."

The three just peered at him.

 

~*~*~

  
The rain was soaking into everything around. It created a cold blanket of woe and dread on the silent men who trudged along the muddy wastelands outside of the city. Nothing but the sound of the rain and the heavy packs on the men's backs shuffling with their steps was heard, until a young blond cadet let out a stifled cry of pain. He fell to his knees, clutching his side.

Everyone continued their pace, walking around the fallen cadet, ignoring any movement but their own. Their minds pressed on in their heads, staring blankly at the path before them, rounding their fifth mile as they hiked back towards the city. It didn't appear to become any closer as the weight on their backs and the rain soaking into their uniforms hindered their spirit. It did nothing but cause their goal to slip further away with each labored step.

"Strife! Get the fuck up!" Mejia's voice was screaming at him from behind the pack.

Cloud moaned quietly, the man's voice rather distant in his ears. Searing pain enveloped his side and worsened as his hundred pound pack on his shoulders began to slip off to the side. It tugged him towards the ground, and his eyes glazed over in a welcoming numbness. He could hear nothing but an echo of his breathing in his ears. Everything else around him became silent.

He could see through half-lidded eyes the face of Mejia shouting at him only inches away, but he couldn't make out what he was saying, thankfully. His blue eyes trailed down and watched as hands gripped his uniform. As if in slow motion, he was pulled up to his feet roughly, but he felt nothing. A white hue of light began to creep into the corners of his eyes. He watched as the scenery around him began to waver and fluctuate. He could feel his body begin to fall.

But he stopped. Had Mejia caught him?

"What happened, Strife?"

His senses were snapped back and he could suddenly hear the rain around him, and the distant footsteps that were fading away in front of him. His eyes lazily trailed up to the rest of his unit continuing on. He saw Elici glance back from the middle, but then resumed with the pack.

Mejia was standing in front of him, his hands no where near his body.

"Strife?"

Cloud turned his head in a daze, and his eyes met those of Kunsel. "Sir?"

"You dehydrated?"

"Sir?"

A grin broke out on his face from beneath his issued helmet. "Hang on, let's get you your water." He reached down, his hand brushing up against his injured side as he removed the canteen off of his waist.

Cloud cried out, the pain stabbing across the nerves in his rib cage.

"What the hell happened, Strife? When did you get hurt?"

Cloud's eyes nervously darted up to Mejia who stood there with a smugness that seeped out a threatening aura to the young blond.

"Y-yesterday...at the training mission with Zack."

"1st Class Fair," Mejia said. "You will address him correctly when speaking of him, runt."

Kunsel looked up and shot Mejia a look that caused him to retract his head, shutting his mouth. Kunsel's face softened, looking down at Cloud. "Why didn't you get this looked after?"

"Sir, why are you wasting your time with this little fuck?"

"Angels! Get your ass back up with the unit!" Kunsel said, and Mejia obeyed, turning after an apologetic salute. He jogged up to continue his reign of power over the rest of the group. His swearing and yells were drowned out from the screaming rain.

"Well Cloud?" His hand was on Cloud's trembling back, rubbing it slightly as if comforting him. "You shouldn't push yourself this hard." The hand was removed from his back and Cloud could hear the sound of the top on the canteen being unscrewed with a squeak. It was brought to the cadet's parted lips.

Cloud reached up and took it, taking a half-hearted swig of water. It just drizzled down his chin mindlessly. Kunsel wondered if he even ingested any at all.

"Sorry, sir."

"Kunsel," he said, correcting him. There was no point in formalities, when it was just be the two of them. "Don't worry about formalities when it's just us, okay?" He was kind and gentle, like Zack. Cloud really liked when he was assigned to lead over the unit; he felt at ease when he was there.

"I'm sorry, I'll catch up. I just...got a little overwhelmed." He seemed eager to follow the unit as Mejia was making his way back to them. A sudden panic formed on his face which caused Kunsel to lift his eyebrows in question.

"How did you say you hurt yourself yesterday, again?" Kunsel observed as Cloud nervously darted a gaze between Mejia and himself. "I heard that Zack was injured, and not you."

"I just...didn't want Zack to know. He worries about me too much, and he really shouldn't. So I didn't say anything to anyone. I'll be fine," he said all in one short breath.

The 2nd Class just nodded silently, watching as Mejia reached them once more. "Okay Strife, back to the hump."

Cloud nodded and readjusted his pack on his shoulders before awkwardly trotting off to regroup.

Kunsel's sudden cold gaze turned to Mejia who was shrouded in a bundle of nervous energy.

"What'd he say?"

"About what, Angels?"

"A-about his injury. How'd he get it?"

Kunsel's eyes burned straight into the 3rd as if reading into his min,d and it made Mejia squirm in his skin. He panicked, wondering what exactly was exchanged between the two. Had Cloud ratted him out? He shifted nervously on his feet.

"If I ever see you touch any of these men like that again, I will have you stripped of your rank faster than you'll have time to blink, Angels. Is that clear?"

"Sir, I only touched him because he was fall-"

"Is that clear?"

"S-sir."

"Move out!"

"Sir!" Mejia turned on his heels and sprinted off to catch up to the men who were now a good distance away. Kunsel watched as Cloud who was following, slipped slightly in the mud, but carried on.

A hand went to his pocket and fished out his cell phone. He flipped it open with a click and dialed a number with ease. "Hey," Kunsel said as the phone was answered with a short greeting on the other end. "You got a minute?" His hearing was strained through the wind and the rain around. "What happened yesterday on the training mission?"

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

## ...To be continued in Chapter Three: Young Bones; Little Birdie


	3. Young Bones; Little Birdie

~*~*~*~*~*~*~  


# Chapter Three: Young Bones; Little Birdie

  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~

  
"Not hungry?" Graves jabbed a fork into a potato on Cloud's plate and ate it swiftly before Cloud was given the chance to fight back.

But he remained still, his eyes staring off into the humble food in front of him.

Elici was missing from the group as they sat in the cafeteria, trying to warm their tired and cold bones from the seven mile hump from earlier that day. They were barely given enough time to strip and shower before being sent back out for a meal. The men hated the days that were dictated and run by the SOLDIERs assigned to their unit. Some days were more relaxed than others and they were given a few hours of liberty some nights, which allowed for the men to do as they please, but as long as it was in Midgar and as long as they reported back for lights out each night on time. It all depended on which SOLDIER was assigned to reign over them, and whether or not they were in a good mood.

But tonight it was Mejia's turn, much to everyone's dismay, which didn't allow for any personal time to be enjoyed. They were hoping they could sneak out and catch a movie at the theater on LOVELESS Avenue before lights out. That hope was dashed as quick as it was thought up as the 3rd was barking out orders to them once they reached the barracks from their hump.

So instead of a nice meal outside of the Shin-Ra building like they longed for, they were stuck with the inconsistent and questionable meal that was served to them in the chow line.

Cloud wanted to see Zack, but thought it was for the best that he wasn't able to. He hadn't spoken to him since the night before after the awkward incident between them. Was it as strange as Cloud remembered it to be? Maybe it wasn't as bad as he thought. Perhaps Zack didn't remember it through the grogginess. He kicked himself, not being able to decide on a resolution to these feelings.

"He's...out, yeah?" Ratcliff said, motioning over to the blond across from him, who sat very still. "Dead to the world, yeah?"

Graves was a mischievous man. He was crude, quick tempered, and mostly loyal to his friends. He was a force to be reckoned with, and the only reason why he wasn't promoted to a SOLIDER class was because of his recklessness in battle at times, caused by a short fuse. 'Shoot to kill' was a motto he took to his heart and obeyed rather zealously, which oftentimes got him deeper into trouble than he would have liked to admit.

And this mischievous man suddenly jabbed his fork not into another potato, but into Cloud's injured rib to get him to snap back into the reality he was avoiding with deep thoughts.

Cloud yelped and then turned to look at the man angrily. "What the hell was that for, Graves!?"

Graves pounded the table raucously, and then laughed a little bit too deviously.

Ratcliff made a sound of distaste at this behavior. "Dammit Graves, you're such an ass, yeah!"

"I know, I couldn't fuckin' resist!"

Cloud tittered at them through the pain. It was a mean thing to do, but he enjoyed the company of these men, however twisted they were collectively at times. "Sorry, I was just thinking."

"Yeah, we could tell." Graves resumed eating off of Cloud's plate, which made Ratcliff start scooping his own meal onto the blond's plate, feeling sorry for him that his dinner was depleting, and he hadn't even touched a bite of it. He was glaring at Graves from across the table.

"Will you stop eating his food, yeah?"

Cloud shook his head and pushed his meal forward. "It's okay, I'm not hungry."

"You should eat, yeah." Ratcliff pushed it back towards him. "Young bones need nourishment."

This was true, as Cloud was the youngest out of his entire unit, which probably was the reason for his alienation from most of the men around him. Save for the three who befriended him despite the six year age difference between them. They looked to him as if he were a younger brother, enamored by his youth and gentle charm. He was humble, considerate, naïve, and innocent all at the same time.

So they could see how Zack Fair could be so easily engrossed with Cloud, even if Cloud couldn't see it himself, as his opinion for himself was rather low at times. But the three men felt that there was something about the boy they couldn't quite figure out, and they knew Zack was relentlessly trying to figure it out for himself, as well. Cloud was that enigma, after all.

And they felt a sense of duty to protect the young cadet, and nurture him, just as Zack felt. They were more than happy to see Cloud slowly coming out of his youthful shell with the SOLDIER as the months went by. The SOLDIER's infectious personality and witty smile affected everyone he came into contact with, and he could even draw some personality out of Sephiroth. That was an accomplishment all of its own.

So it was no wonder that when Cloud began to spend more time with Zack that he smiled more, joked more, and even seemed to toughen up in situations his brain would normally shut down in. Cloud was young and impressionable, surrounded by older men in dangerous situations. For Cloud to be able to enjoy some of his youth with the SOLDIER, it eased the three in their worry that Cloud would fall prey to sin too quickly.

At first Cloud seemed overwhelmed with the man as he drowned in Zack's bubbly persona, stunned that a SOLDIER could be so well rounded in many areas; that someone like him could exist. Any preconceived ideas he had about SOLDIER members were thrown out the window when Zack came along, as Cloud originally viewed SOLDIER as warriors like Sephiroth  strong, stoic, godly, inapproachable. So when that puppy came wagging his tail around, mingling with the grunts as if he were one of them, it humbled Cloud's opinion of SOLDIERs, and soon gained Cloud's adoration.

Ratcliff recalled the first time Cloud had met Zack from their mission in Modeoheim. He was star-struck and awed. He would recount each encouraging word that the SOLDIER said to him on that mission, even though he felt he didn't perform his duties as well as he could have. Zack had just met him, and he treated him with respect and care. Something Cloud hadn't really felt before, and when Zack reached out with that pat on the back, it sent a fire through his soul and ignited a passion and devotion for the man. Like a young child, Cloud would go on and on about Zack, and eventually Graves had to put the boy in a headlock to quiet him.

And there was something there behind those eyes of Cloud's when he spoke of the man  something that only Ratcliff could see. It was an admiration, and quite frankly, a little crush that Cloud developed for the SOLDIER as the months went by. But Ratcliff kept that knowledge to himself, however.

They hadn't noticed Elici walking up and finally joining them with a tray of food. He sat down with a content sigh and immediately placed a small plate of vegetables in front of Cloud, who frowned at them with disdain.

"Get those the hell away." Cloud poked at the broccoli with a fork. "They're stinky." Such a childish response to the vegetable.

"The only way they're gonna disappear is if you eat them, my friend," Elici said and chuckled before he started to delve into his own 'stinky' vegetables.

"Where were you Elici, yeah?" Ratcliff peered at him suspiciously, his blue eyes scanning the somewhat guilty-looking man.

Elici shrugged to himself, pushing the plate even closer to Cloud who leaned back in his seat as if trying to get as far away from the vegetables as possible, without scrambling to his feet and making a beeline to the doors. "Just made a quick call to home. My wife said our son has been sick lately." He turned his gaze back to Cloud who had a face of utter disgust on it. "Don't let it go to waste now. Eat it." It was apparent he was a parent, as he shot Cloud a look not to trifle with.

"Sumthin' goin' 'round?" Graves was making a poor attempt at opening a carton of juice with gloved hands, his black eyebrows furrowed in the middle of his face.  
Ratcliff was glaring at Elici from across the table silently, not believing a word the man was saying.

"Something like that," was the all-too-casual reply.

They watched in awe as Cloud quickly popped a small piece of broccoli in his mouth with a scrunched up face.

Graves suddenly let out a cry of anger beside them, as he slammed the carton of juice down against the table. It broke, releasing its contents onto the plate of Cloud's vegetables, soaking them in juice.

Cloud looked elated. "Yes! Thanks Graves!"

Graves grinned widely, as the other two just scoffed and rolled their eyes. "Glad I could help!"

An arm suddenly appeared in Cloud's vision from behind him and a new plate was set down with the same old broccoli, but juice-free, and unfortunately quite edible.

"Tough luck, kid."

"Sir!" the three chirped out in surprise.

Cloud craned his neck to see Zack standing behind him with a gentle smile on his face. "Zack!" he said, partially in utter glee and partially in shock. He was hoping to avoid him for a few days after the previous incident. "W-what're you doing here?"

"I'm hungry, duh!" He nodded a quick thanks as Graves scooted down on the bench so Zack could join in between. They were all beaming brightly at him, excited to have the SOLDIER join them at the table.

Cloud shivered, feeling Zack's body heat as he sat down close to him. A tired feeling washed over him, the kind of sleepiness that would be enjoyed on a warm summer day in the early evening. He resisted the urge to lean towards him and rest his weary body against that strength.

"How was the hump, boys?" Zack stabbed a fork into a rather large mound of pasta on his plate. His tongue was sticking out in concentration as he attempted to wind the noodles around his utensil.

Graves scoffed, eating from his own plate now, as Zack would probably scold him for mooching off of his young friend. "Shitty, of course."

Zack chuckled while slurping a long tendril of pasta into his mouth. He went cross-eyed, watching as it retracted into his mouth, and gave him a slap on the tip of the nose before disappearing. Ratcliff chuckled.

"You only thought it was shitty because your pack broke halfway through the hump," Elici said, and then the two began to argue.

Zack turned his attention to the young Cloud, his friendly and outgoing demeanor suddenly changing as the conversation continued besides them with the now three bickering men. Ratcliff joined in on the topic, attempting to play the mediator.

"Hey, buddy," he said softly between the arguing around them. His normally bright eyes turned solemn as he leaned towards Cloud. "How ya doin'?"

Cloud's breathing was erratic, his eyes darting back and forth on Zack's nervously. "O-okay..." He tried to get his breathing under control as it looked awfully suspicious, and also was quite uncomfortable under his hurting rib cage. "W-why?"

Zack reached up with a gloved hand and passed his knuckles gently along Cloud's side. It was a skilled and erotic touch, whether Zack meant it to be or not, and if it wasn't for the shooting pain in his bone, Cloud would have probably enjoyed it. "I heard you're not feelin' too well."

Cloud jumped at the touch, his knees bumping up under the table and causing the trays on the top to clatter. He fell towards Zack's chest with a small cry of pleasure and pain. His spine went limp at the caress, and his muscles shut down from the pain. It was a strange combination that left him downright confused, and quite useless.

The men turned their attention at all the noise and looked to Zack who was now gripping Cloud's shoulders to help hold him up with a concerned look.

"What happened?" Elici leaned forward to peer around Cloud's shoulder to see his bewildered face against Zack's chest.

"A little birdie told me that Cloud here wasn't doing too good." Zack gave a glance over to each of the men around him, who nodded slowly. "I had to come see for myself."

Cloud tried to pull away from Zack's chest, but he held him there while he spoke, and Cloud wondered if he was aware he was still keeping him prisoner in his grip once more. Cloud could make out the sound of Zack's beating heart, and it resonated through him, not helping his already feeble constitution.

"Zack...let me go," Cloud said, his voice muffled Zack's warm chest.

"Not until you go down to the infirmary for a check-up. It could be broken."

"I'm fine." More muffled speech, and more squirming.

Zack could feel Cloud's hand worm its way past his stomach and up his chest between them in a pathetic attempt to pry himself away. Zack's grip just tightened. "Do I have to carry you down there, Cloud?"

"N-no...."

"Then you'll go?"

"Fine...."

Zack grinned at Cloud's reluctant answer. "I win!" He continued to hold him there, however, not realizing it. He could feel Cloud relax against him, and could feel his warm breath breeze through the fabric on his uniform. It flowed against his skin, causing him to inwardly shudder. His arms slowly wrapped around his shoulders, unaware he was now holding Cloud in a rather deep embrace, and for a rather suspicious amount of time.

Ratcliff cleared his throat, motioning to several people who were now staring with either amusement or confusion. "Sir, shouldn't you take him down there now, yeah?"

Zack quickly let go of Cloud almost roughly, but managed not to jolt the injured boy in the process. "Sorry, Cloud. You're just too stubborn. You can't be trusted. I thought you were gonna make a break for it if I let you go before you agreed." Yet another awful save. That was twice in less than twenty-four hours.

Cloud was blushing an extraordinary shade of red, and was speechless.

Elici and Graves were laughing, and Ratcliff just smiled at Cloud.

 

~*~*~

  
"Now."

"No..."

" _Now!_ "

"...No..."

The contents of the bag shifted as it was held out to the reluctant blond. Light blue eyes stared into the brilliant blue eyes of the SOLDIER.

"It's something you have to do."

"I don't _have_ to do anything." Eager eyes glanced at the clock above in Zack's kitchen. Two more hours until lights out. He was growing anxious, and Zack could tell.

However Zack was a stubborn man. Almost as stubborn as the blond who stood there, with his right arm slung across his waist, gripping his tender side with a look of meek defiance. It was his pathetic gesture in denying the only remedy for a confirmed bruised rib  tons of ice.

"You need to do this. It'll help with the pain and healing." Zack was now reading off an information care sheet given to them after Cloud was forced to see the on duty doctor. He chucked it off to the side in annoyance, and it landed underneath the coffee table.

"I hate ice."

Zack released a very controlled sigh through his nose. This breath was unnervingly calm and caused Cloud to rightfully take a step back towards the front door. Zack was scaring the hell out of him.

And before the blond could react, in what was literally two blinks of his eyes, he found himself dangerously close to the chest of the SOLDIER who somehow made a six foot gap between them disappear instantly.

Cloud let out a small gasp, not having even been able to follow this movement, or even the next one that followed.

Zack grabbed Cloud by the wrist a bit roughly, his face remaining emotionless as he suddenly flung the unsuspecting boy against the couch.

He landed with a startled cry, the sound of his weight making the couch give out a leathery squeak. He then found himself pinned on his back, sprawled across the couch with the SOLDIER on his knees above him, leaning in.

Short, restrained breaths were flowing from the trembling boy, his eyes darting uncontrollably across the stoic face of Zack who was inches away with those enamoring blue eyes, that strong jawline, those plush pillowy lips...

His hand still pressed Cloud's wrist to the surface of the couch. Cloud squirmed.

"Z-Zack...what...are you d-doing?"

Zack hushed him, his eyes reflecting into Cloud what could have been mistaken for...lust? He could feel Zack begin to lift his shirt slowly, smiling to the shocked expression of the boy beneath him.

The cool air of the apartment kissed Cloud's damp skin beneath his clothing as it was gracefully lifted up to his neck.

Grasping onto a single word in his mind was impossible as he just lay there, dubious. Cloud whimpered, shocked, and slightly aroused. That was until a sharp feeling of ice was pressed up against his rib cage, and then the sound of Zack's amused chuckle followed as the boy gasped and writhed beneath him. His struggle was short-lived as Zack squeezed his wrist, telling the boy he wasn't going to win this battle. Cloud gave in and lay there, wincing from the pain that was temporarily increased by the cold substance.

After a few minutes of silence between them, and Zack still on top of him, Cloud began to relax as the pain became void from the ice. Zack continued to hold it there, staring down at the blushing boy beneath him who just had his eyes closed and his neck craned as far into the couch cushions as he possibly could, as if trying to worm his way from the ice. Or perhaps worm away from Zack's amorous look he was unconsciously holding on his face.

Zack was fighting off the suggesting arousal between his legs, but he just couldn't resist acting this way to the boy. He was scared of his own actions, but something just told him that what he was doing was okay, that it was right. Cloud almost seemed to be enjoying it too, perhaps, as his pale face had a gentle wash of red.

Cloud's own arousal that should have been there was denied by the shrill feeling of the cold ice on his side. And had this been any other circumstance, he would have been pitching that proverbial tent, as the boys would call it. He was thankful that he wasn't going _camping_ at the moment.

"There," Zack said, his voice coming out a bit more sultry-sounding than he planned, and quickly cleared his throat. "That wasn't so bad, was it?" It was still a bit suggestive-sounding, he critiqued, but a little bit better.

Cloud shook his head weakly from side to side, swallowing hard. "N-no..."

The SOLDIER watched as Cloud licked his lips unconsciously through the subsiding pain, and it made Zack's heart jump and his breath hitch silently in his chest. Zack unconsciously licked his own lips in rebuttal. He wanted to dip his head down while he had Cloud there and taste the smooth lips that made him a bit crazy at times, admittedly.

Zack was a person who always looked people in the eye as they talked, and his gaze wouldn't really wander off, unless it was a pretty woman of course. But, as more time passed with Cloud, he found his eyes straying off and watching his mouth move as he spoke. He liked to watch as the corners of Cloud's mouth would rise as he said certain words, or how his bottom lip would retreat in between his teeth when he would nibble on it in concentration. Or how his tongue would dart out, moistening them with the honey of his mouth, coating them, causing them to glisten in the sunlight. They just begged for Zack to punish them for causing his eyes to stray in the first place. How he wanted to punish them...

But he did nothing of the sort as they lay there in another bout of silence.

Cloud moaned slightly as he shifted the shoulder of the arm that was still pinned against the warming leather of Zack's couch. It squeaked beneath him, drowning out yet another small moan from the blond as he shifted uncomfortably again.

Zack's heightened hearing picked up both moans, however, and the sound went straight between his legs.

"Zack?" Cloud said softly, throughout the still space between them.

"Yeah?" Zack slowly lowered his head, his eyes flickering back and forth on the lips that formed his name.

Breathing quickened, air became stifled, skin grew damp, and lips parted.

Heads lifted and lowered in unison, inching their way to the other in a silent scream of need.

The damn phone rang.

Breathing ceased, air became cold, skin dried up. Lips mouthed a four letter expletive.

"Here..." Zack released Cloud's reddened wrist from his hand and gave him the ice pack. "Shiva help you if that ice pack is not on your side by the time I hang the phone up. You _will_ regret it."

Cloud nodded with a look of terror on his face.

The couch squeaked as body weight was lifted from it.

And the phone stopped ringing when it was answered with an annoyed greeting.

"Oh, Kunsel. N-no, not botherin' me." Couldn't have been more of a lie.

Cloud lifted slowly on the couch, peering over the back of it and watching as Zack paced back and forth in his kitchen as he spoke to the 2nd. Cloud's face was ghostly white.

"Yeah," he said, nodding to the phone, "thanks for telling me earlier."

Eyes glanced up to the clock, he was still okay. It wasn't time to report back yet. He relaxed a little.

Zack stopped pacing, his back turned to Cloud and he spoke softly, secretively. "Yeah, he's okay. He went."

Cloud knew the phone call was about him, and he now knew that it was Kunsel who was Zack's little 'birdie' earlier mentioned. He lowered himself back down onto the couch, obediently still holding the ice against his bruised side.

His mind tugged over to not moments before. Had that been a look of lust in Zack's eyes? Cloud was so naïve over these sorts of things, but his heart began to pound in his chest as if confirming with a silent yell that, yes, it was what he thought it was.

A small smile swept across on Cloud's face, and he nestled himself down onto the couch with a content and pleased sigh. Maybe there could be something there, he hoped.

The sound of the phone snapping closed and the sound of the carpet swishing as Zack made his way back to the couch filled Cloud's ears.

The SOLDIER smiled down tenderly at Cloud who was still lying there holding the ice. "I see you've wised up." He sat down on the edge next to Cloud's hip, thankful that his erection was gone from the phone call. He decided it best not to try any more suggestive things for the rest of the night. He didn't want to scare the boy.

"Um..." Cloud shifted again, wincing slightly. "A-about...last night..."

Zack looked away. "Yeah, sorry about that."

"No...it's okay." Cloud sat up a little. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have...been imposing like that."

"Don't apologize to me, Cloud. You were just being a good friend."

Cloud nodded. "I was just...scared, is all."

"Scared?" Zack's attention went back to the young blond who held a painful look on his face, as if he were just informed of a death. "Why on Gaia would you be scared?"

"I thought...I lost you."

"What!?" Zack's mind was reeling and he stared down at the boy with nothing short of a bewildered expression.

Cloud shook his head, forming the phrase a bit better in his brain. "I-I mean I thought I did something to offend you, and I was worried that you didn't want to talk to me anymore."

That bewildered expression melted into a look of acceptance, and tender concern. "Spikey why would you think that?"

Cloud hated that nickname. He hated all nicknames.

"It was...awkward."

"And what I just did to you wasn't?"

Cloud turned his head towards the back of the couch, staring at the intricate creases in the leather. Zack could see his eyes trailing them along in thought. He replied with silence, but the ghost of a smile on his lips suggested that it wasn't so much as awkward, as it was strangely enjoyable. Those lips were moistened again  glistened, unpunished.

Zack's heart began to pound in his chest. Maybe there could be something there, he hoped.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

  


## ...To be continued in Chapter Four: Flinch.


	4. Flinch

~*~*~*~*~*~*~  


# Chapter Four: Flinch

  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~

  
He had watched Cloud fall asleep as they conversed quietly in the warm glow of the flickering television. That same silly sitcom from the previous night was on again, but neither laughed at it.

Zack smiled down at the boy who drifted off from a combination of exhaustion from the seven mile hump earlier, and the inebriating effects of the pain medication dispensed to him for his injury. And like the icing, Zack had to force Cloud to take the pain medication as well, but this was done in a slightly less suggestive and forwardly erotic way.

He sat there and stared at his innocent features as he snored softly on his back, his right arm cradling his chest out of a newly formed habit of the bruising. He stretched suddenly, letting a soft groan of displeasure escape his throat as his legs pressed against Zack's thigh on the other side.

Zack chuckled and scooped the boy's legs up from off the couch and gently lay them across his lap.

The boy responded with a content sigh.

And if it wasn't for one pressing question in his mind, Zack would have spent that time musing over his feelings about this young boy until the odd hours of the night.

How did he get that injury?

Kunsel had questioned him over the phone, stating that Cloud claimed he had hurt himself on their training mission the night before. But after many moments straining his memory of an instance where Cloud could have possibly sustained the injury during their battles, he couldn't even think of a single explanation for it. He sat there, pondering and frowning in thought.

So where the hell did it come from?

Zack was unconsciously rubbing the boy's socked feet with his hand. Cloud purred in his sleep, and it made him realize what he was doing with a jolt of his heart, and he stopped. The SOLDIER watched the boy as his eyebrows met in the middle of a formally peaceful face, and he groaned in protest from the sudden loss of pleasure rubbing throughout his sore extremities.

Zack resumed massaging his feet and that peaceful look returned to that angelic face. He was too sweet for his own good, and it drove Zack absolutely nuts.

Images of the strange and suggestive advances he made towards Cloud flooded his mind and he bit his bottom lip, a feeling of worry and dread washing over him. What was he doing, what was he thinking?

He couldn't even remember harboring these feelings for the boy. They just seemed to appear over night one day and hit him upside the head, stunning him, and then took a permanent residence in his jumbled heart, dictating his increasingly erratic behavior towards Cloud. It worried him, it thrilled him. He was in love with the possibility of being in love with Cloud. It was torturous, and he enjoyed every slowly changing minute of it.

He really hated musing and dwelling on things like this, as he normally was the type to just deal with these situations as they came to him. He wasn't the type to sit and think with patience, and this fact alone was driving him even more nuts than Cloud himself.

Should he just kill the buzz he was riding on and just confess his feelings for the boy? Did he really have feelings for him, or was it a false sense of love shrouded by a simple infatuation with his innocence?

Rejection weighed heavy on his mind.

Letting out a shaking sigh, he leaned his head back against the top of the couch and closed his eyes, still rubbing the boy in his hands. He wished he was rubbing something else on the both of them, instead of Cloud's feet.

 _Shit, not now. Don't think that._ He scolded himself.

 _'This absolutely sucks'_ , was the last thought as he drifted off into a mind numbing sleep.

 

~*~*~

  
Sheer panic, and uncontrollable shaking.

Frantic eyes darting at the clock in disbelief. Heart racing in a heaving chest.

It was three in the morning.

Cloud tugged his legs free from Zack's surprisingly firm grasp  even while sleeping  and he collected himself up off the couch.

Why was he shaking so bad?

The bottle of pain medication rattled in his pocket as he moved, reminding him of exactly why he hated taking prescriptions. Yet another newly developed department of Shin-Ra, the monopoly giant. It was a company that had the motto 'Anything you can do, I can do better, and more flashy, and more extravagant, and will kick your ass all over the place if you decide to oppose me'. What started as a weapons manufacture, turned militia, turned energy company, then turned pharmaceutical. Was there anything that Shin-Ra didn't do?

Cloud scrambled to his surprisingly comfortable feet as he searched frantically for his belongings. Throwing on his boots he flew out the door in the quietest way possible for being terrified to no end of his impending fate.

As he ran down the hall in a frantic blond blur, he didn't even notice the silver-haired hero walking past him calmly in the hall towards his own residence.

Cloud threw a haphazard salute to the SOLDIER as he ran past, and didn't even notice that it was Sephiroth, otherwise he would have screeched to a halt and stood staring in childish awe, despite it being three in the morning. He managed to slip into the elevator as it began closing its doors from the previous rider, and he was able to stop himself before he tumbled into the wall. The elevator painstakingly carried him down to the Infantry floor where each grueling ding of the bell drove farther into his nerves.

He was trying to catch his breath through the pain in his rib. The medication was finally wearing off, or it least if felt like it was. Maybe it was the adrenaline pumping through his veins that made him feel that way as he managed to at least get the trembling in his knees to stop. He preferred to feel the pain, as it informed him of his limits as he moved. Otherwise, being pain free and drugged up would allow him to exert himself and cause more damage if he was feeling falsely better.

Nervous legs carried him through the halls, and he slowed and quieted his pace as he came up to his barracks. He knew some of the men had trouble sleeping at night and there was probably select few that noticed he wasn't in his rack like he was supposed to be, but prayed that Mejia himself hadn't noticed. Sometimes the SOLDIERs who were assigned to watch the unit didn't actually sleep in the rack with them like they were supposed to. They snuck off and did their own thing and came back in the morning to wake everyone up in the most annoying and petrifying way.

A quivering hand reached up to the handle of the door and pressed the latch down with a thumb. But he watched quizzically as the door suddenly became further away, as he was hoisted back by the muffler of his uniform.

"Little fuck!"

He found himself moving through a haze of cigarette smoke before he was slammed up against the opposing wall of the barracks. His head cracked against the wall. Wild, confused eyes darted around as the blurry form of Mejia appeared in his vision. "S-sir!" Cloud's voice squeaked out, breathing panicked and unstable.

"And I suppose this cadet thinks he gets special treatment since he's so buddy-buddy with Zack Fair." His voice was sinister, mocking.

"Sir, n-no, sir!" He shook his head, forcing the trembling in his body to stop.

Cigarette smoke was blown into Cloud's pale face. "Little fuck, I see how you look at him," he said, his hands slowly reaching up to grasp his wrists. He roughly pulled them up from Cloud's sides and slammed them behind his blond head, pinning him.

Cloud swallowed heavily, eyes flickering against Mejia with uncertainty and fear.

Mejia's twisted face closed in on Cloud's, his voice lowering to a mere whisper. His breath was hot against Cloud's clammy skin. It smelled of gum and tobacco. "A little fuck like you doesn't deserve to be graced by such a great man."

Cloud gasped loudly as the man pressed his body up against his, crushing him with his weight. "S-stop..." He winced, his wrists painfully being squeezed by the muscles of the SOLDIER. Mejia's strength was unfathomable, his nerves and fibers in his body being enhanced by mako.

"A little fuck like you doesn't deserve to lust after Zack Fair."

"S-shut up!" His face was red with anger and embarrassment as he could feel the man's erection pressing against his crotch. He grinded him against the wall.

"What were you doin' there until three, huh?" He pulled Cloud's wrists back and then slammed them against the wall as he spoke. Mejia dipped his head down into the crook of Cloud's taut neck and ran his tongue across shivering flesh. "Little fuck, that's all you are." He murmured into him, his hips slowly thrusting into him.

"Shut the hell up!" Cloud yelled, writhing under the sickening touch of the 3rd.

"What the fuck did you just say to me?" Mejia lifted his head from nursing Cloud's neck with his tongue, his eyes coursing with anger.

"S-sir...please, s-stop," he said, and he was pleading now, realizing what he had just said, twice, to his superior. He bit his bottom lip in his teeth, his eyebrows arched in a pitiful look that released a perverted purr from the man pressed against him.

"Wanna know why I call you 'little fuck'?" He released Cloud's right wrist from his grip, and then struck Cloud across the face with the back of his hand. Cloud let out a restrained cry as his teeth tore through the lip he was biting down on as he was hit.

Crimson blood dripped down onto the floor and Cloud watched it in a dazed interest as it formed patterns of anguish across the tile.

Mejia grabbed Cloud's wrists again and spun him around. A forceful hand was pressed into his back between shaking shoulder blades as he once more slammed the boy against the wall face first.

Cloud uttered another small cry as he felt the man grinding against him once more.

"I wanted to fuck you the moment I saw you." He kept one hand pressed against Cloud's back as he struggled meekly beneath him.

Maybe the medication hadn't wore off like he thought it had as his body no longer had the strength to move. His energy was sapped.

The sound of a belt unbuckling filled Cloud's ears and he began to become frantic. Eyes widened, breathing was unreliable, muscles non-existent.

"If I can't have Zack Fair, then I can at least have his little fuck buddy, right?" A quick grunt and Cloud assumed he had released his erection from the confines of his trousers. A hand was now at Cloud's waist, sliding around his hips to the front of his pants. Fingers began to fumble for Cloud's belt.

"D-don't do this, p-please." Cloud could feel his warm blood slithering down his chin. He could see the red smeared across the wall in front of him through blurred eyes. He gasped as Mejia's hand slipped into his now unbuckled trousers and gripped him possessively, in a firm grasp.

It was the first time anyone had ever touched him. He felt like crying.

"You will let me fuck you, or I will tarnish Zack's reputation and ruin him. I can work the system." As he said this, he began stroking Cloud's member with a gloved hand. It was uncomfortable, painful and degrading. He began to detach his mind to the situation, trying to think of other things, anything but what was happening.

He thought of Zack.

A sick moan came from the man as he pressed his lips against Cloud's ear, flicking his tongue over his earlobe. "You're bigger than I thought you'd be."  
"Please stop..." He made a feeble attempt to tug away, but found himself being pressed against the wall again with unbelievable strength. The sound of the prescription in Cloud's pocket rattled and this caught Mejia's attention.

The hand was removed from Cloud's groin and shoved deep into his pocket. The bottle was removed and Cloud could hear the pop of the lid.

"You'll need to relax for this." A hand was brought around to Cloud's bleeding mouth holding three pills.

Cloud clamped down his jaw, resisting the fingers that scraped at his mouth and teeth. They pried their way in forcefully and flicked the pills inside. The hand quickly retracted and pressed down against Cloud's mouth as the other hand pressed against the back of his head, pinning him to the wall in front of him. He could feel the enzymes in his saliva breaking down the coating on the pills, and it filled his mouth with a revolting bitter taste. He gagged.

Mejia seemed to enjoy this reaction, waiting for Cloud to swallow the pills. "Swallow," he demanded.

Cloud tried to shake his head between the hands but he couldn't.

"Swallow!" His hands were squeezing his head tight, causing his vision to darken. "You better swallow it, little fuck, or I'll force you to swallow something else."

He managed to shake his head weakly, tears brimming at his frightened eyes. He hummed a protest before Mejia yanked his head back by his hair, and then slammed his forehead up against the wall with a disturbing crack of his skull. Pain erupted throughout his entire body. Cloud was seeing more blood mingling with darkness in his eyes. He swallowed instinctively.

"Good little fuck, ain'tcha?." The bottle was slipped back inside the pocket of his pants.

Cloud let out a delirious moan, his head lolling to the side as he felt his pants being tugged down in a sharp movement. They fell to his ankles as he could feel Mejia's hand grip his bottom firmly. Blood was seeping down his face, trailing along the contours of his eyelid and cheekbone. The quick sound of it dripping onto the floor vibrated in Cloud's ringing ears, enhancing each noise, focusing his slipping consciousness on it.

"Know how long I've wanted to grab this ass?" He chuckled nefariously, his finger trailing along the waistband of Cloud's boxers. "For as long as I've wanted to fuck it."

Muscles tightened, nerves heightened. The air was thick; it was suffocating.

Pain filled Cloud's head, he felt as if he were drowning in blood. His body began to become numb as the pills started to dissolve in his stomach and release the potent dose of medication slowly into his veins. His blood pressure plummeted, his breathing was coming out scarce and labored. His head was bobbing back and forth, trying to stay conscious through it all.

He couldn't hear the footsteps approaching them as Mejia was hissing words into his ear he could no longer understand. He murmured incoherent protests as his boxers were slowly being removed by the man. He could feel the man's erection sliding up against his rear slowly, hot, violating, shameful.

And then an unsettling sound of skin striking skin.

Cloud felt himself falling, but couldn't stop.

 

~*~*~

  
Shouting voices, chaos all around.

Darkness that wouldn't scurry away.

Pain that was relentless and hovered over him like a fog.

He could feel someone tapping his face with a shaking hand.

He could hear his name being called out to him through the darkness.

He pressed his face into the hand that touched him so gently.

He wanted to sleep.

So he did.

 

~*~*~

  
Why was there more shouting? He was trying to sleep.

"That fuckin' mother fuckin' prick! Fuck!! He'll get what's comin' to 'im!"

Why was Graves shouting when he was trying to sleep?

"Graves, quiet down. There are people trying to rest, here, yeah?" Ratcliff made a poor attempt in hushing the man, which only went ignored.

The sound reverberated in a hazy mind, causing the blood in his eardrums to vibrate. It began to rouse him from the sleep he so desperately wanted.

"Sir, can you please quiet down?" A female voice, unfamiliar.

Graves was growling angrily. The sound of his frenzied footsteps were pacing across the floor.

"I can't believe they didn't detain 'im in the brig for attempted rape!"

 _Rape_. The word caused Cloud to peel his eyes open, the sound of the heart monitor besides him becoming frantic in its insipid beeping.

It caused the men next to him to silence.

"Oh shit, he's awake," Graves said.

Cloud could feel a kind hand on his chest. "Hey, you with us, yeah?"

Words attempted to flow from a dry throat, but retreated away back into his lungs. His vision was shaky. He could make out three forms above him. One he didn't recognize.

The one he didn't recognize hurried over to him and flashed a light into his eyes and he tried to pull back. The nurse's gentle, but firm hand on his throbbing head stopped him from moving away. She finished up with the annoying light.

Cloud made an attempt to remove the tubes that were shoved into his nose, but that was also stopped by the same pair of hands.

"Cloud, please don't remove that."

He made another attempt to remove the tubes that were shoved into the top of his hand, but that was, yet again, stopped.

"Or those."

"Just do the nurse a favor and don't move, okay?" Graves said over him.

Cloud weakly obeyed.

"I'll send the doctor in, in a moment." She walked to the door and ushered Ratcliff over, suddenly lowering her voice to a whisper.

Cloud could make out what she was saying, however, and it caused the heart monitor to go into a frenzy once more.

"I'll send in the psychologist shortly, as well."

Psychologist? Why in the hell would he need one of those...

Mejia's voice resonated in his entire body.

 _Good little fuck, ain'tcha?_

Cloud let out a panicked whimper as his body suddenly jolted from its position on the infirmary bed. His movement caused several pieces of equipment he was hooked up to, to shift with a loud enough noise to get everyone to turn and rush over to him. Soon, three pairs of hands were pressing him down as he trashed about rabidly.

"Hey! Settle down, Cloud!" Graves was practically on top of him, which made Cloud panic even more.

"Get the fuck off of me!" he cried through an onslaught of whimpers, scrambling through their weight to sit upright.

They left him there once he began to calm, despite his shuddering. The I.V tubes were swaying from his arm, the wires from the heart monitor plastered to his heaving chest were tapping together in a frenzy. He suddenly felt like vomiting, and it must of showed as a bedpan was placed on his lap. Just the sight of it alone made him vomit, as if on cue.

"Good, good. Get that medication back up." The nurse was rubbing his back, holding the pan in front of him as he heaved into it. He coughed, the bitter taste from the pills flowing back into his mouth as he retched. Saliva dribbled from parted lips as short cries were uttered from a burning throat. The muscles in his stomach were taut, rigid. He felt like collapsing backwards, but the nurse steadied him with a skilled arm. A few more retches and he was empty.

"Nice job. That's what we were hoping for." She moved aside as Ratcliff appeared with a few tissues and he wiped Cloud's mouth for him, carefully patting the new stitches in his lip. The nurse disappeared with the bedpan, much to Cloud's relief, as the sight of it threatened him once more with vomiting.

Ratcliff sat on the bed next to Cloud's knees, and the closeness of the man made Cloud flinch, the heart monitor reflecting this on the screen. "Hey, no stomach pumping for you, yeah!"

Graves chuckled. "Yeah! They said that the amount wasn't lethal, but sure as hell would give ya a hang over if it didn't come back up."

Cloud sat there silently, his eyes half-lidded over dark circles.

Ratcliff's hand affectionately rubbed Cloud's knee through the knit blanket over him. They all remained silent, not knowing what to say, or just how bad Cloud was physically and mentally. It was like treading on egg shells, which Graves was especially not very good at doing. And that showed as he suddenly blurted out something that made Ratcliff smack his forehead in utter shock and shame. "That fucker's gonna pay for tryin' to rape ya like that."

"Goddammit Graves, just get outta here!" Ratcliff said, throwing his arm out as if to shoo him away.

Cloud was shaking uncontrollably again, his face draining of what little color it still held. His chin began to quiver as his eyebrows arched. He felt like screaming, knowing no other way to express himself, but he held it in, fear washing over him at the sight of the two doctors who entered. He just wanted to leave the place, to rip the I.V from his arm and hide somewhere  anywhere.

"Okay, welcome back Cloud," one of the doctors said rather impersonally. He flicked through several pages of chart that he held on the young boy and then tapped it against an open palm. "How're you feeling?"

Cloud didn't respond. Instead, he just stared down at his legs underneath the blanket.

"Nurse, can you get him to lie back down? He shouldn't be sitting upright yet," he said, and a nurse hurried in shortly after.

"Well Cloud," he said while the nurse urged him to lie back down, but to no effect. "You'll be staying with us for a few days to keep an eye on you. You did a little number to your head there." He motioned up to the stitches above Cloud's left brow where Mejia had cracked him against the wall the second time.

"Cloud, please lie down," the nurse said, making another pathetic attempt to push down on Cloud's rigid shoulders. He shrugged her off roughly and she retracted her hands, afraid to touch him as he sat there emotionless.

Ratcliff tried to urge him back down, but Cloud shoved him away with a frustrated whine as well.

"That's okay. He'll get tired and lay down on his own soon," the doctor said, rather blandly. The nurse left the room.

"I don't want to be here," Cloud whispered.

"Well, you don't have a choice. You need to be observed for several days."

"I don't want to be here," he said again, his voice rising in strength.

The doctor glanced over at his colleague, a rather pretty woman who was watching silently, studying him.

She walked over to him, her curly blonde hair bobbing around her shoulders as she approached. She spoke softly to him. "Is there someone you want here with you? Would that make you feel better?"

Cloud continued to stare down at his legs, his hands fiddling with the I.V in his arm, contemplating on if he wanted to rip it out or not.

"Zack Fair," Ratcliff said for the young boy.

The heart monitor voiced the skip in his pulse as the name was spoken.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

  


## ...To be continued in Chapter Five: Consensual.


	5. Consensual

~*~*~*~*~*~*~  


# Chapter: Five: Consensual

  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~

  
"What...the fuck?" was Zack's breathless and delirious reply.

Sephiroth stood in front of him outside of the Shin-Ra building wearing too calm an expression for the words he had just said to the stunned 1st.

Zack had been called out for an early mission as several rebelling Wutai spies were spotted on the outskirts of Midgar around five in the morning. The war was long over, but remnants of the enemy were scattered around the world, and Shin-Ra had to constantly deploy forces to stop them from their feeble attempts at infiltrating the city.

The silver-haired man repeated himself quietly, somewhat uncomfortable to pass the message along out in public, and having to say it more than once to the man who just wasn't processing this inside his head.

"And...you...his friends...stopped it?" Zack rambled. He felt lightheaded, confused, enraged all at the same time. His body was shaking with ire, shaking with uncertainty and disbelief at what was being spoken. Was this a sick joke?

Zack inspected the hero in front of him with questioning eyes, surveying each minute detail of the expression he held, picking apart each subtle movement of his eyebrows, each contortion of the muscles around his mouth as he spoke. He peered into him, observing the way his voice sounded with each word, taking note how he slightly lowered the volume of his voice when he said certain words like 'injured'; like 'assault'; words like 'attempted rape'.

The man's calm voice flowed from a stoic mouth that Zack continued to study as it moved. "I was returning to my quarters when the cadet ran past me as if the building were being attacked, so I decided to follow from the look on his face. Determining what floor he disappeared to slowed me down, however. After a lucky guess, that's when I found the 3rd...well..." He trailed off, scoffing slightly in disgust.

Zack was shifting back and forth on his feet, an anger flickering through his eyes that almost made Sephiroth nervous. Almost is a far way from actuality, however, and he remained his usual emotionless self before the young 1st.

"He...tried to....rape-"

"Yes." He cut him off as if to either stop him from saying the word, or to put a finality to the situation Zack just didn't seem to be fathoming.

A gloved hand was cupped over an agape mouth.

"But the 3rd is claiming that it was consensual," he continued mildly.

"How is busting open a lip and givin' the poor kid a head bashing consensual!?" Zack shouted and caused several people to turn who passed by.

"He claimed that the cadet was high on prescription drugs, having taken a fall on his own which resulted in the injuries. A significant dose of medication was found in his system with blood work to confirm this allegation."

"No one believes him though, right!?"

Sephiroth stayed silent for a moment, his face remaining emotionless, but his eyes conveyed what could have passed for compassion. "It's under investigation," was his only reply.

"Oh come on, Sephiroth! This is bullshit!" He was shouting once more. The citizens walking past scrambled away at his booming voice in fear.

"You can choose what you want to believe, Zack. But the truth will be evident in your friend's face."

He suddenly blinked at this statement, his raised shoulders lowering slowly as his thoughts drifted inside his brain. "My...friend..." he repeated quietly, his gaze flying up to Sephiroth with a look of utter shock. "Is that the real reason why you followed him?"

Sephiroth stayed quiet. Those eyebrows that Zack had studied lifted ever so finely on his still face, an act that only someone with a trained eye would catch. Zack knew from the years of working with him that that subtle movement was his way of sheepishly admitting to something, although it was a rare thing that he would do so.

Zack's shoulders sank in a sign of complete gratitude to the man who helped save his young friend. "Thank you, Sephiroth. I owe you one."

"You owe me nothing. I was merely concerned for the company as I was under the assumption that the place was under siege. You can thank your friend for being such a good actor to have me fooled. That's what saved him."

"He must've taken lessons from you, Seph. You are quite the bullshitter." Zack was making a poor attempt at a joke, and an even more poor attempt at calming the churning venom that flowed through each of his veins. He was about to paint the town red...with Mejia's blood.

Sephiroth closed his eyes as he turned his head, smirking a very mischievous and borderline sultry grin. "Yes, well. You should be off now. Don't you have someplace to be?"

"Yeah...t-thanks." Zack took a few steps back, pointing at the hero who continued to stand there silently. He mustered the best jaunty tone he could for simultaneously holding in a repressed scream. "You keep up on those acting lessons Sephiroth!" Zack turned on his heels and took off sprinting towards the Shin-Ra building, nearly knocking several bystanders over in the process.

Sephiroth scoffed a very short chuckle, shaking his head. Zack was a terrible actor, himself.

 

~*~*~

  
Tseng heard his name being called from twenty yards away, and through several layers of concrete walls as the voice, accompanied with frantic footsteps, got closer.

He finished signing some paperwork off to an assistant when Zack stumbled into his office, out of breath.

"Done with your mission already?"

"We need to talk," he said through gaping breaths.

Tseng dismissed the assistant and she passed by, giving Zack an interested look, which he so easily ignored.

"What do you want? Unless you're here to hand me the report you failed to turn in, then I'm not that interested."

"It wasn't consensual!" He blurted out, sweat rolling down his face. He had run up more than fifty flights of stairs, as the elevators were taking too long midday while people were heading out to lunch.

Tseng feigned shock over his random comment. He decided to respond with a bland and obvious joke. "I'm not interested in what your preferences are in your personal life." Of course, Tseng knew exactly what the SOLDIER was referring to.

"No, idiot!" Zack shook his head, squeezing his eyes shut, attempting to formulate his next sentence a bit more coherently.

"The incident is being investigated," he said coolly.

"That's not enough for me!" Zack threw out a hand to the side in annoyance. "Cloud would never do such a thing!"

Tseng peered at him, trying to pick apart Zack's overeager behavior at conversation. He just repeated himself. "The incident is being investigated. We're reviewing all the facts and tips, and even the surveillance footage. It will take some time to put everything together, so in the meantime, just..." He trailed off, frowning. "...just leave me alone and stay out of trouble."

Zack blinked at this, pulling his head back in surprise. His hand lowered to his side and it swung there, lifelessly. "That's...it?"

"Yes. Now get out of my office."

"So this guy walks free from all of this?"

"For the time being, until proven guilty, yes."

"I'll take care of him! Give me five minutes, and he'll be dead."

"You will do no such thing. I've assigned someone to watch him for the next few days and while he goes on an assignment during the investigation."

"This is bullshit and you know it, Tseng! Five minutes is all I ask for!"

Tseng let out a heavy sigh, his thumb and index finger pressing on either side of the bridge of his nose in frustration. The Turk walked over to Zack and peered over his shoulder, making clear that no one was around.

"Look, we had inside reports before this incident even occurred, accusing 3rd Class Mejia of a physical confrontation with Strife the day before in the barracks. This will help the investigation against him."

Zack relaxed, if only a little at this. "Was it Kunsel?"

"I can't tell you the name of the informants, you must understand." Wary eyes glanced to the doorway as someone passed by swiftly in the hallway. His voice lowered even more, down to a whisper. "They're not going to release Strife from the hospital until Mejia is deployed to his assignment. He'll be safe in there."

"So you do believe Cloud's a victim in all of this."

Tseng scoffed, shaking his head. "Look, just...get out of here. I have work to do, and you have somewhere to be."

Zack frowned at Tseng. "Thanks," he said flatly.

"Just let the Investigative Department handle this. And if I hear that you go near Mejia..." Tseng warned, his eyes narrowing, "You will be the one in the brig, do you understand me, Zack?"

"But-"

Tseng cut him off. "That is an order."

Zack threw up his arms in defeat, letting a very irked scoff flow from his very irked face. He simply shook his head as he exited Tseng's office, muttering something under his breath about the magic of 'five minutes' and how it would just solve everything.

 

~*~*~

  
The dark-haired SOLDIER paced across the hallway in front of Cloud's room anxiously. He stopped to peer inside the window in the door, watching as the blonde psychologist was talking quietly with the equally blond patient.

She was doing all of the talking, and he just sat there in the bed staring off mindlessly into the sheets over him. He didn't budge, didn't utter a noise, nothing.

Eventually, after twenty minutes of a one-sided conversation that Zack could see, she nodded to the impatient Zack that it was okay for him to enter.

Which he did, nearly kicking the door down in the process.

"Cloud!" he cried, rushing to the side of the bed.

The psychologist was just about to speak to Zack to inform him that he hadn't said a single word for the past two hours that she was with him, when she was stopped by a jubilant sounding Cloud greeting the young SOLDIER.

"Zack!" He looked so incredible at that moment and left the lady completely and utterly floored. He was practically jumping out of the bed, but stopped when several pieces of equipment began to follow him when only moments before he was still as a rock.

"I came as fast as I could, buddy!" He leaned down, attempting to ruffle the hair on Cloud's head, but the doctor pushed his hand away.

"Don't do that," she warned cautiously.

"S-sorry..." Zack mumbled and opted for a pat on Cloud's shoulder instead.

"Were you on a mission?" Cloud excitedly asked, the sunken eyes taking on a light that had been missing for the past day.

Zack's heart melted at the sweet look he held on his battered face and he resisted the urge to scoop him up in his arms and hold him tight. "Yeah." His face fell a bit and Cloud saw this, his face falling in response as well.

"I'm...sorry, Zack." He looked down at his lap again, his hands squeezing the blanket in his disappointed fists. "I hope you weren't worried."

"Hey, hey, hey..." He sat himself on the side of the bed and reached for Cloud. The psychologist was expecting Cloud to flinch like he had done with the others when they got too close, but he didn't. He welcomed the touch.

The lady jotted something down on Cloud's file.

"Don't apologize to me like that, Spikey. You've done nothing wrong."

Cloud swallowed hard, his voice cracking. "I feel like I have. I...wasn't strong enough to protect myself...I deserved-"

Zack gave a worried glance over to the lady next to him, who was again jotting something down. He cut Cloud off quickly. "No way, buddy! You've done nothing to deserve this, okay?" A gloved hand reached up and delicately placed it underneath a quivering chin. He lifted Cloud's head slowly, their eyes meeting. "I'm the one who should be apologizing. I should have..." Zack trailed off, frowning. _I should have protected you..._

Cloud began to shake his head violently in defiance, but stopped when he began to become dizzy. He started swaying in the bed, his bright eyes dulling from ailment. "N-no..." Was all he managed before he sunk back down to the bed below.

Zack pulled the blanket up on the boy, forcing a smile at him. "Just...get some rest for now, okay? I'm gonna-"

"No!" Cloud jolted up suddenly, and startled the two.

Zack pushed him back down gently. "I'm not going anywhere."

"S-sorry...it's okay. You don't have to stay..." Cloud laughed weakly at himself, trying to dismiss his delirious reaction.

"I'll stay for as long as you want me to, Spikey." He reassured him and this seemed to please the young boy as he nestled down into the pillow beneath his head. His eyes began to sink closed.

"Okay...maybe for...a little bit..." he muttered in a voice that almost sounded like a small child. This was followed by a heavy sigh before he fell asleep, or passed out, or a combination of the two as Zack couldn't tell.

Zack leaned back, after a moment of watching him, and slid off of the bed. "Well?" He looked to the lady, who stood as well from the chair she was seated in.

"He has all the classic signs of a rape victim. Anxiety, self blame, guilt. This was definitely not consensual."

"Um..." Zack rubbed the back of his neck, thinking on how to word the question he longed to ask for more than several reasons. "Just...uh...h-how far did....um..."

"Just molestation. There was no real penetration, he was saved in time. But this can easily be just as traumatic as if actual sodomy were involved, especially if the victim was a virgin."

Zack shuddered, forcing down the anger that began to well up in him once more. "That's sick! How could this happen to him!?"

"If you're going to be the one to watch over him for the next few weeks, I would suggest refraining from asking that very question around him. Victims of sexual assault oftentimes deal with two different types of self blame. One being behavioral self blame, and the other, being characterological self blame. Cloud is probably the latter."

"Which means...?" Zack was never one to understand this type of jargon.

"Which means he blames himself as a character, a person, for the bad things that happen to him. He is the type to believe that there is something inherently wrong with him, which therefore causes bad incidents to happen to him. In this case, the assault."

"So lemme get this straight. Cloud thinks that he was assaulted because there is something wrong with him, even though he had nothing to do with it other than Mejia being insane, and Cloud being in the wrong place at the wrong time?" Zack could hardly believe this.

"From watching him interact with you right now, I'm confident that this is true, yes." She removed her slim reading glasses from her face to reveal a pair of very stunning blue eyes. This normally would have caused Zack to slide over slyly asking for a phone number, but the only blond haired blue eyed person he was interested in lay softly murmuring on a bed beside him.

"So...what do I do?"

"Just be a friend. We'll be watching him for the next few days, analyzing his mental state before he's released. I'll work on some cognitive therapy with him to help him cope with what's happened and to get his mind straight again."

She lowered the chart against her waist and glanced over to the sleeping Cloud. "I was admittedly worried at first as he didn't say much of anything to me, but he opened up to you, so that puts a few of my fears to rest." She began to exit the room but stopped, placing a hand on the door before it was opened. "I can tell he is very fond of you, Mr. Fair." She smiled at him in an almost flirtatious manner before she stepped out of the room, leaving a confused, yet pleasantly surprised Zack standing there in excited awe.

 

~*~*~

  
After three days Cloud was finally released with nothing more than a few bits of paperwork and an appointment card telling him when he needed to be back to have the stitches removed. He was placed on light duty, clerical work, until his head injury had cleared after a week or so, and Zack was informed of signs he needed to look out for in case Cloud began to relapse into a depression. Cloud denied any medication that was offered to him.

But Zack was nervous as there had been literally no word in the investigation of the incident, and last he heard Mejia was still out wandering around, free as a bird.

Zack wanted to murder the man, but refrained, not wanting to wind up in the brig himself. He needed to behave, so he could make sure Cloud was safe until Mejia was imprisoned rightfully. Of course if Zack had 'accidently' bumped into him with the sharp end of his sword, then he couldn't really be blamed for anything, right?

He chewed his bottom lip worriedly, and this Cloud noticed.

"Zack? Everything okay?" He trotted alongside the SOLDIER who was snapped back into the present as his young voice reached his ears.

"Of course, little buddy!" He wrapped an arm around his shoulders as they walked down the hallway. "Let's get some good chow in you, okay? I bet you're sick of hospital food by now."

Cloud leaned into the warmth of Zack's touch, his eyes fluttering closed momentarily. "Yeah, a little..." he murmured, as if he were half asleep. Cloud could feel the vibrations of Zack's chuckle through his body.

"Well, let's get you back to my place for you to rest, then I'll see what I can scrounge up."

Cloud blushed a bit. "N-no, it's okay. I should head back to the barracks."

Zack grew silent and Cloud looked up at him as he now held a solemn look on his face. He reiterated firmly, his voice taking on a tone that Cloud had never heard him use before. It was protective, dominant, filled with worry. " _No_. You're going to come back to my place, _okay_?"

Cloud was unaware that Mejia was on duty at the barracks for the night. "O-okay." He was released from Zack's grip once he agreed.

"Am I going to get in trouble for not reporting back?"

"Nah, I gotcha covered." Tseng agreed to have some strings pulled after much whining on Zack's part. It was the least Tseng could do for Zack for forbidding him from murdering Mejia in five minutes.

They entered the elevator silently and the ding of the bell caused Cloud to wince with pain, the noise being a bit piercing for his sensitive state. And he found himself stumbling as the dizzying movement of the elevator cart jarred him once it began its ride through the shaft, and Cloud felt himself falling forward.

Zack caught him for the third time that week.

"I gotcha." He wrapped his arms instinctively around Cloud's shoulders, bringing the frail body close to his. Cloud seemed to struggle against him a bit, as if he were trying to stand on his own, but failed miserably. "I got you..." he cooed again softly into the blond hair that was brushing up against his chin.

Cloud no longer fought back as he hadn't the strength to, and he was enjoying being in Zack's arms.

They stood in silence as the cart moved up through the shaft as if in slow motion.

The moment was lasting forever, and Zack was hoping that it wouldn't be interrupted by another passenger loading in as this would probably be a very awkward scene.

Cloud was suddenly moaning against Zack's chest, but it was not a moan filled with pleasure, and this caught the SOLDIER's attention very quickly.

"Are you...gonna...."

"I think so..." He was convulsing against him, trying his hardest not to vomit against the SOLDIER who continued to stubbornly hold onto him even though he knew he might be in direct line of fire of the queasy boy in his arms.

Cloud's usual motion sickness aside, concussions weren't exactly the innocent factor in this onslaught of nausea either.

And the gagging boy against him aside, this was still an exciting moment for the SOLDIER who held onto him so tenderly throughout the elevator ride, even as Cloud vomited against his last clean uniform.

It was going to be a great day doing laundry.

 

~*~*~

  
"One count of molestation. One count of lewd conduct. Three counts of physical assault." A man in a business suit from behind a desk lowered a file he was holding down onto the desktop. "If you plead guilty I can see if we can get you a more lenient punishment. Maybe six months in the brig, a demotion."

"That's it?" Mejia scoffed sarcastically, the arms that were folded across his chest dropped down to his sides in defeat. "After all that money I offered?"

"You're lucky you're walking free right now, despite the money! After all the evidence flowed in, I'm surprised you're not already in the brig."

"Evidence?"

"We received several reports from individuals accusing you of physical assault on the cadet from a day prior to this incident, and a medical report from the infirmary confirms this. The surveillance footage doesn't lie, either. There's no way around this. You can finish up your assigned mission, but by the end of the week you'll be in the brig. I'll see what I can do to lower your sentence."

"I can give you more money. Whatever will get me out of the brig."

The man just lifted an eyebrow at him, perturbed. "Look, it's going to take more than a bribe to save you this time. I'll do what I can. But the evidence is mounting fairly high."

"Who ratted me out?"

"That, I can't say."

Mejia just left the man's office with a twitching scowl across his face. He hunted for Elici.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

  


## ...To be continued in Chapter Six: Apologize to No One.


	6. Apologize to No One

~*~*~*~*~*~*~  


# Chapter Six: Apologize to No One

  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Laughter was flowing from the SOLDIER 1st Class' quarters, filling the empty hall of the SOLDIER floor with its lyrical sound.

Several enticing snaps of carbonation being released with a hiss were heard as soda and beer cans were opened, followed by more laughter. The small television was still on, but was being ignored by the four men and one boy who all sat on the couch andwell, Graves on the coffee table. Graves was going on and on about some woman from the front lobby and how particularly round her ass was in a skirt, while Elici snickered, Ratcliff had a hand over his face in shame, Zack laughed with him, and Cloud just sat there smiling politely.

Zack glanced nervously over to Cloud as Graves went on blindly about the woman's backside, but it didn't seem to bother Cloud, who reached forward and accidently grabbed Zack's beer absentmindedly.

"Whoa!" Zack grabbed it from him before it could reach his young lips. "That's not for a minor."

Cloud mumbled an apology.

"Wait, aren't you under the drinking age, sir?" Elici tilted his head at Zack who gave a perturbed looking scowl.

"Aren't you too old to be calling me sir?"

Everyone laughed at this, including Cloud. His laugh was a pleasing sound that filled everyone's ears, which made them laugh even harder, but more from relief to see that he seemed a little better by their company.

"I'm sorry, sir, I have to address you respectfully, even though I'm older."

"Yer so by the book, man! Loosen up!" Graves guzzled down the alcohol faster than everyone could blink.

"Yeah, just call me Zack, okay?"

"Sorry, sir."

Zack hung his head, sighing heavily.

"Even shy ol' Ratcliff calls 'im Zack!" Graves pointed out and Ratcliff nodded.

"That's what he wants, yeah?" Ratcliff leaned forward and grabbed Cloud's soda for him before he could do it. Cloud seemed a little annoyed by that, but accepted the help from his friend.

"Well, I like to do things the way they're intended." Elici shrugged his shoulders, sipping on his drink. "I do what's asked of me by this company and execute it to the best of my abilities."

"But if Zack is a representative of the company, and he's askin' ya ta call 'im by his first name, and ya don't, isn't that disobeyin' Shin-Ra essentially?" Graves pointed a finger out from being wrapped around his beer can as Elici's face looked distraught over this logic, and especially this logic coming from someone like Graves.

"You know it's just easier to tell you to shut up, Graves," Elici stated simply.

More raucous laughter.

This was true of Elici, however. He was a man connected to a dying sense of duty. If it was a reasonable request that fell into what was asked of him being Shin-Ra infantry, he would execute the order without question, without hesitation. Of course, if he was ordered to do something outlandish, unjustified and against regulations, he'd tell the person to fuck off and abandon his loyalty to the company very quickly. His morals were strong, and he had a family to think about back home in the Sector 7 slums, and his family to think about here in Shin-Ra.

That's how he saw everyone in his unit - as a family. And when someone messed with a member of his family, those morals and sense of duty were kicked in. He liked to do what was right, and with the proper conduct and protocol of course.

"Ya ever drink before, Strife?" Graves asked the blond boy, who just pointed a finger at himself.

"Me?"

"Duh, yer the only Strife here, ass."

"N-no." Cloud shot Zack, who was sitting next to him on the arm of the couch, a worried look, as if checking for his approval of the conversation. Zack just smiled at him warmly. "I haven't."

"Yer pretty fuckin' innocent, ain'tcha?"

This comment made Cloud flinch in his seat, the color draining from his already pale face. He felt like bolting from the couch at that moment as his breathing quickened and everyone seemed to catch on to this reaction but silly old Graves.

Elici kicked Graves' shin from across the couch. He finally got it.

Cloud was unconsciously squeezing his own hands tightly, unaware that he was nibbling on the stitches in his lip. Zack reached up and brushed a hand along Cloud's mouth gently. "Don't do that, buddy."

Cloud flinched again and made Zack retract his hand, worried. "D-don't..." he murmured, his eyes seeming far away. "D-don't touch me, please..."

Zack slipped off the arm of the couch and squatted down next to Cloud, who looked as if his thoughts were spiraling inward. "Cloud?"

"Hm?" He blinked as Zack spoke, his eyes bright again, his face soft. "What's up?"

Zack was peering at him questioningly. His hand reached up to touch him, but stopped. "Do you need to go lie down? You've only been out of the hospital for a few hours now..."

"Lie down? Why? That'd be rude to everyone here," Cloud said, so innocently, so oblivious to the fact that he had been relapsing into his personal nightmare from several nights before.

Everyone let out heavy sighs at this.

"Never mind." Zack chuckled, patting him on the shoulder. He relaxed as Cloud accepted the patting without a single look of fear or flinching.

"Welp," Elici stood, smoothing out his uniform trousers, "I better head back to the barracks. I have an early mission tomorrow."

"Really?" Cloud looked up at him. "Where are you going?"

"Eh, some guard duty somewhere for a couple of days. Don't worry 'bout it." Elici smiled down at him with that fatherly grin of his. Elici was so secretive sounding at times, and it drove everyone nuts. "I'll come say good-bye in the morning. You're going to be working in one of the Administrative offices tomorrow, right?"

Cloud nodded, not really looking forward to clerical work.

"I'll stop in before I head out." He nodded to everyone an informal goodbye, but shot Zack a salute before he left that made everyone groan in annoyance.

"Dammit, 'By-the-Book-Elici' 'till the end!" Graves shouted after him as he closed the door.

 

~*~*~

  
The other two had left about an hour later, dangerously close to being late for reporting back into the barracks. They noticed how Cloud kept on glancing up to the clock, and how increasingly nervous he became as the minute hand dawdled up to the top of the clock. He didn't want them to meet the same fate he did the night he was late.

So they left when Cloud broke out into a sweat when the hour hand was on the nine, and the minute hand was five minutes away from the twelve.

Cloud relaxed a bit, practically melting into the leather couch as Zack picked up the scattered graveyard of beer cans, and Cloud's half-empty soda can.

The SOLDIER glanced up to Cloud with a soft chuckle. "Don't worry, they'll make it in time."

Cloud nodded profusely. He was bouncing a leg.

"Stop." Zack reached out and put a gentle hand on his knee. "There's no need for the jitters anymore."

"S-sorry."

A heavy sigh. "There's no need for apologies anymore."

"Sor-"

"Ah!" Zack reached a hand out to shush him and Cloud obeyed, shutting his mouth.

Zack sat down next to Cloud, shifting his body so he could face him on the couch. "Listen, Cloud." He scooted close, and Cloud could feel his body heat against him.

Cloud turned his head slowly, sad eyes meeting kind ones.

Zack tilted his head off to the side, thinking for a moment. The sound of a short breath being released from his nose cut through the stillness in the room, making Cloud grow increasingly nervous.

Zack finally spoke. " _You_ apologize to no one." His voice was quiet, firm.

Cloud's breath in his chest hitched. Confused eyes flickered back and forth on serious, confident ones.

"And especially to me. Don't you ever apologize to me for _anything_."

"Zack..." was all he could think of saying.

"Do you understand me?"

And a nod was all he could think of doing.

And all Zack could think of doing was pulling him close and embracing him affectionately.

But they just sat there in the now quiet apartment, staring at each other in the light of the television. They had learned their lesson from the past few times. The sitcom was no longer on, and was now changed to a boring news show. It was still ignored, however.

 

~*~*~

  
After cleaning up, Zack disappeared into his room for a few moments, leaving Cloud alone in the living room.

Cloud drew his knees up onto the couch, wrapping his arms around himself in the cold space. His eyes became half-lidded as he squeezed himself hard in his arms. He didn't like to feel alone like this, even though Zack was only a few yards away.

Was it normal to feel this way?

The psychologist had probably said it was, but he hadn't listened to her much anyway. Now he wished he'd tuned in on her blathering enough to at least be able to relate what he was feeling to the textbook crap she had been spouting off.

Cloud didn't notice that Zack had been speaking to him from inside his room, and when the SOLDIER received no response, he was looming behind the young one with an aura of worry and annoyance.

Annoyance only because of the fetal position Cloud had curled himself up in, sitting upright on the couch.

"Hey."

No response.

"Didja hear me, buddy? I said the bed is ready for you."

"What?"

Zack frowned sympathetically as he walked around the couch to Cloud's side. "C'mon," he urged, slowly reaching down and attempting to uncurl the boy from the position he was in.

"Where...are you going to sleep?"

Zack's hands stopped, a rather large noise coming from his throat as he swallowed heavily. "Y-you're sitting on it."

"Oh," was his bland reply. After a moment of silence and stillness between them, Cloud mumbled, "I can sleep here."

"I don't think so. There's only room for one person on this couch, and that's me." A short laugh from the SOLDIER. "C'mon, let's get you up."

"No, no. This is fine..." A meek protest, and an even meeker attempt to lay down on it, as if claiming the spot for his own.

Zack took on that commanding tone again, which made Cloud practically crawl out of his skin. "Bed. _Now_." His eyes followed the boy, who begrudgingly scooped himself up off the couch with a momentary wobble, and then began to shuffle over to Zack's bedroom with a look of disdain.

"I should just go back to the barracks, I don't want to impose-" He began to turn back around, but found himself staring into Zack's chest.

Zack was right in his instinct to follow him, mistrusting the boy to obey him fully. It was actually a bit of relief that Cloud would stubbornly protest; a sign that he hadn't lost himself entirely in the incident. Zack's biggest fear was that Cloud would turn into a mindless 'yes-man' to avoid any more confrontation from anyone.

"Cloud." Zack's voice came out pleading. "Please just do what I ask for now, okay? It's for your own good."

"Why can't I go back to the barracks, Zack?" His young eyes were looking up at him as if he were a puppy begging for food. "What aren't you telling me?"

Zack looked away towards the bathroom and stared into the dark room, trying to focus his attention on anything but the sweet boy in front of him who longed for answers to Zack's sudden ambiguity.

"Zack?" Cloud asked again, taking a close step forward. He was inches away and it made Zack very nervous.

"Cloud, just...stop. Stop asking questions and just go to sleep, okay?" His voice came out a bit more annoyed than he intended and this caught the young boy by surprise.

Cloud recoiled, his eyebrows arching in a very hurt expression, but Zack didn't see this as he was still staring away. "I-I..." A shaking hand was brought to his chest in a fist. "O-okay...I didn't mean to u-upset you..." His voice trailed off into a whisper as he took a step back.

Zack's shoulders fell, followed by his head. "Oh shit, I'm sorry Cloud. I should be the one to say that." He finally looked at the boy, and then looked away as the expression he held was too painful to view.

"I'm...gonna go. I've been imposing," Cloud whispered again, stepping to the side to walk around Zack.

"Cloud..."

"Goodnight Zack, and thank you."

Zack let him step around him as Cloud headed to the door to put on his boots.

"Mejia's on duty right now." There, he said it.

Cloud stopped cold in his tracks, the room beginning to spin around him. "W-what?" He turned, swaying on his feet.

"He's...still..." Zack turned around, his eyes trailing up the boy.

"O-oh..." Cloud cut him off with a weak exclamation of surprise. He was _really_ swaying now. And this precarious wobbling of the blond's caused Zack to have an excuse to reach out and hold onto him, albeit it was a concerned grip and not the tender embrace Zack longed for. A touch was a touch, after all.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I thought it would be best for you not to know for now, until the investigation was completed." Zack stepped into the boy, unconsciously running his hands across Cloud's forearms. He realized what he was doing, and abruptly stopped at his shoulders.

"I...uh..." His eyes began to flutter erratically.

"Bedtime?" Zack offered, as the look on Cloud's face screamed he was about to pass out.

He nodded, stumbling around the SOLDIER willingly. He could feel Zack's warm hand on his back as he was led into the dimly lit room in a haze.

He saw nothing else but the full sized bed wrapped in heavenly white sheets. It looked so enticing in his muddled state and he so longingly crawled on top of it, feeling his mind tugging into a wavering sense of unconsciousness.

"You don't want to change out of your uniform?"

A soft groan was a reply as Cloud lay down dizzily on his stomach.

Zack smirked at this, watching as Cloud slipped his arms underneath one of Zack's pillows comfortably. _Wow, he sure knows how to make himself at home._

"Hey wait, you can't lay on your stomach."

Another groan as a rebuttal.

"On your back, now."

"Why?" Cloud's voice was muffled in the down pillow.

"Might have something to do with the swelling in your head."

"I'm fine."

"Okay, okay. But if you wake up with a migraine, don't come cryin' to me."

Cloud flipped over slowly onto his back, staring up at the ceiling. He scratched at the stitches in his forehead. They were probably itching like hell as they healed.

"Good boy." He smiled kindly down at him, and Cloud frowned.

"You're so annoying."

Zack laughed at this as he reached down and threw the pillowy blanket across Cloud impersonally, not wanting to be tempted into tucking him in with a kiss. Cloud looked so comfortable at the moment and Zack seriously considered hopping in there with him as he nestled into the pillow. So enticing...

But Zack refrained with a dry laugh and walked towards the door. "I'll be out here if you need me, buddy." He flicked the light off and closed the door partially, then rolled his eyes as he watched through the crack in the door as Cloud flipped back over onto his stomach tenaciously.

 _Stubborn kid._

He flopped down onto the couch and flipped through a few stations on the television, but the sound wasn't on. Zack just wanted the light to shine through into his room to keep a better eye on Cloud if he needed. He lay back, his arm folded under his head, peering over the arm of the couch and watching the blond briefly.

He could hear a few fussy moans coming from the boy, but then silence after a several minutes of idle stirring.

Zack sighed heavily then, allowing his eyes to close. Normally he would slip in some unwanted musing over certain things before sleep, but this night it was put on the back burner. He fell asleep very quickly.

 

~*~*~

  
The sound of delirious whimpers cut through the silent space of Zack's subconscious and it roused him quicker than any other sound would at that moment. Even sleeping out in the field on missions, sounds of the enemy wouldn't have woken him as quick as this sound did, as it was pitiful and alarming. It was familiar.

He was up on his feet faster than his eyes could even open and when they did, he found himself already at his bedroom door with his hand on the handle.

Damn, he worked quick.

He pushed the door open with a slight squeak of the rude hinge and peered inside.

Cloud was on his side in a fetal position. The blankets had fallen off onto the floor beside him. The sound of the hinge caused him to stir and wrap his arms around his chest with a groan of disapproval at the noise.

Zack stepped inside, observing as he twitched his head into the pillow, murmuring to himself. He managed to curl into himself even more as Zack got closer.

"Cloud?" he whispered, peering down at him, trying to determine if he was awake. He was asleep, unfortunately, as he seemed to be reacting to a nightmare playing across his slumber. More whimpers from the boy, followed by heavy breathing.

"Hey, Spikey." He sat down on the bed next to him, and this caused Cloud to scoot closer to him for comfort. He reached down and set a hand gingerly on a shaking shoulder.

Cloud muttered some protests, probably replaying the other night in his head as he thrashed weakly against the bed and under Zack's touch. The psychologist had warned Zack of nightmares, as they were normal reactions to traumatic events. Zack knew this all too well. Angeal's death crawled into his memory and he shuddered.

"Hey, buddy." He tried again to rouse him, rubbing his shoulder tenderly, trying not to scare him awake. He watched as Cloud reacted to this touch with more shaking, more discomfort. Whimper after whimper escaped his throat as he shook his head weakly into the pillow, muttering sleepy cries of protest and denial. Zack couldn't take it anymore.

"Cloud!"

Cloud shot his eyes open with a small gasp of air as he fumbled up into a sitting position. He jerked his body up, slamming himself up against the headboard with a few cries of confusion as the last of his nightmare tapered off into the dark room.

Zack went to reach for the boy, but he scurried back even farther, pressing himself against the bed, kicking his legs as if trying to scramble away.

"S-shit..." he breathed, blinking hard several times. "Zack."

"Yeah, it's me."

A bottom lip began to quiver in fright. "I-I thought..."

"It's okay," he reassured him. "It was just a dream."

"Y-yeah..." Cloud ran a hand quickly through his hair, his eyes darting about uncertainly. "A dream..."

"Go back to sleep, bud." Zack began to stand up to obey his own order for himself, but Cloud's frantic voice stopped him.

"Don't leave me."

Zack turned his head back to the boy, a confused look on his face. "I'm not going anywhere, Cloud. I'll just be in the other-"

"Don't leave!" Cloud yelled, his voice cracking with fear.

"Look, you really need to get some rest. Are you running a fever?" Zack went to touch his forehead but his hand was smacked away.

"Please!" Scared eyes stared at the SOLDIER hopefully.

"Okay, okay." Zack motioned for Cloud to lay back down, but he didn't move. Sighing, Zack realized what he wanted and he crawled across the foot of the bed to the other side, sitting next to him. "You know it's gonna be a long night like this," he said jokingly.

They both leaned up against the headboard, their heads tilted back and staring up at the ceiling together.

"I...don't feel right," Cloud said finally, after several long moments of awkward silence.

"Well yeah, that's expected after what happened."

"No..."

"You gonna puke again?"

"No."

They fell silent.

Zack scoffed a short laugh, his head slowly lowering from the wall. He turned his gaze over to Cloud, who simultaneously was doing the same thing in the dark. The television from the other room cast intricate shadows on their faces through the crack in the door.

They both looked at each other, their expressions filled with trepidation, confusion, fear.

"I...feel the same way," Zack replied simply.

They both turned their heads back in unison to the wall and spent the next several hours together sitting in an uncomfortable yet pleasant silence as the sun began to rise.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

  


## ...To be continued in Chapter Seven: By the Book.


	7. By the Book

~*~*~*~*~*~*~  


# Chapter Seven: By The Book

  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~

  
"Hey kid! How you doin' this morning?" Elici stepped into one of the numerous Administration offices held in the large building with a seabag slung over his shoulder. He set the large pack down on the ground outside in the hallway before he entered fully, and then stopped short, repressing a laugh as he watched a lady from the office scolding Cloud, who seemed to have stapled his leather glove to a stack of reports that were meant to be filed ten minutes prior.

"Cloud," she cooed firmly at him, sweet yet authoritative. Like a mother would. "This might be easier if you removed your gloves you silly boy."

He was fighting back the blood in his cheeks as she nursed the stapler off of his article of clothing. "S-sorry," he mumbled.

"It's okay," she reassured. "The cost of the staples will just come out of your paycheck." Then she laughed at him when he held a face that seemed to actually believe her. "You're so helpless." She sighed once she had successfully removed the remaining staples from his glove. "Did you nick your hand?"

"No," he said sheepishly, scooping up the papers in his hands before turning towards the door. "Elici!" He smiled weakly under a pair of tired eyes. "Heading out?"

Elici frowned at the weary looking boy, but said nothing to remind him of his outward appearance. Rumors had begun to spread through the building like wildfire, and soon everyone had heard of Cloud's embarrassing and traumatic experience from several nights before. Most people seemed to be on the blond's side and he had already gotten numerous people, mostly women, clamoring to him whom he didn't even know, asking him if he needed anything, or any help. He was uncomfortable in his skin enough already, and the attention he was accumulating from sympathetic women around the offices wasn't helping his already shy demeanor any.

"Mind if I steal him for a few, Miss?" he asked the lady and she nodded, dismissing the young Cloud with a wave of her hand.

"He's slowing me down anyway. He's good eye candy, but not much help elsewhere." She shot the boy a wink as he uncomfortably frowned, following Elici out into the hallways.

"Hah, I knew you'd always be a lady killer," Elici joked, placing his free arm around Cloud's shoulders instinctively.

He flinched, and Elici immediately released him.

"Sorry."

Cloud shook his head, fighting off the impending jitters that threatened to surface. "It's cool," he forced out. This was Elici; he'd never do anything to hurt him or make him sad in any way. He was the calm one of the group, the level-headed one. The pillar of inner strength that the rest of the unit looked up to as a guiding light.

They walked to a lounge area off of the main lobby of the floor and they took seats across from each other in a set of rather stiff chairs. It reminded them of the chairs in the waiting room of the infirmary.

"You won't have to worry about Mejia for a few days, Cloud," he said bluntly.

Cloud looked up, his lips twinging slightly at this statement. He forced himself to smile. "That's good."

"We've been ordered out to the Northern Crater."

That smile disappeared. "What...?" Elici could see Cloud's adam's apple bob as he swallowed hard with nothing short of fear plastered on his face.

"He's been assigned to relieve a few men out there for a week. He was told he needed to take two people with him, so he picked me and another from the unit. Evans, I think."

"Why would he pick you?"

Elici just simply shrugged, frowning thoughtfully. "Probably because he was forced to, I'm assuming. I am known to keep a watchful eye on everyone. Who else better to keep an eye on a crazed madman?"

"How about a SOLDIER or Turk?" Cloud's voice was beginning to strengthen, much to Elici's surprise. "Isn't that their job!? Why do they have to send you there!?"

A few people glanced over at the two as Elici hushed the angered boy.

"Now, now. Calm down kid." He was suddenly smiling, very, very widely, with a sparkle in his eye which made Cloud recoil his head in confusion. "I was waiting to tell you all this for when I got back, but I'll let you in on a little secret, my friend." He motioned Cloud to scoot closer in his seat and he obeyed, sitting practically on the edge.

"I've been promoted."

"O-oh," was Cloud's reaction.

Elici didn't expect much else, as everyone knew that it was Cloud's dream to be a SOLDIER, having failed one attempt at joining already in the past. "Sorry I didn't say anything beforehand, but I just recently found out not a day ago."

"When did they hold tryouts?"

He frowned, feeling very guilty all of a sudden. "While...you were in the hospital."

"Great," he said flatly.

He was so amusing, such a child still, that it made Elici think of his own young son back in the slums. "Hey now, don't be all pissy. You'll get your chance."

And that forced smile was back on his face. "Yeah, sorry. Congrats, Elici."

"Hey! That's 3rd Class SOLDIER Elici to you now, grunt." He reached out and ruffled Cloud's hair lightly, careful not to jar his healing head too much. "Well, technically I'm not SOLDIER just yet. I have to wait until I get back to receive the official title, and the broadsword of course."

"Graves is gonna be so damn pissed," Cloud said once the ruffling had ceased. Everyone just seemed to love doing that to him, and frankly he didn't like it. But he wasn't about to stop people from acknowledging their affection towards him in that way, even if it was annoying. His friends were too few and far between to let something as friendly hair ruffling stop him from taking what he could get from them.

"Yeah, don't tell him yet, okay? I wanna see the angry look on that face of his when I smear it all across him after the ceremony." A surprisingly evil cackle flowed from the usually serious man and it made Cloud laugh genuinely.

Elici seemed to enjoy seeing Cloud laugh like that, and he smiled back at him warmly, brotherly. "So you can relax while I'm gone with that ass, okay?"

Cloud gave a quick nod with a smile. "Yeah, don't worry about me."

Elici frowned then and it made Cloud frown in return. "I do, though."

They became quiet, and Cloud shifted nervously in his seat. A wave of guilt washed over him, and he started to hate himself for causing his friends to constantly worry and care over him. He should be strong enough to handle himself on his own just like everyone else.

"Elici?" Cloud's voice suddenly came out soft, barely there.

"Yeah?"

"Did...you tell anyone about what Mejia did to me in the barracks?"

Another silence hazed over the two. People walked past casually, some of them laughing with each other, some of them hurriedly scurrying by in their busy life.

Blue eyes met green, a young boy met a man in an intense stare.

"Of course I did," he simply said.

'By-the-Book-Elici' until the end, of course.

 

~*~*~

  
Five days passed by since Elici had been shipped out with Mejia to the Northern Crater. Cloud was nervous going back to Zack's apartment after his behavior with him that night, so he avoided him thoroughly, spending the next few nights in the Mejia-less barracks.

At first he was even more nervous to return there, in fear of ridicule, in fear of rejection. Some people seemed to be respectful towards him, and maybe even a little bit welcoming of him once he finally gained up the courage to enter again. Although some men decided to be asses and jokingly place their phone number on Cloud's bed with "Call me" written in suggestive handwriting on cologne soaked paper. Those Ratcliff and Graves hurriedly collected before Cloud could find them.

Of course most of the men, even if they wanted to tease Cloud about it, were scared shitless over Graves and the possibility that he would maim them beyond recognition if they were to be caught.

It was a bit lonely at times as everyone was out on missions or humps, and he was left behind due to his injury. It was driving him crazy being left alone after five p.m. in the barracks once the offices began to shut down and there was no more work left for him to do. He occupied himself by staring up at Ratcliff's bunk above his most of the time, or drifting in and out of naps.

Zack had stopped by once to check in on him a few days prior, but couldn't stay as he was heading out for his own mission that would last for a night. Their encounter was awkward between them, but they both tried their best to act as if everything was normal.

It was far from normal.

" _I...don't feel right._ " His own voice reverberated in his mind as he lay on his bunk, staring up at the bars and springs above his head.

He turned on his side, curling up, mentally kicking himself for blurting out such a strange phrase. He wasn't even sure what he meant by saying that, but somehow Zack knew what he was talking about and agreed that he felt the same way.

Cloud let out a longing sigh, his mind drifting to Zack. He really missed spending time with him, and it was torturous. But he felt so ashamed for his behavior while in Zack's care that he couldn't even fathom showing up at his place as if nothing had happened. He acted so distracted, so helpless and invalid. It was embarrassing. Never had he let anyone see him act so oddly before.

But never had he been molested and almost raped by someone before either. He felt demoralized, emasculated.

He really didn't feel right.

Maybe that's what he meant...

 _Yeah right._

Cloud stuffed his head under his pillow with an embarrassed-for-himself groan. He didn't notice the sound of the double doors opening and his fellow unit piling in after some training in Materia usage.

That was one thing he always excelled in compared to the rest of his peers. His magical abilities surpassed most of the men around him, as he could manage to cast high level spells without so much as sweating or panting. The others barely managed simple spells like Fire and Thunder without claiming that it was bullshit in frustration. Most would rather just shoot off their assault rifles and mouths than use their minds and harness the useful power of Materia.

A few loud men yelling nearby startled Cloud from his musing and he sat up, peeling the pillow from off his head, messing his already wild hair up even more.

A warm chuckle and Ratcliff sat down on the bed across from Cloud. It was Elici's. "Hard at work, yeah?"

Cloud brought his knees up to his chest, wrapping his arms around them and stared off at the tables on the other side of the room where several men were already making themselves comfortable with a game of poker. "Not really."

"That was sarcasm, yeah."

"I know."

Ratcliff frowned briefly, which he didn't like to do much, so he turned it into a friendly grin, reaching out and patting Cloud on the shoulder. "Wanna go see what Zack's up to? I think he's back from his mission, yeah?"

"Not really," he replied again.

Ratcliff removed his issued helmet and tossed it up onto his bunk above Cloud's with a practiced ease. "Something happen between you two, yeah?"

"Not...really."

"Bullshit." A voice from behind Ratcliff and Graves emerged, removing his helmet and shaking a head of short, wiry black hair. "Ya've been avoidin' him."

"Have not." Cloud pouted in this meek defense.

"Whatever ya say, man." He clambered up the metal ladder to his bunk above Elici's and flopped down on it with a content sigh. "Weather out there's a bitch, man. Cold as fuck. Be thankful yer inside, Cloud."

Cloud just ignored him, pulling his knees a bit closer to his body. The cold never bothered him anyway, being from Nibelheim. He thought of Zack being out in the cold, having grown up in the humid tropics of Gongaga. He wondered how he was holding up in the rainy weather outside, but then realized he had no idea where his mission had sent him to. Maybe he had been out in Costa Del Sol for all he knew.

And then he thought of Elici at the Northern Crater. That was a cold blizzard that would even cause Cloud's Nibelheim blood to freeze over. He shuddered at the mere thought.

"Has...anyone heard from Elici?" Cloud suddenly asked, lifting his head from off his knees. He looked at Ratcliff who just shrugged nonchalantly.

"Nah, fucker's prolly eatin' icicles up there for all we know. Makin' yellow snow, the fun stuff."

Ratcliff was disgusted by that comment, and made a scoffing noise to voice his distaste for Graves' speech. "You need to learn some manners, Graves, yeah."

Graves flipped over onto his stomach and hung his head off of the bunk, glaring down at the two with amber eyes. "And ya need ta be a little less of a sissy boy. Find yerself a woman ta set ya straight."

"Graves!" Cloud snapped up at the man who just laughed and returned to his bunk.

Ratcliff didn't seem bothered by this crack at his sexual preference, as it was well known that he preferred the company of a man over a woman. The whole 'Don't ask; don't tell' motto of the Shin-Ra Infantry Division didn't mean a damn thing to Ratcliff. He could care less what people thought of him, and Cloud envied and admired that confidence in him.

"And when's the last time you were ever with a woman, Graves? Seems to me that you repel them with that attitude of yours, yeah!"

Graves just muttered an angry reply, somewhat defeated. The sound of a magazine rustling above was heard. "Last time I was with a woman was right about now..." A perverted chuckle came from the man as he was obviously looking at a dirty magazine.

"That's just sick, yeah!" Ratcliff shook his head, turning his attention back to Cloud who seemed like he was trying to sneak a peek at the magazine out of curiosity, or maybe he was just too naïve to understand what Graves meant by his comment and wanted to investigate it for himself.

"You're too young for that, yeah."

"I'm fifteen, and I'm not looking at it..." he said, his eyes darting back over to Ratcliff. "I just didn't understand what he meant..."

Hit the nail on the head, Ratcliff did. Cloud was just naïve.

"And it's not like I haven't seen those before anyway."

Ratcliff tilted his head back, a shocked and dubious look on his face. Perhaps Cloud wasn't as naïve and innocent as everyone thought he was.

"T-they weren't mine..." he said as he began to clumsily explain himself to Ratcliff, as Ratcliff realized he still held a startled expression on his face. "They were this guy's...back home and he snuck them from his dad..." He was rambling, his face turning a bit red at his cheeks.

"Cloud, Cloud," Ratcliff hushed the boy, "you don't have to explain anything, yeah?"

"Yeah but...I'm...not like that..."

Graves' voice chimed in from above. "Stop while yer ahead, kid!"

Cloud shut his mouth, burying his face in his knees with a helpless moan.

Ratcliff couldn't help but laugh at him. A lot. "You're too cute!" Ratcliff cried, nearly doubling over with unrestrained laughter.

Cloud's head shot up. "What!?" His face was very pale and it caused Ratcliff to cease his laughing immediately.

"I...said 'You're too cute.' Sorry if I made you uncomfortable, yeah?" He wiped a tear away from the corner of his eye as his shoulders slowed in their heaving movement.

Light blue eyes were darting back and forth on the man. His mouth parted slightly, his eyebrows furrowed on his forehead. It had finally registered in his brain what was said to him a week prior.

"Everything all right, yeah?" Ratcliff peered at him worriedly.

"I...don't feel right," he uttered.

"Look whatcha did Ratcliff. Ya gone and broke the boy." A flip of a page in the magazine, followed by a sound of piqued interest in whatever body part was being viewed. Surely he wasn't reading one of the published articles.

Ratcliff raised his eyebrows, staring into the turmoil filled eyes of the boy in front of him. "Oh." He nodded his head slowly, understandingly. "I see."

Cloud frowned, looking absolutely petrified in his own body at that moment and he slowly lowered his head back down onto his knees.

Ratcliff knew that look a little too well.

 

~*~*~

  
"Shit, lost him!" His voice was wiped clean from the air as the unrelenting blizzard showered past the two men with sheets of smug ice. The storm was greedy, rude as it ignored the pleas of the frantic men as they searched for their target.

"Where the fuck did Mejia go!?" the grunt Evans called to Elici through the roar of the blizzard.

Elici trotted up to Evans, cradling himself from the unimaginable frost as he stumbled a bit in the powdered snow. "I think he went south from here!" He was shouting even though he was a mere four feet away. The howling wind carried his voice off into the depths of the Northern Crater which gaped ominously besides them.

"We can't leave our post, sir!"

Elici fidgeted at this remark as he glanced nervously between Evans and the now fading footprints in the snow from Mejia's desertion of his post.

Why the hell had he run off?

There was nothing for miles around. The nearest village was the Icicle Inn, but that was reportedly overrun by AVALANCHE and strange creatures called Ravens, he was informed by the guards they relieved. There were reports of several SOLDIERs deployed there, including a 1st Class and a Turk. Something big must have been going on down there for them to send SOLDIER, let alone a 1st and the Turks.

"Stay here, I'm going after him!" Elici finally shouted the order and Evans nodded, readjusting his grip on his rifle. "If I'm not back in fifteen, radio in the situation, understood? We have may a deserter!"

"Understood!"

Elici gave a final nod and trotted off into the angry storm around them.

 

~*~*~

  
Ten minutes...

Thirteen minutes...maybe?

He had been gone for too long. He had to head back. The footprints leading away from their post were gone now from freshly layered snow. Frantic eyes glanced back from his previous direction. His footprints were beginning to dwindle, and even with a compass and a level head on his shoulders he would soon find himself lost in the sea of chaos around him if he didn't turn back now.

He trudged back through the snow, his uniform soaked with the chilling reminder of the deceiving beauty around. Each tree, each boulder he passed was blanketed with a unique sprinkle of individualism from the minute flakes that fell. The pure white around was a tangible representation of how the Lifestream existed in his mind. Hauntingly beautiful, and devoid of anything but endless movement and infinite delicacy.

And if it wasn't for the piercing coldness in every fiber of his body, every inch of bone through him, he would have taken a longer look at this marvel before him. The bitter cold was too much a representation of what death would feel like. Relentless, merciless, unforgiving.

Elici could see the peak of the crater through the haze of snow flying past him as he neared.

Elici could see Mejia standing over a fallen Evans.

"Mejia!" His voice cut through the strength of the blizzard and pierced the ears of the man above him.

"Can you believe that this fuck tried to detain me?" His eyes darted over to Elici who was scrambling up the side of the crater with his rifle in hand. "Only a mindless idiot would defy me." His body turned to face Elici as he finally reached him, his weapon aimed directly at Mejia's head. "Mindless fuckin' idiot..."

"Back away from Evans."

An unbelievable cackle flowed from him. "Don't worry, I'm not going to kill him."

"Then back away and put your goddamn hands up!"

"Are you seriously trying to order me around, Elici!?"

Elici stopped, his hands shifting on the trigger and the stock of the assault rifle. His weapon began to lower, his head beginning to rise upright.

"You seem to have forgotten that I'm still in charge, fucker." Mejia began to clamber down the terrain of the crater, approaching Elici with an aura of blind confidence. The type of confidence that was unrestrained, unwavering that suggested he had the upper hand.

Elici was the one holding the weapon, Mejia was defenseless. He reassured himself in his mind.

"Wanna know somethin'? The only reason why they won't promote me to 2nd class was because I wasn't able to fill a quota."

Elici waited, digging his bent stance farther into the snow.

"Not enough men under my command were passing with high enough scores in their P.F.T testing and Materia training courses. You see, I need enough people under me to be promoted for me to earn a promotion. Stupid fuckin' thing, if you ask me."

"What are you getting at?" Elici shouted through the wind.

"I'm the one who had you promoted, you fuck! To fill my goddamned quota!"

Elici began to lower his rifle, stunned.

"But then you went and ran to the Brass and told them what I did to Strife. Mother fucker shoulda just kept your goddamn mouth shut!"

"You mess with my brothers, you mess with me."

"Oh don't give me that shit. Strife ain't nothin' but a little fuck."

A finger switched the selector lever from single shot to burst. "'Little fuck', huh? You're a disgrace."

"I forgive you, Elici. I really do."

"Fuck you."

"No, I'm serious! And I'll prove it to you."

Elici's green eyes watched as the man walked back up to the lip of the crater, gripping the man Evan's by the green scarf around his neck and pulling his upper body off of the white pillow of snow he lay on lifelessly.

"I was thinkin' of having your promotion pulled since you ratted me out, but I'll give you a chance to make it up to me."

"Put him down," Elici warned, the muzzle of his rifle trailing the man's movements.

"Shoot him," Mejia ordered.

"I refuse!"

"Shoot this fucker and I'll reinstate your promotion to SOLDIER."

"I refuse!" he repeated, louder.

"You know that I can be off the hook?"

Elici pulled his head back from the side of his rifle, peering at him through the snow. "What?"

"For trying to fuck Strife."

"What the hell are you talking about!?"

"My family is rich, fucker! I can have the Brass bribed off easily! Then I'll be free to fuck him whenever I want!" There was a joyous glee to his voice as he said that.

"What the hell did Strife ever do to you!?"

"Shoot this motherfucker now, and you'll be promoted, and I'll leave Strife alone!" He was shaking the unconscious man in his hands violently as he screamed this. "That's an order!"

Elici lowered his weapon. "I refuse."

"Fine, I'll do it." He swiftly reached into his pocket, pulling out a 9mm handgun.

"Stop!" Elici went to fire his rifle at Mejia, but the SOLDIER was too fast.

The blizzard was no longer rude, it was no longer smug as it lowered its head in humility to the gunshot that reverberated through its soul.

And Elici watched as the bullet entered the man between the eyes that slowly opened to the final scene in his life. The eyes closed, the body falling onto the tainted white below.

"Shoulda listened to me, Elici. Now I have to kill you too," he casually said as he stood, scooting the lifeless man off into the crater with a simple shuffle of his boot. Crimson snow followed the body as it disappeared over the edge.

No words escaped Elici's mouth. No thoughts ran through his head as the crazed man moved towards him in an unimaginable and untraceable display of inhuman speed.

Elici had forgotten that in this disgraced shell of a man was still a SOLDIER.

His clothes seemed dry.

The bitter cold in his bones was gone now.

The delicate feel of the snow engulfing him made him smile, reminding him of his family, reminding him of the blond boy who captivated his heart with innocence.

The Lifestream was exactly as Mick Elici pictured it to be.

White, endless, exquisite.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

  


## ...To be continued in Chapter Eight: Color of Existence.


	8. Color of Existence

~*~*~*~*~*~*~  


# Chapter Eight: Color of Existence

  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~

  
There was knocking at his door.

Someone knocking at two in the morning?

Zack collected himself from his couch, kicking aside the overturned coffee table, walking through the explosion of paperwork scattered across the floor that was mingling with the contents of his seabag that lay strewn about. He stepped over an overturned barstool from his counter that had somehow made its way to the front of his living space.

The knocking turned into frantic pounding.

Zack wiped at his eyes quickly as he exhaled a brief sigh. He opened the door, peering through it cautiously at first. But then the door was swung open widely at the sight of his frenzied visitor.

"Cloud?"

And before Zack could inquire to him as to why his shoulders were heaving, as to why his face was stained with tears and why his eyes were trembling with turmoil, Cloud blurted out loudly through a sucking breath.

"Elici's dead!"

Zack stood there, his hand dropping from the knob on the door and stopped at his side. His mouth began to move, but no words came out as Cloud stood there quivering violently, making a valiant effort to hold back the tears that Zack knew he wanted to release.

"C-come inside." Zack ushered him in, closing the door behind him as he entered the apartment swiftly. Zack frowned down at him when he began to remove his boots with muscles being racked with spasms. His fingers could hardly latch onto the laces. "Cloud, don't bother, just get in here."

Cloud nodded numbly, and obeyed.

And the apartment was in complete disarray like there had been some sort of struggle. Everything was everywhere and nowhere it should have been.

"What...the hell happened?" Cloud said, turning towards Zack in the darkness. "Is everything okay?"

"Don't you ask me that right now. Don't you worry about any of this, okay?" He nudged him through the mess and sat him down on the couch which was slightly off centered  _slightly_ meaning completely facing the neighboring wall it normally faced. They were staring into Zack's bedroom as they sat on the couch, and Cloud could see that the mattress had been overturned, and the sheets thrown about in what looked like a fit of rage and emotion.

"Zack, is everything okay?" He looked to his friend who was staring dully into the bathroom.

"I said don't worry about me. I'll tell you...another time." He forced a smile at Cloud, trying to repress his own tears that were trying to surface for his own reasons.

They sat in silence for a moment. The only sound was Cloud's heavy breathing and Zack's heavy swallowing.

"He...died at the Northern Crater..." Cloud finally confessed, and Zack could hear the leather gloves around his hands tighten and squeal as he formed them into fists. "He...has a family, too..."

Zack's mouth twitched, wondering if he should ask the boy the question that burned in his mind. He knew that Elici had been deployed out there with Mejia. "Do they..." He paused as Cloud looked to him. "...Know how he died?"

Those words seemed to have pierced through Cloud's troubled heart as his gaze went to the floor, and the tears began to flow silently down his face.

"...It's still being investigated," was his surprisingly steady reply through the shaking of his shoulders.

"When did you find out?"

"Right now."

"And you came here first?"

Cloud nodded, almost in a shamed way. He was angry at himself for having avoided the man for the past few days, only to run to him when he needed the comfort. He was pathetic, or at least so he thought.

Zack let out a shaky sigh, rubbing the back of his neck. He stopped when he glanced to Cloud, who sat there clutching his forearms in a feeble attempt to embrace himself through the pain. Zack's face softened as he slowly reached over to the crying boy beside him.

The touch made Cloud jump slightly; it was unexpectedly warm and soothing. Zack's thumb began to stroke the hot skin beneath his hand instinctively, and instinctively the boy began to lean into it.

"Cloud?" Zack whispered.

"Yeah?" he replied, his voice mild and full of remorse. He cried soundlessly, hoping that Zack wouldn't notice the tears.

"What can I do for you right now?"

Cloud shook his head. He sniveled quickly as he took in a breath to speak. "Nothing," was his breathless answer.

"I'll do nothing, then."

Cloud nodded, satisfied by his answer.

Zack, of course, couldn't do just nothing.

He gripped the base of Cloud's neck and suddenly pulled the boy into his chest. Cloud followed willingly with no ounce of hesitation in his movement. Zack pressed him against his body, wrapping his arms around the boy's shoulders as Cloud let out an unrestrained sob into Zack's uniform that he had been holding in.

He shuddered against him; he gasped before him; he nuzzled into him.

And Zack found himself crying then with Cloud as he tightened his grip, his eyes squeezing shut with his own pain, his own loss. But Cloud never saw those tears, as when he tried to lift his head, Zack only pushed his head back down gently into his chest with a soothing hush. To hold him down, Zack rested his chin against the soft spikes of hair that brushed against his wet face. His eyes fluttered closed, breathing in Cloud's scent. It was fresh, clean, liberating. Like an ocean of innocence.

And he soon found himself burying his face in that ocean as the boy cried against him silently. He was trying so hard not to break down completely like Zack could sense he wanted to, and Zack was proud of him for that, but also slightly disturbed by it as well. If he wanted to cry, he should just cry. If he wanted to wail in anguish, he should just wail in anguish.

Cloud was much like Zack whether they both realized this or not.

Zack clutched onto him until he felt Cloud's body relax against him after about fifteen minutes of holding him. The relaxing was followed by the soft escape of a moan from his burning chest as his emotions finally subsided into what Zack thought was sleep.

"Hey," Zack whispered to him, shaking him slightly, "you awake?"

Cloud responded with faint breathing into his chest, but nothing more.

Zack slid his arms even tighter around him. Assured he was asleep, he lowered his head once more, pressing his lips against the boy's hair. An intake of his scent once more, and Zack kissed him tenderly on the top of his head.

"Get some rest, kid," he whispered.

A slight stir. "I can't," was what was whispered back.

Zack gasped, lifting his head from atop Cloud's, his heart slamming against his chest. "I-I thought you were asleep, sorry." He was mortified at the now pressing thought of Cloud having been awake to feel the kiss that he laid upon his head.

"No, I was awake," Cloud whispered, and Zack could feel his hands sliding up his chest between them and gripping his shirt where his heart still sat pounding fearfully.

Cloud finally lifted his head to look at Zack. He could see Zack's sad eyes in the moonlight from the window in the kitchen. Light blue eyes scanned the troubled face above him quietly, observing the glistening trails of pain that were left against his skin.   
"You lost someone too?" he finally asked.

Zack just nodded slowly, his eyes never leaving Cloud's. "Yeah. I did."

Cloud shifted upwards, sliding onto Zack's lap. His touch against his chest never left as he moved in close.

Blue eyes stared at each other in a thick silence. One pair of eyes closed as a hand reached up and brushed the tear that rolled down a face, undetected by its owner. Zack pressed his face into Cloud's hand, allowing one more tear to escape, almost inviting Cloud to touch him so softly, so warmly again.

And he did, brushing his thumb up against the tear, wiping it away.

"I thought SOLDIERs weren't supposed to cry," the blond whispered, his angelic face reflecting the moonlight from the side, causing his blond hair to illuminate white and glow with a soft sheen of purity.

 _I thought angels weren't supposed to cry either_ , he thought in reply, their eyes flickering back and forth on each other.

Zack reached up with a hand to the back of Cloud's head, running his fingers through his hair. He pulled his head close, resting their foreheads against each other as his breath quickened in his chest.

Cloud let him do this, his lids fluttering closed as their skin connected.

"It's okay, only if we cry together, Cloud." He nodded, reassuring himself and the boy. "There's nothing to be ashamed of, nothing to be afraid of right now, here with me."

Cloud nodded back, their noses rubbing against each other.

Zack's hand slid around to Cloud's face, and was soon joined by his other hand on the opposite side, cupping that angelic face in his palms. Cloud was suddenly shaking now; Zack could feel it against his body. He could hear the breath in the boy's chest catch in his throat as it tried to escape. His lips began to tremble as if he were shivering from an unbelievable cold that racked his body.

Blood began to pound in their ears. Breathing ceased, all time stopped.

Those trembling lips were seized still as Zack lifted his head and delicately touched a parted mouth against them.

"Z-Zack..." Cloud whispered, and as he spoke his lips brushed up against Zack's, sending a quake down the spine of the SOLDIER.

The silent moonlight from above seemed to blur out reality, seemed to wash away the color of existence around them and Cloud sat before him in a definitive display of black and white. Not even the color of the flushed cheeks that Zack caressed so gingerly, so affectionately could escape the moonlight's grasp.

But color began to flood back into Zack's world as Cloud opened his eyes, revealing a vibrant array of confusion, yet stability in them as he looked back. His face was riddled with uncertainty and fear; of reliance and innocence, and Zack couldn't help but smile at that face that held the look of pure humanity on it.

He leaned forward, and kissed Cloud again.

A startled yet brief resistance was met as his lips moved against Cloud's, but soon found that they melded together in a dance of emotion and need. Their breath caressed each other's skin as they were erratically released from noses that brushed against each other; their kiss began to deepen.

Shaking hands slipped down the young boy's face, following the curvature of his moistened neck as they stopped upon pitching shoulders. They began to wrap around him, pulling him into his body as close as he possibly could. Cloud shifted in the man's lap, his legs sliding to either side of his body as their heads twisted slowly with their kiss. A sound of surprise came from the boy as Zack's tongue flickered against his parted lips, and it caused him to stiffen in stunned apprehension, until a rubbing of his back coaxed him to relax.

Zack could feel the ridge in Cloud's lip from where the stitches had been as he licked his tongue against it. It was a feeling that tugged at his heart. Those lips he loved so much were blemished, no longer smooth and flawless. They were stamped with the constant reminder of Cloud's horrid encounter with Mejia. He hoped that it would eventually heal properly.

Cloud arched slightly as Zack continued to rub his back. He opened his mouth slightly, to allow Zack to enter with his tongue, and Zack took the invitation and pushed the muscle into Cloud's warm mouth with a sense of gentle probing.

The feeling of Zack's tongue in his mouth shocked him, even scared him. It was a strange feeling, one that he had never experienced before in his life, and this Zack could tell as Cloud was awkward and stiff, but nonetheless he was sweet. Cloud did his best to match Zack's movements, learning from him with each lap of the tongue, or each momentary suckle of a lip. His brain began to process and soak in all of the flooding information into him at that moment, breathing in each of Zack's breaths as they shared this sensual moment between them.

Cloud could feel himself begin to move as Zack raised up on the couch and slowly lowered Cloud onto his back, never breaking contact between their lips. The combination of the shock of the cold leather against his back, and the hot, moist feeling of Zack's tongue in his mouth caused him to release a wisp of a moan he had been bottling up inside. All of the doubt and anxiety Zack had for what seemed like months disappeared, and he decided in a mere instance that these actions were okay; that this single expression of instinct would convey to Cloud what he had spent countless days musing over. It was all gone in that kiss.

His hands began to trail down Cloud's tense body. Down his slight but defined chest, down his rising stomach as he breathed. His hands stopped at his uniform blouse, breaking the deep kiss they shared to move down onto his neck. His mouth caressed the clammy skin and he could feel Cloud's frantic pulse against his lips. He kissed the beating vein, sending a gasp through Cloud's throat, followed by a slightly louder moan this time.

"Z-Zack..." he said, his head lolling to the side in a dazed and drunken reaction, permitting a wider access to the flesh that Zack was so enamored with on his neck.

The SOLDIER ignored him, trailing kisses down to the crook of his neck where he nursed that area between his shoulder, enjoying the feeling of Cloud's body pressed against his face as he kissed him. Hands began to slide up the shirt they were resting beneath and Zack smiled slightly as Cloud bucked his waist up from the shock of the cold air around them mixing with the intruding body heat of the SOLDIER.

But the thoughts that Cloud had been trying to repress snapped through his brain as one of Zack's hands began to move downward towards the painful erection between his legs. "Zack..." he said again, this time his voice holding a pleading tone, but was soon quieted as Zack nipped at his neck with his teeth. The sharp feel of his bite was soon soothed with a lap of his warm tongue and Cloud arched beneath him, whimpering inaudibly.

A hand was trailed down his stomach and passed along one of his thighs tenderly.

An audible whimper now escaped Cloud's throat, a violent flash of memory scraping across his brain. His breathing quickened, his eyes clamped closed, his mind beginning to shut down. He panicked.

"D-don't...please..."

Zack lifted his head quickly, his eyes wide with sudden fear. "Oh shit." His hands quickly retracted from hovering above Cloud's arousal and replaced themselves against his now cold face.

"S-stop!" Cloud tossed his head to the side, breaking Zack's grip.

"Cloud!" Zack tried holding onto his face as he began to thrash beneath him. "Cloud, it's me!" he pleaded to the boy, who just flailed in sheer terror against his touch. "Cloud, please, it's just me!"

"N-no! Get the fuck off me!" His eyes were lost in a wave of horror.

"Hey!" Zack sat up as Cloud began to rise, his hands swinging out as if he were trying to fend off an attacker. He caught one of his hands in mid-swing and forced it down to his side. "It's me, Zack!"

Cloud sucked in a sharp gasp through his nose as he blinked. "Zack?" His face was littered with beads of sweat that clung to his skin, unmoving as if claiming his emotions for their own.

Zack was at a loss for words as he watched his friend glance around fearfully between them.

"I-I'm so sorry," Cloud finally said, as a memory of what had occurred between them not moments before came flooding back into his jumbled senses. He looked humiliated with himself.

"What did I tell you, Cloud?"

"What?" he replied breathlessly, through an attempt to still the trembling in his body and the heaving in his shoulders.

"You don't apologize to me, ever." He reached out to him, at this point not caring if he were to fight back in confusion, and pulled him against his chest.

Cloud fell into him, a sudden feeling of exhaustion washing over him. "I...didn't mean to ruin this..." he muttered, his voice muffled.

Zack shook his head mindlessly, a slight tremor to his voice. "No, it wasn't ruined, not at all." And he really meant those words. "I should have been more considerate." He meant those, too.

Cloud shook his head against his chest. "Maybe...we can try this again soon, Zack." He looked up at him with a slight tilt of his head as if he didn't want to lose contact with the SOLDIER's body. "I-if you want..."

"I think I want to." He let out a small laugh. "I really do. But only if you're comfortable, Cloud," he whispered down to him, brushing a hand across his cheekbone. "I won't hurt you like that again."

"No, you didn't hurt me, Zack." His face buried back into his chest again, his arms sliding around to Zack's sides in a tender embrace. "You could never hurt me."

"That's right. I won't," he reassured, pressing a small kiss down on top of his head once more, now content that Cloud was awake. His heart still slammed into his chest, however, this time around.

They fell silent against each other, with only the sound of Cloud readjusting his position in the SOLDIER's arms playing across them.

"I don't feel right, Zack," Cloud blurted out finally.

Zack couldn't help but smile at this; his mind trailed back to the night where he agreed with the boy about something when he wasn't even too sure what it was. "I don't either, but it feels good, Cloud. Doesn't it?"

After a moment, Cloud nodded slowly against him, and Zack could feel Cloud smile into his chest too.

They fell asleep like that together on the couch, in each other's arms throughout the night. When Zack woke in the morning, Cloud had already left.

Zack's uniform shirt was soaked with tears.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

  


## ...To be continued in Chapter Nine: Somewhere Like Here.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> La, la laaa fan-art! By the lovely Djali aka Kitsuchi-chan! It's so beautiful! Check it out~~~: http://kitsuchi-chan.deviantart.com/art/Malady-Color-of-Existence-157140532


	9. Somewhere Like Here

~*~*~*~*~*~*~  


# Chapter Nine: Somewhere Like Here

  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~

  
One shot.

He flinched.

Two shots.

He flinched again.

Three-Volley shot.

A tear escaped down his face.

Mick Elici's grave was dug into the damp earth. An issued SOLDIER broadsword was sheathed into the mound of dirt, resting above his body. Its polished surface reflected the faces of those who remembered him; those who loved him. He could hear the sobbing of a small child, and the weakened attempts from a mother and wife to quiet him. A soft rustling of the people around him sounded through the brief speaking of Director Lazard. His mind blocked out any word that was spoken.

He blinked slowly, and when his eyes opened again, the sun was beginning to set, and everyone else was already gone. He stood staring down at the fresh mound below him, his silent tears unable to flow once more. He swallowed a burning lump in his throat; he swallowed the anger that welled up inside.

Beside that grave lay a memorial for Evans, whose body they were never able to recover.

A hand on his shoulder startled him, but the muscles in his body failed to react. Zack's voice reached his ringing ears. "Hey," was all he said. Cloud turned, his eyes tracing along the ground.

"Your friends are waiting."

Cloud looked up to Graves and Ratcliff who stood back, waiting by the sA-37 parked in the field of the plains near the Chocobo farm. That had been Elici's favorite place to take his son.

"Zack?" Cloud said, his voice quiet, solemn.

He hummed a questioning reply, his hand giving the boy a tight squeeze, resisting the urge to pull him close in front of the other two men.

"Where...are your friends?" He looked up, the remnants of sorrow brimming in his reddened eyes.

This caught Zack off guard and the hand on Cloud's shoulder slipped off. The memory of his friends dying in his arms, shrouded in snow, forced its way into his mind.

 _Essai...Sebastian_... Blue mako eyes shut in the breeze that passed by.

"They're somewhere...like here..." was his vague reply. The truth was he hadn't decided where to bury them yet. He and Tseng were going to decide together, and soon, after the autopsies. Family for the two men were long since gone, having passed either from sickness or from the war in Wutai, so the task was left for the closest person the two had to family. The thought dug into Zack's heart, until he forced the memory from his mission at the Icicle Inn away to show strength for his young friend. "C'mon, let's get back to Midgar." He forced a smile at Cloud, who forced one back.

 

~*~*~

  
The four hour ride back to the city was long, and mostly silent, at least for the occupants in the back. Cloud opted to sit in the bed of the truck, fearing that the closed cabin would make him claustrophobic in his muddled state, so Graves decided to keep him company back there. And Graves liked to smoke, so he wasn't bothering Ratcliff with his cigarette habit.

Zack sat with Ratcliff in the cabin, wishing that he was back with Cloud, but after the previous night they shared together, he thought it best to keep a little distance as Cloud seemed distracted and confused over the event. As was Zack, of course.

Ratcliff noticed Zack glancing back to Cloud in the rear view mirror, who was slumped up against the back of the cabin, his head resting against the glass, as if he were leaning against Zack, who sat on the other side.

"Poor kid," he said, frowning. "He's been through a lot lately, yeah?"

"Yeah."

"They never did find Mejia, yeah."

"Yeah..."

"We'll get him though, yeah?"

"...Yeah..."

Ratcliff chuckled, realizing that was a lot of 'yeah's being said during that short banter. Zack must have realized this too as he suddenly laughed. He could see Cloud lift his head during his laughter and look at him with a look of curiosity. Zack's eyes flicked away from the mirror. He looked rather cute peering at him through the window like a puppy being left out in the rain.

Zack smiled during this thought, and Ratcliff noticed the aura about the SOLDIER changing with a simple glance at the young Cloud.

"Somethin' about that boy, yeah?"

Zack looked to Ratcliff, the smile fading. "What?"

"He's a bit intoxicating, isn't he, yeah?"

Zack turned his head to peer out the window of the passenger seat. "I dunno," he mumbled with a nonchalant shrug of his shoulders that confirmed Ratcliff's ever growing suspicions.

"Cloud told me he didn't feel right, yeah."

Zack's heart jumped in his chest, but outwardly he remained stoic, uninterested. "Well, he's getting over that head injury, and now this with Elici..."

"I don't think you feel right, either, yeah?" He glanced over to Zack with his blue eyes. Eyes much like Cloud's, more than just the color anyhow. They reflected a jumbled past of self doubt, confusion and anxiety.

Zack frowned, turning away from the same eyes Cloud had the night before, the ones that flooded his soul with light and color.

"Well, if you ever want someone who has experience in 'not feeling right', come talk to me, yeah? I've been through it all."

Zack would have liked to have said 'I don't know what you're talking about', or 'You have it all wrong', or even 'I'm not like you', but he just found himself simply nodding, as if admitting every bit of rightful suspicions this man had for his relationship with Cloud.

Ratcliff just decided to ask him outright, formalities be damned. "Ever been with another man?"

And if it weren't for the fact that there were two other people behind him within strained earshot over the howling of the wind and the engine, he would have shrieked his reply. Instead, he opted for a very animated facial expression. "What!?" Maybe slightly more shrieked-sounding that he would have hoped. "Look, I don't know what type of relationship you think we have but-"

"I saw the love bite on his neck. Cloud has very sensitive skin, you know, yeah?"

Zack shut his mouth, turning his attention away from Ratcliff, and started focusing it on counting the dust particles on the dashboard in front of him.

"I've never seen him with anyone but you, and us, yeah. And I know for sure it wasn't any of us who gave him that mark. He is rather secretive, but I can still read him like a book, yeah? Even though he was sad over Elici's death, this morning there seemed to be a light in him that's been missing for a while now, yeah." Ratcliff nodded at his little speech, giving it his own approval as it fell upon Zack's ears.

Zack shifted uncomfortably in his seat, but then realized that if he were to talk to anyone about this, it would be Ratcliff. He began to open his mouth, when he heard Graves behind in the bed of the truck beginning to laugh rudely. Zack turned to watch as Cloud flopped himself over the side of the truck and vomited.

"Oh dear," Ratcliff said, watching the sight from the rear view mirror. "I forgot he gets sick on car rides, yeah."

"And helicopters." Zack paused for a moment. "And...elevators." He cringed, his mind going back to several nights before where Cloud had gotten sick against his chest.

Ratcliff chuckled, watching as Graves had one hand on the cigarette in his mouth, and the other hand on Cloud's back rubbing him as tenderly as someone like Graves could. He wasn't much of a touchy-feely type of person, nor was he the type to be able to console someone properly. But he managed in his own gruff way.

Zack took this moment of distraction to blurt out what was eating away on his mind. "No, in answer to your question, earlier..."

"Ah. But you've been with a woman, yeah?"

His mind trailed back to a girl he dated for one month that ended rather awkwardly. She worked at the front lobby of the building, the one that Graves was particularly fond of. Fond of her ass, that is. At first, she had paid scant attention to Zack when he would saunter up to her, but then after he moved up a couple of ranks, she started to take notice of him. After a while they had begun to become intimate, but it ended after a night of love making when she started to cry out personal information about him during sex. He had always heard her muttering things about him, like his height, weight and hometown, but just assumed she had been apart of a newly formed fan club of his that he'd heard about. He didn't really mind it at first as it was sort of cute, but that night when she orgasmed while screaming out his shoe size, he didn't call her back. And the horrifying part of it was, was Kunsel lived directly below him and had heard the entire thing. The next day Kunsel invited him out to go shoe shopping. He didn't speak to the bastard for three days afterwards.

There was one after her, but that only lasted for two weeks. He didn't get very far with her; only a bit of messing around as he started to be detached with everything that was happening with Angeal disappearing.

But then there was the girl from the slums. Pretty little thing; sweet as an angel. And how he treated her like one. They were together for three months before she began to become frustrated over not being able to see him as often as she would have liked. They were intimate as well, but eventually they came to a mutual agreement to part ways as a couple because of the strain of his job. It was hard at first, and he admittedly met up with her a few times after they parted to have a fun night or two, but that had stopped when his infatuation with Cloud smacked him upside the head, and he realized he was falling for him.

"Yeah. A few," he finally said.

"Well, it's essentially the same. Just...in another spot. You've done that with the ladies, yeah?"

Zack shook his head a bit violently, suddenly becoming rather uncomfortable in the conversation. "Never mind, this was a bad idea."

"What was? Talking to me, yeah?"

He didn't reply.

"He's really crawled under your skin, hasn't he, yeah?"

Zack's eyes went up to the reflection of Cloud heaving over the side of the truck. It was a pathetic sight, but it made him smile widely. "You could say that."

 

~*~*~

  
They made it back to Midgar a little before eleven; way past the time they were supposed to report back in for lights out. Of course, most of the men from the unit were gone, arriving from the burial around the same time, so it was excused for this night.

Ratcliff had managed to get Zack to indulge him a little in what had happened between him and Cloud, but didn't get much more out of Zack than a few vague details. He was a tough nut to crack, but Ratcliff just took that as a sign of apprehension and confusion, and not as being pompous. He ended up telling Zack a few stories of his own, toned down of course, as he had some wild ones despite his outward shyness.

And there was one piece of advice he said to Zack.

"It's the shy ones you need to watch out for. They can be deceiving. And, frankly, wild in bed."

Zack couldn't picture Cloud being anything but a silent and timid lover, but the flooding memory of the two moans he had let escape during their sensual encounter replayed in his mind a few hundred times before he had to roll down the window of the truck and let the cold wind take over his hearing. And take control of his arousal, of course, as that threatened to become painfully obvious during the onslaught of Cloud's voice in his head. But then the sound of Cloud moaning in the bed of the truck due to motion sickness didn't help much in his attempt to forget the sultry sounds. A moan was a moan, after all.

After a few lessons Ratcliff spouted off to him about making love to a man, and after a few uncomfortable shifts in his seat from Zack during these conversations, they eventually just laughed it off and resumed talking about not much of anything. But Ratcliff could tell that Zack seemed a bit more at ease after these conversations, like he had somehow answered some of the floating questions in his mind about what to do with a man. Little did Ratcliff know that Zack was memorizing each disturbingly helpful piece of information that was told to him about making love with a man. Eventually Ratcliff picked up on this after Zack's perturbed silence turned into slow nods of the head, to full on staring with interest while he spoke. He then offered up another piece of advice to Zack.

"Cloud is allergic to latex, just so you know, yeah. He'll break out into a nasty rash that'll last for days. Happened once after our basic medical training course. Poor guy was scratching like a mutt with fleas, yeah!"

This was duly noted.

The sA-37 finally pulled into a stop in the underground garage of the Shin-Ra building. A few other cars were doing the same, all of whom had joined the solemn burial of Elici's. The men exiting the vehicles wore the same placid looks as they had at the funeral.

Graves was dragging a rather invalid Cloud through the bed of the truck begrudgingly. "I dunno how ya put up with this shit, Zack! This kid is such a pain in the ass."

"Here, give him to me." Zack reached out and cupped his hands underneath Cloud's arms as he slid him off of the bed of the truck as if picking up a small child. He slumped over lifelessly into Zack as he set him down on the ground, steadying him on his wobbly legs. "You okay Cloud?" He tried to keep his voice steady and firm, and refrained from softening it too much in front of the others as he felt so inclined to do when he was around his little friend.

Ratcliff just grinned at this awkward display of hiding true intentions.

"Yeah...I'm okay," Cloud finally said, straightening his legs. "Just give me a minute."

Of course, a minute didn't last very long as Cloud bent forward and retched. The three men took two respective steps backwards as he did this, with respective chuckles, of course.

"Like I said, pain in the ass," Graves repeated, tossing his final cigarette of the night off to the side. A trail of smoke followed, slowly disappearing into the air. Graves reached into his pocket and offered Cloud the contents of his hand.

"I don't smoke..." he said.

"Oh, oops. Here." The hand returned, and then emerged holding a pack of gum. "Yer mouth prolly tastes like crap right now from all that puke."

Cloud took it with a slight face, but jammed several pieces into his mouth.

"Well fellas, I'm gonna head off now," Zack said, and Cloud looked up at him through watery eyes with a look of disappointment. It was a very endearing look, even if the tears weren't for him leaving, but from vomiting for the past four hours. "I have an appointment in the morning."

"Really? Everythin' a'ight?" Well, maybe it wasn't Graves' last cigarette as he promptly lit up a new one.

Zack nodded a few times, frowning in thought. "Yeah, I just need a little pick-me-up. I lost a bit of blood recently and haven't been feelin' in top shape since."

"Ah, Mako injection, yeah?" Ratcliff was the one digging around in his pocket now to pull out a cloth for Cloud to wipe his eyes with and he just shook his head declining, opting for the back of his hand instead.

"Hey, you guys got liberty Saturday?"

The three nodded silently, waiting for Zack to continue.

He stood for a moment, letting a small smile crawl across his face. "How 'bout we head out for a night on the town? My treat."

"Really?" was the collective question from the three.

"Yeah! We can hit up a restaurant, maybe a few bars..." His voice trailed off as Graves pointed to Cloud, and Ratcliff pointed to Zack himself.

"Too young," they both chimed in unison.

"Hey, I can get in. Kunsel and I do it all the time. They don't dare ask me for my I.D. They won't bug Cloud either, especially when I'm there. I'm a payin' customer, after all!"

"Well, it's up to Cloud here, bein' the innocent one and all." Graves flicked his thumb on the back of the cigarette, knocking a line of ashes off. "If he's man enough, of course."

"What're you talking about?" Cloud said, his voice sharp, almost defensive. "Elici snuck me in tons of times."

"...What?" was the shocked, collective question from the three.

"'By-The-Book-Elici'!?" Graves spun around on his heels, letting out a rowdy laugh. "Yer shittin' me, Blondie!"

"Apparently you guys forgot that he's from Sector 7. His father-in-law and wife run that brand new bar there. The 7th Heaven."

Graves swatted a hand at Cloud, losing interest. "Bah, and here I thought ya snuck in all ninja like. His wife just rolls out the goddamned red carpet and lets yer ass in through the front door with a goddamned smile."

"And she poured us many drinks with that goddamned smile," Cloud said and Graves recoiled, surprised by Cloud's sudden defensiveness. He could hardly imagine the boy in a bar let alone slamming down drinks with a seasoned pro like Elici had been. He was a formidable opponent, even against Graves in the game of drink, so for Cloud to be joining in with him made the man wonder just how innocent this boy really could be.

"Waitaminute. You little liar you!" Graves bounced up and down on his feet, pointing a finger at Cloud. "Ya told us last week that yer innocent ass had never drank before!"

Ratcliff snorted a laugh. "He said he went to a bar, he never said he got shit-faced, yeah! For all you know, he could have been drinking lemonade, yeah?"

Cloud looked like a little guilty child who just got caught with his hand in the cookie jar. "Well..."

"Feh! I knew it." Graves spat on the ground. "Elici'd never let ya drink. Ya prolly just sat and watched, sippin' on yer little fruity lemonade!"

Zack just stood there through all of the bantering between the three. He watched as Cloud seemed to really enjoy the company of these men. He observed the masked smile he had on his face, and the pain in his eyes each time Elici's name was mentioned. But he held himself together, despite the pain, for the sake of his friends. Zack was proud of him at that moment for the strength he was showing.

He thought of his two friends he had just lost up at the Icicle Inn, and remembered the dazed thrashing he'd done throughout his apartment, tearing through it in a rare fit of uncontrolled emotion. He thought of the tears he had spilled in anguish over their bodies as he held them when they died. He hoped that he could be as strong as Cloud was at this moment, when it came time to bury Essai and Sebastian.

"Well, I'm just gonna sneak off here while you guys argue..." Zack said, taking a few steps backwards, realizing his voice fell on deaf ears. He smiled at them, giving them a quick wave that went unnoticed, and walked off.

Graves and Ratcliff continued to bicker, not seeing as Zack walked off, or when Cloud followed.

 

~*~*~

  
"Zack!" Cloud's voice echoed as Zack rounded a corner through the empty lobby of the building. He stopped at the base of the carpeted stairs, turning to face the young one who ran up to him with a restrained sense of urgency.

"You should head back to the barracks, Cloud. It's late," he said sympathetically as his young friend looked rather haggard. His vibrant eyes trailed the boy who stopped short a few feet away, looking up at him from below.

"Did you really mean it?"

"What?" he chuckled, tilting his head to the side.

"Taking us all out."

A few blinks of his eyes and Zack just nodded, a bit confused as to what Cloud looked so disheveled over. "Well yeah, of course. I wouldn't say something unless I meant it. If you haven't noticed I'm a bit honest to a fault, buddy. Unlike you, you little liar."

"I wasn't lying..." He frowned, looking away at a potted plant near the lobby desk. "I've been there a few times."

"Drinking lemonade?"

A hand swiped across the back of his neck. "And sometimes tea..."

Zack shook his head, folding his arms across his chest at the blond.

"...And Car Bombs." He looked back up to Zack slowly, a surprisingly devilish grin forming across his face.

Zack's arms slipped from each other and flopped down to his sides. His eyes went wide with disbelief at what the blond had admitted, and also for the look he wore. Zack took a few steps down, approaching him. "No...way."

Cloud looked away, still holding that smirk across his face. He was nibbling on the gum he had in his mouth and Zack could hear it snapping between his teeth as his grin broke out into a smile, his lips parting slightly.

"You're lying again!"

Cloud let out a soft laugh, covering his mouth with a gloved hand, turning away from him as Zack realized he had been played for a fool by this young boy.

"You little runt!" Zack practically pounced on him, sliding the crook of his elbow around Cloud's neck and pushing him forward to face the floor. "I'll get you for that one, Strife!" He proceeded to grind his knuckles into Cloud's scalp with his other hand as the boy fidgeted in his arms, laughing heartily.

"Sorry, but that was too easy!" Cloud's arm was waving about, blindly feeling around for Zack's body. He eventually found his arm and began to tap it, in defeat.

"No way, bud. You gotta find your way out of this one. I'm not letting go that easily." Zack affirmed this statement by squeezing his neck a bit tighter. A few coughs escaped Cloud, mingling with his laughing as he continued to tap. "Nuh-uh. Don't think so."

"But my head injury!" he whined, feigning ailment.

Zack laughed, looking down at him, although Cloud couldn't see this as he had a lovely view of their boots. "Don't give me that. You're better now. Gotta try a different way."

"Aw c'mon Zack!" he pleaded lightheartedly.

"Nuh-uh!"

Cloud suddenly used his body weight to drop to the ground, almost lifelessly. Zack was caught by surprise in this quick instance and he went tumbling to the ground with him. Cloud landed on all fours, laughing breathlessly as the cool rush of air finally returned to his lungs that were being playfully deprived of oxygen from the SOLDIER. He hadn't noticed that Zack had fallen over him, his hands on either side of the boy, his groin pressed up against Cloud's rear in an all too suggestive position.

Zack sprung up quickly on his knees, pulling his hands back from either side of the boy's shoulders.

"I knew that'd get you!" Cloud glanced over his shoulder to see Zack on his knees behind him, with the hands that were on either side of him now placed absentmindedly on his hips. They apparently didn't get as far as he had hoped in his first attempt. "Zack?"

Zack glanced down as Cloud was observing him and the odd pose they both held themselves in. He took a long hard look at where his hands where, and where his groin was still pressed up against and fitting rather nicely, almost like a puzzle coming together. He let out a surprised noise, retreating his palms from the sides of Cloud's warm hips and jumped to his feet in one swift SOLDIER blur.

"N-nice move!" He blurted out, trying to pass the oddity of their predicament off as merely nothing. "Needs a bit of work though."

Cloud stood, dusting off his uniform trousers casually, even though he was more than aware of the amusing and slightly thrilling pose they had landed in. "Whatever works," he simply replied.

Zack chuckled a response, rubbing his thumb across his brow. Their amused laughter slowly died down.

They both fell silent together, shifting awkwardly on their feet. The sounds of their dissipating breaths echoed between them, carrying to each other an aura of wanting to say something, wanting to act on something. They knew they were about to part, but didn't quite know how to do that after their situation the night before.

Cloud was finally the one to speak, his voice now void of the personality he showed not moments before. "Well, I guess I should head back to the barracks. I didn't mean to keep you waiting."

Zack didn't know what to do and it showed on his perturbed face then. His mind was being attacked with thoughts at that moment, with screaming of suggestions, none of which he could bring himself to do or say. He wanted to embrace him in a departing hug, wanted to kiss him tenderly on the lips, hell, even the top of his head, anywhere. Hand, shoulder, nose, he would take what he could get and be damned the awkwardness of whatever body part he ended up choosing in the end, only if it meant to connect with him once again.

And Cloud was feeling the same way silently, but his face reflected more of an eager look than what Zack had been wearing. If he were to initiate the contact, would he even know what to do? He could read Zack's emotions through his laden eyes that he yearned for another encounter like the night before. Cloud's heart began to pound in his chest, unsure of the actions that threatened to flow from him at that moment as Zack looked so ardent about the decisions scrambling inside his head.

They spoke each other's name in unison, and then released amused chuckles at this.

"You go first," Zack said.

Cloud pursed his lips together, his tongue tickling the roof of his mouth in quiet anticipation, as if urging him to speak the words that he desperately wanted to say. These words, however, fell from his mouth in a jumbled mess of unintelligible mumbles.

Zack let out a breathy laugh. "What was that supposed to be, Spikey?"

"I...uh...w-wanted to..." He trailed off, letting a small squeak of frustration out at his inability to speak his mind. He was afraid he would be too presumptuous to ask for a kiss after his reaction the previous night when Zack was touching him.

He wasn't even sure what the previous night meant to Zack anyhow.

"Cloud?" Zack said after several idle moments of Cloud just brewing there. He lowered his head to try and see beneath the hair that fell into Cloud's eyes. "What did you want to ask me?"

"N-nothing..." He shook his head shortly. "It's nothing."

"Little liar again," he teased, reaching up and putting his hand underneath Cloud's chin. "If you want something, just ask me," he whispered, closing the gap between them with a single step. "Don't be shy around me, Cloud."

Cloud allowed Zack to lift his head tenderly, the warmth of his hand resonating through him. His eyes flickered against Zack's, but then looked away. His handsome features were too sharp for the wavering emotions in him at that moment.

"C'mon, just tell me," he coaxed, his face lowering into Cloud's, his nose brushing up against his cheek. He let his lips rest against Cloud's but didn't connect them in the kiss that he could tell Cloud so longingly wanted. Almost as much as Zack wanted.

And that sweet bottom lip began to tremble in a show of nervous excitement. This urged Zack to continue his sensual teasing. He reached up with his hand, sliding it along the back of Cloud's shoulder blades, finally stopping to rest behind his upper arm. He could feel Cloud convulse momentarily at the touch and this brought forth a sultry chuckle from the SOLDIER.

"Z-Zack..." Cloud said, his head tilting back slightly to try and catch Zack's mouth with his, but Zack pulled away. He knew Zack was teasing him, trying to get him to come out of his shell and actually ask for something he wanted, rather than just suffer without it. It was working. "I-I wanted...to see, if i-it's okay with you..."

Zack's smile widened, waiting. His hands began to slide up along Cloud's neck and up into the soft spikes. His fingers danced between them, causing a few more shivers to rack Cloud's frame.

"I want to kiss you," Cloud blurted, and then suddenly pulled back as he cupped a hand over his mouth, utterly embarrassed.

Laughing was one of Zack's other favorite pastimes, besides eating, and sleeping because of eating. And he commenced his favorite pastime in front of the bumbling blond through a melody of heartwarming laughter. It filled the empty lobby with its sound and drowned out the noises of displeasure from Cloud as it did this.

"Stop laughing at me, you ass!" he said, his face drenched in a reddened fury. He kicked the ground at Zack's feet, thrusting his bottom lip out unconsciously in a rather pitiful pout.

"See? Was that so hard?"

"W-well I didn't see you asking me either..." He trailed off, his back almost completely to Zack now in shame.

Zack's laughing ceased, as this was painfully true. "Okay. It's settled then," he said after a rather quick decision over something.

Cloud turned back around with a bowed head. His eyes crept up to meet Zack's gaze.

"There will be no hesitation, either."

"What?" Cloud's head slightly lifted now, interest piqued.

"No apologies, no hesitation between us. Ever."

Cloud liked the sound of 'us', but he kept that glee to himself. "Okay..."

"Can we try this again?" he so innocently asked and Cloud nodded. "You go first," Zack said, once more.

Cloud looked a bit mortified as he was chosen to initiate once more. His mouth twitched to the side in nothing other than hesitation, but Zack let that one slide for now. Cloud repeated himself again in a sheepish whisper.

"Can't hear you," Zack said so nonchalantly.

It was repeated once more, in no higher of a decibel than the previous attempt.

"Can't hear you!" he said in a sing-song voice now, as his arms folded against his chest.

Cloud lowered his head again, his eyebrows arching in a frustrated expression. He no longer repeated himself.

Zack smiled at him understandingly. "Okay, well we'll work on that." He took a step forward again, his arms sliding from off his chest. "How about I give it a try?"

Cloud nodded seriously.

"Cloud, can I kiss you?"

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

  


## ...To be continued in Chapter Ten: Between His Teeth.


	10. Between His Teeth

~*~*~*~*~*~*~  


# Chapter Ten: Between His Teeth

  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Cloud nodded once more silently, but his eyes lifted and trailed along the second level of the lobby. "There's someone coming."

Zack glanced back, viewing an infantry grunt on patrol of the first few floors of the building. "So?"

"I...don't think it would be a good idea to make it public..." Cloud rubbed the back of his neck, trying to stiffen himself up once the grunt saw them standing there. He gave a nod from above to the two below, and resumed his rounds.

Zack was more of a carefree person than Cloud, who was bundled up in self doubt and insecurity. Zack, on the other hand, was more of an impulsive and spontaneous individual who could care less what the outcome of his actions would entail; at least, a lighthearted action that he was confident in, and that he knew would cause no harm to whomever or whatever was around him.

But he hadn't really thought of the consequences of pursuing a public relationship with a member of the company  let alone it being a man  as the crazy woman from the lobby was more of a secret fling. He was fairly sure that being in an open relationship with Cloud would cause some sort of uproar, as even now his friendship with him was considered borderline favoritism. He was allowed to have friends off-duty as Shin-Ra couldn't stop him in that, but when it came down to ethics it was frowned upon when the friends were within the company, and being of a lower rank.

And it wasn't like everyone in the company wasn't fooling around with one another anyhow. That was something that couldn't be avoided when the company had thousands of women-deprived men sleeping in tight proximity with each other and only a handful of women running around in the offices in comparison. It was inevitable and, frankly, rather apparent. A simple stroll down a quiet hallway in one of the office floors in the evenings would tell all. The sounds of muffled and restrained cries came from every broom closet, every copy machine room and every supply closet in the damn building. Men with women; men with men; women with women; it didn't matter. It was unavoidable, and unmistakable. Affairs; flings; one-night stands; Shin-Ra was crawling with them.

So why would a real relationship be such a cause for a company-wide catastrophe?

Zack hadn't realized that Cloud was peering up at him with a look of concern. Zack had gone into one of his very rare modes of musing that he tried desperately to deter himself from. Musing was for old people, in his mind - Cloud, of course, being the only exception. It was endearing when he did it, though.

"Zack?"

"I have an idea!" he said, reaching down and clutching Cloud's wrist in his hand. He took off running, dragging him along with Cloud's surprised cry of resistance. Zack just squeezed his wrist harder as he made his way up the stairs and to a door on the second floor of the lobby. His eyes caught the grunt entering one of the elevators as he passed by. "In here!" Zack practically shoved Cloud into a room past an arrangement of casual lounging tables on the floor.

Cloud fell into the room stumbling, fighting for balance. "Dammit, Zack! You could have just asked me to follow you!" He straightened his posture once he finally found his footing. "If you had to piss that bad, you could have just said so," Cloud said as he finally realized that Zack had led him to the bathroom. He glanced around, taking note of the lack of urinals and the odd scent of...cleanliness.

"Are we in the Women's!?" he said, covering his mouth with his hands again once he realized how loud his voice was.

"Sh! And yes." Zack grinned at him deviously. "It's after office hours; there are no women here right now. No one will bother us in here."

"B-bother...?" His voice came out in an amusing squeak.

"For our kiss," Zack said, so matter-of-factly.

Cloud had nearly forgotten through the tugging and the frantic running. He suddenly shrank again, turning into that shy boy once more. "W-wouldn't it have been easier to just go back to your quarters, instead of hiding out in here?"

"Yeah, but what would be the fun in that?" He stepped towards Cloud, who instinctively took a step back. Cloud bumped into the granite counter top, his hand slipping against the surface in an attempt to steady himself as Zack neared him.

"I-I don't know...this is a little strange. What if someone walks in?"

"It's past eleven," he said lowly, having fully approached the boy who was now holding a tint to his cheeks as Zack looked at him with smoldering eyes.

Cloud's knees began to wobble at the sight of the handsome SOLDIER staring through him with those intense eyes. Eyes reflecting a sensual aura of need, love and lust.

But Zack controlled the last part of that aura as he reached up, cupping the boy's face between his confident hands and leaned forward, once again nuzzling his nose against him. "Can I kiss you, Cloud?"

"Yes." His breath was released, bated and ragged; minty from the gum he chewed. He forced his eyes to stay open  at least half-lidded  as he wanted to watch the SOLDIER press his lips up against him in the dimly lit room. The night before was such a blur to him, filled with bemusement and indecisiveness on his part. He felt that it had happened so fast that he didn't even get to enjoy his first kiss. This was far from the truth however, as he enjoyed the parts he managed to remember through all of the emotions, sensations and...arousal.

Zack smoothed one of his thumbs across the boy's cheekbone, allowing a soft purr to flow from his throat as he dipped his head into him.

Cloud moaned when they connected, and the sound struck through Zack's mouth and down his body. His stomach flipped, his eyebrows lifted with the noise; his kiss was brought into a height of sensuality that he had never felt before. All because of that one little noise.

Slowly, carefully, Cloud watched as Zack's tongue began to lap at his lips and he instinctively opened his mouth to allow him entrance. He could hear the breath flow from Zack's throat as he pushed his tongue in gently, once permitted.

Hot, slick, sweet. Their tongues passed over each other as heads twisted and craned with an increasing urgency. Hands began to roam. But Zack slowed the kiss then, moving his hands back up to Cloud's face, not wanting to send the boy into another bout of spiraling like he had the night before. How he wanted to prop the boy up on the counter and lean him against the mirror. How he wanted to enter him and give him a reason to moan louder...

He restrained himself, despite the now painful feeling in his trousers. He was given a distracting chance to ignore this, thankfully, as the sharp feeling of teeth nipping at his bottom lip spun his mind back to where it belonged.

Zack was stunned. Cloud was writhing against him, his hands soaring up and down his back, hungrily and aggressively biting at Zack's lip. He was beginning to release little moans of what Zack could only assume was sexual frustration as he felt Cloud beginning to grind into him.

The SOLDIER didn't know what to do _with_ him, and what to do _to_ him, at that point. The memory of Cloud's hysterical reaction to touching him the previous night played through his mind as he continued to allow Cloud to bite and then suck at his bottom lip between the passing of the tongues. As much as he was enjoying it, his brow furrowed in a look of concern. He hadn't imagined Cloud would be this feisty, at least not this soon. He was timid, reserved, a bundle of repressed nerves.

"Mmmmnn...C-Cloud..." Zack said through the assault of nips and kisses he was receiving.

And it was like his voice was a slap upside Cloud's head as he instantly froze, his hands stopping their trek across his back, his eyes opening wide to peer at Zack. He still had his bottom lip between his teeth, however.

"Yeth?"

"You enjoyin' theth?"

A blush spread across Cloud's surprised face and Zack's bottom lip was released. He buried his head in man's neck in embarrassment.

"I-I don't know what came over me..."

Zack licked his own bottom lip, inspecting it with this tongue to make sure it was relatively in one piece. He stroked Cloud's head with his hand as he glanced to the mirror in front of him. A bit red, but nothing people would raise their eyebrows over. He'd had worse marks on him before from the crazy girl in the lobby.

"No, no," he cooed into his hair then, taking in his scent. It was still that same liberating smell. "I was a bit surprised, is all." He shifted the boy in his arms, and could feel Cloud's hard arousal pressed against him.

Cloud groaned quietly as Zack moved. He unconsciously thrust against him, his eyes fluttering closed. "I just...never thought one of my first kisses would be in a bathroom, let alone the Women's." He let out a sheepish chuckle, his head shaking against Zack, causing his hair to rustle against his chin.

Zack laughed, pulling his head away from the tickling sensation. His laugh stopped quickly, as what Cloud had just said processed into his brain, however.

"Wait." He pulled the boy away. "One of your _first_ kisses?"

Cloud looked away, biting his own lip now, eyebrows wrinkled in a look of guilt.

" _I'm_...your _first_...kiss?" was Zack's astounded reply. "Last night was...your _first_?"

"Oh hell," Cloud said, cupping his hands over his face. "I feel so damn stupid."

Zack reached up, taking Cloud's hands in his own in a gentle grasp. "None of that. Don't hide from me." He pulled his hands down to view the beautifully ashamed look Cloud wore on his face.

Instead of his hands covering his face, he decided to squeeze his eyes shut to avoid looking at Zack.

"Cloud, please look at me."

Cloud's eyebrows met when Zack reached up and brushed his hand across his face.

"Look at me."

"I feel so stupid..." he repeated, craning his head off to the side.

"I will make you look at me, Cloud Strife," was the final thing he said as he took the exposed opportunity of Cloud's neck to dive in.

Cloud gasped at the hot feeling of Zack's mouth on his skin, and instantly he relaxed.

Zack was watching Cloud's reaction in the mirror as he worked on his neck with his lips, trailing down from the bottom of his jaw to his adam's apple. He passed his tongue across it and could feel it send a chain reaction down Cloud's spine in the form of a shiver. His face was more eased now, but his eyes were still closed.

So Zack lifted his head and plunged his tongue into Cloud's ear.

Cloud cried out, tossing his head back as his eyes shot open from the strange intrusion. He squirmed, arching his back at the sensation and Zack had to clutch onto him as he threatened to fall.

The blond released several labored gasps before his eyes darted back to Zack who pulled back, grinning deviously down at him.

"Thank you for looking at me," he said, through a husky chuckle as he leaned forward and nuzzled his nose up against Cloud's shocked face. "And if I ever hear you call yourself stupid again, I will make you regret it."

"O-okay..." he muttered, watching as Zack continued to cuddle against him. He was pulled into an embrace, being buried in his warmth.

"And thank you, Cloud," he whispered into his ear.

"For what?"

"For sharing your first kiss with me."

Cloud merely nodded, and Zack was unaware of his wide eyes against him, smitten over the man who spoke those words, and held him so tenderly.

Zack chuckled softly then, tightening his embrace momentarily as he spoke. "And thank you once more."

Cloud pulled back, tilting his head up with a quizzical look. "For what _this_ time?" One of his eyebrows lifted.

Zack then grinned widely, pushing forth the wad of gum that was once in Cloud's mouth between his teeth for Cloud to see. "For the gum."

 

~*~*~

They parted rather casually, once they slipped out from the bathroom nervously. No one around, but still Cloud was quite amusingly mortified when he bolted from the doorway and into the safety zone of the lounge area.

A friendly wave to each other for the cameras above, and they left, Cloud smiling softly to himself as he headed back to the barracks, and Zack grinning wildly as he headed back to his quarters, chewing that wad of gum still.

And for Cloud, he was so enamored with thoughts from moments before that he wasn't even aware he had already made it back to the dark barracks, undressed and then redressed in the issued sleep wear, crawled into his rack, all while holding a rather suspicious-looking grin across his face. And only when Ratcliff spoke from besides him did he finally realize.

"There you are, yeah!" He was sitting on Elici's bed.

Cloud blinked, lifting his head from his pillow. "Oh, hey." He couldn't wipe that smile so easily off his face, and this Ratcliff noticed, along with the all-too-casual greeting he chimed out.

"Hey indeed." He flashed a grin as he lay back on the bed. "You're back a bit late, yeah?"

Cloud sat up, the blankets falling from his chest as he looked at Ratcliff who stretched out next to him. "What're you doing in his bed?"

"Thought you might want to have some company next to you tonight, yeah?" He yawned briefly into the back of his hand, and then placed it underneath his head of dark blond hair. "Might feel a bit lonely without him at first, yeah," he said rather solemnly, looking up at Graves' rack above. The man was already snoring rather loudly with limbs hanging off of each side.

Cloud's smile was gone, so easily wiped away. Ratcliff didn't seem to notice as his eyes began to close.

"Y-yeah...thanks," Cloud whispered, lowering himself back down onto his bed. He turned to his side, away from Ratcliff to face the empty bed of Evans' next to him. He tugged the blanket up and around his shoulder tightly, enclosing himself in a false sense of being held by something, anything.

Elici was really dead.

Cloud hated himself for feeling so happy earlier with Zack.

 

~*~*~

It was no rest for the weary and the traumatized unit. The two mile hump outside in the wastelands of Midgar was a bit more pleasant this time around, however, as the rain had cleared and left the men in a relative sense of peace for most. Others were still in a subdued shock of Elici's death from three days prior. That was until Kunsel began barking at them during rifle qualification, and all minds either tumbled out of that sense of peace, or reeled away from the subdued shock.

They knelt in a line of twenty-eight, aiming their assault rifles at the targets a few of the 3rds that tagged along had helped set up for them. They just chatted behind in a semi-circle with Kunsel, once he ceased his barking, and the men commenced unloading magazines into the paper targets.

The firefight roared through the air, scaring off any potential monsters that dared to lurk around, save for the one that curiosity got the better of, and it soon learned never to mess with a SOLDIER. The semi-circle was disbanded, took care of the curious monster, and then reassembled continuing their nonchalant conversation. Eventually the men realized they needed to be keeping score on all of the target practice. They spread out among the men, jotting things down and making the unit nervous under their scrutinizing gaze.

Kunsel began to walk the line of men, observing their positions, studying the placements of their hands and head while aiming. He nodded in approval as they continued to fire, some hitting their target, others hitting the rocky terrain behind. Those were the ones Kunsel barked at, of course.

He reached Graves and just shook his head, passing him up, as his mark was impeccably frightening. Up to Ratcliff, now. His aim was slightly off, but his shots were all grouped together quite nicely. Consistent, and if that had been someone's chest, there would have not much left over of it afterward. And then Cloud

Kunsel stopped, his jaw becoming a bit slack. He glanced down at the young cadet, who'd never really had a bad score, necessarily, but neither did he have an outstanding one like Graves. But here he was, sweat rolling down his brow as his head was tilted into his right shoulder, looking through the cross-hair at the tip of the barrel, each bullet he fired hitting remarkably where it should have been - right in the center.

The look on his face was rather disturbing, however. Haunted, void, intimidating. It was as if he were imagining the target to be the face of a certain someone. Kunsel chuckled inwardly and continued down the line, reminding himself to commend the boy later, and of course inform Zack of his improvement as Zack was always so eager to hear of it.

He had spoken with Zack earlier in the morning over the phone, who was heading to his appointment to get a Mako injection. He was expecting the 1st to sound somber over the recent loss of his two friends, but his voice was surprisingly upbeat, if not slightly flooded with a hint of suspicious delight.

So Kunsel blatantly asked him if he got laid the night before, and Zack just snorted a laugh at him, responding with a quick insult as usual. He somehow evaded the question which only raised more suspicion in Kunsel, as Zack was usually one to kiss and tell.

And it helped that the walls were thin, and he usually could tell when Zack had a lady over as he seemed to be a rather impressive lover from the overly agreeable cries coming from his apartment above, when the goin' got good. Kunsel just usually laughed and turned his television on louder to drown out the amorous noises from above, but the volume button only went so high.

But the night before was silent, peaceful. Unless they were using some sort of kinky gag on each other, Kunsel was fairly certain something else was going on with his suddenly secretive and quite content friend.

Kunsel, being the nosy person he was, wanted to get to the bottom of it as soon as possible, if Zack wasn't going to tell him himself.

"Alright, that's it guys! Let's head back to the barracks!" Kunsel ordered as ceasefire finally settled over the plains. "Go ahead and take the rest of the day off when you guys get cleaned up. Start your liberty early. Just be back at the barracks Saturday night at 2100."

An excitement fell over everyone, but they refrained from showing it as the 3rds were still stalking around, inspecting them. When they walked off, they all seemed to relax.

"Let's go!" Kunsel said, and everyone stood in a collective shuffle as they formed their pack. Kunsel watched as everyone marched past him, and then joined up at the back. The sooner they got back, the sooner Kunsel could grill his friend in his lighthearted-more-than-usual behavior.

 

~*~*~

"And I'm fuckin' tellin' ya that prick Mejia had somethin' to do with Elici's death!" Graves was now shouting, all of the men in the barracks staring wide-eyed as he was nose-to-nose with a very angry Ratcliff.

"Lower your goddamned voice before an officer comes in, yeah!" Ratcliff said, twisting his head slightly, his blue eyes flashing with anger.

"I fuckin' can't believe yer in denial over this!" Graves threw his hands up, nudging even closer into Ratcliff, his large shoulders rising upward as if he was about to shove him. "Look what that _fuck_ did to Cloud! Ya honestly think he wouldn't _kill_ Elici!? He was the one who told the Brass about the assault in the barracks! The fucker's got motive! Don't be so fuckin' stupid!"

Ratcliff shot a glance over to Cloud, who stood right beside them. He expected him to be shrinking and looking as if he were about to cry, but instead he stood there as if he were about to jump into the confrontation himself. Ratcliff had forgotten that the young boy told him in passing that he used to get into fights when he was younger back in his hometown, so this must have been nothing new to him. He couldn't imagine such a sweet person acting like that, however, but then again people change.

"Knock it off, you guys," Cloud said in a tone they hadn't ever heard him use before. He was absolutely seething at this point and it showed. Ratcliff could hear several people making bets on who would kick whose ass in a fight. He just ignored them.

"I ain't gonna stop 'til this fucker admits that Mejia killed Elici!"

"I don't know what to think, alright!?" Ratcliff attempted to control his ragged breathing, but it was hard. His blood was boiling in his veins at Graves. To bring this up in front of everyone, and this soon. And especially in front of Cloud.

"I swear I will kick both of your asses if you don't stop," Cloud warned, but it fell on deaf ears. Ratcliff knew Cloud could probably take him on as he was lanky like Cloud, but Graves was a different story. The man's strength and build was unreal. He was as tall as Zack, and his muscle tone was like that of Angeal Hewley's. He could probably just pick Cloud up by the scruff of his neck like a kitten and toss him aside effortlessly.

Boots squealed against the tile floor, arms were brought up, and thrusts were thrown out against the shoulders of another. And soon the two men were grappling, releasing grunts of anger and exertion. Hands scuffled through each other's defenses, grabbing onto any part of their opponent through shaking rage. Uniforms were bundled in fists, several punches were thrown haphazardly, and knees were brought up into each other's abdomen. Many curse words were spilled.

Cloud hurled himself into the fight, ducking down through the rapid movements and attempting to wedge himself between the larger men. He pressed his back up against Graves' chest from underneath his large arms while he pushed against Ratcliff in an effort to pry them apart. "Knock it off!" he yelled, voice muffled between them. He strained against the two as if he were being slowly trapped between two moving walls of fury and blind rage. He could feel them parting as several other men joined him, grabbing the men from behind and hoisting them off of each other.

"What the fuck was that all about!?" Cloud said, standing up as the two men bucked and growled at each other like fighting dogs. Cloud wiped at his face, feeling a warm liquid running down it. He reached up and touched a hand to it.

"Oh shit," Graves said through labored breaths. "Ya okay?"

Cloud looked down at his hand, blinking curiously at the blood on his fingertips. "I'm fine, I don't feel anything."

"Let me take a look, yeah." Ratcliff shrugged off the men who were holding him captive and ran a hand underneath Cloud's hair that hung in his face, fearing that he tore open his healing wound from a week prior. He pushed his head side to side, leaning into him to see better.

More blood ran down his face and he had to close one of his eyes as it drizzled across.

"Where does it hurt, yeah?"

"Nowhere, Ratcliff." He tried pulling away from Ratcliff's motherly hold. "Let go of me."

"Hey jackass," Graves said.

Ratcliff twisted Cloud's head around through his boyish protests. "It's got to hurt somewhere, Cloud, yeah?"

"Jackass!" Graves said again.

Ratcliff threw his head up. "What!?"

"Yer the one bleedin', fucker." Graves nodded his head at Ratcliff who finally released Cloud's head from his hands. "I decked ya good, too. Right in the brow. Gonna leave a real nice scar."

"Go to hell, Graves, yeah." Ratcliff grumbled to himself, pressing a hand to his brow which was leaking quite a bit of blood. It was a wonder he couldn't feel it.

"I'd tell ya to suck my dick but ya'd prolly enjoy it." Graves scoffed and walked past them, shaking a head, seemingly unharmed through it all. He was just forcing back the limp, however, as Ratcliff had kneed him pretty good in the thigh.

"What a monster, yeah." Ratcliff sat down on Elici's bed, putting his head in his hands.

"Love ya too, sweetie," Graves just called from across the barracks as he made his way to the showers.

Ratcliff removed one of his hands from his face and flipped the man off silently.

Cloud was at his side, holding out his washcloth. Ratcliff took it, mustering forth a rather shaky smile.

"Thanks." He waited until Cloud sat down next to him before he began cleaning Cloud's face with it, having no intention of cleaning his own first, since it was his blood on Cloud's skin.

"Ah jeez, what the hell!" Cloud jumped up, growling at him. "For once think of yourself! You look like shit." He just wiped at the blood with his hand instead.

Ratcliff laughed, his shoulders bobbing. He folded the cloth several times and obeyed, pressing it against his brow. "Not like we haven't gone through that before, yeah."

It was true; they had gotten into a couple of scraps before, but none that were this heated. Punches were thrown, derogatory names towards sexual preferences were called, and groins were kneed. Blood was never spilled, however. Cloud had seen these before, but Elici was the one to break it up. And when the fights were between Graves and Elici, Ratcliff was the one to break it up. But there were never fights between Elici and Ratcliff, as they both were fairly passive towards each other. Graves was just the key factor in it all. Sometimes Cloud thought that he actually enjoyed picking fights with his friends, almost like asserting his position among them.

"It'll blow over, yeah," Ratcliff reassured the blond, as the face that he was expecting Cloud to wear earlier as they were fighting was now crawling onto his face, a bit late for duty.

"Do you...really think Mejia killed him?" His voice was low, sorrowful.

It was past the point of apologies for Cloud now, and Ratcliff just simply shrugged. "I don't know, Cloud. I really don't, yeah. They're still investigating. The man's been M.I.A for two days now. He could be dead too, yeah."

They fell silent for several moments.

"Go clean yourself up, Cloud. Don't worry about me, yeah." He just waved a hand dismissively at Cloud who was frowning.

But Cloud obeyed, walking into the shower area. Graves was already underneath the falling water, his hand kneading his right thigh and muttering to himself angrily.

Cloud stripped down and joined him several shower heads away, attempting to create an invisible wall, in hopes of deterring him from talking as Cloud knew Graves could never simply just talk.

"Fuckin' idiot's blind."

Cloud's little invisible wall was just that. Invisible.

"Can ya believe this shit, Cloud!?" He was shouting over the hiss of the shower heads of course, but was mostly shouting just to shout. "Mejia killed Elici, both you and I fuckin' know that."

"I don't know that," Cloud said, a bit coldly as he stuck his head under the water and rinsed away Ratcliff's blood on his face. "It's still being investigated."

"Aw fuck you Cloud, ya know that mother fucker killed him! Elici's the one who ratted Mejia out for tossin' yer ass against the rack!" He was scrubbing his head vigorously with his fingers, lathering up his fuzzy black hair. "Don't be a little bitch 'bout this."

Cloud just scoffed, choosing to ignore him until the man calmed down. He closed his eyes, enjoying the hot water flowing over him, rinsing away the tension in his body over the incident. The heat of the shower engulfed him, reminding him of how he felt in Zack's arms the night before, and it caused a small smile to break out onto his face.

And his mind went to their kiss. The feeling of their tongues lapping at each other, the sound of Zack's breath being released through his open mouth as they explored feverishly. The feeling of Zack's arousal pressing against his groin as Cloud grinded against him.

Cloud opened his eyes, feeling the familiar warming sensation between his legs. He immediately reached for the shower knobs and turned down the heat. He grimaced, the feeling of the cold water pelting his skin as it did what it was supposed to. He relaxed, giving Graves a quick glance to see if he had noticed his growing erection, but the man had his eyes closed and his head tilted back, rinsing out his hair.

Cloud quickly began to do what he needed to do to get himself cleaned up. He was excited as Kunsel had given them the rest of the day off. He hoped that Zack was free so he could wander over there and spend some time with him.

"Fuck, man!" Graves was suddenly screaming as he threw a fist into the tiled wall before him. "He had motive, Cloud!"

Cloud let out a very low, steady sigh.

"He left Elici for dead!" He threw an open palm into the tile, the sound of his skin striking the wall sounding through the shower. He did it again with another curse. "I'm gonna get that mother fucker."

"Goddammit Graves, will you just drop it!?" Cloud found that he was shouting now. He ignored the soap that was running down his face as his eyes were flashing with anger towards his friend instead of stinging from the shampoo.

"Mejia tries to rape ya up the ass and then puts a fuckin' bullet into yer friend's skull, and that's all ya hafta say!?" They were facing each other now, Graves looking as if he were about to rush him and if it weren't for the ire in Cloud's body at that moment, he probably would have been rather frightened for his safety.

"You need to learn to bite your tongue, Graves," Cloud said, his shoulders beginning to shake from the immense wrath he was feeling. He paused for a moment, his breathing making a poor attempt to steady itself. He began to speak again, his voice cracking in his throat. "Saying all of this won't bring Elici back."

And that was what caused Graves to finally realize what he had said to Cloud, and his face fell. Hard.

"Cloud, shit I'm sor-"

Cloud cut him off. "Don't bother, Graves. Saying 'sorry' won't stop you from doing it again." Cloud slammed the knobs shut, his body shivering from the cold water he forgot he had left on. His skin was riddled with goose bumps. He threw his towel around his waist and left the shower before Graves could say anything.

But he didn't. He just stood there in the falling water, his eyes cast down to his bruised thigh.

Maybe biting his tongue wouldn't have been that bad an idea.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

## ...To be continued in Chapter Eleven: Melody.


	11. Melody

~*~*~*~*~*~*~  


# Chapter Eleven: Melody

  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"Dude, why are you staring at me like that?" Zack was wearing a very uncomfortable look on his face.

Kunsel was peering at Zack with sharp eyes. "You should know me by now, Zack. I like to know everything, and there's something with you, that you're not telling me." He leaned in closer, but Zack just leaned further back into the leather couch, trying to escape Kunsel's ever intense stare.

"Seriously, there's nothing going on. And seriously, you need to stop looking at me like that." He relaxed as Kunsel eventually obeyed, and just opted for plopping himself down on Zack's couch next to him instead.

Kunsel let out a suspiciously content sigh as he kicked his legs up onto the coffee table, folding his hands behind his head. "It's cool," he chirped, nonchalantly. "I figured it out anyway, right now."

"Right now?"

"Yep," he said, stretching. "I have you all figured out, my friend."

Zack laughed, the tendril of hair that hung in his face swinging across his eyes as he shook his head. "Can't imagine what you could've figured out seein' as there's NOTHING to figure out to begin with." He leaned forward and grabbed a bottle of water off his table and took a short swig of it. "I'm no different than any other time you see me."

"And that's exactly why I know something is up," Kunsel said confidently.  
More laughter from Zack, almost spitting out the sip of water he just took into his grinning mouth. "What are you possibly basing this on?"

Kunsel frowned thoughtfully, his hand stroking his narrow chin as he stared off at the front door. "You seemed unusually happy this morning when I spoke with you on the phone."

"Don't I always?"

"Yes, but this morning was different. You just got back from your mission at the Icicle Inn. I heard about what happened to Essai and Sebastian." He looked to Zack, his hazel eyes conveying his condolences, but he tried to keep the conversation lighthearted with his cunning smile. "When you're upset about something, I can always tell because your voice is a lot lower, and about three decibels softer. And when you talk, there's a downward inflection to your words which suggests something is bothering you."

"I'm filing a restraining order against you."

Kunsel laughed heartily, but ignored this comment as he continued. "I know that there's something up. So go on, confess to your ol' pal Kunsel what's making you smile so big." He turned his head, his own smile creeping back across his face, trying to urge Zack into spilling his secret.

Zack just laughed a bit nervously, but tried to play it off as feigned annoyance. "I've got nothing to tell you, Kunsel. There's nothing going on with me."

"You just lost two of your close friends, and you're telling me there's nothing going on behind that smile?"

Zack's eyebrows furrowed as he looked away from Kunsel to the television in front of him. He suddenly felt very guilty for the obvious joy he had been riding on with his growing situation with Cloud, while merely a few days earlier his friends had died in his arms.

Kunsel frowned then, realizing what he had said. "Hey, you don't have to tell me anything, Zack." He reached out and gave him a small punch on the shoulder. "I shouldn't question you."

Zack shook his head. "No, it's okay. I'm...just..." he began, but stopped as Kunsel was leaning towards him in anticipation, as if he had finally cracked Zack's will.

"...Yes?" Kunsel urged.

"Will you give it a rest!?" Zack said, while laughing.

"Zack Fair, you _will_ tell me about this new lady of yours!"

Zack sputtered, refraining from laughing at Kunsel's oblivious accusation that it was a woman that was making him so elated. "I don't know what you're talking about."

Kunsel folded his arms across his chest, shrugging confidently. "Lie to me all you want, Fair. I'm not moving from this spot until you either admit you've got a new girlfriend, or that girl herself shows up knocking on your door wantin' a piece of you."

"You've gotta be kidding me." Zack scoffed, shaking his head.

"One or the other, buddy."

Zack fell silent, chewing on his bottom lip nervously. His eyes fell over Kunsel, who was just leaning back against the couch staring intently into the door as if he were expecting someone to just manifest from his hopes alone and knock on the door.

Kunsel was one of his best friends, but Zack didn't think that he would ever understand or even accept his relationship with Cloud. He'd probably scare Kunsel away, despite their loyalty to each other's friendship. Then again, Zack wasn't even really sure what type of relationship he had with Cloud to begin with. Things were a little unclear. All that he knew was that he was quite content with whatever was going on with the blond boy.

And as if all that intense staring from Kunsel had actually worked, there was a knock at the door.

Kunsel jumped to his feet roughly, thrusting his arm out at the door in the most excited fashion Zack had ever seen him in. "I knew it! Who is she? Is it Aerith again!?"

Zack scowled, heaving himself off the couch angrily at the conveniently timed knock. He stomped over to the door and motioned for Kunsel to sit back down as his hopes were soon to be dashed rather quickly.

"Oh. It's just Cloud," Kunsel said as the door was opened to reveal a disheveled-looking blond on the other side. He plopped back down on the couch with a very, very heavy and defeated sigh.

"S-sorry." Cloud lowered his head, but his eyes were still cast up and looking at Zack worriedly. "I didn't know you had company."

"It's just me, Cloud. C'mon in." Kunsel kicked his leg up onto his knee and leaned back.

"Yeah." Zack narrowed his eyes at Cloud, looking him over. He looked as if he had dressed himself in a rush, as his shirt was caught inside the waist of his pants, and his normally spiky hair was wet and matted into his face. His shoes were even untied. Zack took notice of the civilian clothes he was wearing, and forgot that his liberty had started, as Kunsel mentioned. He was wearing just a simple black t-shirt that greedily clung to his forming muscles in his chest over a pair of dark wash jeans. Zack licked his lips unconsciously at the sight. He hadn't really seen him much in civilian clothes, let alone with his hair dripping wet and plastered against his face.

Zack wondered if this was what Cloud would look like after a long night of passionate sex. He cleared his throat, realizing that he was staring a bit too long and a bit too hungrily at him. He stepped aside and waited for Cloud to enter.

And he did with a nod, and kicked off his white sneakers he wore that were barely broken in, as he didn't get to wear them often. Either that, or Cloud was just being his usual neat-freak self and kept them incredibly clean. And that neat freak placed them so tidily next to Kunsel's boots.

Kunsel frowned at Cloud, who had his eyes glued to the floor in a very sheepish manner. He lifted an eyebrow at him. "Something wrong, Cloud?"

Cloud's head shot up, unaware of the apparently distressed look he wore, and gave a very superficial smile. "N-no sir. I just came by to..." He trailed off, unprepared with an excuse. His face fell immediately.

"What happened?" Zack peered into Cloud's face, frowning at him.

"Nothing, sir." Cloud shook his head, and Zack only rolled his eyes at the lie, and the formality in front of Kunsel.

"I'll tell you what happened." Kunsel stood up and walked to Cloud with his arms still folded against his chest. "Graves and Ratcliff were fighting, weren't they?"

Cloud shook his head quickly, not wanting to rat out his two friends to their superior. He knew they would be in trouble with Kunsel, and possibly lose their liberty, if not more, for getting into a confrontation. "No, sir. They weren't. I just..." Trailed off again, once _again_ unprepared.

"Those idiots are always bickering about something. They must've done something stupid to get you this pissed." Kunsel sighed, walking over to the door as he bent down and gathered up his boots. "I'll go check it out. Don't worry, Cloud, I won't let them know it was you who said anything."

"Kunsel-" Zack began as Cloud stiffened, but Kunsel cut him off.

"Yeah, yeah. Don't worry, Zack. You don't know these two morons as well as I do. I'll find out that something happened, whether or not Cloud says anything anyway. I'm sure one of them is bruised up. Bruises tell all, right Cloud?" He motioned down to the fading love bite Zack had left him on their first night together, and Cloud's hand was slapped to his neck in shock.

"S-sir!" He forgot that his neck was exposed out of uniform.

"It's okay Cloud, at least someone is getting some action around here." He finished tying his boots and he stood, grabbing for the door handle.

Zack frowned at Kunsel angrily, but this just invited rude laughter from the man.

"I will find out about it eventually Zack. I always do, you should know that by now." And he shut the door behind him, his devious laughter fading down the hallway as he left.

Zack let out a very frustrated groan, and pinched his fingers over the bridge of his nose in annoyance. "That freakin' idiot."

"What was that all about, Zack?" Cloud looked up to the irritated man worriedly.

He just shook his head, smiling after his hand was dropped from his face. "Nothing, buddy. Don't worry about it. He's just being weird," he assured, placing his hand on Cloud's shoulder in a brotherly fashion.

Brotherly until he realized that they were alone, and the memory of their kiss from the night before flooded back into his mind. And Cloud must have realized this too, as his face was flushed from behind wet bangs, his lips moistened.

The hand on Cloud's shoulder turned into a gentle rubbing motion, no longer stationery. "Hey," Zack began, his voice low and almost sultry. "You okay?"

Cloud just nodded silently, shifting his body to face Zack fully. "Yeah, they were just...being stupid. It'll blow over." Cloud nodded to himself. "It always does."

"You don't look like you believe what you're saying."

Cloud laughed shortly, and he found himself stepping into Zack's touch even more as it deepened. His eyes closed quickly as Zack's other hand joined in the rubbing on Cloud's other shoulder.

"You're tense," Zack muttered, his eyes watching as Cloud swayed along with the kneading motions on his shoulders. Cloud's tongue darted out and licked his lips. This made Zack purr inaudibly as he took one step closer to the boy, and they were soon bathing in each other's body heat. He arched his fingers up, bringing the taut muscles into his skilled hands, and then slid them down deep along his body. His past lovers always complained to him that his massages were too rough, but Cloud seemed to be enjoying the intensity. He rubbed him for a few minutes, slowly feeling Cloud beginning to melt under his touch.

"They really got you upset, didn't they?" he finally whispered, leaning his head down to Cloud as he spoke.

An unintelligible murmur was Cloud's response as he stood there moving with Zack's rubbing, his eyes closed peacefully on his face. Zack ceased his massage on the boy's shoulders to lean in and give him a kiss on the lips just as Cloud's eyes flew open to see why he had stopped the relaxing touch. He gasped into Zack's mouth as the first image he saw was of the handsome SOLDIER inches away from him.

And those eyes closed once more as Zack continued to kiss him tenderly. Very steady paced, very calm. Each unhurried kiss sent waves of soft feelings into both of them, conveying the bottled up affection they had for each other.

Cloud's heart began to beat hard with each suckling sound of their lips as they moved. He wrapped his arms around the man's body as their kiss began to deepen in a relaxed pace that was both teasing and maddeningly enjoyable.

Zack softened under Cloud's embrace and he let his hands slide up from his shoulders to hold the sides of his face. Zack's muscles twitched slightly as the cold feeling of Cloud's wet hair touched the skin on his hands, and he slid them up further to play with the strands that hung carelessly about. This touch caused Cloud to faintly moan into Zack's mouth, and Zack replied with one of his own. How he just loved to hear this boy make noises. It drove him absolutely nuts, and it showed as his tongue pushed straight into Cloud's open mouth with a sense of hunger and early signs of lust.

Cloud arched his back, almost pulling away from him as he did so, but Zack's firm grasp in his hair held him where he belonged. He relaxed once more, allowing his tongue to push back, meeting that sense of hunger that filled his mouth, with one of his own. This was followed by another subdued moan, and his hands began to roam Zack's broad back.

An inviting feeling, and Zack mimicked this by letting his tongue roam down Cloud's neck.

Cloud threw his head back and leaned backwards. Zack had to slide one hand behind him to keep him from falling while he kept the other hand gripping into his hair. He began to trail wet kisses down the side of Cloud's neck as he faced the ceiling, squirming under his touch.

And Zack could feel the vibrations against his lips as Cloud let out a rather loud moan then.

Zack nipped the flesh in response, a fire being lit in his body by the seductive sound. He began to lustfully quicken his kisses, mixing in a lapping of his tongue across the heated skin, responding with each sound Cloud made with a combination of his own and an onslaught of pecks and suckling. His hand released its grip from the boy's hair as Cloud began to crane his neck to the side to allow access to Zack's advances.

Now Zack's hands were beginning to skim across the boy's shoulders and chest. It was timid at first, easing his touch along with the intensity of their kiss, testing Cloud to see if he would react negatively to his advances like he feared he would. But Zack was reassured when Cloud began to move his hips against Zack's, thrusting into him with a carnal instinct that he couldn't control even if he knew how. This caused Zack to respond by releasing a lustful growl from his throat as he began tugging at the bottom of Cloud's shirt.

"Up," Zack breathed, removing his lips from the boy's neck momentarily to speak. "Arms up."

Cloud obeyed and his vision was blocked by his shirt being removed over his head roughly. It was tossed aside to the coffee table carelessly as Zack began to push back on the boy, urging him to move to the couch.

But Cloud stood there quietly, and Zack pulled his head back to look at him. He had a look of apprehension mixed with a look of need and desire. His cheeks were flushed with uncertainty, and embarrassment.

Zack chuckled at this expression as his eyes darted down to the boy's exposed chest. He looked so frail at the moment as his shoulders were curled inwards as if trying to hide in himself. Zack had seen him without his shirt on during training, but the aura of the situation was different now, the circumstances of his partially nude body taken to a whole new context.

But that uncertain face changed to nothing short of bliss as Zack leaned down, beginning to trail kisses down his neck to his collarbone. He nibbled a bit at the bone and he could feel the boy beginning to weaken in his grasp.

"Sit down," Zack whispered, coaxing the boy to sit on the couch, which he finally did after a few more pecks at his flesh from the man.

Cloud leaned back, his eyes darting across Zack's with piqued interest. But they closed as Zack sat down next to him and swiftly leaned his head in and flicked his tongue across one of Cloud's nipples.

"Z-Zack!" Cloud tried to squirm away, but strong hands gripped each shoulder possessively, holding him there as he continued to swirl his tongue over the raised flesh. He enclosed his mouth around it, pinching it between his teeth, flicking his tongue along it sensually. He released it after a moment of suckling and he sat back, staring down at the boy who was now slouching over to the side mindlessly under his touch.

So Zack gently pushed him down, and Cloud followed his silent command, nestling himself down into the cushions with glazed eyes. He seemed to buck his hips slightly, thrusting into the air as Zack shifted between his legs. He hovered above him for a moment, taking in the boy's expression of unbridled lust.

Cloud's eyebrows were arched, his eyes heavy-lidded, his chest rose and fell with each nervous breath. Zack could tell Cloud was unsure of what was going to happen, but held a look of excitement behind each small whimper he let out into the air as Zack's hands began to move down to the top of his jeans.

As his fingers latched onto the button, he gave Cloud a glance to find that he had a small smile etched at the corners of his mouth.

"Is this okay, Cloud?" Zack said sweetly before he leaned down and began to kiss Cloud's stomach lightly.

Cloud moaned a reply, arching his back into the touch of his lips that began to move south on his body. He gasped as Zack darted his tongue into his navel, and gave a short laugh while writhing.

"S-stop!" He tittered breathlessly, but soon began to moan once more as the tongue did quite the opposite, and circled the navel playfully.

A chuckle escaped Zack's parted mouth. His hands gripped Cloud's waist, trying to hold him down as he wiggled, but this only caused him to react with more suppressed laughter.

"I didn't know you were ticklish," Zack said, delving his tongue into his navel once more.

Cloud bucked his hips, his erection brushing up against Zack's throat teasingly, for both parties involved. This caused Zack to flick the button on his jeans, and they opened. The tongue was removed from the navel and began to trail down towards the top of his jeans.

"W-what are you doing?" Cloud said breathlessly, panicked, as he lifted his head.

Zack smiled up at him, his eyes glowing in a show of assurance. "If you're not comfortable, just tell me. I'll stop immediately."

"B-but what are you doing?" he said again, watching as Zack's hand began to rub his inner thigh.

That was when Zack realized he really must not have known what he was about to do, or maybe there was a small chance he was feigning innocence, just to be cute. Zack laughed at the boy warmly, his teeth flashing that smile. "I'm not really sure myself, but let's see where it goes. Only if it's okay with you." He watched as the boy nodded, shifting against the couch nervously.

The rubbing hand was removed from the thigh and slowly traced over to the bulge in Cloud's pants. He lowered his hand slowly, his eyes darting up to Cloud's face cautiously as he did this. No signs of resistance or fear, so the hand began to rub him gently.

And Cloud's head was lifted from the couch in a gasp, his eyes widening, but then closing, unsure of what to do. This made Zack laugh inaudibly as he planted a few kisses on his lower stomach before unzipping Cloud's jeans slowly.

It came naturally for Cloud then, as he immediately lifted his hips up so Zack could shimmy his pants down to his thighs. He could tell Cloud was becoming bashful as he was slowly undressed, so he decided to keep as much clothing on the boy as possible to ensure his comfort in the new situation.

Zack lowered his head down, his lips brushing up against the fabric of Cloud's boxer-briefs, taking in the scent of laundry soap and the scent of pre-come soaking into the fibers. Zack kissed Cloud's confined erection, his heart beginning to pound in his chest over the realization of his actions. He hoped that he could remember some of the things Ratcliff had told him in the car ride, as he was usually the one receiving a blowjob, and not giving one.

"You okay, Cloud?"

All that was received as a reply were a few rapid and eager nods of a blond head. Zack's hands began to smooth over Cloud's heaving stomach as he kissed his arousal a bit faster now, trying not to laugh as Cloud responded with needy thrusts and sultry whimpers. He finally hooked his fingers under the hem and began tugging.

Cloud was trembling now, and Zack could feel this through the couch as he once more lifted his hips, allowing Zack to expose him fully. Cloud's head suddenly turned to the side, burying his face into the back of the couch in a shamed and embarrassed reaction to Zack's interested response to his member.

Zack found himself licking his lips at the sight of the stiff shaft laying across Cloud's lower stomach in a soft pillow of blond hair. He hesitated at first, but he had seen his past lovers do this for him, and he knew what felt good and what he liked as a man receiving a blowjob.

After a moment of hesitation, Zack's tongue delved in, starting at the base of Cloud's member and trailed upwards to the flesh under the bottom peak of the head.

"Zack!" Cloud said, involuntarily pulling himself away as he lifted his head. "W-what was that!?"

"I believe that was my tongue," he replied, matter-of-factly. Zack grinned as his mouth hovered above Cloud's hot member, and he pushed him back down onto the couch. Slowly and passionately Zack resumed passing his tongue along the flesh as if he were sensually and teasingly licking an ice cream cone.

Cloud just murmured some incoherent words before ultimately choking out another gasp as Zack guided the tip of his member into the hot confines of his mouth. Cloud's head dropped back down onto the couch lifelessly.

Hot; wet; hot; wet. That was all Cloud was able to muster in his mind as Zack's mouth began to slowly bob along his rigid erection.

Zack pressed his lips down against the hot organ, applying a gentle suction as he moved. He kept one hand at the base of Cloud's member while the other began to massage his inner thigh through the jeans that were wrapped around him still. They seemed to be bothering Cloud as he tried to spread his legs farther apart, but didn't voice any displeasure over it, as nothing but lengthy moans escaped his throat.

Zack hummed a reply to the wonderful noises he was making, and smiled with Cloud's member in his mouth. He began to slide his hand in time with his moving head and this caused Cloud to arch against the couch.

"Zack!" he said loudly, his head shaking side to side in time with the heavy breaths being released from his chest. "S-shit..."

Another sultry hum from Zack as he lowered his head completely down onto Cloud, to where his lips and nose were buried in the soft tuft of hair below his stomach. The hand that was on his thigh was removed and he reached down, cupping Cloud's testicles as he began to suck him deeply. He stroked them tenderly, and this caused Cloud to buck his hips with a startled whimper.

Cloud pried open his eyes to view this, attempting to make a mental note, but was soon denied any brain impulses or thought patterns as all of his energy was focused on the unrestrained cries he was emitting into the apartment, and to the unbelievable sensation in his groin.

Zack's hot tongue began to swirl the head in his mouth slowly, as his hand on the shaft stroked him faster. His saliva acted as a heated lubricant on Cloud, and this caused glorious sounds to be sung by the writhing and fidgeting boy as Zack's hand continued to stroke him.

He could feel the muscles in Cloud's thighs around Zack's body tighten, and the member in his mouth beginning to stiffen even more. He could taste the salty flavor of pre-come in his mouth, but he ignored the odd taste as he continued to pleasure the squirming blond beneath him.

"Z-Zack...I'm....I'm..." Cloud couldn't finish his sentence as a combination of moans and cries came from him in a swarm of ecstasy. He began to toss his head frantically as the lust he felt broke down the confining walls of his self inhibitions, and he reached down, shoving his hands deep into Zack's hair.

Zack could feel him attempting to pry him from his member as he began to reach his limit. He uttered cries of protest from his throat, but the deep thrusting of his hips into Zack's mouth negated any verbal plea from the boy.

Breathless cries, heavy moans, fingers squeezing into the hair of the head that moved so hungrily against him. Cloud arched his back on the couch one last time, before his vision was engulfed in a tingling darkness, and the room was filled with an ear-shattering holler.

Zack let out a short and surprised noise as Cloud released into his mouth with multiple shudders. He could feel the pulse of the member in his mouth as he came, and his senses were muddled with the flavor of passion and release. His hand began to slow in time with the dissipating thrusts Cloud was managing through the bliss, and Zack soon removed his mouth from the softening member with an accomplished smile.

Cloud's eyes were quite glazed. He was shuddering violently against the couch in the aftermath, his hands slowly dropping down to his side lifelessly. His hair was still matted against his face, but from sweat now, as it ran teasingly across his flushed skin.

"Za...ck..." he choked out, his eyes blinking lazily.

Zack wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, his stomach turning a bit from the foreign substance, but he ignored it as he crawled up to Cloud, nuzzling his face with his nose.

Cloud turned his head quickly into him, beginning to plant feverish kisses against his lips crookedly through the depleting high he was riding on. He missed Zack's lips a few times as he could no longer keep his head upright, and it slumped off into the back of the couch with the remaining moans that were flowing from him.

Zack chuckled quietly, reaching down and tugging his underwear back up to his waist, as Cloud was finally coming back to his senses and was more than aware of his exposed body.

"Can you talk?" Zack said through a broad smile as he shimmied the jeans back up and buttoned them for him. He was blushing terribly now, and it was rather endearing. Zack began to zip the pants as well, but as his hand brushed against Cloud's member, he reacted with a terrible shudder, followed by a small breathless laugh. Zack pulled his hands away, smiling. "Ticklish again?"

Cloud just shook his head, his hands now covering his face in a bit of shame.

"C'mere," Zack said, his voice a loving tone. He reached down and grabbed Cloud's wrists, tugging on him gently. "Sit up."

He mindlessly obeyed, and Zack could feel his weakened muscles trembling as he did so. He collapsed forward into Zack's chest. "Zack..." he murmured into him.

Amused lips kissed the top of his head as he wrapped his arms around the boy. "Yep," he simply said to the mindless repeat of his name. He caressed Cloud's bare back and it caused Cloud to bury his face against Zack's body.

"Was that okay, Cloud?" Zack muttered into his hair after he kissed him several more times. Cloud's hair was beginning to dry now and it was perking back up into its usual spikes. Zack nuzzled his face into him, breathing in the smell of his shampoo.

"I...uh..." Cloud stammered, his face plastered against Zack's body sheepishly. "T-that...that was...um..."

Zack just smiled at him, smoothing his hands over Cloud's bare shoulders.

"I...think I need to lie down again..."

"Take a nap then," Zack said, pulling back a bit to take in the sated features of the boy in his arms.

"But...what about..." Cloud glanced down to the erection pressing against him from Zack. "...Well..." He blushed furiously, too bashful at that point to mention Zack's arousal verbally.

Zack just laughed at him, lowering him back down onto the couch as he seemed to falter from exhaustion. "Don't worry about me, okay?" He leaned in, catching Cloud's lips with his in the last remaining bit of suggestive lust that flowed through him. Cloud had had enough for one day, he assumed. "Close your eyes, Cloud."

Cloud nodded, and did as he was told. "Will you be here?" he murmured.

Zack waited until he was sure the boy was asleep before he frowned sadly at him. "Sorry, Cloud." He gave one last kiss to the boy on his forehead. "I have to say goodbye."

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

## ...To be continued in Chapter Twelve: Stay.


	12. Stay

~*~*~*~*~*~*~  


# Chapter Twelve: Stay

  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~

  
He didn't know how long he was asleep for, but the dull, groggy feeling that was washing over his senses suggested that it had been at least a few hours.

The fading light from the day was trickling in between the blinds in the window from the kitchen, and it cast lines of shadows on his hazy surroundings. A clean breath entering his lungs gave him the energy he needed to sit up on the leather couch he had been lying on.

Cloud glanced around, looking through the still apartment for any signs of Zack. He couldn't even remember having fallen asleep after Zack had...

The color in Cloud's face drained completely, the muscles in his bare stomach tightening with the memory of being pleasured by the SOLDIER.

He buried his face in his hands then, embarrassed over himself. The thought of Zack enveloping his member completely into his hot mouth assaulted Cloud's mind, allowing a certain shade of color to splash against his pale cheeks.

And the humming noises that accompanied Zack as he moved with Cloud in his mouth resonated in his head, and now no amount of burying his face in his hands could hide the shame he felt. The lack of control he had then disgusted himself, as the memory of him thrusting into Zack's mouth, and the excessive noises he made, replayed in his mind over and over again. The more he thought about it, the more he became dejected with his own behavior. He was mortified over the possibility that Zack might have been repulsed with him, especially when he...

Cloud let out a groan of disgust, rubbing his face vigorously.

He...came in Zack's mouth.

Never had he had such a strong urge to run far away from where he was.

He lowered his hands as he finally clambered to his feet. The cool rush of air in the space hit him as he stood, and he trembled, wondering where his shirt had gone. The previous encounter had happened so quickly that he had little time to think or even act. Once Zack had begun to kiss him, all thoughts were negated by the pleasing feeling of the man's touch.

Cloud realized through several moments of searching that he really _couldn't_ find his shirt. He poked around the apartment, checking under the coffee table and behind the television stand, but his shirt was nowhere to be found. And where was Zack, for that matter? He rubbed his upper arms in a poor attempt to warm himself, and then his eyes caught a piece of paper hanging on the front door.

 _I'll be back in a few hours. Had to run a mission. Please stay and wait for me?_

A small smile tugged at his face, realizing that perhaps Zack wasn't too offended with him after his unrestrained actions. He noticed a small arrow on the bottom of the page, ordering him to turn it over. Cloud plucked it from the front door and flipped it over, whereupon reading the second part of the note, his face scrunched into a very irked expression.

 _I had a feeling you'd try and leave without waiting for me, so I took your shirt with me. Can't leave without it, can you?_

Cloud crumpled the note in his fist and tossed it behind him onto the couch with an angry scowl. Zack trapped him there intentionally as he knew he would probably run. He was stuck in a rather embarrassing situation. He either waited for Zack to return and face the man he really felt like avoiding, or go out in public...half nude. Either way he was going to be shirtless no matter what he chose to do.

His face was stained in a very strong blush that he was thankful no one else could see. But soon the blush was replaced with a white sheen of terror as there was a sudden knock on the door before him. Cloud froze.

"Mr. Fair, sir?" A familiar voice from behind the door.

Cloud peered through the peephole to see Ratcliff standing out in the hallway. He opened the door slowly, and watched with amused interest as Ratcliff shot him a salute.

"Oh, Cloud." The salute was lowered slowly. "I thought you might be here, yeah!" His eyes darted down to Cloud's bare chest and then quickly looked away.

Cloud failed to notice that, however, as his own eyes were cast to the ground in a sheepish expression as he hid himself partially behind the door. "Y-you were looking for me?"

Ratcliff nodded a few times. "Y-yeah, wanted to see if you were okay after what happened."

Cloud replied with shamed silence.

"Am...I interrupting anything?" His voice was suddenly very curious sounding, and Cloud blushed furiously.

"No."

"Where's your shirt, yeah?"

"Zack has it," Cloud said.

Ratcliff paused for a moment, allowing a rather wolfish grin to creep across his face. "Would I have interrupted anything had I come a bit _earlier_ , yeah?"

Cloud began to close the door on the man. "Goodbye, Ratcliff."

The older man shoved his foot into the doorway, stopping it from closing. "Hey, wait! I'm sorry!" This was followed by a few chuckles. "Let me talk to you, yeah?"

Cloud reopened the door and stepped off to the side warily. "Shouldn't you be at the infirmary for your wound?"

Ratcliff pushed back the long, boyish bangs that hung into his face. "See? We have matching scars now." He revealed a few rows of stitches over his brow, mirroring Cloud's.

Cloud chuckled lightly, opening the door for him completely now. "I don't think Zack will mind if you come in."

"He'd be insulted if I didn't, yeah?" Ratcliff stepped inside, kicking off his shoes respectfully. "You've been here since you left?" he said, sneaking a quick glance at Cloud's upper body as he moved over to the couch. He watched as the shadows of the blinds were reflecting off of his skin, causing the illusion of having fully formed muscles across his chest and abdomen. Albeit abstract, to Ratcliff it was still an interesting sight. But he quickly looked away as Cloud turned to him as he sat down on the couch with a small sigh.

"Why are you here, Ratcliff?"

"Well, I can't stay long. I just wanted to stop by and see if you were okay, and to tell Zack something, yeah." Ratcliff sat down next to him, smiling at him from behind the wisps of his dark blond hair.

Cloud peered at the man quizzically.

"Why don't you tell me why Zack has your shirt, first." Ratcliff grinned, knowing that the look Cloud gave him was meant for Ratcliff to reveal what he was needing to talk to Zack for. But he wasn't about to divulge this information until Cloud explained why he was half nude in Zack's apartment, why his hair was matted behind his head, and why the cheeks on his face were devoured in a reddened shame that only suggested _one_ thing.

"None of your business," Cloud said coldly.

Ratcliff leaned his head back, humming a rather amused noise. "You don't need to say a thing now, yeah."

Cloud threw his head off to the side, the red on his face intensifying. "S-shut up. I-it's not what you think."

"Then why is your zipper down, yeah?" Ratcliff motioned down to the zipper that Zack failed to close due to Cloud's sensitive state after he climaxed.

And the small startled cry Cloud released from his mouth as his hands slapped down onto himself to shield the evidence was enough to confirm Ratcliff's suspicions.

"How far did you guys get, yeah!?" He was too excited for his own good.

"Why are you here?" Cloud snapped in reply as his shaking fingers fumbled to pull the zipper up where it belonged. "Just leave your message and get outta here."

"Okay, okay," Ratcliff cooed, trying to calm the angry boy. "I was just going to tell Zack that Graves and I won't be able to make it tomorrow, yeah."

"Tomorrow?" Cloud narrowed his eyes at Ratcliff.

"You've forgotten, yeah?"

Cloud was beginning to feel very self conscious with himself at that moment and he shifted uncomfortably on the couch. His hands crossed over his chest and clutched each forearm. "Forgotten what?"

Concerned blue eyes watched as Cloud curled into himself. "Zack was going to take us all out, remember?"

"Oh..."

"Kunsel found out about the little...scuffle, yeah. So our liberty was revoked for being hostile with each other. He let us have the rest of the day off today to rest, as well..." He let out a laugh. "I got Graves pretty good in his leg, yeah. He can hardly walk," he said, with an aura of pride. "But tomorrow we're to scrub all the Heads in the building."

"Oh..." Cloud said again.

"Would you believe that the jerk tried reasoning with me, yeah? He said he'd let me scrub the Women's because they're cleaner. Like he was doing me a favor for gettin' me roped into his outburst, yeah. I just told him to fuck off." Ratcliff scoffed, shaking his head. "Once again I get caught up in _his_ lack-of-control."

Cloud suddenly let out a mortified groan, lowering his chin down onto his neck.

Ratcliff frowned at him. He studied the shamed look Cloud wore on his face, and he sat for a moment, trying to form the question in his mind in the lightest possible way. "Did...something happen between you guys that you didn't want to do, yeah?"

"What?" Cloud said, his voice miles away.

"Were you forced to do something?"

"No...it's not that..." Cloud said weakly.

"Then why are you so rattled, yeah? What the hell happened?"

A blond head was shaking rapidly, defiantly. "It's not that, don't worry. I just..."

"Please tell me, yeah. I'm the one to talk to, Cloud," Ratcliff said, his voice soothing.

"He..." The blush was crawling down to his neck. "...We just...u-uh...went...um...d-d..."

"Down?" Ratcliff had to finish his sentence as Cloud's mouth closed indefinitely.

More rapid nodding.

"You or him, yeah?"

There was a moment's pause, and Ratcliff wasn't sure if he'd have to do Cloud's thinking and speaking for him. But eventually the blond opened his mouth slowly, his face twitching in thought.

"H-he...he did," Cloud said.

Ratcliff relaxed, but only a little. He couldn't figure out why Cloud was so disturbed over this fact. It was supposed to be a beautiful thing, not something that caused shame and inward spiraling...

Ratcliff let out a long sigh through his nose. "You weren't ready, yeah." He confirmed finally. "Not so soon after you were..." Ratcliff trailed off. He didn't want to say the word.

"No, it's fine," Cloud said, partially lying. He wasn't quite sure himself if he had been ready or not, but it just felt right with Zack. "It's just that...I acted...I..."

Ratcliff laughed rather loudly. "You enjoyed it?"

Cloud's hands cupped his face with another groan.

"Nothing wrong with that, yeah. Don't be ashamed."

Another horrified groan.

A few minutes passed between them silently, the only sound of Cloud's breathing echoing between his palms was heard in the apartment. Until the sound of another apartment door closing outside in the hall vibrated through, rather loudly.

This sound sparked a question in Ratcliff's head. "Were you loud?"

Cloud was still for a brief second, but then slowly nodded with his hands still pressed against his face.

"That's good then, yeah!" The sound of paper being smoothed out could be heard from Ratcliff, but Cloud just ignored this, and then ignored the chuckle that came from the man.

"What?" His hands were slightly lowered.

"Lets Zack know you like what he's doing, yeah." The paper was turned over a few times, crumpled up once more, and then placed back down onto the couch where it was found.

"Can we just drop this?" Cloud said, the hands returning to their original shamed positions.

"I just want to make sure you're okay, yeah."

"Fine."

Ratcliff frowned empathetically. "I've been through it all, Cloud. Don't you forget that, yeah?" He stood, deciding not to give him the usual friendly pat on the shoulder. "And if you're not ready to do something, then just say so, yeah. It may suck for Zack at first, but he'll be patient for you, I promise, yeah." _I would be_. He frowned at himself.

Cloud just nodded through his hands.

"Well I gotta go," Ratcliff's voice was muffled suddenly as clothing began to rustle. "Gotta start preparing for scrubbin' the Heads tomorrow, yeah."

Cloud felt something warm being placed down on his lap.

"Tell Zack that I'm sorry that we couldn't join. But you go ahead and enjoy your date with him tomorrow, yeah."

 _Date...?_

This caused Cloud to finally peel his hands away as he looked up to Ratcliff, who now stood shirtless in front of him.

"Ratcliff?"

He smiled at him warmly, motioning down to the plain white shirt which lay in Cloud's lap. "In case you wanted to run, my friend."

 _Date._

Cloud then smiled back, shaking his head. "No, it's okay." He threw the shirt back to Ratcliff. "I think I'll stay."

 

~*~*~

  
Tseng and Zack parted solemnly once they reached the main lobby of the Shin-Ra building. Not much was said between them during the mission they delegated out to themselves earlier that day. Tseng was silent out of respect for Zack, who still seemed troubled by his loss. The Turk, in a rare instance, had decided to accompany him to the burial of Zack's two friends he had lost, as it was not long after Zack's tragedy with Angeal that it had happened. Zack looked like he needed someone with him during that difficult time, and Tseng felt like he had to watch over him.

He didn't want Zack to do anything rash, but there was a part of him that just sensed that Zack needed some support. This, of course, Tseng would vehemently deny until he was the one being buried in the ground. He simply just informed Zack that he only went with him to make sure the SOLDIER didn't do anything stupid, but of course Zack knew better.

Tseng never really smiled, but his eyes held a certain light to them at times. That's how Zack could always tell he was lying about his true intentions. It wasn't very often that he did this, but it was there, regardless.

And now the SOLDIER slowly made his way back to his apartment, hungry, lonesome, and eager. He attempted a mental bet with himself on whether Cloud had stayed or not, knowing that there was a possibility that Cloud would remove himself from Zack's life for a few days out of anxiety and confusion over what had happened between them.

But Zack, knowing that this could be an outcome with his insecure friend, wouldn't have changed a thing. He smiled for the first time in several hours as he thought of Cloud, and it felt good. The boy's warm kiss, his soft skin, his unique taste, all were pleasant thoughts that fueled the smile that had been missing.

His eyes closed in a teasing memory of the noises that the boy had made from Zack's actions. The inhibitions that Cloud usually put forth in his demeanor were wiped clean with the instinct that flowed from his pleasured body. Each arch of his back and each sharp cry he emitted gnawed its way into Zack's mind, keeping the embers of his affection burning steadily for the young one.

The ding of the elevator pried his eyes open and he exited; the feeling of his legs moving nonexistent. And each beep of the keypad on the door to the SOLDIER floor, as Zack entered in his code, reminded him of how close he was to possibly being with Cloud once more. He began to grow anxious as he waited that tiny millisecond for the green light on the keypad to light up and for the lock to disengage. And when it did, he slapped the handle down and barged through the empty hallway, a little overeager.

Zack took a deep breath and held it in as his hand hovered above the handle to his door. He was nervous, and excited all at the same time. This was a test for himself and for Cloud, to see if Cloud trusted both Zack and himself enough to stay with him. After everything that had happened between them, Zack needed to talk to the boy to just reassure him, and himself, that where they were going was right. There was no reason to be scared.

And as Zack entered his apartment, his shoulders sank at the awfully quiet place. The lights were off, the television untouched; the couch was cold. Nothing but the sound of his own breathing cut through the deafening silence as he realized Cloud had run.

"Damn," he said as he slipped down onto the couch. His eyebrows furrowed as his bottom lip retreated into his mouth to be nibbled on by nervous teeth. He felt the muscles in his body weaken in defeat, finally succumbing to the debilitating effects of the adrenaline that had coursed through him from the pent up anxiety he had been feeling.

He looked down at his crumpled note he had left the blond, and he frowned at himself. Maybe it was a mean thing to do after all. Zack just wanted to make sure Cloud was there for him when he came back from burying his friends near the Icicle Inn. The two day wait from the autopsies had been torture, and then the actual burial felt burdening on his shoulders. He needed Cloud's company, in all honesty.

"Oh, Spikey..." Zack said, cupping his face in his hands. "I'm sorry..."

"You should be." A young voice from behind.

"Cloud!" Zack scrambled to his feet in that eagerness that didn't seem to want to leave him. His eyes scanned up the blond who was holding a hanger in his hand with one of Zack's casual shirts he hardly had time to wear. "You're still here!" He blinked at his own excitement, and then cleared his throat, lowering his voice to a somewhat less than ecstatic tone. "You're here, I mean. A-and I'm glad."

Cloud just smiled at him tenderly, but his eyes were down at the floor.

Zack took an amused note in his head that the boy was still shirtless and didn't seem as bothered by it like Zack thought he would be.

"H-how was your mission?" Cloud asked quietly, slipping the shoulder of the shirt onto the hanger.

Zack frowned briefly, but forced himself to change it to a smile. "It was okay. Tied up...some loose ends." He walked over to the boy and could see the flush on his face as he neared. "What're you doin'?"

"N-nothing..."

"Were you looking for a shirt to wear?" Zack said.

Cloud just shook his head, turning away in embarrassment.

"Yeah you were," he confirmed for the both of them. "I'm sorry Cloud, I shouldn't have done that."

"N-no...it's not that." He shifted on his feet as Zack tried to step by him into his own room, but was blocked by the nervous boy.

"What _are_ you doing?" Zack peered over the shoulder of Cloud who was now facing into the doorframe.

"I-I was hoping I'd finish before you came back..." Cloud began, his voice unsteady. "I'm sorry, I just...couldn't help myself."

Now Zack was more than interested, as he gently moved the boy aside, stepping into his room. The fresh scent of laundry soap hit his senses as he entered, and his eyes fell upon a very particularly folded pile of laundry sitting on the bed, waiting to be hung in his now organized-by-color closet. "What the hell?"

"I'm sorry, Zack. I...got bored." Cloud's voice was muffled behind his hands.

Zack chuckled as he stepped into the boy, surrounding Cloud's slumped frame with the strength of his embrace. "You're neurotic."

"I know," Cloud admitted, sheepishly, nuzzling into Zack's chest. He scolded himself as his heart began to slam in his body, and he was more than aware that Zack could feel it.

But Zack just smiled, placing a cautious kiss down onto the blond's head. "You could always watch TV when you're bored." He felt Cloud shake his head against him. The feeling of Cloud's heartbeat made him close his eyes, absorbing the life that emitted from the pulse.

Cloud's muscles twitched as he tried to pull away, testing the deepness of the embrace. He wasn't sure if it was a simple greeting, or something more. But the firm grip that the SOLDIER placed around him was making it quite clear as to just what type of hug this was. So Cloud relaxed into it, sliding his arms up around Zack's waist.

"Thank you, Cloud," Zack whispered.

"It didn't take me long "

Zack cut him off. "No, I mean for being here."

"O-oh." He was sure he must have been blushing terribly as his face was burning. Cloud tried to pull away, embarrassed, but Zack held onto him with a strength that suggested that Zack was in need.

"Just...a little longer, Cloud," Zack whispered into the top of Cloud's head, his arms squeezing the boy's shoulders almost painfully.

The uniform the SOLDIER wore was gritty, it was drenched in the scent of loss, of suffering.

Zack smelled of the earth and snow.

 

~*~*~

  
Cloud had to be the one to break the embrace as his legs were beginning to become numb from the awkward position he was pressed into.

After a moment of embarrassed chuckling, and through the pain in his eyes, Zack mumbled something about taking a shower and disappeared into the bathroom.

"You cleaned in here, too!?" Zack said, his voice echoing against the gray tile of the bathroom. "Damn, Spikey! You can be my housewife!"

Cloud scowled quite fiercely, although Zack couldn't see this. "Shut up, ass."

The sound of the running water began and then the sound of the leather belts he wore unbuckling filled the apartment. They dropped to the ground and Cloud could hear Zack's moan of approval.

Blue eyes closed, his own content noise flowing from the depths of his throat at the sound Zack had made. A small burning sensation was developing in Cloud's groin, a memory of earlier that day ripping through his mind. His stomach turned into a rather impressive knot at the same time his cheeks turned to a rather impressive shade of red.

"Wanna join me?" Zack's voice was suddenly next to Cloud's ear, his breath caressing his heated skin.

And all the muscles in Cloud's body went into shock as those blue eyes opened to the sight of Zack standing in nothing but a towel slung lazily around his hips. "W-what!?" Cloud choked on the saliva that somehow made an unwanted trek into his airway. He began to cough violently, this all the while only making his face turn into a deeper shade.

Zack repeated himself, sounding quite serious about it.

"S-shower?" His voice squeaked out. "T-together?"

Zack glanced down to Cloud's lap, which was showing the stiff evidence of Zack's amorous question. Or perhaps it was there before he invited him into the shower. Either way, Zack was grinning down at the boy who looked a mixture of interest and fluster.

"T-that's not funny, Zack," Cloud said, his hand covering his mouth, but then went down to his erection to cover that instead, when he saw Zack's eyes lingering a little too long. "Please, stop staring."

A purr came from the SOLDIER as he squatted down next to Cloud who was shaking slightly on the couch. The towel around his waist opened with his knees that bent outwards and Cloud had to refrain from glancing out of curiosity. "You didn't mind my staring earlier," he said, his voice very low and seductive.

"Please. S-stop."

Zack stood, frowning down at him sympathetically. "Okay, I'm sorry."

Cloud realized that he might have offended Zack with his behavior once more. He forced himself to peel his gaze away from the void he was staring into, and looked up at Zack with eyes that lied with a smile. "I...already took one today, thank you," he said.

The man nodded a few times quietly as he turned. He entered the bathroom and was mentally kicking himself. He realized that he might have offended Cloud with his behavior once more.

Zack entered the shower, letting the hot water run down his tired body. His tired and aroused body. He admittedly was still quite turned on from the incident with the blond earlier that day. It helped him drive himself through his solemn day and gave him a reason to press on through the pain that enveloped his heart.

A moist tongue darted out and licked the lips that were longing to be back on Cloud. His mind couldn't tear away from the sharp yell of the boy that coursed through his ears as the boy came into his mouth with his needy thrusts. It made Zack's eyes flutter closed with a hint of a moan at the thought.

He was unaware that he was stroking himself.

"Zack?" Cloud's voice was like a slap to his senses.

He jumped, his hand stopping on his length as he suddenly realized what he was doing with Cloud in the apartment with him. He glanced down at himself and frowned. Going into this type of relationship with someone as troubled as Cloud, Zack knew that he was going to have to be patient. He truly cared for Cloud, and he would do whatever it took to make him comfortable. Even though Zack was getting a bit restless as of late with the teasing kisses they shared.

"Y-yeah?" Zack said, his voice quaking a bit. But that was remedied with a quick clear of his throat and a repeat of the word through the noise of the shower.

"Where did you put my shirt? I'm...cold."

 _It's really warm in here...come join me._

"I hid it in the cabinet above the refrigerator."

"I can't reach that!"

"I know, that's why I did it."

Cloud just muttered something dejectedly to himself as he disappeared from the bathroom, leaving a rather nervous Zack standing in the shower. He had hoped his shadow cast through the shower curtain wasn't too noticeable as he had a _very noticeable_ erection in his hands.

After a few minutes of resisting pleasuring himself with the memory of being intimate with Cloud, Zack managed to calm himself  and his _other_ self  before finishing what he originally set out to do with his shower. He always enjoyed the smell of his shampoo. It was spicy; sultry. A nice balance to Cloud's fresh and liberating scent, he imagined.

Zack dried himself off slowly, a frown forming on his face. He wrapped his towel loosely around his waist, and scooped up his clothes that were covered in dirt. He poked his head out into the bathroom, and he could see the cabinet slightly ajar. He exited the bathroom, not bothering to dress himself fully.

He knew this would have violently embarrassed Cloud, if only he had bothered to stay.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

  


## ...To be continued in Chapter Thirteen: Business Card.


	13. Business Card

~*~*~*~*~*~*~  


# Chapter Thirteen: Business Card

  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~

  
Cloud frowned as he walked down the corridor near the chow hall. His shirt was wrinkled, as Zack had haphazardly tossed it into the cabinet, and now it smelled of dust and wood. He would get him back, somehow.

He entered the chow hall, surveying the line and the chalk-written menu. He wanted to bring Zack something hearty to eat for after his shower, as he seemed a bit somber and lethargic from the mission he had returned from.

Cloud walked past several members of his unit who were leaving, and they gave him friendly slaps on his shoulder, commending him on his rifle score from earlier that day. He had completely forgotten about his personal improvement from his previous score. He wondered if Zack had heard of it yet, as sometimes the man always seemed a step ahead of him, even when it came down to his own personal affairs. Cloud grabbed an empty tray and began the nerve-wracking task of trying to guess what Zack would like to eat.

"Hello, Cloud." An oddly familiar voice cut through Cloud's mind as he sidestepped along in the chow line. Cloud turned, his heart skipping uncomfortably in his chest.

It was that blonde psychologist.

"H-hello, Ma'am," Cloud said through a mouth that hardly moved. His eyes darted against her gentle face as he swallowed hard. Why was she talking to him? And why was she here in the chow line with a horde of adrenaline-riddled men? She had a tray herself and had chosen nothing but a simple salad. Maybe she just liked to people-watch.

Her eyes glanced down to Cloud's tray and studied the choices he had picked, as if she were assembling in her mind a diagnosis about his psyche by food choice alone. She made him very nervous. But she just smiled at him as their eyes met once more. That made him especially nervous. "How have you been?"

Cloud looked to his right, hoping that the line would start moving a bit faster so he could flee from this conversation altogether, as he had a feeling that it was about to turn into more than a simple greeting in the cafeteria. But luck was not on Cloud's side as someone at the head of the line was arguing with another about taking the last pudding cup.

"I've been...okay." He cursed himself, as 'okay' was a rather open-ended statement, and this could allow for her to dissect said word a bit more. Perhaps he should have just lied and said: 'I'm peachy, lady. What of it?'

But she just continued to smile at him warmly, and shuffled alongside him in the line. "Glad to hear that. And glad to hear your voice, finally."

"Um...what?"

She gave a quiet laugh, her hand covering her mouth as if to punish her light-hearted reaction to his boyish confusion. "You didn't say much to me, last time we talked."

Cloud frowned.

"So speaking to me now is quite the improvement."

One step forward; two steps back. Cloud fell silent.

"I was disappointed to see that you didn't come to our scheduled appointment last week. You were supposed to come and see me. Did you forget?"

He just mumbled an apology. He hadn't forgotten; he'd deliberately avoided it.

"You can stop by my office any time you want, Cloud. Whenever you're comfortable."

"No, thank you," Cloud said, mumbling.

"We could talk about whatever you'd like. It doesn't have to be about anything in particular," she said, smiling at him still.

He figured out why she made him so uncomfortable at that moment. She reminded him of his mother. He missed her dearly, but like a lot of things in his life, he avoided her. "I...don't have anything to talk about."

She looked a bit disappointed after hearing this, but still held that benign expression on her face. "I understand."

Did she, really? Cloud just figured she was programmed to say that.

The line began to move and if it hadn't been for that, he would have bolted then. He loaded up several types of side dishes into the foam boxes on his tray, at this point not even wanting to take the time to think about what Zack would like. He just wanted to get away from the seemingly judgmental eyes of the psychologist. He stopped at the dessert section, and his hand hovered above two different flavors of gelatin cups.

 _Crap. Cherry or_ 

"Strawberry," she said.

"What?" Cloud peered at her with a dubious look on his face.

"He'll like the strawberry one."

His heart stopped dead in his chest, once more, and he cursed the woman and her uncanny ability to crawl so easily beneath his skin. He paused for several seconds, his hand beginning to shake above the gelatin cups. A bit ironic to be trembling like that over _gelatin_ , of all things.

So he skipped the dessert.

After a few uncomfortable moments of silently shuffling beside each other, Cloud finally reached the cashier and was for once more than happy to pay for the expensive meals he had plated. Usually he hated paying for them as they were a bit pricey for the quality, but it seemed like a heavenly beacon in the darkness of the awkward encounter with this woman, and he happily obliged with the total price so long as it meant his ensuing escape.

"Wait, Cloud. Let me give you something," she said before he could make a hasty retreat back to the safety of the corridor.

He bristled at her voice, but found that his muscles obeyed her and he stopped, turning around slowly. His eyes were staring down into the pile of boxes in his hands. Whatever he had stacked on the bottom was piping hot, and he hoped that she would just hurry and give him whatever she was going to give him, so he could adjust the boxes promptly to prevent receiving a second degree burn caused by a lasagna.

His eyes, staring at the foam box, had to readjust as something thin and rectangular was placed on top of it.

"I feel that it would be in your best interest if you came and saw me, sometime."

He frowned down at her business card.

 

~*~*~

  
He had always hated the word 'monster', as Angeal had used it often to describe himself and his transformation. But Essai and Sebastian...

What they were turned into, there was really no other word that would be fitting.

'Ravens', he recalled, was what the Turk he was with on that fateful mission referred to them as. A result of yet another deranged and sick experiment conducted by yet another deranged and sick man of the world.

Zack's SOLDIER friends, Essai and Sebastian, had been captured by AVALANCHE in an attempt to mutate them into Ravens to fight in the ongoing battle against Shin-Ra. The result was Zack holding them in his arms as they died.

Zack grumbled in his sleep, turning on his side. He hardly ever dreamed as he slept, but when he did it was only in nightmares.

The front door was pushed open by a young blond who was performing a balancing act with foam boxes once more, albeit this time around it was a few less. His eyes fell upon Zack who was facing into the couch cushion, still wrapped in his towel.

Cloud's heart jumped in his chest as the sound of the door caused Zack to stir and the towel slipped off his body, revealing a nice view of his backside. Cloud nearly dropped the boxes onto his feet. His face was red, and almost as hot as the food in his hands. He set the boxes down onto the coffee table, and quickly picked up the fallen towel and threw it over Zack's waist, averting his eyes. He was not expecting to come back to find the SOLDIER asleep on the couch, let alone asleep and naked.

He turned his head back, and was a bit mortified that he had missed with the blind tossing of the towel. He hesitantly reached down, picking the towel back up from off his thigh where it had landed, and draped it slowly across his waist once more.

Zack stirred again, groaning. He murmured something that Cloud couldn't quite understand as he began to curl on the cushions.

Cloud walked around to the side of the couch and squatted down, resting his chin on the arm of the couch, watching Zack as his eyes squeezed tight. He was sweating lightly. "Zack?" Cloud whispered.

There was no response to his voice, only Zack's soft breathing against the leather could be heard.

Cloud frowned, reaching over the arm of the couch to touch Zack's face. He brushed a tender hand across his brow, and the touch seemed to relax him. This simple reaction to Cloud's caress made the blond feel a combination of awe and empowerment, and he continued his gentle movement along his skin.

Zack moaned softly, the eyes that were darting about frantically beneath his lids now slowing, his troubled mind as he slept being slipped away from the nightmare by Cloud's loving touch. He sighed then, pressing his head against Cloud's hand.

A warm smile crossed Cloud's face as he began to caress Zack. His fingers played into his black hair, running through the wet strands that clung to him, taking an amused interest as they began to perk up into its usual spiky style. He thought of how he'd pushed his hands into the man's hair earlier, as he ran his mouth along Cloud's stiff length...

Zack suddenly hummed a pleasurable noise, and then muttered the blond's name.

Cloud's hand stopped, and his face turned red. The noise was a very similar noise to the one he made when Cloud released into his mouth. Zack was smiling, and quite conveniently licked his lips as he slept.

Cloud mimicked him, eyes locked onto the sleeping man's face. His hand resumed its touch, which resumed the subtle yet sultry noises from Zack. He muttered his name once more. Cloud wasn't sure that he had really heard Zack saying his name, but it was confirmed when Zack repeated it a third time, and his lips mindlessly kissed Cloud's palm, which still rested against his face.

 _Is he...dreaming about me?_

"Zack," Cloud said, his voice firm. As much as he didn't want to wake the man, he could hear his stomach growling rather loudly as he slept.

"Is that lasagna I smell?" he said, groggily, catching Cloud off guard. Zack hadn't even stirred when his senses were roused by Cloud's voice and touch.

Cloud stifled a laugh, pressing his mouth up against the arm of the couch.

"Uh huh."

"Why're...you laughing at me?" He finally rolled onto his back, opening his eyes to see Cloud hovering above him. He hadn't noticed when the towel slipped off and landed onto the floor.

Cloud noticed this, however, and his face reflected his embarrassment. He put his head down into the arm of the couch. "N-no reason. B-brought you some dinner..."

Zack sat up, too groggy to realize how exposed he was, or how bashful Cloud was because of it.

Cloud lifted his head slightly, his eyes flickering down to Zack's backside before he turned and swung his legs over the side. Zack grunted softly, realizing he was naked, and quickly grabbed the towel on the ground and draped it across his lap.

"Sorry, Cloud," he mumbled.

"N-no, it's okay." Cloud stood quickly and began opening the boxes for him. "Got some good stuff tonight."

"I love Friday's menu. Especially the strawberry gelatin."

Cloud pursed his lips together and shot Zack a very amusingly shamed look. "Oh...well...about that."

"Uh oh," Zack said, already tossing a fork into the nearest box. "Forgot the dessert?"

"May...be..." Cloud said, almost in a sing-song way.

"I'll have to find _something else_ for dessert, then."

Cloud knew the meaning of that innuendo, but he played innocent. "I can go back and get you something before the chow hall closes. I think I have a few minutes."

A chuckle flowed from Zack's throat as he stuffed in a rather impressive forkful of lasagna. "No," he said, once swallowing, "you stay right here." He watched as Cloud bit his bottom lip, not out of shame, but possibly from the thoughts that Zack could see running around behind his eyes. They were most likely the same thoughts behind his.

They both stared at each other, almost uncomfortably, for several moments before Cloud cleared his throat and looked away.

"You must be tired from your mission. I should probably go..."

"I'd really like you to stay for a bit longer," Zack said, frankly. "If it's the lack of clothes that's bothering you, I can-"

Cloud cut him off, looking at the door longingly. "It's not that."

 _Oh so it's not a problem?_ Zack tried to suppress the grin that threatened to surface on his face over this thought. "Talk to me, Cloud." He patted the spot on the couch next to him, and watched as Cloud's muscles twitched as if his body were trying to urge him to comply with Zack's enticing gesture.

He really did want to stay with Zack, but he was unable to control his natural urge to run in a situation like this. "No, I'm okay right here."

"C'mon." His voice took a higher pitched tone, soothing. It was almost baby talk, and this Cloud was very surprised to hear coming from such a man. It apparently did the trick as Cloud found himself joining the SOLDIER on the couch. Zack had a look of accomplishment over this. He immediately scooted closer to the nervous boy, after he set his dinner down onto the table in front of him.

"N-not hungry?"

"I'll get to that in a minute." His arm wrapped around Cloud's shoulder and pulled him into his chest. "You're a bit more important than dinner." He couldn't stop the smoldering look in his eyes from showing. The thought of the blond had plagued him all day; it was maddening.

Cloud struggled for a moment in his arms, but eventually realized that Zack wasn't about to let him go, once more. "A-about tomorrow..."

"I have a few places in mind for us," Zack said lowly, dipping his head down and brushing his lips against Cloud's. "Don't worry about that." A brief thought of being too forward with Cloud crossed his mind, and he paused his actions. But when Cloud's lips pressed back  perhaps more forceful than Zack's had been -- he resumed his tender advances.

A small moan came from Cloud, despite his outward stiffness during their sensual moment. "Z-Zack," he said, through their moving lips.

Zack just hummed an ambiguous reply as he pushed his tongue into Cloud's mouth, as if he were quieting him. Which was far from the truth, however, as Zack was hoping to rile up more of those wonderful noises from the blond that just ignited his lust so easily.

Cloud could taste the lasagna in Zack's mouth, and he began to feel hungry, not realizing he hadn't really eaten much that day. What a strange time to realize it. Of course, he could tell how hungry Zack was, as his stomach still grumbled angrily. And, of course, he could tell how _hungry_ Zack was, as the towel across his lap was no longer laying flatly.

They kissed slowly, and Zack probed at Cloud's uncomfortable demeanor with his tongue, allowing his hands to roam across the boy's body. He started at his shoulders, passing down his spine in a light touch that caused him to release one of those noises into Zack's mouth. Then they skimmed up to his face, and he pulled away almost reluctantly.

Cloud began to speak, but stopped as his head was forcefully turned to the side, and Zack's mouth was suddenly latched onto his earlobe. Cloud wiggled, and twisted against him, the feeling a bit shocking to him at first. He soon found himself smiling as Zack's tongue entered his ear, and he could hear Zack's breath against his hearing. He laughed quietly, but this was followed by a moan as his tongue passed along each ridge in his ear. His body just seemed to melt.

 _I think I found his weakness!_ Zack continued zealously, pushing Cloud's hair out of the way to gain better access. He had to wrap one arm back around his shoulders once more as Cloud began to slump into the couch beside him. With each breath that Zack released into the blond's ear, it caused a shudder to wrack through his weakening body. He soon became invalid, his eyes fluttering closed, his muscles non-existent.

This just caused Zack to purr and pull him onto his lap. Cloud willingly followed, sliding onto him mindlessly. He could feel Zack's hard erection against his own, and Cloud pressed himself into it.

Zack released his first moan of the night, pulling his head away from Cloud's ear to momentarily enjoy the feeling, as the thin towel didn't do a very good job at blocking the sensation. He gripped his arms around Cloud's shoulders, slowly thrusting against his body, wanting so badly for the towel to be gone, and for Cloud's clothes to be gone as well. And this showed in his face as his teeth were gritted, and his eyes were reflecting what almost could have been mistaken for anger, if Cloud wasn't so sure that it was lust.

"Don't tease me like that, unless you plan on doing something about it," Zack muttered, nipping at Cloud's throat.

"I...can't help it," Cloud said as he tilted his head back, allowing Zack to have full access to his neck. His face felt incredibly warm, his vision blurred up at the ceiling as Zack purred once more against him.

"I like it, when you can't help it. Like how you were earlier." He nipped at him again, his hands beginning to tug at Cloud's shirt. "You enjoyed it, right?"

Cloud didn't respond. He was too embarrassed at this point by Zack's comments. His body did the responding, however, as he grinded himself against Zack's lap once more.

 _Maybe...with a little coaxing_. Zack grasped Cloud's hands that were stiffly pressed against the back of the couch on either side of Zack's body. He urged them down, placing them carefully on his lower stomach. Zack just couldn't help it.

Cloud stiffened, whimpering in protest, but when Zack released his hands, they remained dangerously close to his erection. Zack squirmed beneath Cloud's weight, as if silently telling him to grab hold.

And he did.

A nervous bottom lip was retracted between his teeth, as a nervous hand slowly began to stroke Zack's arousal through the towel. Zack groaned, his stomach flinching from the sensation. The first touch was always the most sensitive. He continued apprehensively, and Zack watched with amused interest as his face began to turn bright with embarrassment.

After a few relatively silent moments, only interrupted by the occasional pleased grunt from the SOLDIER, Cloud's movements became more relaxed, more sensual. With their eyes locked on each other, Zack cautiously began to remove the towel that was keeping him from feeling the softness of Cloud's warm hand.

"N-now what?" Cloud said, as his eyes trembled, refraining from glancing down to Zack's lap. He blindly felt for the stiff member and wrapped his hand around it, his gaze never leaving Zack's.

"Well..." Zack cleared his throat, as his voice came out a bit shaky through his quickening breath. "Y-you can do whatever you feel comfortable doing." Of course, he was hoping for Cloud's mouth, but his hand did feel quite good.

Cloud just stayed still, his eyebrows slowly rising on his worried face. His tongue darted out and moistened his lips as a few thoughts were tumbling around inside his head. Zack tried to read into his facial expressions, but when Cloud remained inanimate, he decided to help.

He wrapped his hand around Cloud's tenderly, and slowly began to move their hands together along his member. "Like this..."

Cloud nodded, and at first he seemed reluctant with his taut muscles in his hand, but soon as Zack's eyes fluttered closed from pleasure, Cloud continued on his own. He watched as with each stroke of his hand, it caused the SOLDIER to become more and more limber beneath him.

"Am I doing this okay?" Cloud said as his hand began to move faster along.

Zack just groaned in reply, his head falling onto the back of the couch. His hands slipped onto Cloud's thighs and gripped him tightly, wanting a bit more than just his hand. But he calmed himself, as he could still feel a slight tremble though the boy.

Cloud took this opportunity to lean forward, after mustering a bit of courage, and he began to kiss Zack's exposed throat. He could feel the man gasp against his lips as he kissed him down from his jawline to the crook in his neck.

Fingers began to dig into Cloud's thighs, as Zack's teeth began to grind in building frustration. He thrust his hips into Cloud's hand, and could no longer restrain the growl that had been threatening to be released. "Cloud," he said, breathlessly. "Please."

Cloud pulled away, but kept his hand moving between them. "D-did I do something wrong?"

"No, feels good..." he trailed off, contemplating just being outright with him and telling him how much he wanted to be sucked off by those lips he loved so much. Ever since Cloud had been dangerously close to his groin the day he helped him bandage his thigh, the image of the blond between his legs was never too far off from his mind. It was beginning to become somewhat of a fantasy for him.

 _Don't scare him, you idiot._

Of course, Zack was never quite good at connecting his thoughts with the actual words that came from his mouth, at times. "Can you use your mouth?"

 _...You idiot._

"Really...? Uh..." His hand stopped. "H-how...do I...I mean, where do I..."

Zack squeezed his eyes shut, angry at himself. "Sorry, never mind what I had said..."

"No, it's okay," Cloud whispered, and Zack could feel him beginning to slide off his lap and onto the cushions next to him. "I'll...try."

Zack flinched once more as the boy's hand again grasped him. He forced his eyes to stay open, watching as those soft lips were moistened once more before the tip of his member was brought to them. His heart began to slam into his chest, his stomach began to flutter in excitement. And each nerve in his body tensed, waiting for that hot mouth to consume him.

Then a fearful noise came from his lap, however, and the nerves in his body gave up on themselves, and ceased to stand at attention.

"What's wrong?" Zack asked, his voice concerned.

"I'm sorry, Zack. I can't do this!" Cloud released Zack's erection and sprang to his feet. "N-not right now."

"Cloud, it's okay," Zack began, draping the towel back over his lap. "Come here, it's okay."

"N-no...none of this is okay. We...shouldn't be doing this."

Zack got to his feet, wrapping the towel around himself as Cloud rushed to the front door. "Cloud, please," he pleaded softly as he grabbed Cloud's wrist before he could open the door.

Cloud tugged on his arm, but Zack wasn't about to release him. "Zack, let me go."

"If you want to leave, that's fine, Cloud. I'll wait for you."

Cloud stopped struggling, and his blue eyes flickered up to Zack's. He went to speak, but Zack pulled him into a kiss. He whimpered briefly in resistance, but soon joined in.

Zack pulled away. "Will I still see you tomorrow?"

Cloud opened the door and slipped out, giving Zack a quick glance. "Yeah...maybe." And it was shut behind him as he left.

Zack sighed to himself and headed towards the bathroom, while tearing off the towel around his waist. He hadn't bothered to dress himself after his first shower, as he'd had a feeling he was going to need another shower that night, whether or not Cloud had stayed.

Particularly, a cold one.

 

~*~*~

  
There was a haze of cigarette smoke around the barracks. It was thick and suffocating. It reminded him of when Mejia had assaulted him.

"Hey, kid."

Cloud jumped at the voice, and his hand failed to grasp onto the door handle of the barracks. He whipped around, his eyes wide.

"Settle down, it's jus' me." Graves approached Cloud after he extinguished his cigarette against the ground with his boot.

"What do you want?" Cloud wasn't in the mood to deal with this man. He still looked fired up from the scuffle with Ratcliff.

"Why'dja run off earlier?"

"I didn't feel like listening to your shit," Cloud said, his voice carrying a very venomous tone.

Graves' eyes narrowed at Cloud. "Not everythin' I say is shit, Cloud. Ya know I'm right about Elici."

"Get to your point."

The man frowned; the look he was giving Cloud was almost a look of humility. His gold eyes glanced away from Cloud as he growled softly. "I jus'..."

 _...Is Graves apologizing?_

"Shit Cloud, I didn't wanna believe it..."

 _...It was a nice thought..._

"After what that fuck did to ya...it's not that far off to think that he'd kill 'im."

A scraping noise came from Cloud's mouth as he began to clench his teeth in annoyance. "I'm going inside. I don't feel like continuing this conversation with you."

"Why ya bein' a lil' bitch?"

Cloud paused as he reached for the door handle. He wanted to tell Graves all the reasons why this particular conversation was bothering him. He wanted to say that each time Mejia's name was mentioned, a sharp pain developed in his head at the memory of that night and was preventing him from continuing his growing relationship with Zack. He wanted to tell him that for each time Elici's name was mentioned, he had to bury the painful tears that begged for release on his face. And he wanted to tell Graves that he should stop concentrating on _how_ Elici died, but to concentrate on the life that Elici had lived and shared with them as their friend.

"Fuck off, Graves," was all he was able to say, in the end.

Graves watched in silence as Cloud entered the barracks, shutting the heavy door behind him. With a brief frown, Graves heaved the seabag he had leaning up against the wall of the barracks, and swung it over his shoulder.

"Yeah...see ya later, Cloud."

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

  


## ...To be continued in Chapter Fourteen: Train Tracks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More fan-art again! Once more by Djali aka Kitsuchi-chan! http://kitsuchi-chan.deviantart.com/art/Malady-Business-Card-162903569 So SEXY!!!!


	14. Train Tracks

~*~*~*~*~*~*~  


# Chapter Fourteen: Train Tracks

  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~

  
"I swear, Graves, you _will_ face a court-martial for that." Elici watched with eyes that attempted to penetrate Graves' common sense, and penetrate through what little conscience the man actually had.

The large man growled, the thunderous and intimidating noise rippling through the cave. "Don't be a douche, Elici. They won't notice if one stupid materia is missin' from the rest."

Elici replied with quite a formidable growl of his own. "You really have no shame, do you Graves?"

"Can't say that I do," Graves said nonchalantly. He pocketed the glowing materia into his uniform without a single ounce of hesitation.

There was an eerie silence that fell upon the group, and only the sound of moisture dripping from the stalactites in the cave could be heard. The men shuffled a bit as they stood watching each other; the air was becoming thick between both Elici and Graves.

"Guys, can we please not start this right now, yeah?" Ratcliff rubbed his eyes from beneath his issued helmet. Sometimes the two caused a rather impressive migraine to form. "Mejia will notice if there's one missing from the collection. He's been keeping track of the ones we find, Graves."

"Shaddup, Ratcliff. Stay outta this." Graves adjusted his assault rifle over his shoulder. "Mejia didn't see shit. That fuck's up ahead with Strife, probably barkin' his damn head off at the kid."

"I will report this," Elici said, his voice firm.

"Ya ain't gonna say shit, bro."

With gritted teeth, Elici narrowed his eyes at the man who seemed so confident in his loyalty to him. Elici's loyalty to the company delved a bit deeper into his sense of morals, however. "I'm going to say this one more time, _bro_. Put the damn materia back, or I will report you to Mejia."

"Ya need to loosen the fuck up, Elici." Graves closed in the gap between Elici and himself with a single stride. Elici stiffened, tugging down his uniform blouse before stepping forward, coming nose to nose connected with Graves.

Ratcliff stood and watched. He shifted, uncertain of how to react to the confrontation that was forming. "You know, if I wasn't so sure you two were fighting, this would be really hot, yeah."

"Shut up, Ratcliff!" they both said in unison, their gaze never leaving each other.

"Well, I tried, yeah. Don't expect me to clean up the blood afterwards." Ratcliff sighed dejectedly, and sat himself down on a boulder to watch the impending fight. He had lost count of how many fights he'd had to break up between these two, and was now becoming numb to them. It would be considered a strange day if the two _didn't_ get into some sort of argument. At times, he'd picture them to be an old married couple bickering, to help through the intensity of the fight. But after a while, this mental image about the two began to sour his perception on marriage.

He wished that Mejia had paired himself with Cloud, as he was much more pleasant to be around compared to these men; _barbarians_ , as he would often refer to them as. Ratcliff never fared well against such short fuses.

And these fuses were lit, and crawling dangerously close to the blasting cap of their anger. Shoulders were squared; chests were puffed out in a show of bravado and testosterone; jaws were clenched and prominent.

"Sometimes I wonder if ya even consider me as a friend. Ya'd narc on me any chance ya got, wouldn't ya?"

"I don't have to explain myself to you, Graves. When I'm in this uniform, I answer to no one but Shin-Ra."

"Yer such a fuckin' tool."

"Speaking of _tools_ , we are under orders right now, yeah?"

"Shut up, Ratcliff!" Once again, this was said in unison.

Ratcliff began to bounce his leg nervously; agitated.

"I fuckin' bet, if it came down to it, ya'd never have my back, would ya?"

Elici scoffed, turning his head to peer at Graves even more closely, attempting to intimidate the larger man, although not even Sephiroth himself could probably cause a ripple in this man's  sometimes unnecessary  blind courage. "Yes, and that's why you're gonna put that goddamn materia back. I'm only trying to protect you."

"Fuck you, Elici, that ain't havin' my back. Sorry excuse for a friend."

A very slow and steady breath was released through Elici's nose, and his shoulders began to sink. He was obviously trying not to get caught up in Graves' rather persuasive emotions. He backed down.

"Ya ain't got nuffin' ta say?"

"Guys, seriously. Stop this, yeah?" Ratcliff got to his feet quickly as Graves once again closed the gap that Elici tried to make, in hopes of deterring him from causing a very physical confrontation.

They squared off, once more. Arms began to rise, and stances were widened.

A burst of gunfire tore through the thick silence in the materia cave, followed by Cloud yelling out in pain. A new course of anger flashed through Graves' face as he turned on his heels and ran ahead, sliding his assault rifle off his shoulders. There was a momentary look of relief in Elici's face, before it was ultimately taken over by concern as a series of pained groans continued.

"What the fuck happened!?" Graves stopped, his eyes widening as Cloud lay on the ground of the cave, curled up in a fetal position and lying in a puddle of his own blood.

Mejia stood by casually, smoking a cigarette.

 

~*~*~

  
A rhythmic and rapid thump resonated throughout swaying surroundings. The air was stale; it smelled of years of constant use and repetitive journeys. The scenery flashed by through the hazy windows, revealing the moving city in the early morning. The faint droning of the engine scratched at the long forgotten dream, rousing a passenger who lay on the awkward and uncomfortable seat.

 _Dreamin' of the damn past. I must be gettin' old._

Graves sat up, groaning at the stiff feeling in his neck. The gentle rocking of the train had lulled him into an unwanted slumber and, before he realized it, it was early morning.

With a hiss, the locomotive pulled itself to a stop at the Sector Seven station, and the occupants began to collect themselves and their belongings to depart. Wary eyes glanced to a Shin-Ra infantryman who was standing by the door, waiting for it to open. He had a look of excitement on his face; he was possibly visiting a loved one in this sector.

 _Must be a nice feelin'_. Graves stood, pulling his seabag over his shoulder, waiting for the conductor to secure the train on the tracks. He saw the infantryman look over his way, and Graves turned away slightly, uncomfortably.

The doors opened and the passengers filed out silently into the brisk morning. Each person went their separate ways, continuing their own lives far away from the monotonous journey of the train. Graves exited, filling his large chest with the air beneath the plate. It was just as stale as the air inside the train.

Graves began to walk toward the heart of Sector Seven. Smoke began to rise from the rickety chimneys of the homes of the townsfolk, and the streets began to fill with a mixture of groggy and dejected people heading off to making a living in the slums of Midgar.

He had been walking through the sector, his ears picking up the sound of footsteps behind him. He glanced over his shoulder, his dark eyebrows raising at the infantryman who walked a few yards behind.

"Mornin'," the man said.

Graves nodded to him, adjusting his seabag over his shoulder.

"You live in this sector?"

"What's it to ya?" Graves stopped walking, turning to face the man.

The infantryman reached Graves, but stopped a few feet away, as if intimidated by him. "You look familiar. Was just wondering if you were from the same sector as me."

Graves frowned, pursing his lips together in an almost irritated manner. "Nah, I dun live 'ere. Just vistin' someone."

The man paused for a moment, a quizzical look forming on his face. "I swear I've seen you before."

Silence hovered over them, and Graves glanced ahead to the heart of the sector. He could see the 7th Heaven in the distance. The lights were flickering warmly through the windows.

"I know! You're in Kunsel's unit, aren't you? I thought I recognized you."

"I dunno what yer talkin' 'bout."

The man frowned at Graves, shocked. "Really? You...you're not in Shin-Ra?"

Graves scoffed, brushing a thumb across his lips as if to prevent himself from showing any sort of emotion as he spoke. "Nah man, I ain't with the Shin-Ra."

 

~*~*~

  
Muscles were burning, his mind was silent. Labored yet constricted breaths were being released through gritted teeth. Sweat was trickling down warmed skin, trying to cool the heated body during the strenuous activity. There was a constant metallic clank sounding from each corner of the large room, and sounds of men reacting to the harsh movements they were enduring mixed between.

Cloud mounted the heavy weight with a quiet grunt. He had no spotter, as Graves was usually the one standing behind him and observing. Graves usually barked out a flourish of encouraging words and demoralizing insults that oddly enough blended together into a rather motivating speech for the young blond. He was able to muster forth the strength and stamina needed to finish the reps with Graves as his spotter, but now, without him, Cloud only managed a fraction of what he normally could handle.

He hadn't slept much the night before, as his behavior with Zack was heavy on his mind. But what had been eating away at him more was his encounter with Graves. He had felt guilty over telling him off, and he wanted to apologize to him. But the man had run off for the night - probably in search of a good time in the town - and he failed to return back to the barracks in the morning.

It wasn't all that unusual for Graves to be skipping out on his assigned punishment. Cloud assumed that Graves was just expecting Ratcliff to cover for him, and he was probably right. Ratcliff was a man to easily and quickly forgive anyone, and would more than likely take the heat for a friend in a heartbeat.

Cloud on the other hand, wasn't so quick to forgive. He was still a bit angered at Graves for his actions and his words, but Cloud decided it best to make amends with the man as, well, Graves had been right.

He didn't want to think about it. He tried so hard to forget the obvious evidence that lay itself out in front of him in a spread of truth and verity over Elici's death. It all seemed to piece together so well that it was quite undeniable that Mejia had planned the entire thing.

Mejia had always been a bit loose; a bit unstable in his actions. He had been court-martialed on several occasions for his recklessness and disregard for the safety of his unit. At first he was required to attend a few training courses, attempting to retrain him in leadership, but it seemed a wasted effort for such a degenerate SOLDIER.

He would order men who weren't strong enough into the most dire situations with nary a bullet, nor strong materia to protect them. His detached and warped views on how these men were just as disposable as the monsters they fared against were apparent when he would leave men behind, or just stand and watch someone struggle with a creature that was too strong. It was like a dog fight - taking mental bets with himself on who would win.

Cloud knew this was all too true. He wasn't quite sure how the man was still enlisted in the army, without being already stripped of rank and thrown in the brig, by now. He had heard a rumor going around that he was from a family with money, and often used that to get himself out of situations with the Brass. Shin-Ra loved their money, whether it be rightfully earned or extorted, clean, or dirty. In the end, it was the same color, and spent the same, no matter what.

"That's all the reps you can handle?"

Cloud jumped at the familiar voice, his head coming inches from crashing into the weight's handle bar that stretched above him. He peeled his eyes open, unaware that they had even closed during his musing.

Zack stood above him, a towel slung across his neck. Beads of sweat lightly rolled across his skin, soaking into the rather tight tank he wore. It didn't leave his muscles much room to breathe, as it was clinging against every one of them. He was smiling gently.

"H-how long have you been here?" Cloud slowly sat up, his own muscles wishing to breathe, but only because of exhaustion.

"For a while," Zack said, grinning now. "Had to burn off the lasagna from last night."

"O-oh." Cloud hung his head slightly, but his eyes were still on Zack's.

"Of course, there could have been _other_ ways for me to burn those calories off." Zack's voice was heavy with such obvious wanton that Cloud couldn't help but grimace at it. He turned as red as the jersey shirt he wore, and his eyebrows knitted.

"That's not funny," he muttered, glancing around to see if anyone was in earshot.

Zack seemed unfazed. "Want me to spot you?"

"No." Cloud swung his legs over the side to stand. He could no longer look at Zack, as guilt over the previous night began to rear its ugly  and all too familiar  head. "I'm done."

Zack was tempted to frown, but he continued to smile warmly at the blond, albeit Cloud was looking away. "You hittin' the showers now?"

Cloud paused silently. He shivered as he could feel his own sweat running down the side of his neck. He hated the feeling of sweat on his body, and he longed to wash it away in the shower. A meek glance over, and Zack looked almost eager for his answer. Cloud wondered what the man could possibly gain from sharing a public shower with him.  
And if he really wanted to take a shower with Zack, he should have done it the night before when the man originally offered. Cloud then wondered what taking a shower together would achieve, anyway. Two grown men standing in a tight area trying to cleanse themselves? They'd be fighting for the single shower head, they'd be bumping into each other while washing; it didn't seem practical.

Cloud was unaware that his body was unconsciously reacting to the thoughts in his head.

 _Oh. That's why..._ Cloud was too naïve at times, and he hated himself for it. He was thankful that he was wearing loose shorts.

"Cloud?"

Cloud realized that he had been silent for quite some time. He hadn't seen when Zack had walked around and sat next to him. Zack was on the end, straddling the bench, and he had his hands in front of his lap as he leaned forward. He had a childish yet flirtatious look to his face; it made Cloud uncomfortable.

"N-no, I'm just gonna grab one back at the barracks," he said, clumsily.

"Breakfast then?"

"A-already ate."

"Lunch then?"

"I don't know..."

"Well, we have to do _something_ on our first date, otherwise it's not a date."

"Oh hell." Cloud covered his face with his hands; he could smell the metal from the weight machines he had been using all morning. "Ratcliff got to you, didn't he?"

Zack laughed, causing several people to look over at them. It was a rather interesting sight, seeing the SOLDIER 1st Class sitting next to an infantryman on a weight bench. One was smiling, with a hopeful look, and the other burying his face in his hands with a suspiciously red glow to his skin.

"I may have run into him in the halls, yes. He said he and Graves couldn't make it, so he wanted us just to enjoy our _date_ together in privacy." Zack began to bounce up and down on the bench. "So c'mon Cloud, just say yes." He was almost whining.

Cloud growled, shifting warily on the seat as it began to shift beneath him during Zack's excited bouncing. "Knock that off."

"C'mon, c'mon, c'mon!"

A very interesting sight, indeed.

"Fine! Just stop doing that!" Cloud jumped to his feet, unable to fight the smile that tugged onto his face.

Zack followed, swinging around the blond to stand in front of him, almost as if he were to block him from running away. Maybe it was to see the rare smile he had that was formed from true feelings. Cloud was never one to give into his feelings that easily, and when he did, his smile was truly bliss to Zack, no matter now small.

"Great! So you'll agree to breakfast, lunch, dinner, and," he said, leaning in close, "dessert, perhaps?" There was that suggestive tone again. But this time, Cloud just laughed.

"Maybe one of those first three. The fourth, you're on your own."

Zack glanced off to the side, briefly frowning. "Yeah, tell me about it," he muttered jokingly, and yet a hint of actuality came through. He did take that second shower, after Cloud had left.

Although Zack had spoken quietly, it was meant for Cloud to hear it. Cloud began to shake his head vigorously. "N-no, that's not what I meant. I just don't like sweets, remember?"

Zack chuckled, placing a hand on his shoulder casually. But the gentle squeeze went unseen by the others who were glancing at them. "I know, I remember." He lowered his voice, leaning into him. "Don't worry about last night, okay? It's nothing to avoid me over."

Cloud was a bit mortified over him saying this, but he just nodded his head wordlessly. He felt as if he had double standards, and it bothered him. They were intimate. Zack displayed his feelings for him in this act, only to have Cloud run off scared when it came down to returning the affection. He was ashamed of himself, and he only wondered how Zack felt, despite those encouraging and selfless words.

"It wasn't fair for you," Cloud blurted, a bit loudly.

Zack was quiet for a moment. "Let's...talk somewhere else, okay?"

 

~*~*~

  
The elevator ride was silent, besides Cloud's uncomfortable shifting. Whether it was from the conversation to come, or the actual ride of the elevator, Zack wasn't sure. The cart stopped on the sixty-first floor, and they exited into the large lounging area.

Cloud followed Zack to a round table, but nearly walked into him as he abruptly stopped.

Zack paused, inspecting the table without a single word. He chuckled to himself and decided to go to another table towards the center of the area. He sat down, grinning widely at the blond who looked almost reluctant in joining him.

"Why'd you change tables?" Cloud slipped into the wooden chair across from Zack.

"I figured you'd want to sit next to the tree." He motioned to the large indoor tree that stemmed from the floor in the center of the arrangement of tables. "I'm right, right?"

Cloud looked a mixture of fluster, and amusement. "Y-yeah. It's...nice." He began sheepishly playing with the drawstrings on his workout shorts.

"Reminds you of home, right?"

More playing, more tugging. If he pulled any harder on those strings, he'd either rip them off, or draw them so tight, he'd squeeze off the blood flow to his lower extremities. "You don't see many trees around Midgar," he said quietly, almost defensively.

"It reminds me of home, too," Zack said.

They looked at each other, both slowly grinning.

"Too bad it's fake," Cloud said.

They laughed heartily together.

But after a few moments, they both quieted once more. They sat, staring at one another while employees buzzed about them, taking up seats nearby and enjoying either eating a meal, or conversing with each other about how they either loved their job, or hated it. It was hard to be neutral, working for a company like Shin-Ra.

"Talk to me, Cloud," Zack said, almost a whisper. He leaned forward, tempted to take Cloud's hand in his own, if it wasn't so occupied twirling those damned strings around his fingers. He was bouncing a knee underneath the table.

"I'm sorry, Zack. For...last night."

Zack's head suddenly dropped to the tabletop.

"Zack!?"

"Dammit, Cloud! You said the bad word!"

"I didn't swear!"

"No, Moogle Brain, the _other_ bad word."

 _Moogle Brain? What the...?_

"Oh...I just...I'll...try next time. I just wasn't...ready yet..."

"It's okay, Cloud, I told you I'd wait for you. I just don't want you to apologize."

Cloud's hands stopped their fidgeting, and fell to rest on his lap. What was he supposed to say, other than an apology? He had strung Zack along, building up the tension between them, only to run away with his tail between his legs. He was still frightened of the feelings he had. He was confused, intimidated. He had never had anything like that done to him before, and certainly he had never done that to anyone before, either. Everything had been happening so quickly with Zack that he barely had time to process a single thought in his head.

Since the incident with Mejia, Cloud felt it harder than ever to have confidence in himself. With the occasional jackass that made some sort of stupid comment to him about the molestation, or the nightmares that found their way randomly into his head while he slept, he just couldn't seem to find his bearings on his already unstable reality.

And then with the death of Elici, he began to reach out to the few who remotely cared about him. Ratcliff was good support, always smiling and sharing his wisdom and patience with him. Graves was a good source of entertaining distraction, when he wasn't screaming about getting some sort of revenge on Mejia for killing their friend, but that began to weigh heavy on Cloud's psyche. To hear his rantings increase over the past few days made it hard for Cloud to be around him.

And then there was Zack.

His arms were always open for Cloud, even prior to these incidents. Ever confident, ever encouraging, Zack's will seemed to seep into Cloud's faltering constitution, filling him with acceptance and recognition of not just a comrade, but as a human being as well. When they battled alongside each other, Zack treated him as an equal, as a partner. He was quick to critique, never criticize. He was the first to inspire, and the last to discourage.

And as a friend, he thrived to show Cloud such a pure geniality that Cloud feared he would never be able to share in return. Even the benign smile that that he gave the young blond, Cloud felt that he would never be able to match. He almost felt undeserving of Zack's affection, and wondered why the man would possibly waste all his efforts and compassion on someone like him.

"Chocobo?"

"What?" Cloud looked around. "Where? In here?" He shifted in his chair, glancing over the entire room suspiciously.

Zack threw his head back, laughing. "No! You."

"What?" He whirled back around in his seat to look at Zack dubiously.

"I'm calling you Chocobo," Zack said so seriously.

"What happened to 'Moogle Brain'?"

"That's only when you do or say something silly."

Cloud sat for a moment, stewing over this. "Wait...what's with the nicknames all of the sudden?"

Zack leaned forward in his seat, his voice lowering to a soothing tone, much like the previous night. It was nearly baby-talk once again, and it caused Cloud's stomach to tighten. "Well, I gotta call you something since you know...we're kinda together."

 _Together...?_ Cloud swallowed hard. "W-why can't you just call me 'Cloud'?" He bowed his head, his voice barely a whisper. His heart was screaming inside his chest over Zack's choice of words. It was surreal to hear.

"Because that's not as fun as calling you by a nickname."

"Well...I don't like it."

"Aw c'mon!" Zack began to scoot his chair next to him. "Serious? You're gonna take that from me?"

"I'm not taking anything from you. I just don't want to be called that," Cloud said, shifting away from Zack as he neared.

"Then what?"

"'Cloud'."

Zack groaned, his head once more finding a place against the tabletop. "You're no fun."

Cloud smiled faintly at Zack's muffled, and rather dejected voice. "Tell you what  you can call me something, but I have to approve of it."

"Great, then I'll never be able to give you a nickname. You'll never approve of anything."

"Exactly."

Zack pinched Cloud's thigh underneath the table. "Moogle Brain."

Cloud yelped, the pinch unexpected, especially in such a public place. "Shit! What the hell was that for, Zack!?"

Several people turned to look at them. Cloud was going to have to get used to people looking when he was with Zack. Whether it was from the fact that Zack was well known and popular or the fact that Zack always did something to cause people to look when they were together, he was sure to gain unwanted attention. And yet, Cloud was still smiling.

Zack began to caress Cloud's thigh beneath the table, almost as if to soothe the area he pinched. "So, dinner tonight?"

Cloud nodded, his eyes staring down at the table, but he couldn't hold back the excitement from showing in his eyes.

"Any ideas?" He gave Cloud's thigh a tight squeeze. How he wanted to be holding him right now. "We can try sneaking in a bar."

Cloud frowned briefly, but nodded his head. "I-if you want..."

Zack sighed heavily then, his hand ceasing to move on Cloud's leg. He frowned at the blond then, and their eyes met slowly. Cloud had a look of guilt and apprehension on his face. "Cloud, did you...feel forced to please me last night because I did it to you?"

Silence.

"...Cloud, please. Just be honest with me," Zack pleaded softly.

"...Yes," Cloud whispered.

Zack nodded his head mindlessly several times, his hand slipping off of Cloud's leg. "I...thought so."

Cloud looked away, ashamed.

"Please don't think you have to do things for the sole purpose of making me happy. Don't force yourself to do something that you're not comfortable doing for my sake."

Cloud turned back to Zack, his blue eyes crawling up to meet the deep gaze of the SOLDIER. "But...wouldn't you do it for me?"

Zack was, for once, silent.

"I didn't mean to lead you on last night. I...really want to try _that_...but...this all just seems so strange."

Zack chuckled lightly, his hand returning to its place on Cloud's leg. This caused Cloud to smile, albeit weakly. The touch sent a small shiver through his body as Zack's hand was warm against his skin. "Don't you think I know that? I'm just as shell shocked as you are about all of this."

"Doesn't it bother you? Don't you think it's a little wrong?"

Zack thought for a moment, rubbing circles on Cloud's leg absentmindedly. "It doesn't bother me one bit. In fact, I'm excited."

"Excited..." Cloud mumbled, looking away again.

"And if it was wrong, do you think someone as smart and confident as Ratcliff would be the same way? He certainly doesn't think it's wrong."

"Yeah..." The smile returned to Cloud's face again, gaining strength.

Cloud really did adore Ratcliff, Zack could tell. He was glad he used him as an Ace in the Hole. Actually, he was glad Ratcliff had suggested he used him as said Ace in the Hole if Cloud were to ever second guess himself when it came to being with another man. Zack was actually glad he knew Ratcliff at this point, because he was a never-ending source of knowledge when it came to this sort of stuff. Zack wanted to talk to him further today, but he had to get to his duties cleaning the Heads. He didn't care, he had said. Cleaning allowed him to get his mind off other things.

"Hey, Zack?"

Zack blinked, unaware that he'd drifted inward. "Yeah, Chocobo?"

A small growl came from Cloud's throat, and his eyebrows lowered.

Zack corrected himself. "'Yeah, Cloud'...I mean." He tittered nervously at the look he was given.

"After dinner tonight...I might be in the mood...for some dessert."

"Really? Great!" Zack leaned forward in his seat, his eyes lighting up at the thought of Cloud finally trying something sweet with him. All kinds of desserts ran through his head. Cheesecake, ice cream sundaes, crème brûlée; hell, even hot chocolate in a coffee shop. Zack never did understand how Cloud could not like sugary treats. Each tempting and delectable morsel was like a gift from the heavens.

"We can find something that you'll like. Cookies? Cupcakes? 'Cuz there's this really great café down on LOVELESS Avenue that sells-"

"I don't mean any of those types of desserts."

"Well, there's pie, or pudding, or you might like tiramisu-"

"Zack," Cloud's voice was firm, and surprisingly confident.

Zack just blinked at the blond for several long moments. His eyes widened as Cloud cleared his throat. "Oh. _That_ kind of dessert." Zack was surprised that he didn't catch onto that innuendo.

Zack was more surprised that Cloud even _made_ that innuendo in the first place.

 

~*~*~

  
Graves left the 7th Heaven around dusk. Elici's wife seemed reluctant to let anyone into the bar while Graves was there. Not because he might have caused a fight, she just seemed...troubled. With good reason, of course.

And he was on his best behavior, for once. He had stopped by only to see how she was holding up since her husband's death. She seemed tired  lethargic, even. Dark circles were heavy beneath her bloodshot eyes; the tip of her nose reddened from constant rubbing. He dare not bring up his theory of how Elici died, but instead brought up some humorous tales of his friendship with him. Even someone as brash as Graves had enough common courtesy to not bring something like _that_ up in front of a grieving widow.

Although bringing it up in front of his friends was different. He knew they could handle it. They were men, after all, and in the army they were taught to suck it up, Cloud being no exception. Sometimes that boy needed to just toughen up and grow some ironclad balls. It would be good for him, in the end.

Graves waved to Elici's wife as she stood in the doorway. He turned, breathing in the same stale air that was there from the morning. It never left; it had nowhere to go beneath the plates that held it in from above. It was like the train tracks around Midgar. It only went around in circles.

Common courtesy be damned. Graves promised her that he'd avenge Elici's murder.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

  


## ...To be continued in Chapter Fifteen: Unnoticed.


	15. Unnoticed

~*~*~*~*~*~*~  


# Chapter Fifteen: Unnoticed

  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~

  
Zack and Cloud parted for the time being. They agreed they both needed showers, for one, and they had some things to take care of before they set out for the town.

Zack wasn't expecting to run into Ratcliff before the gym. But he was glad that he had, as Ratcliff informed him of Cloud's reaction, albeit subtle, to his suggestion that they were going on a date.

"He looked...happy," is what Ratcliff said.

 _Happy?_

Zack left his apartment. He had taken so many showers the past few days  some of which he was getting more dirty rather than clean  that he was starting to have an impressive pile of towels that needed to be laundered. He thought it weird that one of the side effects of his new relationship with the blond boy was having to do more laundry than usual.

It was a strange thought, as he passed through the halls with a stack of paperwork in his hand. Even on his days off, he still had to report for some sort of duty; he was never in the clear. Of course, this paperwork he had in his hands was from the training mission from a few weeks prior. He was surprised Tseng had let him go that long without turning it in. It had been so long that Zack had had to fill in some not-so-accurate details about the mission he hardly remembered, by this point. Everything that had been happening with Cloud lately seemed to wipe his mind clear of anything that didn't have to do with the blond.

But however cumbersome in the long run it was, Zack was still happy.

 _Happy? Cloud is happy..._

Zack was lost in this thought, and he didn't hear Tseng's receptionist informing him that Tseng was currently with someone and was unavailable as he passed by. Of course, this probably wouldn't have deterred Zack from busting into his office anyway. He wanted to get this errand done quickly so he could get back to forming his date with Cloud. He still hadn't thought of a place to take him, yet. Cloud was a country boy; he was timid and bashful. He probably would appreciate somewhere low-key and with a casual atmosphere. Wutaian Barbeque, perhaps?

The door shut behind him, and he stopped dead in his tracks. His eyes fell upon a familiar blonde woman seated in front of Tseng's desk, her legs crossed politely, the glasses on her nose slipping slightly as she turned to see who entered, uninvited.

"Oooh...things are starting to make sense now, Tseng. This explains a lot about you."

The blonde psychologist shifted in her chair, and re-crossed her legs with a soft clearing of her throat. It was almost as if she were distracting herself from Zack's rather humorous comment. However, Tseng stiffly cleared his throat as he stood.

"Sorry, I didn't know you had a session..." Zack said, stifling a laugh.

"Get out of my office right now. It's not what it looks like."

"Just let me turn in my paperwork! I don't want to wait for your hour long session to be done. You do have a lot of issues to work ou-"

" _Out._ Now."

Zack whined. "Please, boss? I'm sorry." He waved the old report around in his hand, as if enticing Tseng. "It's the one you've been waiting for."

"Put it on my desk, then get out." Tseng clenched his jaw, his eyes piercing through Zack. He was sure to get it later.

"Right," Zack said, slipping past the lady to toss the papers down on the desk. "On the desk! I'm leavin' now..." Zack trailed off, his eyes catching an open folder lying in front of the woman. He caught Cloud's name across the top.

"What's going on?" Zack looked to Tseng, who still looked agitated, and then he looked down to the psychologist who was still sitting politely.

"That wasn't part of the deal. You turn in your paperwork, and then you leave."

Zack just ignored Tseng, who eventually realized he wasn't going to win over the SOLDIER's stubborn nature, and he sat back down in his squeaky chair. Zack repeated his question to the woman.

She glanced over at Tseng, who just nodded, as if defeated, and then she smiled up at him...politely. "I was just turning in a report. Not as overdue as yours, of course."

"Of course," Zack said, blandly. " _What's_ going on?" Now Zack was the one getting agitated. "Aren't your reports with your patients supposed to be confidential?"

"This is the Shin-Ra army, Zack. Nothing is confidential," Tseng said.

"How is Cloud, anyway?" she asked.

Zack frowned, not really paying attention to her as he began to sift through the file. No one stopped him. "He's...happy," he muttered, drawing a page up to read.

"Happy?" she said.

He ignored her, still, reading aloud from the file. " _Patient exhibits signs of anxiety and fear towards others._ "

"Zack-" Tseng began, but was cut off by Zack continuing to read aloud.

" _Patient has little self-worth_?" He slapped the report down onto the desktop, a rather perturbed look on his face. "What the hell? This is seriously how you word these reports?"

"For the ones that get sent into the Investigative Department, yes."

"This is dated for yesterday." _I was with him for most of the day. And when I left, I took his shirt. He wouldn't have left without his shirt..._

"He saw you yesterday?"

She paused for a moment, uncrossing her legs, only to re-cross them again. Not that it was actually true, but Zack wanted to at least think in his mind that he was some sort of mental threat to this psychologist and that he could possibly unnerve her with his questioning.

A valiant effort, but quite far from the truth.

"Informally, yes. I may have run into him in the cafeteria."

"'May have'? Are you following him?"

Tseng was pinching the bridge of his nose at this point, and he released a rather long sigh. "Zack, if you're that bored for some entertainment today, I can phone Director Lazard to see if he has some work for you."

"Answer my damn question." Zack glanced between the blonde and Tseng. "One of you just answer it."

"If we answer, will you leave my office?"

Zack gave Tseng a very pointed look. Silence was his reply.

The woman opened her mouth to speak, but it was Tseng who ultimately answered, after several moments. "I'm having Dr. Arolin submit weekly status reports on Strife's mental health."

"Why?" This was more of a demand for explanation than a question.

"To ensure that you are performing at your best."

"...What?" was Zack's cautious reply. Had he heard that correctly?

"That wasn't part of the deal, Zack. We answered, now it's time you leave."

Zack scoffed, folding his arms across his chest as he shifted his weight on his feet. "No. I think it's obvious I don't intend on leaving after something like that has been said."

"Strife cannot serve as a distraction to you. The company needs your focus."

"If this has something to do with Essai and Sebastian-"

"Go."

Zack clenched his fists, but remained silent as he, for once, obeyed. He wasn't about to be mentally analyzed by the psychologist as he stood there bickering with Tseng for any longer. She made him nervous; he knew her mind was constantly at work on picking apart a person's behavior. That was her job, after all.

Zack left the office, defeated. But not after a somewhat satisfactory slamming of the door, however.

 

~*~*~

  
"Mr. Fair?"

Zack stopped his storming down the halls and he turned to see the woman leaving Tseng's office. She hurried over to him, her curly hair bobbing about her shoulders. Zack lifted an eyebrow and waited for her to catch up to him.

"It really is in both of your best interests."

"What, spying on him?" Zack shook his head, folding his arms across his chest again. "I can't see how watching and reporting Cloud's every move would possibly benefit me."

"We're not watching his every move. Look, Mr. Fair, we are concerned for his mental health after the incident and loss of his friend. And we're concerned that, with you being close to him, you will become distracted in your duties if you were to worry about him."

"Well, I won't. So stop spying."

"Please have confidence in us. It really is for his well being. Given his personality traits, he's not likely to seek help from a professional if he were to need it. So we're keeping an eye on him just in case we need to intervene."

"Tell you what. How about you stop spying, and I'll keep an eye on him? I'll report whatever you need to know. That way everyone wins."

She paused for a moment, and then slowly smiled. "I'll see if that can be arranged." She turned to walk back into Tseng's office.

"Hey...um..."

She stopped, slowly turning back to him as he fidgeted uncomfortably.

"Is it...normal for someone who went through what Cloud did...to force themselves to do things they don't want...just to make someone else happy?"

The lady took a few steps forward, lowering her voice as several people passed by, carrying large amounts of paperwork into Tseng's office. No wonder he was always so cranky.

"Some people fear that saying 'no' will result in more abuse. They're afraid that if they don't do as told, or if they do something wrong, that they'll be retaliated against, no matter who it is."

"Well, what can I do? I don't want him doing things if he doesn't really want to."

She adjusted the glasses that began to slip on her nose. "Building trust is the most important step. Since he refuses to speak with me about whatever may be troubling him, you can be his source of outlet. His go-to guy, if you will."

 _Trust...? Oh man. I think I may have rattled that..._

"Building up enough trust will make him more at ease, and more willing to talk about the things that are bothering him. This will promote the healing process."

"So I have to report all the things he talks about with me...?" Zack swallowed a bit hard, growing nervous. If only she knew some of the things that were just recently said...

"No. I want you to keep the conversations confidential. Otherwise how could he trust you?"

"So how do I get you guys to stop playing Big Brother if I'm not reporting the conversations?"

She chuckled at Zack's comment. It was the Shin-Ra army, he should know that Big Brother was always around no matter what the situation. "You realize that we'll still be keeping an eye on him, even with your help? You are a part of the equation, don't forget."

"Should a psychologist really be talking like this?" His arms were folded again.

"I am a person before a psychologist."

Maybe he had been coming across as a bit defensive; a bit hostile. His arms unfolded. "You guys don't need to be concerned with me. He's not a distraction. He's..."

Her eyebrows raised slightly, waiting.

"He's...a friend. One...of the few that I have...now."

She smiled warmly. It almost reminded him of his mother's smile. And that unnerved him again. "We know. That's why we have to make sure you both are taken care of."

"Is this all Tseng's idea?"

"Have a good day, Mr. Fair," she said as she began to walk back towards Tseng's office. "Oh and-" she said as she stopped. She turned to face him. "I'll be expecting your report on my desk by Monday. I just need his behavior, nothing else. And try not to be late with it." She disappeared inside Tseng's office.

Zack scoffed, folding his arms across his chest one last time. "Goddamn Big Brother."

 

~*~*~

  
Cloud had been going to the bathroom a lot. And not because he actually had to go, he was just looking for Graves. Ratcliff had said the two were sentenced to scrubbing the Heads all day as punishment for their scrap with each other. But throughout each bathroom he entered  he'd be damned if he entered the Women's again  Graves was nowhere to be seen. He really wanted to talk to him still.

He decided to call his search off and he began to head back to the barracks to change. A tightness in his stomach began to form as the thought of going on a 'date' with Zack crossed his mind. He cursed Ratcliff for implanting that thought into his head. It wasn't a date. It was just a prearranged social engagement between two people who agreed to partake in a particular event simultaneously.

...A social engagement between two people...who were romantically involved.

Dammit. It was a date.

Cloud hurried his pace, but he couldn't outrun the blush that surfaced on his face from his thoughts.

 _"After dinner tonight...I might be in the mood...for some dessert."_

How incredibly lame. Cloud surmised those words were by far the most tacky that had ever had the misfortune of tumbling from his mouth.

But Zack seemed to enjoy those words, no matter how lame - once they'd sunk in, that is. But Cloud's own words hadn't really sunk in when he had said them. He was disappointed in himself; he thought he had better control of what left his mouth.

And it wasn't like he hadn't thought about doing... _that_ to Zack. It had been in the forefront of his mind for quite some time, now. The teasing, the kissing, the roaming hands  it all fueled an unfamiliar instinct that had emerged from months of harboring an admiration for the SOLDIER. As much as he tried to push these thoughts away in denial, they always seemed to resurface whenever Zack smiled at him, or pulled him into a friendly embrace. At first he thought he was going crazy, but after he caught a glimpse of that instinct in Zack's eye, it suddenly didn't seem that fatuous any longer.

So suddenly _dessert_ didn't seem all that fatuous, either.

Cloud was smiling. It was a small smile, but a smile nonetheless. It was formed by a mixture of competing emotions, all combining from a slew of anxiety, delirium and unexpected enchantment.

A group of his barrack mates watched him as he entered with this unusual expression, and a few eyebrows were raised, but nothing more. Strife was a strange one, they thought. He seemed like a walking contradiction. Everything from his quiet demeanor to his loud, blond spiky hair. He could be surprisingly tough at times, and yet he could be the first one to shrink his shoulders when disciplined. He could be the last one standing in a physical fitness test, and yet the first one to go down in their hand-to-hand combat training. He was a loner, and yet was surrounded by friendship.

Cloud showered quickly, thankful that the sweat from his workout was being washed away down the drain. His muscles relaxed, save for the ones in his stomach which were churning from his thoughts of Zack. He finished, and wrapped a towel around his waist as he headed for the lockers.

He didn't have a large selection of civilian clothes, as even on his liberty he hardly went anywhere. Occasionally he would accompany his friends when they decided to go somewhere  somewhere that he was able to go, as they were all older. They would go to the bar sometimes, and Cloud was left behind. But they would always come back  drunk and happy  and bring something back for him. Usually some sort of fattening bar food that Cloud made faces at, and never understood why they claimed that it would taste better if he were incredibly plastered.

"Getting ready for the big date?"

Cloud flinched, and the towel around his waist nearly slipped off. He fumbled for it, stammering clumsily as Ratcliff leaned against the lockers, grinning.

"Y-yeah, just about to dress. Aren't you supposed to be cleaning the bathrooms?" Cloud looked a bit flustered, and a bit angry at Ratcliff's accusation that it was a date, which it was, despite Cloud's denial. And he looked angry over the fact that Ratcliff was just standing there casually staring at him while he was practically naked. No matter how many times they all had showered together, Cloud would never get used to being nude in front of anyone. He was embarrassed over his smaller frame, compared to everyone else.

Cloud's eyebrows lifted. "Really?"

"Kunsel let me off easy, yeah, seeing as my head's been _jarred_ because of that _caveman_."

Cloud smirked. He always enjoyed Ratcliff's selection of colorful insults he used to call Graves. Graves was less creative in the name-calling, and usually just took vulgar stabs at Ratcliff's sexuality. Ratcliff always stayed composed during the onslaught of insults, but there was always a twinge of hurt in his eyes that Cloud managed to catch.

"Then come with us tonight." Cloud began to rummage through his locker. "It'll be fun."

Ratcliff laughed, shaking his head. His eyes were cast down as Cloud began to change. "No way, this is your night, yeah."

"C'mon. When's the last time we all got to hang out?"

Ratcliff frowned. "When...Elici's family opened the bar."

Cloud stopped changing, lowering his hands which held his shirt. He looked a bit struck by those words. It was true  they hadn't spent time together as a group since Elici's family opened the 7th Heaven. It was a fun night, even when Graves and Elici got into their usual quarreling habits. That time, it was caused by a game of darts. It was a lighthearted bicker, that soon moved to Elici and Graves battling their competitiveness out in how many shots of liquor they could both consume in under two minutes. Elici won by three shots. Graves blamed his shameful loss on heartburn. Cloud just watched quietly, drinking his lemonade.

"Besides!" Ratcliff's voice was suddenly upbeat, his usual optimistic tone. "I might have some plans tonight, anyway, yeah."

"Oh?" Cloud pulled his polo shirt over his head and paused, debating on whether he should leave it untucked or not. He began to tuck it in.

"Yeah! I might have a date of my own. Maybe I'll get to warm someone's bed tonight."

Cloud shook his head, repressing a chuckle. He always envied Ratcliff's confidence and his openness.

"Seriously? You're gonna wear that, yeah?"

Cloud shot his head up, frowning. "What's wrong with this?"

"Do you really want me to list off the seven reasons why you shouldn't wear that shirt?"

"Really? Seven?"

"Well, maybe just one reason. This would look better." He opened up his locker and pulled out a black woven button front shirt, with a faint pinstripe. There was a unique scrolled design down the left breast that would look better suited as a tattoo, than a design on a shirt. It was interesting nonetheless, and it was nicer than anything Cloud had in his locker. "Give it back to me whenever." He tossed it at Cloud, who caught it with a frown of speculation.

Cloud slipped his arms through, and rolled his head back with a groan when Ratcliff began to fold the sleeves up for him.

"This type of casual dress shirt you can pull off wearing the sleeves rolled up, yeah. And do _not_ tuck this in with jeans. It's a relaxed cut, so you'll have a lot of _movement_."

Another groan.

"Although with all the movement, you might not be wearing it for long. Just don't let Zack hide it from you, yeah?" He began to button it for Cloud, but stopped with a laugh when his hands were shoved away.

"Anyone ever tell you that you're annoying?"

"All the time, yeah."

They chuckled together as Cloud resumed dressing. Ratcliff gave a nod of semi-approval when Cloud paired everything with his white skate-style sneakers with the flat sole and wide tongue. It tied everything together in a casual look, and also didn't make Cloud look like he was ten years older than he really was.

"Well, not the shoes I would wear, yeah, but it looks okay, I guess."

"They're all I have, Ratcliff."

"I know. I'm just giving you a hard time, yeah."

Cloud shut his locker and exited the shower area to the main barracks. A few of the barrack mates instantly began heckling him about why such a square as he looked so good for the evening. There were even a few teasing wolf-whistles. Cloud just nervously tittered them off.

Ratcliff tilted his head as he watched Cloud walk off in a rather nicely fitting pair of jeans. His eyebrow lifted with a bit of a wolfish grin on his face. "Cleans up good, that boy." Ratcliff slammed his locker shut, and a door to a nearby locker swung open by the force. He stopped moving as he just stared at the ajar door for quite some time with an aura of unease. He reluctantly walked over to it.

"What...the fuck?" Ratcliff muttered, staring into the locker that should have been filled to the brim with personal belongings, cartons of cigarettes and dirty magazines.

Graves' locker was empty.

 

~*~*~

  
They had agreed to meet in the main lobby of the building, and Zack had gotten there five minutes beforehand, assuming Cloud was the type to be early. He was right, as not a minute into his waiting, Cloud emerged from the elevator looking a bit nauseated from the long ride down the tall building.

Zack grinned as the blond practically stumbled towards him. He could tell Cloud was fighting the urge to cover his mouth and gag, but he looked rather endearing, regardless. "You okay?" Zack laughed as all he got as a response was a shaking of a head, and an 'urk' when he tried to speak.

Cloud stopped for several moments, getting his breathing under control. This gave Zack the time to look him over without having Cloud notice and become bashful. He looked good. Quite good. _Very_ good. And he instantly took note of the dress shirt he wore, with the incredibly convenient button snaps that could be opened with an effortless tug of a skilled hand.

But Zack groaned inaudibly as the psychologist's words plowed through his increasingly perverted thoughts, and leveled them down to an echoing memory of "You need to build trust." How...incredibly inconvenient.

"Okay...I'm okay," Cloud said as he finally straightened. He forced a shaky smile, but Zack could tell he was quite embarrassed over himself. "It's a gross feeling..."

"I wouldn't know. I don't get motion sickness..." Zack said, sympathetically.

Cloud just frowned boyishly, and very ashamed.

"Well, you'll be happy to know I picked a place we could walk to, for this fact alone." Zack was expecting Cloud to be relieved over this, but he just looked all the more upset.

"I'm sorry, it must be an inconvenience," he mumbled, lowering his head.

 _Not the most inconvenient thing tonight, don't you worry._

Zack growled at his thoughts, but then growled at Cloud, instead. "You know, we're going to have to make a game out of this."

"What?" Cloud lifted his head, realizing Zack began to walk off without him. He trotted alongside Zack's swift pace out the main doors.

Zack waited until they began their trek towards LOVELESS Avenue to continue his thought with Cloud. He had decided on the Wutaian Barbeque. In the end, it was the most casual _concept_ he could think of, and yet he knew the place to be designed a bit lavishly. It was going to be an interesting combination of humble cooking, and extravagant decor, and he was anxiously awaiting Cloud's reaction to the whole thing.

"For each time you slip up and say the 'S' word, you owe me a kiss."

Cloud's eyebrows met, and a rather confused look fell over his face. Had he heard that right? "I'm sorry?"

"Exactly."

"N-no. 'I'm sorry' as in I didn't catch what you had said."

"That's twice now, that you've said the word," Zack said, his voice a playful warning tone. He stopped walking, his eyes trailing the amount of people that were around, and he began calculating how many witnesses it would take to embarrass Cloud completely if they were to kiss in public. One would be the correct answer, of course. But he was never really good at math.

"Wait, I'm really confused here."

Zack turned to face him with a grin that made Cloud grow increasingly nervous. "It's really very simple, Cloud." He took a step forward, his eyes burning into the blond. "You have to kiss me whenever you say 'sorry'."

"W-wait...I never agreed to this." Cloud whimpered softly as Zack brought his hands up and gripped his upper arms, pulling him close a bit forcefully. Zack began to lean in. Cloud's eyes darted frantically between Zack and the people around, who were really paying them no mind, but the fact that there were _people around_ made Cloud's heart want to leap out of his chest and run away. Zack was dangerously close.

But Cloud was suddenly released, and Zack pulled away, shrugging nonchalantly. "Of course, you could always misuse and abuse the game and start saying 'sorry' just to get a kiss from me. So that wouldn't teach you a lesson."

Cloud was left wobbling on his feet, feeling a bit disheveled and weak in the knees, for several combating reasons. He fought back the sweat of terror that threatened to surface, and he begged his heart to stop its incessant frantic beating. He hardly noticed that Zack continued on without him, once more.

"A pinch, maybe?" Zack fell deep in thought, trying to conjure up a firm punishment for Cloud's apologies. "A flick on the forehead?"

"Zack..."

"A slap on the ass?"

"Zack... _please_ ," Cloud said, his voice pleading for him to stop with his teasing.

"'Please'? Really?" Zack whirled around, his hand suddenly outstretched behind his shoulder, poised and ready.

"Why must you twist my words around?" Cloud was trying not to laugh, Zack could tell.

"Well, you said 'please'. I just assumed-"

Cloud, in a rare instant of ease, finally began to laugh. And his hand was nowhere near his mouth, which was usually where it was when he laughed, as if to hide the fact that he was allowing himself to be relaxed, and unguarded.

Zack began to laugh as well, but only because Cloud was laughing so unexpectedly, and unexpectedly carefree. It was infectious. "What's so funny?"

"'Assumed'," Cloud began, composing himself briefly to explain his sudden outburst. "You know what they say about assuming things."

Zack tilted his head, a thoughtful look on his face. He waited for Cloud to continue.

"If you 'assume', you make an ' _ass_ ' out of 'u' and 'me'."

Zack snorted a laugh. "Smart-ass."

"Better than being a dumb-ass." Cloud was grinning that same devious smile he wore when he tricked Zack into thinking he had been drinking before. Zack could get quite used to that grin. It was playful, it was real. It was a symbol that Cloud was...

 _...Happy._

Zack's laughing slowly ceased, his eyes flickering back and forth on Cloud's as they stood near the fountain in Sector 8. The sun was setting, and the rays of light refracted in the falling streams of water. Each droplet projected a piece of the sun onto the people who passed by, as if trying to get them to appreciate their individual beauty. They went unnoticed.

Zack leaned down, and kissed Cloud.

 

~*~*~

  
Once again, Zack had been strangely excited over something that morning, and it was driving Kunsel absolutely batty.

He needed to know. It wasn't a matter of wanting to know, or having to know, he _needed_ to know. Information unknown was, in his opinion, wasted information. He never liked to waste anything.

Kunsel slipped into the First Class SOLDIER floor with Zack's key code. Of course he knew it. Kunsel knew it even before Zack knew it and gave it to Kunsel to use. He was licking his bottom lip, which he did often when the gears in his mind were churning. And each of those gears were well oiled, and well maintained with the constant flow of different kinds of information. General knowledge, politics, current affairs, current top-secret Shin-Ra affairs, and a plethora of sex tips  it didn't matter how frivolous or seedy the information was. If it could fall upon his ears, he had to know it.

And the current contender in his ongoing journey of snooping was the most guarded secret as of late. The most secret of all secrets.

Who in the fiery pits of Ifrit's hell was Zack seeing and possibly screwing?

Kunsel was quite the needy little scamp. And if he paid more attention to his own personal business, he might have been the one screwing someone tonight  but this was far more intellectually stimulating.

He bounded up to Zack's apartment door, cracking his knuckles in preparation for the upcoming interrogation of his best friend. A few knocks on the door and he was soon led to a dead end of despair and disappointment. Zack wasn't home.

But Kunsel didn't know the meaning of a dead end. A quick glance at his watch  dinner time. A quick sniff of the surrounding air  it smelled like Zack's cologne.

 _It must be a date! That rat bastard...!_

Kunsel clenched his fists; he wasn't going down this easily. Next time he saw him, he was going to get it out of him by force, if he had to. Either that, or he would just sneak into the surveillance department and commandeer the terminals for as long as he could before he got kicked out. Of course, he was no stranger to the occasional bribing of the security guards, and that would buy him a bit more time at the cameras.

He returned to the barracks where he was once again assigned. Since Mejia had gone AWOL, he had been assigned to lead the unit on his own. This significantly cut into his snooping time.

It was relatively empty, as most of the men were out on the town on a Saturday night. He normally would have been using this time to either troll about himself, whether that was in a bar, or prodding around in the company's proxy server. But for now, since Zack was _unavailable_ , Kunsel decided to check on his two trouble makers.

He spotted Ratcliff lounging on Elici's bed with a book. He looked more like he was falling asleep than reading. "Hey, you guys done?"

Ratcliff scrambled up to a sitting position, nearly tossing his book up into the air. "U-uh! Y-yeah! I mean- Yes, sir." He calmed, grinning a bit suspiciously.

Kunsel lifted his eyebrows. "Good. Next time think before you decide to fight in my barracks."

"Yes, sir."

"No plans for tonight?"

"No, sir. Just me, myself and I."

"Really? No date?"

"Not tonight, yeah."

Kunsel looked around. There was someone missing. On a Saturday, this someone was usually alone and doing what Ratcliff was doing. "Where's Cloud?"

Ratcliff put Cloud's book down, not even bothering to save the page he was on. He wasn't really reading it, as he lay there. "Oh, he's out."

"Cloud actually has plans?"

"Seems like it, sir."

Kunsel frowned thoughtfully for a moment. He couldn't get the smell of Zack's cologne out of his nose; it was bothering him. "Wait!" Something clicked.

Ratcliff straightened. He wasn't too sure if he should be divulging anyone in Cloud and Zack's affairs, even to someone who was close to Zack. He hadn't received the green light to make it known from either of them, so his lips were sealed.

"Cloud had a hickey yesterday..." He began tapping his chin in deeper thought.

Ratcliff really straightened, now. Had he figured it out? Kunsel was quite known for being perceptive. How would he react to this?

"I know where he is. He's got a girlfriend, doesn't he? He's out scoring with her!" Kunsel nodded to himself, confident. "He mentioned a girl from his hometown to me once. Maybe she's here to visit him. Or maybe..." He began to mutter to himself all the possibilities of where Cloud was and who he could be with, all the while getting it completely wrong.

Ratcliff relaxed. Perhaps he wasn't as perceptive as he thought. He realized then that there was a big difference in being perceptive and being nosy. Kunsel was entertaining, nonetheless. His spunk reminded him of Graves.

 _Graves._

"Uh...sir...?" Ratcliff stood slowly, his face becoming frightfully pale. "I...have something to tell you."

Kunsel stopped his mutterings and peered at his grunt with wary eyes. "Go ahead, cadet."

Ratcliff was shifting nervously on his feet. His hands began to fiddle with the drawstrings on his hooded sweatshirt. Perhaps this was where Cloud picked up that nervous habit of his  playing and tugging on his clothing.

"Graves deserted you, didn't he?"

"Sir!" His head shot up, shocked. How did he figure it out already?

"The bastard left you to do all the cleaning, I knew it."

Ratcliff shook his head. "Yeah- no- wait...yeah. But...that's not it."

Kunsel's jaw suddenly stiffened. The look Ratcliff was wearing was enough to tell him part of his previous statement was correct. "Graves deserted...didn't he?"

"Yes...sir."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

  


## ...To be continued in Chapter Sixteen: Bittersweet Angel.


	16. Bittersweet Angel

~*~*~*~*~*~*~  


# Chapter Sixteen: Bittersweet Angel

  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~

  
Before the war there were migrants from Wutai that settled into Midgar, as with many other migrants from villages and towns across the planet. Midgar was full of diversity; it was a bustling metropolis filled with people from across the globe. There were parts of the Midgar slums that adopted the culture of different people from different towns. It was like stepping into a miniaturized version of their native town, and one could find whatever goods or wares that the original town boasted. All centrally located snugly beneath the plate.

Soon, they began to spread out onto the upper plate, almost like fads. To dine at a Wutaian restaurant meant to be stepping into their culture and their way of life. It was thrilling to many of the Midgar natives who had never even stepped foot outside the city before. It was like visiting a new world.

So it was rather common to see Wutaian food, Cosmo Canyon weapon shops, or Nibelheim bakeries  that bragged that their bread was as light and airy as the air in the Nibel mountains  on every street corner. Although Cloud contested those kitschy slogans as being nothing but complete bull. In the end, nothing was like home but home itself.

But during the long war between Wutai and Shin-Ra, it wasn't uncommon to see Wutaian establishments in Midgar suddenly go under, suspiciously change management, or just simply disappear. This was not exclusive to just the businesses themselves. Many Wutaian immigrants mysteriously vanished throughout the course of the war, and Shin-Ra was never too shy to don a pair of those proverbial red hands. But for public image and appeasement, Shin-Ra _conveniently_ allowed several Wutaian businesses to stay alive, but those were the ones that were suddenly no longer owned by Wutaian natives, and were replaced by people who looked more like Shin-Ra employees to the trained eye. Of course, they would vehemently deny having any such affiliation with Shin-Ra, right before they turned around and took their Shin-Ra paychecks to the bank.

It was a dirty world, and Shin-Ra owned it.

Zack and Cloud entered the restaurant, after a rather awkward moment of Zack holding the door open for Cloud as if he were a lady, although, to everyone else, it just looked like a friend holding a door open for another friend. But in Cloud's insecure mind, everything screamed that they were on a date. Perhaps he shouldn't have dressed so nicely.

And how nicely Zack was dressed, too. From his black microsuede coat, to his square-tipped leather dress shoes, Zack made Cloud feel a combination of envy and pride. At first he felt second rate next to Zack, but he knew that he looked good as well. And as they were escorted to their table, a few women took a not-so-discreet stare at the both of them as they passed. A few eyebrows were raised seductively, and a few hushed whispers made Cloud both simultaneously blush from embarrassment and grin with amusement.

They sat, and the hostess reached across and lit the grill embedded into their table.  
Cloud looked rather lost, as the lack of menus and the flaming grill-for-a-table struck him as foreign and, frankly, a bit strange. "Wait...so how does this work?"

Zack turned from looking at the buffet behind them, already scoping out the desserts that were displayed on the counters. "Never been to one of these, have you?"

"No," Cloud murmured, twisting around in his chair to take in his surroundings. The décor was lavish, with strikes of red mixed with gold accentuating the furniture. There were silk scrolls hanging on the walls, and beautiful bonsai trees atop the dividing walls between the table arrangements. Cloud thought he could hear the sound of either a running pond or a fountain somewhere.

And yet, behind them was a spread of raw meats and seafood, waiting to be plated and brought back to the table to be humbly cooked by none other than the customers themselves. The place smelled of smoke and of the marinade the meats were drenched in. This was going to be an interesting experience  Cloud couldn't cook.

"You just get up, grab what you want and throw it down on the grill. Simple enough, right?"

Cloud tittered nervously. "I guess so. I just...can't cook."

"Neither can I. I just throw it down and whenever it looks good enough to eat, I eat it," Zack said, shrugging nonchalantly.

They both shared a laugh together before ordering their beverages. Zack ordered a beer  not carded of course  and Cloud, after brewing on whether or not he should at least try a beer, finally decided on iced tea in the end. Zack grinned at his indecisiveness.

Soon there was an array of various types of meats on their grill, and they occasionally poked at it with their tongs as they conversed about SOLDIER. Cloud always had an abundance of never-ending questions about the subject, but Zack not once minded. He shared whatever information he possibly could with him, and the ones he couldn't, he just grinned at him, and with a very teasing voice he told Cloud that he would find out when he made it into SOLDIER. Those words seemed to disappoint Cloud, for various reasons, but he just shook his head with a small smile and continued their conversation.

They began to get the hang of this whole cooking thing, only after a near fire scared them into paying more attention. Soon they were full on everything they could possibly imagine. Zack had even gone back to grab more from the buffets, bringing back fruits, noodle soup, rice, everything he could possibly consume. And he hadn't even made it to dessert, yet.

 _Dessert._ Cloud's heart skipped a beat. He couldn't possibly; he was losing his nerve as he sat staring intently at Zack, who was flipping a few ribs on the grill with the most concentrated face he had ever seen him use. And if it wasn't for the boiling emotions inside of him, he would have laughed.

Zack had asked him what was wrong as Cloud suddenly grew quiet, and Cloud simply  and not so truthfully  replied that he was really full. Zack just gave him a flat look, but soon went back to tossing more food onto Cloud's plate, telling him to eat up. And so, he did.

Cloud had been watching each time Zack took a sip of his beer. He liked how the head looked so frothy. It reminded him of the root beer floats he would drink as a child, which was the only sweet treat he would partake in. Vanilla ice cream was probably as plain as it could get, so that part he didn't mind on occasion.

"Wanna try it?" Zack held his mug up as Cloud's eyes trailed it.

"Um..." He shifted in his seat, shrugging casually. "Yeah sure, I'll try it." He took the frosty mug from him, and watched as Zack had a rather intimidating grin on his face as he was highly anticipating his reaction, but at this point he wasn't sure what it would be.  
Cloud took a sip, and instantly sputtered. "That's bitter!" He handed it back to him, wincing. "How can you like that stuff?"

Zack watched as Cloud's tongue darted out and licked the foam off of his lip. Zack mimicked this, unaware that his eyes were fixed on Cloud's mouth. He let out a shaky breath, not realizing how quickly that small gesture could turn him on, whether or not it was intentional. He had never felt so easily aroused before, but Cloud just seemed to bring this somewhat bittersweet trait out in him. He shifted uncomfortably.

Cloud was suddenly looking at him with eyebrows raised, and with a subtle wag of his head.

"What?" Zack blinked, sitting upright. He cleared his throat and began to fiddle with the tongs on the grill. "I uh...what?"

Cloud repeated himself. "How can you like it?"

"It's...an acquired taste."

"Yeah, I can see that," Cloud said flatly. He frowned a bit, taking a sip of his tea to wash down the burning sensation in his mouth and throat.

"I'm surprised that you don't like it, considering that you don't like sweet things. This would be right up your alley."

Cloud shrugged, poking at a grilled prawn with his chopstick. "Well, I guess it would take some getting used to."

"I enjoy the taste of it. And the after effect of it is always a plus."

Cloud tittered. He wondered what Zack would be like drunk. He had never seen him in that state before, and then assumed that for one  it would take a lot to get someone like him drunk, and two  he was probably seasoned enough to handle himself. He had been around his friends when they were fairly drunk, and he learned to judge how much each one could handle based on their height, weight and overall constitution, although Elici could always seem to handle just a bit more than Graves, even though Graves was much larger. Ratcliff, well, it didn't take much. He seemed like he could easily just get contact drunk by simply being _near_ a bottle of booze.

After Zack had pushed several different types of desserts in front of Cloud, who only just shook his head and pushed them back, they left together laughing about how they reeked of smoke. It was worth it, however.

The moon was up now, and the streets began to thin out from the citizens who roamed them during the day. They reached the fountain again, and they sat down on the edge together, after Zack had to tug him down to join him.

"Isn't this a bit strange?" Cloud whispered, even though no one was around.

"What? What's so strange about two guys sitting by a fountain and chatting?"

"I dunno...it's just...you know, _romantic._ " Cloud meant that in a negative way, of course, but Zack ignored that and once again twisted his words around.

"Oh, well, why thank you," he said as he scooted closer to the blond, who instinctively leaned away. "Don't be shy, my darling. I won't bite."

"Shut up, ass."

They laughed together, and Zack scooted away just a bit, to give him his space.

"It's a shame though," Cloud said as he reached up, thumbing the soft suede on Zack's coat. "I don't know if the smell of the smoke will get out of this so easily."

"I don't mind," Zack whispered, watching as Cloud's hand was passing across his arm. Cloud looked up to him, and Zack's breathing became a bit erratic in his chest. He wondered if Cloud was aware of the effect he had on him.

"Zack?" Cloud trailed his fingers down Zack's arm, brushing them up against his hand. He blinked as Zack seemed to flinch when their skin connected. Cloud pulled away, resting his hands down in his lap. He didn't know what to do.

Zack hummed a reply, his head tilting slightly as he watched Cloud's face turn from relaxed, to anxious. He couldn't tell if he wanted to make some sort of physical contact with him, or if he had something on his mind.

"What's...going on between us?"

Zack nodded to himself. He would remember that look now, as he had a feeling he was probably going to be seeing it quite often in the future. "I don't know," Zack spoke those words, but his voice was reassuring. "It is...a little scary." His shoulders slumped a bit, finally admitting that he himself was unsure of what was going on, or what was going to happen between them. "But," he said as he looked to Cloud, "somehow it's all okay."

"How can you be so sure all the time, Zack? What if this isn't okay?"

"Well, how do you feel when we're together?"

Cloud fell silent, looking down at the ground.

"Cloud look at me." Zack reached out and gently tugged his chin towards him. Cloud's eyes flickered up to meet his intense gaze. "When we're together, you drive me crazy."  
"What?" Cloud whispered, looking fearful; hurt.

"You make all kinds of emotions argue with each other inside my head, and I'm not sure how to make them shut up."

Cloud smiled weakly.

"But when I see this," Zack said, trailing his thumb across Cloud's smiling lips, "it makes everything seem so quiet, so peaceful inside my mind."

"That's really sappy," Cloud chuckled, but gently kissed Zack's caressing thumb on his mouth.

"I know, but it's the truth."

Cloud reached up and grasped Zack's hand in his own. "I guess I'm glad that I drive you crazy, then."

"Cloud," Zack said, and as he spoke the blond's name, he felt the grip on his hand get tighter. His voice came out firm, confident as he began to speak. "This is okay."

Cloud's eyes seemed to reflect his thoughts. Thoughts that were still unsure and muddled.

Zack lowered his hand, and their contact broke. "You never answered my question, Chocobo."

The blond just shook his head silently, unable to speak the words that flowed through his mind. Cloud knew exactly how he felt when he was around Zack.

 _You make everything go away, you make my troubles seem to disappear. You...make me forget, Zack. And I can only remember you._

~*~*~

  
They entered Zack's apartment, and instantly the smell of their hair and clothes deepened. It really stood out on them now, and had they not been so full, the smell would have made them hungry once more.

Zack peeled his coat off and disappeared inside his room. Cloud glanced at the clock in the kitchen. He still had a bit of time before his liberty was over. Even though Mejia was gone, he still didn't want to be late in returning. He wondered what Ratcliff was doing since he said he had plans, but on second thought, decided he'd rather not know.

"I'm so damn stuffed," Zack said, reappearing in the living room. Cloud could finally see the shirt he had on underneath. It was of a similar style to the one he was wearing, but Zack's was a solid deep blue. It must have been the latest style or something. Cloud was never really into all of that, and he was thankful for this night that Ratcliff seemed to be in-the-know.

"Yeah, me too. I think I could possibly cook something now. Or at least throw down meat onto a fire and eat it when it was charred enough."

Zack laughed, rubbing the back of his neck. "I can't believe we almost set the place ablaze."

" _Really_? You can't? Two men with no culinary prowess whatsoever cooking with a hot, open flame, and you honestly can't believe that?"

"Well, when you put it like that..." Zack sat down on the couch with a heavy, yet content sounding sigh. He stretched, his eyes squeezing shut. He looked like a lazy cat getting ready to fall asleep in the sun. He relaxed, blinking his eyes slowly as he looked up to Cloud who still stood nervously near the door. "Come sit with me. You still have time before you need to be back, right?" He patted the spot next to him.

"Y-yeah, I have a little over two hours." He shifted on his feet, watching as Zack flipped on the television.

"I think that sitcom is on."

"I hate that show..." Cloud said, finally admitting about the show that always seem to be on when they were together.

Zack snorted a laugh, flipping through several stations to find it. "I hate it too, actually." He found it, but turned down the volume. "C'mon Chocobo, come sit next to me."  
"Calling me that nickname isn't going to make me come."

Zack pressed his lips together, refraining from twisting his words around one last time that evening. He couldn't refrain from squeaking out a strained laugh, however.

Cloud hadn't realized what he said, and he just figured that he was laughing about his dislike of the nickname. But he sat down next to Zack regardless, and smiled shyly when Zack patted his thigh.

"Have fun tonight?"

The blond nodded. It was true that he had fun, but now that the night was winding down, he was growing nervous over the words he had spoken to Zack earlier that day. He wondered what Zack would think if he were to back out in the end. He was really losing his nerve now, as Zack's patting turned to mindless rubbing.

They sat in silence for quite some time, watching the television. One was relatively watching it with a bit of interest, the other was just going through the motions of watching it, but was really beginning to panic.

"Are you okay?" Zack was suddenly looking at Cloud, who began breathing rather heavily.

He just nodded a few times, but the fear in his eyes suggested otherwise.  
"Why do you look so frightened?" Zack reached up and cupped Cloud's face in his hand, turning his head to force him to look at him.

 _I can't do it, I can't do it._ Cloud's mind was racing with this repeated thought. He wanted to return the affection, he wanted to share with Zack the same passion that he shared with him before. To let Zack know that he cared about him the same way. Wasn't it...mandatory? It was what two people did when they cared about each other, right?

His thoughts were screaming now, drowning out all his other feelings. He couldn't hear the heartbeat that pulsed in his chest, he couldn't feel the muscles that began to move on their own. He stared at Zack, looking into those deep eyes that held so much emotion for him. Cloud's vision was tunneled, only seeing the man before him as his facial expression went from concern to shock.

Cloud didn't recognize the arms that were wrapping around Zack's neck. He couldn't understand why Zack's eyes were frantically darting back and forth. Zack's lips moved, but no words could be heard.

 _I can't...do it._

Zack was getting closer to him, even though it looked like the man was leaning away. His lips moved again, but Cloud couldn't see what words he mouthed, as those lips were suddenly forced to stop.

Zack let out a surprised noise as Cloud seized his lips with his own. The boy was trembling, he was breathing erratically. But he continued to scoot closer to him with each clumsy kiss.

They began hastily at first, as Zack struggled to keep up with Cloud's pace. Zack forced Cloud to slow his pace, however, as Cloud's hands began to fumble across his face and neck, then down to the shirt he wore.

"Mm...Cloud...?" Zack tried to pry him away, but he had slipped onto his lap, pinning him against the couch. He felt Cloud's tongue dart across his lips as his shaking hands began to unbutton Zack's shirt. "H-hey..." He shook his head, finally breaking away from Cloud's touch.

Cloud pulled away slowly. "Zack...I-I don't know what I'm doing."

Zack chuckled, helping him slide off of his lap and back onto the couch next to him. "Sure could have fooled me." Zack wiped his mouth with his hand. "I wasn't prepared for that."

"S-sorr-"

"Ah!"

Cloud shut his mouth closed with a click of his teeth.

Zack shook his head, trying to gather the thoughts that suddenly started to fly around in the onslaught of Cloud's very unexpected advance. "Not that I'm complaining, but one minute you're spacin' out, and then the next you're attacking me with kisses."

"Attacking?" He looked mortified.

"Well, it wasn't a bad thing. Just...surprising." Zack smiled at Cloud, trying to reassure him.

"I just..." Cloud trailed off.

"It's okay, Cloud. Don't...force yourself, remember?"

"ButI..."

Zack hushed him patiently, once again rubbing his thigh. "Just sit here and relax with me, okay?"

They both adjusted themselves against the couch, and resumed watching television. Although now both of them were just going through the motions. Zack sneaked a glance at Cloud through the corner of his eye after a few silent minutes passed by. The blond was twisting his hands together, slightly bouncing a leg. There was a faint tint to his skin that suggested he was nervous, and thinking about something.

Probably the same thing that Zack was thinking about.

 _I can't...I gotta build that trust._

They looked at each other, and apprehensive smiles were shared.

"Cloud?"

"...Yes?"

"Can I ask what you're thinking about right now?"

There was a moment's pause as Cloud sat, still twisting his hands within each other.

 _You._

When Cloud didn't answer, a gentle smile broke out on Zack's face, and he reached over to pull him into an embrace. His arms never found Cloud's shoulders, however, as he willingly leaned into Zack's neck before he could reach him. Zack's heart began to beat heavily once they connected, and he breathed deep into Cloud's hair. Cloud responded to this by nuzzling into his neck, and this caused Zack's pulse to intensify.

Even with his past relationships, he had never had someone that could make his body react in the way that it did when he was with this boy. His head became muddled, drowning in a flood of emotion. With each simple word, with each gentle touch from the boy, it caused Zack's stomach to wrench into knots of disbelief. His breathing was as unsteady as his heartbeat whenever Cloud was near.

"Are you okay, Zack?" Cloud tilted his head up, his nose brushing up against Zack's chin as he did so.

Zack looked down at him, placing a small kiss on his nose. "Yes, why?"

Cloud frowned, his hand going up to Zack's chest. "Your heartbeat is fast."

"I know," Zack whispered.

The blond shifted up, his eyes wide. Did he really have that effect on this man? Cloud's hand continued to press against his chest, as he leaned forward and brushed his lips up against Zack's.

They began to kiss once more, but now it was a subtle dance of their lips; unhurried, meaningful. Hands remained where they were, their bodies pressed together not in a show of need, but in a show of an affinity for one another. No noises were uttered, just the sound of their breath blending together between them was all that was heard.

Neither wanted to part from the other's embrace in fear of losing the moment. But they gradually relaxed with each touching of their lips, and each minute caress of their hands, assured that nothing would change if they were to move. Slowly, those caresses began to seek out more places to explore, and tentative fingers began to roam across skin.

Chaste kisses were replaced with heady sweeps of their tongues, heads turning with the increasing speed of their passion. The quietness in the room was broken by a soft moan that finally escaped the burning lungs of the blond.

Zack melted at the sound, his stomach turning into that knot he felt around Cloud. He truly loved that feeling, in the end. Soon, Cloud was seeking around blindly for the buttons on Zack's shirt. Once found, he began to pluck them apart, and this caused Zack to pull from Cloud's lips and stare at him with a look of uncertainty.

In his head swam a maelstrom of confusion and indecisiveness. This couldn't have been Cloud; he was forcing himself to appease him once more. Cloud wasn't the one to initiate something like this. He hadn't the nerve or the courage to be so forward. Zack couldn't take advantage of him like this.

 _I can't let this happen._ Zack placed his hands on Cloud's and tried to tug them away, but they were on a defiant trek down his chest. Each button was soon undone, and Cloud's hands delved inside, smoothing along Zack's rigid chest, which was now heaving quite noticeably.

"Cloud," Zack said through labored breaths, trying to get his attention.

Cloud ignored him. He slid back onto his lap, nudging Zack's hair away from his neck with his nose. He trailed his hands down Zack's chest as he began to kiss his neck, letting out a breathy moan with each touch of his lips.

 _This...has to stop..._

Zack leaned his head back, his eyes fluttering closed as Cloud began to run his hands against the top of his jeans. He could feel his belt being tugged on, and soon it was open with relative ease. Cloud snaked his belt out and dropped it to the floor.

"Cloud." He lifted his head when he felt Cloud cease his kissing in order to find the fly on Zack's pants. He was finally able to grasp onto Cloud's hands right before he flicked the button open. "Stop for a minute."

The blond finally obeyed, and he slowly looked up to Zack with a very apprehensive look. "S-something wrong?"

"What are you doing?" He massaged the boy's hands in his, coaxing him to let go of the zipper that was about to be tugged down.

"Um...w-what you did for me the other night," Cloud murmured, blushing furiously at his words.

Zack shook his head, his eyes narrowing in thought. "Why? You don't have to do that."

"But...you did it for me."

"That doesn't mean you're obligated to do it for me, Cloud."

"But you wanted it last night. What makes tonight any different?"

Zack squeezed his eyes shut, sighing. How could he argue with that, especially when he had an obvious bulge in his pants that was pressing against Cloud's lap? Ever the reminder of his forwardness from the night before.

Cloud began to run his hand against that bulge, and it made Zack release a soft growl of competing emotions. "Please, let me do it," Cloud whispered.

"...Are you sure?" Zack watched as Cloud slipped off his body, and onto his knees below. He spread Zack's legs out and nestled himself between, running his hands along the man's thighs.

Cloud shook his head, but smiled. "No, I'm not sure."

"Then why do you want to do this?"

"Because I'm always unsure. I won't know until after I try, otherwise I'll never do it, and I'll never know."

"That's nonsense, Cloud. Just stop and think this over, plea-" Zack was cut off by his own choke of a breath as his pants were opened.

Cloud began to tug at the jeans that Zack didn't seem to want to relinquish. "Please Zack, I want to make you happy..."

"You do," he said, then grunted as he found himself lifting his hips to allow Cloud to pull his jeans down to his ankles. His body began to move on its own as if satisfied with Cloud's uncertain answers, all the while his mind scolding him for giving in.

"I think I want to do this..."

There was no doubt in Zack's mind that Cloud cared for him, and under other circumstances, he would have believed Cloud's reasons. But the fact that his mind had been twisted around by Mejia, Zack wasn't convinced that he was doing this for the right reasons.

Zack was going to move away. He was going to tell him to stop, and to really consider what he was doing, and why he was doing it. He was going to pull Cloud up into a tender embrace, telling him to think more clearly for himself, and that he would wait for him for as long as it took. As long as Cloud was ready to make his own decisions without any fear of retaliation, or whatever else was possibly going through his head.

He was going to do all of that, until Cloud's hand dipped beneath his underwear, and grasped his hard member.

"S-shit..." Zack winced with the initial shock, and Cloud glanced up at him with worry.

"Did I do something wrong?"

Zack shook his head numbly, his eyes fluttering closed once more when it was fully released. He let out a small noise as Cloud began to tug his underwear down, and he mindlessly obeyed. They joined the jeans down at his ankles.

Cloud began to stroke him slowly, gripping him a bit tight at first, but gradually loosened his grip with each pleased breath that flowed from Zack. Cloud watched him, studying his facial expressions carefully, learning which angle received the most animated response, or the loudest groan.

"Want...me to use my mouth?" Cloud looked up at him, his eyes hazed with a desire that put a bit of Zack's fears behind. His skin was stained in red over his actions, and over his words. He seemed nervous, yet strangely confident  as if he had been thinking about this, and considering it for a while. Even if it was probably for only a short time. But then, Zack had no idea how long Cloud might have had feelings for him to begin with. He could have thought about this more than Zack could have imagined.

"You shouldn't be doing any of this."

Cloud just ignored him once again, slowly running his hand along the length. The soft feeling of it made Cloud lick his lips, those hazy eyes stared blindly, lustfully. He scooted himself closer, and he could tell by the look on Zack's face that he was hoping for him to take him in his mouth. With each lick of Cloud's lips, Zack's eyebrows would raise hopefully on his face, and his breathing would quicken. The couch would squeak beneath him as he seemed to squirm, waiting.

"I want to," he whispered, then lowered his mouth down to Zack's member. He hesitated for a brief moment  perhaps it was to tease. He glanced back up to Zack, who just had his eyebrows raised, and his mouth open in anticipation.

And then, in a quick instance, Zack felt as if he were enveloped in a swarm of heat. Every nerve in the rest of his body began to shut down, and they solely focused on the feeling of Cloud's hot mouth as it closed around the tip of his member.

Cloud hummed softly once his lips closed around it. His hand was stroking him at the base as he began to slowly move his head down. He could feel Zack's body tense beneath him, but then relax as he continued his motions.

He was inexperienced, and clumsy. His hand would grip Zack too tight at times, and the bobbing of his head wasn't rhythmic. But the little sounds he made as he tried made each one of his awkward movements unite in a way that was more than just pleasurable for Zack's physical being.

His heart  it wouldn't stop racing.

Zack blinked slowly and watched the sight before him. He reached down, passing his hand across Cloud's hair lightly, watching as his eyes fluttered open finally, and their gaze met. "Cloud..."

Speaking his name caused Cloud to flush, but it fueled him, gave him the confidence he needed to continue. Zack had been quiet  not uttering one word or noise once he started. He realized that Zack was concentrating on his movements just as much as he was himself. Cloud wanted to do this right; he wanted to make Zack feel good.

As much as his own experience had embarrassed him, when it came down to it, it was the emotion and consideration that Zack had shown him during that that had made him feel good. He only hoped that he could do the same.

Zack's hands slid deep into Cloud's hair, but he kept them loose, not wanting to make the boy feel trapped. He began to verbally respond to Cloud's slow sucking, and he found that his hips began to rock upwards.

Cloud paused, a bit surprised when Zack started to move, causing his member to slide deeper into his mouth.

"S-sorry..." Zack said, breathless.

Cloud released his member with a suckling noise, which caused Zack to groan in slight disapproval. "Don't worry, Zack." He grasped the shaft once more, but towards the top. His thumb circled the tip of the head as he ran his tongue from the base upwards.

Zack shuddered, tightening his grip in Cloud's hair. "Shit."

He continued this, occasionally flicking his tongue up at the tip before he delved back downwards once more. After a few times of doing this, and after Zack's moaning began to climb in pitch, Cloud stopped and pulled back. "Am I doing okay...?"

"You keep that up, and I'll come soon."

Cloud didn't have much of a response, but a bit of anxiety crossed his eyes at Zack's words.

Zack caressed the boy's face tenderly. "You can stop, if you want."

He shook his head, smiling up at him sweetly. "I don't."

"Okay, if you're sure," Zack whispered, brushing his thumb across his cheekbone. _He still looks like an angel, even while doing this..._

That hot mouth was once again placed down onto Zack's erection, slowly descending. With each bob of his head, Cloud began to hum pleasurable noises. It was quiet and restrained, but each one drove further into Zack's stamina, draining away his control.

Zack found his hips to be rising from the couch, thrusting himself into Cloud's wet mouth. He couldn't help but ignore the startled noise that came from the boy as he continued, or perhaps his own noises were drowning out anything else in the room.

The muscles in Zack's stomach began to wind tight, his breathing reached a pace that left his head murky and dim. Fingers convulsed into the blond hair; his heart was still racing. He began to reach the peak of bliss.

It was bad enough that he had let Cloud go this far, he wasn't going to degrade him by coming in his mouth, or anywhere near him, for that matter. This was too new to him; to experience something like that first off would be a cause for concern with his already wavering confidence.

Zack glanced around for something  anything he could release into, but Cloud's quickening pace along his member was making it hard to look, let alone see anything but the increasing haze of pleasure.

"C-Cloud...!" Zack's hands gripped his hair tight as he threw his head back. "S-stop, I'm going to come..." his voice came out in a choke.

Cloud continued, his hand tightening its hold, his tongue swirling around the head that was about to spill.

"L-let go, please, Cloud. I don't wanna...n-not in your mouth..." Zack pried one of his hands away from Cloud's scalp and tried to wedge it between himself and Cloud's chin. "Please..." All he managed to get was more resistance. He repeated this plea several times before it morphed into moans of splendor.

Cloud glanced up to Zack, watching as he writhed beneath him. His eyes were pleading with him to let go as he neared his end, but Cloud just adjusted his pace to match the thrusting in his mouth. He grew nervous, yet anxious to bring Zack to the same level of emotion he had experienced.

He could hear Zack's moaning become frantic, louder. And he felt Zack tense against him, clutching his hair between his fingers. His name rolled off Zack's lips before he felt the member in his mouth tighten, and release.

Cloud squeezed his eyes shut as he felt the hot liquid fill his mouth. He sputtered, awkwardly swallowing as best he could, even as Zack continued to move.

Zack slowly unfolded his fingers, his vision finally flowing back from the blinding darkness he saw. He looked down to see Cloud finally pulling away, his face pale. "You...okay?" he said, through labored breaths.

Cloud sat back on his heels, pressing the back of his hand to his mouth as it looked like he was either swallowing heavily still, or gagging. But he slowly nodded, his eyes crawling back up to meet Zack's. "Yeah."

He glanced down to himself briefly. Cloud had cleaned him up pretty good  he was surprised. But he looked back to him, a warm smile enveloping his face. "Get up here, please," he whispered.

The blond nodded and climbed onto the couch next to Zack. He whimpered a bit as Zack turned into him, pushing him down onto his back with a forceful kiss. He could feel Zack beginning to unbutton his jeans as he kissed him, pushing his tongue into his mouth and his hand into his pants.

"Zack," he murmured between each heavy kiss. He felt his jeans being tugged down, followed by his underwear. He gasped then, Zack's hand grasping him tightly. He groaned quietly as he was stroked. It was slow at first, matching the speed of their kissing, and Cloud began to arch his back up against Zack.

Zack broke the kiss to begin lapping at Cloud's earlobe. This was responded with by a very loud moan, and arms that wrapped around his body. His tongue then trailed down from Cloud's ear to his neck. He nipped at it, which caused Cloud to cry out, and caused Zack to growl. He pulled away, his eyes burning into Cloud's, which were now glazed over with lust and a bit of confusion.

"Want me to stop?"

"No," Cloud said, trying to tug Zack back down. "Don't."

"Good, I wasn't planning on it," he said before he began to slip down his body to take Cloud into his mouth, but Cloud groaned and pulled against his arms when he tried to move.

"Don't, just...kiss me." Cloud lifted his head, pressing his lips against Zack's when he remained where he was. He pushed his tongue into the man's mouth greedily while digging his fingers into his back.

Zack let go of Cloud's stiff member to begin tugging his shirt open. He finally was able to hear the string of snaps of the buttons that he envisioned from when he first saw him in the shirt that evening. It was a wonderful sound, and he couldn't help but chuckle seductively at it. He gently pushed the shirt to his sides before his hand skimmed down Cloud's heaving chest. He grasped him once more.

Cloud bucked his hips, sliding himself in Zack's palm. He hadn't realized how aroused he was from pleasuring Zack, until a few thrusts, and a few timed strokes of Zack's hand quickly began to raise the noises he made.

Zack smiled as Cloud moaned, and this allowed Zack to push his tongue in further, running it along each ridge inside of Cloud's mouth. He quickened his strokes below, and Cloud began to tense. He knew it wouldn't take much more to make him finish, so he pulled back, watching as Cloud twisted in pleasure beneath him.

Cloud looked as if he were trying to hang onto the short length of restraint he had left before he eventually climaxed. Zack leaned down, giving one last kiss on Cloud's lips, and their eyes locked, both filled with an intense passion.

"Come for me, angel," Zack whispered.

Cloud stiffened then, his breath catching in his throat. His fingers curled, clawing into the back of Zack's neck. Zack caught Cloud's lips with his when he started to cry out. He wanted to catch the moment, and those beautiful sounds, with his mouth as Cloud released onto his chest.

Zack purred, slowing his hand movements as Cloud began to convulse by his touch in the aftermath. He kissed his forehead softly, stirring up a sated noise from the boy whose breath was finally leveling from its erratic pattern.

Cloud murmured Zack's name a few times, and with each time Zack grinned a little wider. Cloud's eyes opened partially to the sight of Zack above him with that broad smile. "What...?" He was blushing terribly.

A chuckle matched the amused look on the man's face. "I found a nickname that makes you come, after all."

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

## ...To be continued in Chapter Seventeen: Fun and Lying.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ready for a fan-video this time? :D This was made by MysticHedwig of deviantART.com, youtube.com, aka Lady Gunblade on fanfiction.net! It's a promo video she put together for this fan-fic, and it's incredibly beautiful. Give it a watch!: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MV1Xp5Z0YmQ
> 
> More fan-art coming up slowly in the next chapters!


	17. Fun and Lying

~*~*~*~*~*~*~  


# Chapter Seventeen: Fun and Lying

  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~

  


He could hear his name being called from far away, and he struggled to gain his senses back from the darkness of his slumber.

"Strife! Get the hell up!"

He could hear the large double doors closing to the barracks, and he could hear a familiar voice muttering with another familiar voice about him being asleep. Of course he was asleep, what else would he be doing? He felt warm, he felt enveloped in an intangible darkness full of equally intangible comfort...it was very nice.

"Strife, seriously, get up!"

He could feel his shoulder being shaken, and he could hear himself groan in disapproval. A few more minutes, and he would have been okay...

That intangible comfort was not so much comfort any longer, as he could feel blankets being stripped off his body, and his pillow being tugged out from underneath his head. He heard a few curse words leaving his mouth, but he had no control over what he said, or how he said it. It did receive a slightly amused chuckle from one of those two familiar voices above him.

"He's totally out, yeah?"

He heard his voice once more, slurring this time. "I'm not out. Just sleeping." Did he really sound like that when he was waking up?

"Strife, you have five seconds to pry those baby blues open, and get your ass outta bed and into formation."

And those baby blues opened, not as fast as they probably should have, but they did, nonetheless. "Sir?" He looked up to find the owners of the two voices to be Ratcliff and a very irked-looking Kunsel. It took a lot to get him to look that way, so they must have been trying to wake him for quite some time.

"Don't 'sir' me, Strife. I oughtta have you clean out the Turks' locker room for this."  
Cloud rolled onto his back and sat up, blinking slowly. He was quite groggy  and it showed. "Lockers?" His hand went to his head and he groaned slightly. Waking up with two people yelling at him, let alone waking up with a throbbing headache, was not his idea of an enjoyable morning.

"Get dressed, _now._ We have Hand-to-Hand! Your ass should be up and out the door with the others!"

He closed his eyes momentarily while Kunsel spoke, but a moment lasted too long and his head dipped down to his chest. That darkness was pulling him back again, and it was still nice.

"He must've been out partying to get like this."

"He's usually an early bird, yeah," Ratcliff said, shaking Cloud's shoulder once more. "Hey, wake up before Kunsel goes ape shit on you, yeah."

Cloud groaned again, quite boyishly  like a child being dragged out of bed for the first day of school. "Okay..."

Kunsel folded his arms across his chest, perturbed at this unusual behavior. Cloud never went out on liberty, and he certainly was never late in waking up and joining in the formation. "Strife, what were you drinking last night?"

Cloud's eyes peeled open, and finally his senses were returning to normal. "I wasn't."

Kunsel snorted, and Ratcliff smiled.

"You sure as hell look like you were," Kunsel said, shaking his head. "Just get up."

Cloud kicked the remaining blankets off and stood, wincing with the throbbing in his head. "Sir."

"Two minutes, Strife. And remember that it takes me far less time in thinking of a punishment, so you better make good use of your time." Despite these firm words, Kunsel gave Cloud a friendly slap on the shoulder  or perhaps it was to jar him into reality as his eyes began to sink closed again.

"Yes, sir. Sorry, sir."

"Ratty  back to the formation."

Ratcliff nodded, before shooting Cloud a look of concern and confusion, and he turned stiffly on his heel and exited the barracks.

"Seriously, Cloud," Kunsel said, dropping formalities as they were alone, "this isn't like you to sleep so late. What did you do last night?"

Cloud began to make his bunk quickly, shaking from the depleting drowsiness, and also from being rather angry at himself for sleeping too late. "Sorry, sir, I just..." he trailed off, his mind going back to his night with Zack. His mouth twitched slightly, but he fought back the smile. "...There was a bookstore that was having a sale, and I got caught up reading there and lost track of time..."

Kunsel scoffed. And here he thought Cloud was out getting laid. "Well, just don't do this again."

"Sir."

"Suit up."

Cloud nodded and jogged past Kunsel towards the lockers. He dressed in their issued P.T. gear and washed up as fast as he could. He nearly forgot to put the toothpaste on his brush as he tried to move quickly.

Kunsel was at the double doors waiting for him. He watched as Cloud walked past looking frightfully pale and, frankly, unnerved. As he exited, Kunsel could smell smoke on him, and a hint of something else, but he couldn't quite figure it out. It reminded him of something, or someone.

"Never heard of a bookstore that cooks barbeque."

"W-what?" Cloud stopped, turning to face Kunsel who was grinning rather triumphantly over something.

"You heard me."

Cloud shifted on his feet, just staring back at Kunsel a bit dubiously.

"So, what's her name?"

"Sir?"

"Don't lie to me. You were out on a date, weren't you? Why would you be smelling like you bathed in a fire, in a _bookstore_ of all places?"

Cloud was surprised with himself that he was able to fight back the blush that threatened to surface on his face then. "Shouldn't we be going down to the gym, sir?"

Kunsel just peered at him from beneath his SOLDIER helmet, surveying each minute movement of the muscles in Cloud's face. When Cloud's eyes darted to the side briefly, he knew his suspicions were right.

"Alright, Strife. Get into the pack." He smirked as Cloud nodded and joined the waiting unit.

 

~*~*~

  
The men disbanded the formation line after Kunsel explained and demonstrated some old and new moves. He paired them in their usual, and Ratcliff and Cloud faced off, due to their similar size and strength. It would just be a bit reckless to pair up someone like Cloud with someone like Graves.

"Remember," Kunsel said, surveying as his unit began to assemble with their opponents, "the point of this exercise is to control your opponent, and to advance your position for submission."

A few men chuckled at that, but quickly quieted as Kunsel shot them a rather intimidating glare. He was a friendly man, but certainly not one to trifle with. He was a SOLDIER, after all.

"And remember, I don't want anyone to have to be sent to the infirmary. This is a training exercise, not actual combat. Got it?"

The collective cry from the unit was met with a nod by the SOLDIER, and they began to lock themselves into various grapple holds. There was scuffling all around, the sound of the mats beneath them squealing with disapproval as men were tossed down on them. There was some grunting, laughing and angry cries of testosterone that mixed between as they squared off.

The two blonds were hunched over, their hands blindly grabbing one another in an attempt to overpower the other. They tried to sidestep, and they tried to outsmart. Their weight was used as leverage, and their shirts were balled up in their fists almost as a source of balance.

Cloud widened his stance as he tried to jab at Ratcliff's neck for a frontal choke hold. Ratcliff brought his left hand up and pressed it against Cloud's outstretched elbow. He brought his right hand up between them as he sudden stepped around Cloud, snaking that hand up around his neck. He rotated his hips into Cloud's stomach and caused him to suddenly double over. With ease, Ratcliff stood, picking Cloud up off of his feet on his back. He flipped him down onto the mat with a hard slapping sound.

"C'mon, Cloud. You have to do better than that, yeah?" He offered his hand down to him, and Cloud just pushed it out of the way, a bit angrily. He always got visibly upset when he didn't have the upper hand in their ground fighting training. It was either from being a sore loser, or just being frustrated with himself. Ratcliff always figured it was the latter.

He stood on his own, wobbling a bit from the jarring take-down. He lunged forward a bit clumsily, his hands gripping at the shirt over Ratcliff's shoulders. He was gritting his teeth, and looking more endearing than intimidating, or at least so Ratcliff thought.

Ratcliff wiggled a bit, trying to dislodge Cloud's grasp, but only managed to have his shirt slip up his torso in the process. "Trying to strip me?" He laughed breathlessly when Cloud just growled in response. "Feisty today, yeah?"

"Where's Graves?" Cloud suddenly asked, his teeth now grinding and creating a rather disturbing noise that sent a chill down Ratcliff's spine. Or perhaps it was his question that disturbed him.

"Dunno," he said, and it was partially true, of course.

"He," Cloud said, and then grunted as they changed positions a bit, "didn't come back last night."

They circled around while still in each other's hold, each trying to find an opening that would allow the other to take over.

"Maybe he got caught for skipping out on his punishment yesterday. He's probably in trouble with the Brass as we speak, yeah!" Ratcliff tried to dart around Cloud in an attempt to get him into a sleeper hold, but Cloud moved to stop him.

Cloud reached up and grabbed the right side of Ratcliff's neck, and thrust him downwards. He dove forward, wrapping his right arm underneath Ratcliff's neck, and grabbing his jaw in his hand tightly. Ratcliff uttered a small cry of surprise and pain. Cloud slipped his other arm underneath Ratcliff's armpit and grasped his other wrist as it let go of Ratcliff's chin. He began to dig his hands into Ratcliff's Adam's apple, and he could hear him begin to cough.

Cloud took that opportunity to suddenly jump up, wrapping his legs around Ratcliff's waist, causing him to buckle and fall with Cloud's weight onto the mat below. He landed on top of Cloud as his grip finally released.

"Strife!" Kunsel ran over and a few people stopped to watch Cloud finally take someone down. Ratcliff was scrawny, but he certainly was no pushover. "That was a perfect submission take-down! Why did you let him go?"

Ratcliff sputtered a bit, finally picking himself up off of laying on top of Cloud after he caught a much needed breath. He wasn't expecting Cloud to pull out something like that, let alone fall on top of him, pressed against his chest. He admittedly didn't want to get up.

Kunsel leaned down, lifting an eyebrow at Cloud who just lay there panting heavily. He seemed more exerted over his actions than Ratcliff. "You all right, Strife?"

Cloud tried to sit up, but fell back down to the mat with a small groan.

"C'mon Strife, get up. I don't know how many times I have to say that to you today," Kunsel said, shaking his head. "Ratcliff, help him up."

Ratcliff grabbed Cloud's arms and tugged him up into a sitting position.

Kunsel turned to the rest of the unit as they had stopped and were watching the scene in front of them. "'Ey! Did I say your asses could stop?" They all scrambled back into their positions and resumed their exercises. "You must have one hell of a hangover, Strife. And unless you're actually sick, hangovers won't cut it with me. Better get up," Kunsel said as he squat down next to the blond who was still panting laboriously.

"I don't," he finally managed. "It's not a hangover, sir."

Ratcliff shook his head to Kunsel. "He wouldn't, sir."

"Yeah right, that's what he wants us to think," he said, jokingly. "Can you stand?"

Cloud nodded and slowly got to his feet, with a little help from Ratcliff. "Sorry, sir."

"Can you continue?"

He nodded again, but only caused the two men to frown in disbelief. But they allowed him to continue.

After a few more rounds with Ratcliff, each time submitting, Cloud seemed more and more passive about his losses. And with each bout, he was easier to take down. He seemed distracted.

Finally, they were told to form up again, and head back to the barracks for a much needed shower before they were to hit the cafeteria for lunch. They headed down to the barracks, and the conversation between Ratcliff and Cloud was nonexistent. Ratcliff couldn't face him, he could barely look at him once he mentioned Graves' name. What was he supposed to say to him? He had no idea where he went, or why he had gone.

And of course, Cloud could tell that he was lying.

 

~*~*~

  
"Tseng, can we talk?"

Tseng looked up from his desk to see Zack standing in the doorway, peering in from the side as if he were afraid to enter.

"Come in," he said, a bit surprised at Zack's almost professional demeanor. He watched as the SOLDIER took a seat, which he seldom ever did when they needed to speak with one another. "Keep this short, I have a lot of work to do."

"Now that's not very nice. I come in here with respect, and you greet me with nothing but ice. And you wonder why I'm so disrespectful with you."

"Zack."

"Okay, okay." He fidgeted in his seat, frowning briefly. "Any word on Mejia's whereabouts?"

"Why?"

"What do you mean, 'why'? I want to kick his ass, that's why."

Tseng let a quick smirk grace his face, before it dissolved into his usual blank mask. "Lazard has sent out a few scouting units, but they have yet to uncover his exact location."

"Will the Turks be sent out?"

Tseng set down his pen and leaned back in his chair, which was a sign that he was willing to talk. He picked up his coffee cup and took a small sip, his gaze never leaving Zack's.

"So they will."

"Get to your point, Zack."

Zack reached out and grabbed a blue stress-ball that sat rather befittingly on Tseng's desk, although it hardly looked used. He began to toss it between his hands, instead of using it for its intended purpose. "I want to be the one that goes to get him."

Another sip of his coffee, this time a bit longer.

"I'll bring him back alive, I promise."

"We received a tip that he was spotted near the plains in Kalm, heading towards the Chocobo Farm. There's a cave that passes through the mountains to the other side of the continent. He could be planning to head towards Junon to cross the ocean."

"That'd be stupid, there's a base there. He'd be spotted instantly."

Tseng grinned, albeit scarcely. "Well, he was never the smartest individual, was he?"

Zack began to squeeze the stress-ball in his hands.

"I can deploy you and another Turk to the cave via helicopter. He's on foot, as far as we know, so you should be able to intercept him by the time we get you there."

"Really?" Zack tossed the ball up into the air, and it spun around as it fell back into his palm. "When can I go?"

"I'll have to run this by the Director, but hopefully by tomorrow afternoon. You'll touch down by late evening." He began stamping several documents on his desk methodically. A bit too bureaucratic, and it seemed as if Tseng was destined to file paperwork for the rest of his life in this fashion.

"That's great! Who'll I work with?"

"I haven't decided," Tseng said, finally looking up from his robotic movements. "I'm not sending you with Cissnei, if that's what you're thinking."

Zack snorted a laugh. If Tseng only knew he wasn't interested in her any longer. And it's not like he was interested in men only at this point. He was just interested in...Cloud, really. "What about Sephiroth?" Zack asked, his laughter finally dying down.

"He's on a mission of his own in Junon."

"Oh." Zack was a bit disappointed. He hadn't worked with Sephiroth in a long time, and hadn't even seen him much since the day he informed Zack of the molestation incident. He wanted to thank him again for having saved Cloud. He did what Zack was unable to do, and as he was thankful that it ended as best as it could, he was upset with himself for not having been there for Cloud.

"Strife is being sent out tomorrow, too."

"...What?" was Zack's bewildered reply.

"Just a simple mission. Nothing too strenuous, for your peace of mind."

"I'm fine, I thought I told you and the shrink that."

Tseng just ignored him. "There's a festival in Kalm tomorrow night, and they requested for some law enforcement to be sent there to keep order."

"Festival? For what?"

"The town thrives off the mythril they get from the mines. It's a dangerous job that has a lot of the townsfolk away for weeks to months on end. When they come back, the people just like to have something to celebrate."

"Wish I would get a welcome party like that when I came back from my dangerous jobs."

Tseng smirked, but continued on. "Apparently the previous year there was a bit of a drunken riot that ensued during one of their celebrations. It would have been easily dealt with had there been some sort of established order there, but you know how those smaller towns go."

"I'm from a village, and I can't say we've ever had drunken riots break out there. Hell, if that'd happened, I'd probably had stayed; it would've been more interesting."

Tseng chuckled, until he realized he had chuckled, and immediately decided to change the direction of the conversation. It was getting too personal. Zack always had that ability  he was just too comfortable a person to be around, even for someone like the hardened Turk. That was half of the reason why he was so quick to kick the SOLDIER out of his office whenever he came in. He didn't want to cross that line and actually converse with him in anything other than a professional way. The other half was that, well, Zack was that excited puppy.

But the puppy wasn't too excited at the moment as the reality of it settled in. "How...many people is he going with? I don't think he could handle any riots that broke out on his own."

"It'll be Strife, four other infantrymen, and one SOLDIER."

"That's it? For an entire town?"

"If one SOLDIER and five Shin-Ra infantrymen can't handle a few drunken idiots, then my faith in this company might waver, and I'll call my stock broker up to sell my stocks immediately."

"Good...point." As if he understood stocks at all, anyway. He chuckled like he did, however.

"Besides, maybe he'll have some fun."

Zack frowned for a moment, but then forced himself to smile. "Yeah, maybe." For Tseng to say a sentence with the word 'fun' in it, it frankly unnerved him.

 

~*~*~

  
Cloud showered, and immediately began to feel a bit better. He wondered if he had caught something that might have been going around the barracks. His body just didn't feel as if it wanted to wake. His head felt rather murky throughout the morning, and it was hard for him to concentrate on Kunsel's instructions. But as far as he knew, no one had been ill for quite sometime. As the day went on, and he became more active, his body began to feel stronger. He still had that headache, however, and he realized that he was in need of some food. He hadn't eaten since his dinner with Zack the night before.

His stomach tightened at the memory of his night with the SOLDIER. He was held in Zack's arms for the remainder of their time together, cuddling up on the couch and basking in the glow of the television.

They didn't speak much, and there was no kissing. It was just gentle holding of each other. Zack would occasionally reach up to caress Cloud's arm or face, and they would smile in harmony, but neither would speak. They were afraid to say anything to each other, as if they were to disrupt the tender mood that fell around them. Even as they parted, nothing but a simple, modest kiss was shared between them. Cloud could hardly look at Zack, not out of shame, but out of being enamored from the feelings they shared.

And he still felt that way, and the burning of his skin reminded him of it so persistently. He couldn't help but smile.

The cafeteria was its usual  packed and full of rowdy men. And the food was its usual  inconsistent temperatures and taste. But with Cloud's complaining stomach, it didn't matter much. He grabbed macaroni and cheese, as it was the hardest of the foods they served for the chefs to botch up. Pasta and melted cheese. It was simple, and full of the calories and carbohydrates his body craved after a workout. Probably not the healthiest of choices, but no matter how much he managed to eat, he never gained a pound.

He was concentrating hard on getting a lump of it to stay on his fork long enough to make it into his mouth. It was overcooked a bit  so much for his choice  and wouldn't stop sliding off his utensil. He didn't notice when someone took a seat awfully close to him.

"Are you finally going to talk to me, now?" Cloud said, figuring it had to have only been Ratcliff, seeing as Elici was dead, and Graves was nowhere to be found.

"That's funny to hear coming from you."

Cloud choked on the bite of food he attempted to swallow, and felt a gentle hand patting his back.

"You okay?"

"Zack," he said, catching his breath. "What're you doing down here?"

"Food, of course."

"Of course."

They both smiled, but Cloud wasn't looking at him. He was too busy stabbing his food.

"Who'd you think I was?"

"Ratcliff." Cloud let out a shocked noise as Zack grabbed his fork from his hands and expertly snagged a good forkful full of pasta.

"Don't you dare feed that to me," Cloud began, but watched as Zack ate it himself, and he trailed off.

"Overcooked," Zack said, after swallowing. "I might go for the soup."

"Well, I'm glad that sampling my food helped you decide," Cloud said, flatly. He took his fork back with a frown, and resumed eating.

Zack watched him eat with a large smile. He had considered feeding him, but realized he might not have been too happy with that, regardless if they were in a public place or not. "Something going on with you and Ratcliff?"

"No, not really," he said, partially lying. After he had left Zack's apartment, he tried to wait up late for Graves to show, as it wasn't unusual that the man snuck in well after lights out. But he had grown very tired very quickly and fell asleep before he had a chance to confront him and apologize. He wasn't sure how long he stayed up for but cursed himself for doing so, which was probably the reason why he had such a hard time waking up in the morning. After all that waiting, he never showed, and during training he was nowhere to be seen, as well.

Ratcliff was a terrible liar.

"'Not really'?" Zack lifted an eyebrow. Cloud was a terrible liar, just as well.

"Don't worry about it, Zack. Go get something to eat."

As much as Zack wanted to sit there and prod at Cloud more, his hunger was taking over. After a few minutes in line, he finally came back with macaroni and cheese, and came back with that same large grin.

"I thought you were going to get soup," Cloud said.

"I lied."

Cloud frowned, finishing off his meal.

"Are you scheduled for anything later on this evening?"

"Just some Land Nav out in the wastelands. Why?"

"I want to see you tonight," Zack said softly as a few people walked past. He saw Ratcliff in the corner of his eye sit down at a table across the cafeteria. He scooted to the side, obscuring himself behind a cluster of people. "We won't be able to see each other for the next few days."

"You have a mission?" Cloud's eyebrows lifted, looking rather eager to hear the details. Cloud loved to hear of Zack's tales and journeys.

"Yeah, might last for a night or two. Going to investigate a cave."

Cloud shot him a baffled look. "Investigate a cave? They need to send a 1st Class for that?"

Zack chuckled. "Seems like it."

"For what reason?"

Zack chewed his bite of food slowly, staring into Cloud's eyes, emotionless. He finally swallowed, realizing he had to say something to him. "It's rumored to have some rare materia there."

"Why send SOLDIER? I thought that was our job as the army. I've done that tons of times."

"I guess it must have some really good materia, then." Zack reached up and ruffled Cloud's hair, just as he was about to say something in protest.

Zack was also a terrible liar.

"But tonight, I'd like to see you before I go. That is, only if you want to."

Cloud rubbed his forehead after the ruffling, but not out of irritation; that headache just didn't seem to want to go away, even after eating. "Yeah, maybe, Zack."

"Maybe?"

Cloud lowered his hand to see a rather hurt expression on Zack's face. "Well, what did you have in mind?"

That expression disappeared. "I dunno, there's a stupid monster movie playing at the theater."

_Is this...another date?_

Cloud couldn't help but smile. "Sounds stupid."

"Great, then stop by my apartment when you're released from duty and we'll go."

They shared an amused chuckle with each other and finished their meal together. Zack watched with interest as Ratcliff slipped out of the cafeteria a short time later.

"Well, Cloud. I gotta start some paperwork for my mission tomorrow," Zack said, slapping Cloud on the shoulder as he stood. "I'll see you later."

Cloud just nodded with a bottle of water between his lips as he took a sip.

Zack chuckled and wondered if Cloud knew what else he was picturing between those lips. But he just gave him one more friendly pat on the shoulder before he exited, and followed Ratcliff.

 

~*~*~

  
"Hey," Zack said, his voice cutting through the group of men being rather loud in the hall.

Ratcliff stopped walking, his shoulders rising as if he had been caught in the act of something he shouldn't have been doing. But he turned slowly, smiling to Zack as best as he could. "Good to see you, sir."

"Walk with me."

"...Sir?"

Zack continued past him, and Ratcliff followed along, having to trot to keep up with Zack's long stride. "What's going on between you and Cloud?"

"Nothing, yeah."

"That so?"

Ratcliff was growing nervous. There seemed to be a strange aura about Zack that Ratcliff had never seen before. Or perhaps it was just his imagination, as he fidgeted in his skin. He was never good at lying, or keeping secrets from anyone. The more he thought about it, the more it ate away at his conscience.

He followed Zack into a bathroom, and watched as he stepped to a urinal and unzipped his pants. It was a bit awkward to be standing there talking while Zack urinated, so he joined in next to him. He hoped his nerves weren't too shot to use the restroom.

"Cloud said that you weren't talking to him."

"That's not entirely true, yeah. I just..." he paused for a moment, frowning as his body refused to react. "I just can't see him right now."

"What the hell is going on?"

There was a short pause, and they continued standing there, staring at the bland wall in front of them.

"Graves...deserted." He tilted his head back with a content sigh, whether that was from finally admitting what had been eating away at him, or because he was finally able to take that much needed piss.

"What!?" Zack began to face him.

"Don't turn!" Ratcliff motioned down to the fact that Zack was still urinating.

"Shit, sorry," he muttered, correcting himself. "Now what the hell are you talking about?"

"Graves  he, his...his locker is empty and he hasn't showed for two days, yeah. Last I saw him was Friday night."

Zack fell quiet as he finished, slowly zipping himself up and nearly catching himself in the fly.

"I...don't have the heart to tell him, yeah."

"He'll find out eventually."

Ratcliff nodded to himself, and zipping his pants up. "I know that, yeah. I know."

"And you can't avoid him forever."

"Well, it's not official that he's AWOL yet, and-"

Zack growled, slamming the tap on as he began to wash his hands. He shot Ratcliff a glare through the mirror in front of him. "Think about what you're saying before you say it."

"Sir," he muttered, joining him slowly at the sinks. "I know, it's naïve of me, yeah. But..."

"I've been through this already. You can tell yourself that it's not true all you want, but in the end, the truth speaks for itself." The tap was slammed shut again, and Zack walked past, shaking his head.

"I don't want to see him upset, yeah. He's still not over Elici."

Zack's tense demeanor finally diminished, and his shoulders sank. But he couldn't help but think of Angeal. "I know. But..." Zack wanted to say that Cloud should be able to handle it, and that death and tragedy was all around, even outside of Shin-Ra.

But the image of that boy in his lap, with eyes drenched with agony, and tears that greedily claimed his face the night of their first kiss...he never wanted to see that again, as hauntingly beautiful as it was.

And then he thought of the mission Cloud was going on. If he were to find out about Graves before the mission, Zack wouldn't be able to look after him there, and comfort him if he needed it. He had to be there for him, in case he cried. "...We'll tell him after his mission."

"Mission, sir?"

 

~*~*~

  
"Should be nice and easy, boys," Kunsel said, looking over his five men who stood before him. "Kalm is, well, calm for the most part. Although festivities and alcohol don't make for a calm party sometimes. They just need some order established. So we'll set up a perimeter around the center of the town."

The men leaned in as Kunsel smoothed out a map of the city onto one of the tables in the barracks. They had just completed their Land Navigation course, with only one or two little snags along the way with some of the groups. Apparently a compass and a map wasn't enough to get a few groups back to the meeting point in the wastelands on time.

"The town will have their booths set up in two rows in the center of the town. Zabalza  you'll take the western side. Haskin  take the town entrance, Strife  you'll take the south side, by the stone steps." He turned the map to each man, tapping where they were to patrol. "Kumpf, you'll be eastern, and Ratcliff, you'll be in the center of it all with me."

They each nodded and surveyed the aerial map, staring at it until they became somewhat familiar with the layout of the town and placement of the festivities.

"We'll be wearing radio headsets to communicate with each other. Just don't goof off on it too much."

A mischievous grin broke out on several of the men's faces. Kumpf was a rather lazy fellow. Somewhat round in the belly, and quite tall. He was always for relaxing and having a bit of fun whenever possible. He had earned the nickname "Comfy" due to his teddy bear-like physical appearance, and lazy attitude towards everything.

Zabalza was good at what he did in the army, but when the opportunity came to have a bit of fun, he would partake in good times with Kumpf rather zealously. Debauchery was never too far behind those two, and to send them to something like a festival was just begging them to have fun on duty.

And Haskin was, well, he earned the nickname 'Boss' for his stern and methodical views on everything he did. Hardly one to crack a smile, or even speak any unnecessary banter, he was going to ensure that the mission would play out how it was intended by the company. It was rumored that he was related to Tseng, but that was hardly the truth.

Cloud had been on several missions with each one of them, but never all three at once. He wondered how this was going to play out with the fairly easygoing Kunsel, the intense Haskin, and the two slackers.

"Well, that's it, boys. You're free to take the rest of the day off. Just make sure you guys don't stay out too late and sleep far into the morning." Kunsel shot Cloud a pointed look, but it was followed by a smirk when the cadet shrank into himself. "Be back by Cinderella time."

They all relaxed and chatted for a few minutes about their mission, Kumpf of course already delving into all of the foods he was going to eat at each booth and such. Cloud glanced at the wall clock above the double doors. He wanted to get to Zack's apartment on time, as the movie started soon. He looked to Ratcliff, who just smiled weakly at him, and decided he'd rather spend time with Zack than trying to get this man to talk.

Cloud said his quiet goodbye to the group, who only seemed to ignore him, and he left.

 

~*~*~

  
They exited the movie, laughing to themselves about how cheesy and unrealistic it was. But they laughed more about how they paid ten gil each to actually see it. They sat on a bench outside the theater, waiting for their cab to arrive. Cloud was a bit reluctant at first to use the cab going to the theater, but Zack managed to get Cloud distracted enough with conversation so that he wasn't too nauseous during the ride. Cloud looked almost proud of himself when they exited the vehicle, and Zack just smiled at him warmly. He really was cute in every way, although this he would never say to him.

"So what do you think of your mission? Sounds pretty fun, doesn't it?" Zack said, sucking on the rest of his beverage.

"Not really."

Zack chuckled, patting him on the knee. "Well, it does to me. Kunsel might let you guys take turns having a bit of fun, if everything is under control."

"Not interested. I just want to get it done and over with."

"Don't be a stick in the mud, buddy."

"Well, I'm not really friends with some of the guys there, except for Ratcliff. But I doubt we'll have time to do anything, anyway."

"Want to trade, then? I'm going to be stuck in a dark, damp cave."

Cloud chuckled lightly, shaking his head. "Guarding a festival doesn't seem all that bad, anymore."

"Gee, thanks," Zack said flatly, but then smiled.

They sat for a bit longer until their cab arrived and drove them back to the Shin-Ra building. Conversation didn't seem to work as well this time around with Cloud, but they managed to get back before he became too ill-feeling.

The television was turned on once more, and the couch squeaked beneath them as they sat next to each other once they reached Zack's apartment. Zack took note of how Cloud willingly sat a bit closer to him this time, and was within an arm's reach. He wasted no time in wrapping his arm around him and pulling him close.

Cloud rested his head against Zack's chest, shifting his legs up onto the couch to get closer. It was a bit surreal for him still, and it was hard for him to relax enough to allow his body to accept Zack's cuddling so easily. But when Zack began to twirl his fingertips into Cloud's hair, he smiled and let himself get lost in the embrace.

After a while, Zack began to muse about his mission, as the television in front of him soon went unnoticed. Could he really trust himself to not kill Mejia if he were to find him? He hoped that whatever Turk he was paired with tomorrow had enough discipline and strength to stop him if he were to suddenly lose it and tear the man limb from limb. To bathe his hands in that man's blood seemed more of a logical thought than absurd, as his thoughts of what Mejia did to Cloud and Elici went through his head.

Would he even use his hands? Perhaps trying out his sword would bring about some delight, but then he felt that using it on such a low form of life would dull the blade. Perhaps frying him with a plume of Firaga might suffice? Or perhaps encasing him in an elegant tomb of Blizzaga would be far more entertaining to see. He could put him on display in the Shin-Ra lobby for all to see. And if it began to melt, he'd take his frozen body to the largest mountain and ride it down like a sled until it crumbled into billions of microscopic pieces beneath him.

He was so lost in his sadistic, yet satisfying thoughts, that he didn't notice when Cloud had lowered his head down onto his lap, and began to rub his inner thigh. All was dangerously close to his groin. He was shocked back into reality when that hand on his thigh migrated between his legs.

"Cloud!"

Cloud hummed a reply, his voice heavy with lusty emotion.

"What're you doing? I thought we were just watching TV..."

"We are."

Zack shifted a bit, slumping in the couch so that his hips were farther down on the couch, giving Cloud a bit more room with his groping. He could hardly believe this was happening without any sort of coaxing to the boy. He glanced down and saw that Cloud was displaying a rather obvious erection himself. Had he just been aroused by simply cuddling?

"You were suddenly tense. I wanted to relax you a bit."

Zack choked out a small whimper as the hand began to massage the growing bulge in his jeans. "T-there are other ways to go about doing that."

"I know," he muttered as he slowly began to unzip Zack's pants.

"You've got to be kidding me, Cloud."

He looked up, confusion surfacing across his face. "Am I doing this wrong?"

"I'm just...surprised you would initiate this."

Cloud slowly sat up, and the aura of confidence that had been surrounding him finally slipped away. His eyes darted away from Zack's, and he neatly folded those wandering hands against his own stiff lap, as if to hide his arousal. "But...I thought we're supposed to do this."

"What are you talking about?"

"I thought that this is what people who were... _together_...were supposed to do for each other."

"Well, yeah, but not all the time. Remember what I said about forcing yourself?"

"But you like it."

"Well, yeah."

"And...I like it."

"Well, yeah wait...really?"

Cloud was suddenly red in the face, and he tried to hide that with his hair in his eyes. "And...we're not going to see each other for a few days, so I thought...it would be...fun."

Zack couldn't really help but to flick the button of his pants open, and watched as Cloud looked over at him with a smile he couldn't really help.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

  
...To be continued in Chapter Eighteen: Need. 


	18. Need

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

# Chapter Eighteen: Need

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"It's Reno, right?"

"Yup, I'm honored ya 'membered my name, yo. 'Though can't say I 'member yours."

Zack had seen this Turk before a while back during an invasion of Genesis copies in Sector 8. They hadn't spoken much to each other, but Zack had at least managed to remember his name. Yet somehow, given this Turk's lackadaisical manner, Zack wasn't surprised that the man didn't remember his. 

"It's Zack," he said, reaching out to shake the Turk's hand.

"I ain't gonna 'member that." He didn't take it. Instead, he reached into his pocket and grabbed a pack of cigarettes.

"It's only four letters." Zack dropped his hand, frowning at him.

"Too long, yo," Reno said, lighting a cigarette that hung loosely between his lips. "I'll just call ya 'Slick' instead."

"...That's five letters," Zack said, flatly.

"Very good, yo. Now I know that SOLDIERs are capable of countin'. Can ya do your ABC's next?" He blew smoke into Zack's face, grinning.

"I don't think I like you."

"Well good, Turks don't like SOLDIER."

"Since when?" Zack coughed a bit, waving his hand in front of his face. He hated cigarettes.

"Since I saw ya."

"Don't Turks scout for SOLDIERs?"

"Don't mean we gotta like ya."

Zack was still frowning by the time the helicopter touched down on the landing pad. The strong wind from the blades caused Reno's cigarette to extinguish, which caused a string of curse words to follow.

"I can tell this is going to be a blast," Zack said, stepping up into the helicopter. 

Reno followed, chucking his cigarette off to the side, defeated, as he entered. "So, we're after a deserter?"

"Don't the Turks read what their mission is before they dive in?" Zack sat in a seat, placing the aviation headset over his ears.

"Readin' is for chumps." Reno flicked at the microphone, causing it to pop in Zack's hearing.

Zack winced. He was not looking forward to this mission with this person if he continued this behavior. "We're after 3rd Class Angels Mejia. He deserted a few weeks ago after...an incident...with an army cadet."

"Oh yeah, I heard about that, yo. The dude tried to fu-"

Zack shot Reno a glare, and he shut up, for a moment. "He was spotted possibly heading towards a cave near the Chocobo Farm a few days ago. We think he's trying to cross the continent through the cave towards Junon."

"'Possibly'? So we ain't even sure if he's really headed there."

"...Right."

"So we're to check the marshes and stake out in the cave for this guy?"

"Right."

Reno scoffed, leaning back. He couldn't see why the Turks had to be involved in something like this. It wasn't kidnapping, it wasn't true espionage – it was just a damn hide-and-go-seek game with a lowly grunt. "This is fuckin' bogus, yo."

"Well, maybe for you, but I have a score to settle with this guy."

"Oh?"

Zack nodded, looking out a small window as they began to fly past the wastelands around Midgar. He could see a truck below, trudging towards the direction of Kalm, kicking up little puffs of dirt beneath its tires. It only had a few hours drive ahead of it, but those few hours were going to be hell for a certain blond passenger. Zack smiled softly.

Reno was waiting for the SOLDIER to continue, but just shrugged to himself when he never answered. "Whatever, yo. Like I even care."

~*~*~

Kumpf had been heckling Cloud for a good twenty minutes about his motion sickness, inquiring about every little detail. He didn't understand how he could possibly get sick over something such as the simple rocking of a moving vehicle. He eventually let up on his insipid questioning when Kunsel finally ordered him to shut his 'yap'. Kunsel had refrained from adding 'fat' in that sentence, but not that he wasn't allowed to speak like that with these men, he just didn't have the heart to be that cruel.

Unlike Mejia.

"Don't worry, Cloud. We'll be there soon, yeah." Ratcliff offered Cloud his canteen of water, but he shook his head, which was pressed against the side of the trailer, and mumbled a rather pitiful sounding 'no'. He was okay for the first ten minutes of the trip, but progressively became troubled by each bump or sway of the rickety trailer. With a company as rich as Shin-Ra, it was a wonder that they didn't invest in nicer vehicles for their army.

But now it was towards the end of their long trip, and despite Cloud's sickly moaning, he was quite happy to hear when the driver called back to them that he could see the town in the distance.

Soon the truck pulled up, and the men jumped out and stretched, then swung their assault rifles over one shoulder and teargas guns over the other. They had been ordered to only use their rifles in extreme situations, as Shin-Ra was all about image. Scaring the citizens meant scaring them from trading the mythril they mined, which Shin-Ra used for weaponry, of course.

They stood, taking in the old structure of the buildings and the quaint cobblestone ground. The citizens had begun to set up the booths which lined the entrance to the center of the town. They decorated the booths with practiced ease, and each person who worked diligently seemed to know exactly what they were to do. The men watched for a few moments, observing how each citizen worked like clockwork to set up their annual festival.

"Talk about teamwork," Haskin muttered, enamored with the precise execution of each person. It was almost...robotic.

Kunsel laughed, shutting the back of the trailer on the truck before the driver nodded, and started the vehicle. "Let's only hope we can perform like these people."

"Yes, sir," they all chimed.

"Alright! See you tomorrow at noon." Kunsel pounded on the back of the truck before it drove off. "Let's check in at the Inn, and get to work."

They had to wrangle Kumpf back into the group as they walked, as he was easily distracted by the food booths being built, but soon they made it to the Inn and up to the two rooms Shin-Ra reserved for them, and Cloud and Ratcliff entered one. Ratcliff whistled to himself, checking out the décor in the room.

"Lavish, yeah?"

"Ratcliff, it's just a room," Cloud said, dropping his seabag onto the bed next to the window.

"I know, I was being sarcastic."

Cloud didn't reply. Things still felt a bit awkward between them, and he still didn't know how to quite get the man to answer. He had asked again about Graves before they left, but Ratcliff just shook his head, never meeting Cloud's gaze with his own.

Thankfully, Kunsel entered to somewhat break the tension that began to mount, and he let out a rather large sigh before tossing himself down onto the middle bed.

"So, 'let's check in at the Inn, and get to work' means lounging around, sir?"

"Yep." Kunsel folded his arms underneath his head, and kicked a leg up onto a bent knee. "No sense in going out there when they're still setting up. I can't see fights breaking out over which colored balloon to use on the candy booth."

"I suppose not." Ratcliff joined on his own bed, stretching out. "C'mon Cloud, relax for a while, yeah?" He watched as Cloud turned from looking out the window, and shook his head.

"No, I'm okay."

"He's thinking about his girlfriend right now," Kunsel said, snorting a laugh when Cloud's face turned a bit red.

"I told you, I don't have a girlfriend."

Ratcliff snickered.

"C'mon now, Cloud, don't lie to us. Is she hot?"

"Of course _she'd_ be hot. Tens only go out with other tens, right?" Ratcliff laughed loudly when he heard Cloud growl. The bastard was poking fun at both him and Zack, and was obviously enjoying it.

"Makes sense to me. Although Cloud, you're not so much a ten. I'd say an eight point five on the hotness scale."

"I can't believe you idiots are having this conversation." Cloud hid his embarrassment behind his hands.

"Hey, 'idiots'?" Kunsel sat up a bit, raising an eyebrow. "'Kay, fine. You're a ten, then, you big baby.

"S-sorry, sir." 

Kunsel fell back onto the bed, sighing once more. "Damn, Cloud. It's okay, I was just giving you a hard time. Loosen up."

"Sorry, sir. I'll try." Cloud turned his head back to the window, smiling rather widely to himself, as the memory of spontaneously pleasuring Zack the night before played into his mind. He really _was_ trying.

Ratcliff looked at Cloud with an amused face, as he could see his smiling reflection in the glass.

~*~*~

The sky began to darken, splashed with rich hues of pink and orange as the sun slowly set. Stars started to emerge on the horizon, bringing forth the anticipated nightfall that the citizens of Kalm were awaiting on. They enjoyed the ambience that their festivals brought as they lit up the sky artificially, as if they could play some sort of god and overpower the night.

The cool air was warmed with the sensation of mirth and the sounds of children laughing. They danced around their fathers, brothers and neighbors who had made it home safely from the mythril cave, bringing back the promise of stability and happiness. It was a hard time for everyone, and being apart from loved ones for so long became taxing on the families that were left behind. To be able to hold their loves in their arms again meant the future, and meant more time to be spent enjoying it together.

There had been rumors of a large serpent-like creature – dubbed the Midgar Zolom – emerging from the marshes, which originally was speculated as a myth to keep the young children from following their loved ones into the cave. Men would return home soaked in exhaustion from their journeys, and they would retell the tale as if fact. The townsfolk dismissed their tales, blaming ailment or delirium, but soon more sightings of the beast began stirring up, and from more credible sources. So for the men to return home safely, meant cause for celebration.

And the celebration looked quite enjoyable. Cloud watched as children ran past him, giggling with arms full of goodies, and bellies full of good food. The parents would walk past, arm in arm, chuckling between themselves, and just appreciating each other's company.

Cloud was reminded of a simpler time, when his father was still alive. Things were easy on his family back then, or at least that he remembered. He was a bit young when his father was around, so every memory he had was a happy one. He realized that being a child meant pure innocence, and a naïveté that was overlooked and accepted. He was never really spoiled by his parents, despite being an only child. He was given what he needed to be a content child. Food was never scarce, a warm home was constant, and love was never-ending.

And even when his father died, that never changed.

"How ya doin' over there, Strife?"

Cloud jumped when he heard someone's voice in his ear, and he had nearly forgotten he was wearing a radio headset. It was hard to hear at times when one of his teammates was speaking, as it picked up a bit of the surrounding noises. The festival was quite noisy as the night went on and the people became more drunk.

"Situation is normal, sir."

Kunsel laughed. "I can see that. I was asking how you were doing."

Cloud looked into the crowd and could see Kunsel standing near a booth, waving at him.

"You looked a bit down," Kunsel said.

"Doesn't he always?" Kumpf came on the radio, and it sounded like he had a mouthful of food.

"Sorry, sir. I was just thinking," Cloud said, stiffening a bit as Kunsel watched him. He hadn't realized that he'd started to become lax as the night went on, and as his mind went on its usual musing journey.

"Doesn't he always?" That was Zabalza now. His voice seemed a bit slurred. He had probably slammed back a few beers on duty, which was really no surprise.

"You two better be vigilant. It is a party, but you're not invited. You're here to work, so do it." 

"Aw jeez, is that Haskin?" Kumpf scoffed, and it sounded like he stuffed something into his mouth. "I know we call you 'Boss' and all, but it doesn't mean you're in charge of my ass."

"You'd have to pay Haskin double to be in charge of your big ass, Comfy." Zabalza laughed a bit loudly in the radio, and it caused everyone else to wince.

"Fuck off, Zabalza," Kumpf said, albeit laughing. He could take insults towards his size with grace. He almost seemed to enjoy it, in a twisted sort of way. Or perhaps he had just learned to accept himself, and didn't let things bother him.

"Alright, who's gonna win me over to let them go on a break this time?" Kunsel said, and Cloud could see he was eyeing a couple that was arguing a bit over something at a booth. Although his voice remained upbeat, his body language suddenly became tense as he watched the scene unfold in front of him.

Cloud tensed as well, his hand smoothing over the butt of the teargas gun, preparing for what could possibly come. But the couple just argued a bit more, before embracing each other in a drunken hug, and walked off as if nothing had happened. Everyone returned to normal around them, as did Kunsel.

"I'm starving over here, sir," Kumpf said, despite the obvious chewing over the radio.

"I'm thirsty over here, sir," Zabalza said, despite the obvious drunken slurring.

"I'm okay, sir," Haskin said.

"Well, seeing as Kumpf and Zabalza are _already on break_ , I'll let either Ratcliff or Cloud go."

Cloud shook his head at Kunsel, despite the growling in his stomach. He was hungry, but he wanted to wait a bit longer until the crowd thinned out a bit by the booth he was eyeing. Wutaian barbeque – it reminded him of Zack. The smell of the smoke floated over to him, and in a strange sort of way it almost aroused him with the association of it, and the _activity_ he shared with Zack on that night.

"Okay Ratty, you're up."

"Yes, sir," Ratcliff finally said. He had been rather quiet the entire time so far.

Kumpf started to laugh. "No running off with Cloud and making out with him on your break, Ratty."

Cloud blinked.

"Kumpf!" Kunsel said, and Cloud could hear it in stereo as his voice boomed through the earpiece, and traveled from his location over to him. A few people around stopped and stared at the SOLDIER rather fearfully. "No breaks for you, now!"

"Do I sense jealousy, Comfy?" Ratcliff said jokingly, although a somewhat nervous or embarrassed tone came through his bantering words.

"Oh honey, you couldn't handle this bitch," Kumpf said, attempting his best feminine voice.

"You're right, I don't think I'd be able to find your dick in all that fat, even if I tried," Ratcliff said.

Everyone, even Haskin, started to laugh a bit raucously.

Cloud's laughter died slowly as Kumpf's words registered in his mind. It was a joke, he knew, but all jokes had some form of truth to them, or behind them.

~*~*~

"Ya know, Slick, Cissnei has the hots for ya. Gonna fuck her?" Reno said, despite Zack's lack of attention to the conversation Reno was trying to hold with him. Zack could tell that the man was dying for a cigarette during the long helicopter flight, and it seemed that his only way of taking his mind off this urge was to annoy Zack.

"Don't plan on it, and stop calling me Slick."

"What're ya, gay or somethin'?"

"Sorry, the headphones seem to be getting some interference. Can't hear ya," Zack said, staring out the window still. The gray clouds were low in the sky, and softly flowed past the craft. He was beginning to feel a bit closed in, and staring out the window into the landscape below helped at first, but soon ceased to work. Perhaps he was just anxious about slicing Mejia's limbs off one by one.

"Whatever Slick, that's cool with me, man. Don't gotta get all _anal_ on me, yo."

"I'm not interested in her. She's not my type of girl, anyway. I like mine to be elegant and...angelic..." Zack trailed off, and he couldn't stop himself from smiling at that word.

"Ah, that stupid grin. Ya either got laid, or you're in love. Either way I think my stomach is turning, yo."

Zack's smile faded quickly. "Did I do something to offend you or something?"

"Nah man, it's cool. I was just gettin' a feel for ya, that's all. Most SOLDIERs are dicks, but you're not like the rest of 'em. I like ya Slick, don't worry, yo."

"Serious? Well, I still don't think I like you."

"Whatever ya say, _Zack_."

Zack looked back to Reno, who was grinning at him, and he slowly grinned back.

The helicopter finally descended to the land below, and the two men jumped out quickly before it began to rise once more. The wind from the blades caused a ripple through the water in the marsh, and the tall grass that grew from beneath the surface bowed down by the gusts.

After the helicopter left, the two began to trudge silently through the shallow waters. It was cold, and Reno hissed in complaint every once in a while, especially when they would wade through a deeper part of the marsh and the water crawled up past their waists. Reno had muttered something about being thankful that his cigarettes were in his breast pocket of his jacket.

The searching began to get boring for the both of them, although their vigilance for any signs of disturbance in the wildlife, or breakage in the reeds and cattails around them never faltered. Their trained eyes surveyed their surroundings, taking in each slight movement in the water, or the swaying of the tall grass, despite their quiet bantering between them.

They approached a large hammock of trees nestled nearby with branches that intertwined within another. Zack motioned over to the trees, and Reno nodded. They moved as silently as they could, causing only a gentle sound of lapping water against their legs. The sound was soon drowned out by a breeze that began from the collecting rainclouds from above. The men looked to the gray sky as raindrops began to patter against their cool skin, and soon the rain beat against the surface of the marsh. This masked the sound of their movements, but significantly worked against them as well. They were no longer able to hear any slight noise that might come from their surroundings, alerting them of any possible life form nearby. If Mejia had picked up on the sound of the helicopter a few miles back, it was likely that he could be hiding out in this cove of trees, waiting for whatever may pass.

Acoustic location of a helicopter or aircraft was basic training taught even to the Shin-Ra infantrymen. For the beating of a helicopter to be heard coming towards an individual's location, only to have it disappear back the way it came meant that the enemy was depositing its troops to follow.

It was a risk they were willing to take. Judging by Mejia's last known location spotted in the plains near Kalm a few days prior, and judging that he was seen on foot, they calculated that if he were to traverse through the cave as speculated, he should be arriving at the marsh by day's end. There was the possibility that he hitched a ride from a traveler by vehicle, or used a chocobo, and that would have significantly reduced traveling time from Kalm to the marshes. They were to check the marshes, and move onto the mythril cave next. 

Shin-Ra put the base at Junon on alert for the AWOL SOLDIER, and deployed reinforcements on the other side of the cave, if Zack and Reno were to flush him out. If no signs of Mejia arose by the end of the second day, Shin-Ra was going to mobilize more search units around the surrounding area.

Zack wanted to be the one to catch him, however.

They moved into the trees cautiously, and the scent of the marsh gas hit them as it was held in by the canopy of trees above them.

"Fuck, that's rank!" Reno whispered, covering his nose with his hand.

Zack frowned at the smell, partially because it _was_ quite bad, but it greatly muddled his sharp senses. If there was someone nearby, he'd be able to pick out their scent better than Reno would have, even if it was only a little. But now the smell of the gas was masking any possibility of doing so.

They leaned against some trees, resting for a moment as they had been walking for quite some time, and particularly Reno looked as if he needed a bit of a breather. Zack closed his eyes for a moment, concentrating his hearing through the pattering of the rain hitting the leaves above, and the sound of it hissing against the surface of the water around them. He could hear birds chirping above as they ruffled their feathers in the falling rain. Their little noises made him think of a chocobo, which then made him think of Cloud.

Zack smiled to himself, unaware of Reno's quizzical look towards him as he watched him from the other tree. 

This SOLDIER sure was a strange one.

And then Zack suddenly stiffened, sucking in a quick breath through his nose as he turned to peer around the trunk of the tree. His eyes were darting rapidly ahead.

Reno went to open his mouth to say something, but Zack held out his hand to stop him. Reno turned, straining his hearing and his sight for anything that might have caused the SOLDIER to react, but he only saw more trees, and the glowing will o' wisps floating lazily between.

"There's nothing there, yo," Reno finally whispered, despite the quiet warning from Zack not to speak.

Zack just ignored him and began to make his way from trunk to trunk, peering around each one to a circular clearing between the trees ahead. As he moved, his hand went up to remove his sword from the sheath on his back.

Reno followed behind, smirking at the SOLDIER. He thought that the man might have been overreacting just a bit, but regardless, Reno still removed a handgun from his breast pocket. Using his EMR would just be suicide in the water, and even as reckless as he was, he wasn't that stupid.

They entered the clearing of trees, and Zack was struggling with focusing his eyes ahead of him as the will o' wisps darted between the trees, causing his eyes to be misled, as if it were the source of the noise he heard. He cursed under his breath as he paused for a moment, waiting. He felt Reno stand beside him as he closed his eyes, straining his hearing once more. 

The birds above suddenly became frightened, and they took to the skies in a frenzied mob. Their echoing cries drowned out the sound of the rain.

A dark figure emerged before them, and weapons were quickly drawn.

"'Bout time we saw some action, yo," Reno said, cocking his gun as the figure suddenly lunged at them.

~*~*~

As the night went on, more and more citizens joined the lively festival to partake in the fun - and alcohol, of course.

And as dedicated to the job that Ratcliff was, he still snuck in a drink on his break. He sat on a bench casually, a beer in one hand and a roasted corncob in the other. Walking back and forth on patrol through the main setup of booths was tiring. Moving through a sea of restless children, drunken adults, and the people manning the booths shouting that their pretzels were softer than those from across the way, took a toll on the usually docile man. Large crowds made him nervous, and frankly it filed down his patience quickly. He always hated patrolling large functions such as this, or rowdy crowds.

There was a riot once outside of the Shin-Ra building, when the company decided to hike the mako taxes on the citizens of Midgar, and soon a swarm of angry people assembled outside the property. A few units were deployed to try and contain the riot, and Ratcliff had unfortunately been one of the men to respond. Pushing back the crowd with the barricades didn't successfully block him from every person, and soon he was being grabbed and prodded, and pulled into the crowd. His barricade was somehow torn from his hands, and if it hadn't been for Graves who had easily pulled Ratcliff from the mob, he might have been trampled over. Since then, he grew anxious around large groups of people that had the potential to form into threat.

He picked at his corncob, plucking off the burnt kernels dejectedly. His mind traveled to Graves then, recalling how the man had saved him from being ripped apart by the citizens. He had hoisted him up rather roughly, and at first Ratcliff mistook him for part of the mob, but once Graves had wrapped his large arms around him and shielded him from prying hands, he realized Graves had been the one that saved him.

Ratcliff was weak – always finding himself in some sort of bind. He had been much smaller when he first enlisted in the army and, like Cloud, had been picked on for his thinner frame. He had tried to bulk his muscles up, but doing so was proving to be a very daunting task. His body just seemed to refuse packing on any sort of prominent muscle, despite all of the protein shakes he managed to stomach. 

He had met Graves in the gym. The man spent most of his time that wasn't being used for the army or getting himself incredibly drunk in there using the free weights and the machines like they were some strange extension of his body. Ratcliff was new to the concept of working out, and he had nervously asked him for help on how to operate a certain machine. Graves just lifted an eyebrow as if he were speaking to him in another language, scoffed, told him to get lost, and then walked away. That was his first impression of the man.

Ratcliff was assigned to Kunsel's unit, and he joined with knees that were banging together and teeth that were chattering from anxiety. He was surrounded by gruff, inconsiderate men, and he then wondered why he bothered to join the Shin-Ra army to begin with. His reasons were unlike most of the men that joined, who were striving to become like Sephiroth. He hoped to come out a better man in all ways. No longer shy, no longer timid in everything that he did. He was scared to ask for help from people, but he couldn't stand to do things on his own. It was ironic that the first person he asked help from told him off. He kept to himself for quite some time afterward.

A few weeks passed by, and Elici had begun to talk to him a little, more pushing food on him in the cafeteria than anything else by that point. He said Ratcliff was too skinny, and that he needed to fatten up or he'd be eaten alive by some of the men in their unit. Ratcliff usually just smiled at him weakly, and did as told, but never really said much to him, despite sharing a bunk nearby, and being paired with him in training courses. He had noticed that Elici and Graves interacted with each other in friendly banter, but some of it was spats.

If Ratcliff didn't know any better, he could almost see them as quarreling lovers at times. But, Elici was married, and Graves had an unnecessary abundance of dirty magazines with women stockpiled wherever his cigarettes and flasks didn't take up space. He never understood why they even bothered to interact with each other at times, as they just came across as having nothing in common other than an interest to bicker about every little thing that bothered them about each other. Graves was obviously a bit loose, while Elici ran a tighter ship than some of the SOLDIERs that were in charge. Perhaps they just couldn't understand the other's ways of living, and yet were intrigued by the way they somehow did it.

There was a point that the two started to get heated with each other during some liberty in the barracks. They had been trying to decide on a place to go and get drunk in town, and neither could agree on a bar. Something so simple and seemingly harmless, and yet it managed to turn into a full blown argument that involved some fairly heady insults, and wrinkling of each other's clothing in their hands. Ratcliff recalled the other men in the barracks backing away, and going about their business like this was a usual thing – which of course it was – but Ratcliff could never get used to that sort of thing. Even though he and Graves had only interacted that one time, he was still part of his unit and felt at least some sort of connection to him, despite no connection being returned back.

"Isn't anyone going to stop this?" was Ratcliff's simple question to the rest of the men around, who only just shrugged, scoffed, or outright ignored him. It was the first real thing he had said to anyone since he had joined the Shin-Ra army, and the one time he said something, it fell on deaf ears. Regardless, it was a personal best for him by that point and somehow it felt good, and made his next decision a bit easier.

The two began to get physical, and he hurled himself into the fight to stop them.

At the time, it seemed like a good idea, but when he came out of the fight more bruised and bloodied than either Elici or Graves, he instantly regretted it. But, the sympathetic and guilty looks on both their faces almost made needing eleven stitches in the forehead and chin almost worth it.

But then, when Graves told him that if he ever interfered again, he'd wear Ratcliff's skin as new designer sneakers with matching belt and wallet, he knew it hadn't been worth it. So a few months went by and he did his best to avoid the man, and he never spoke unless absolutely necessary. He assumed that Graves felt a bit bad about telling him off like that, and it seemed that the man tried a few failed attempts to be... _nice_ to Ratcliff. But his idea of being nice was a slew of pestering, and teasing him about his 'lack of balls', as he would put it. After a while, it seemed like he almost became enamored by how such a scrawny little wimp like 'Ratty' could survive in such a place. Eventually, though, he lost interest and went back to taking his wayward energy out on Elici.

After some rigorous training and discipline, Ratcliff began to emerge from his shell, if only a little. He would talk to others around him, and generally got a good vibe off of most of the other men around. He _was_ a shy person, but he forced himself to get comfortable with people. At first the others thought he was a different person, and could hardly believe that it was the same man who was scared to even fire off an assault rifle when he first joined.

He had charm, and he had wit, although at times it was forced to either fit in or defend himself from confrontation from others, but he masked it fairly well, and by that point only Elici could tell he was still a bit uncomfortable with himself. They had become closer, especially when Elici helped him out a few times in the battlefield, and not to mention all of the fatherly vegetable pushing on him helped with their bond, as well. Ratcliff didn't grow up with a father, so Elici was almost like the next best thing, despite the two being the same age. And perhaps Ratcliff had developed a bit of a thing for the man, but never acted on it. Elici was married, and that was the end of that.

And it had seemed that Ratcliff himself was a target for a certain 3rd Class SOLDIER's attention. Mejia had a little thing for Ratcliff, and he had boldly approached him about it one day. Mejia wasn't a bad looking fellow; in fact, his sharp features were hard to look away from. He had a persuasive gaze in his eyes that was hard to say no to, especially when cornered against a wall and being smiled at with an enticing smile. Back then, Mejia wasn't such a bad fellow. He was a little rough with some of the men, and was quite vulgar, but wasn't like how he was now. In fact, he was charming enough to win Ratcliff over, and soon they secretly started seeing each other during their liberty. 

It didn't take much for Ratcliff to give in to his carnal needs, as his shy nature melted away when it came down to his more natural urges. It was his chance to break loose and feel like someone else for a change, and Mejia's aggressive behavior in and out of the bed seemed to bring that out. He would now hate to admit it, but Mejia helped him out of the rest of that shell he hid behind as their relationship evolved rather quickly.

Ratcliff wasn't looking for love, and neither was Mejia. It was more of a mutual companionship – someone to help them both feel like they were needed. Mejia never really made love to him, it was more like _fucking_ than anything else, but the way that Mejia had clung onto him and growled his name during had connected with Ratcliff on a deeper level than an 'I love you' ever would.

Ratcliff was surprisingly kinky when he was comfortable enough with himself, and of course this brought out a feral side in Mejia. Bed-names turned to vulgar insults, nipping turned to biting, spanking turned to slapping, feeling needed turned to feeling used. Arguments between them would lead to angry sex, and that left physical marks all over Ratcliff's body. Elici had noticed a few bruises on him, but Ratcliff just said he got a little zealous in training. Elici never had believed him for one moment.

Ratcliff and Mejia had gotten into an argument outside a bar when Mejia got too drunk and was trying to force Ratcliff into oral sex in the men's bathroom. He probably would have done it if it had been a _single_ bathroom, and not one filled with other stalls and other bar patrons. Ratcliff was a bit daring, but not _that_ daring. Mejia became belligerent, and dragged Ratcliff into an alleyway. Of course, by then, Ratcliff was no pushover, and he verbally stood his ground with his decision, even as Mejia slammed him up against the wall of the bar roughly. Mejia began tearing at Ratcliff's clothes, calling him every derogatory name under the sun, threatening to rape him right there on the spot. Ratcliff told him to fuck off, which enraged him more than he would have thought. And soon he found his head connecting to the wall, followed by a stream of blood running down his face as more of his clothes were being clawed at frantically.

He could hear someone shouting at the end of the alleyway. It was a familiar voice, but somehow he couldn't quite place it. It was unique; it was loud and forceful. There was a scuffling beside him as he sank down, holding his throbbing head with one hand, and covering himself with the other. He could hear Mejia slurring and shouting, until the sound of him letting out a pained grunt followed. Ratcliff felt himself being hoisted up by large arms, and he could hear that voice now speaking in a soft tone – it was almost caring. 

It really was always Graves who had saved him.

Graves took him to a hotel for him to rest for the night. He helped him to a bed, and tended to the wound on his scalp before beginning to leave. But he looked back at Ratcliff, who was curled into himself, burying his head in his knees, and he just couldn't find himself to leave. He grunted to himself, calling Ratcliff a pain in the ass, but then sat down on the edge of the bed with him. They talked long into the night, as Ratcliff had no one else to turn to, so Graves sat and listened to the man's troubles. Graves wasn't much support on the matter, but he listened and occasionally put in his two cents as best he could. But, despite all of this, Graves told him he would take care of him. It was as simple as that, and then he left. That was his _real_ first impression of the man. 

Afterward, Ratcliff parted from his strange relationship with Mejia, despite Mejia's begging for him to stay with him. It was the first and last time that Ratcliff had ever seen the man look slightly remorseful. But it wasn't enough for Ratcliff, and then the man's true nature began to show. He began to berate the men more in their unit, and even started to become more confrontational. Then there was rumor that Mejia had tried to pursue Zack Fair, but was turned down. Of course, rumors were rumors, but somehow after that rumor began floating around, the man's behavior became haywire.

Mejia would take whatever deep seeded rage out on Ratcliff most of the time during training, and it was to be expected. Of course, the only people who were aware of the real reasons why were Ratcliff and Graves, and Mejia himself. 

But then Cloud came along, and suddenly Mejia's focus on Ratcliff disappeared. At first, Ratcliff was relieved, but when he saw that look – that feral look – in Mejia's eyes when he looked at Cloud, he had to keep him away from the young boy. Cloud was naïve, and he was weak. Ratcliff didn't want to see Cloud go down the same road that he had with his life in the army, and with someone like Mejia. Graves must have seen this too, as his eyes were trained closely on both Mejia and Cloud constantly.

As he formed a friendship with the young boy – as they all did – he realized that he and Cloud were a lot alike. He needed to protect Cloud. He couldn't be the one that needed the protecting any longer. He was tired of being indecisive, he was tired of being manipulated by his own fleeting confidence – he was tired of himself. He needed to be of use to someone, if he couldn't be for himself.

And the night that Mejia had attacked Cloud, he hated himself for not getting there in time. He was drifting in and out of sleep, every once in a while poking his head down from his bunk to check to see if the boy was there. He began to grow worried – almost like a parent – but sleep got the better of him. It was the actual thump of Cloud's head against the wall that had woken him up. He paused for a moment, trying to bring himself out of his drowsiness, and he could hear muffled whimpers and what sounded like his old lover's voice. He recognized that tone – that sick, sexual tone that he would get when things became a bit scary and raunchy. He glanced down again to Cloud's bunk, and immediately smacked Graves with his pillow and woke him. They both dropped down, and as if Elici somehow sensed the aura in the air, he was getting up himself. By the time they had exited the barracks, Sephiroth already had pinned the man against the wall with his fearsome strength. Ratcliff immediately ran to Cloud, Elici was back in the barracks waking Kunsel, and Graves was trying to get a piece of Mejia while Sephiroth held him down.

"Graves, what about Cloud!?" Ratcliff had said, but Graves simply ignored him. He knew Ratcliff could take care of him. 

But now, raw fingers were mindlessly plucking the kernels on the cold corncob, and Ratcliff looked below to the ground where the majority of his snack lay in tiny squished pieces between his feet. His cob was empty now, and he sighed, chucking it into a nearby garbage can. He swigged the rest of his beer, and threw that in there as well before looking around for something else to kill the few minutes he had left on his break.

And he had heard it. It was that familiar voice that he now could place quite easily. It was unique; it was still loud and still forceful.

There, standing by a booth, Ratcliff saw him.

"Graves!"

~*~*~

… To be continued in Chapter Nineteen: Motive of a Child. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heeee, the wonderful MeykoLove (fanfiction.net) aka Nolfalvrell (deviantART) drew tons of fan-art for Malady. :3 Go here for some: http://nolfalvrell.deviantart.com/gallery/#Malady 
> 
> There are more located in her main gallery which have yet to me moved to her "Malady" gallery. Those pictures include concept sketches of all four of my main original characters (Elici, Graves, Ratcliff and Mejia), as well as other sketches including Zack and Cloud. So cute!!! :D


	19. Motive of a Child

The force was unreal.  It shook the two men down to their core as they were thrown up against the trees around them.  They had been fighting for quite some time, dodging attacks from beneath the marsh, and from above them simultaneously.  Their eyes were frantic, the muscles in their arms and legs strained with their movements through the murky waters, and their lungs were still from the breaths they held in their chest.

The water would ripple from all directions, and they would try to trail their eyes along the unsettled surface to find the source of the disturbance.  It was almost instantaneous when the figure had lunged at them, and they barely had time to prepare themselves for the attack.  Zack had been pinned against a tree, while Reno was knocked into the air from below the surface of the water.  They managed to fight the figure back, allowing a moment of rest.   

Zack finally caught sight of the figure between the trees darting about, snaking around each tree as if trying to distract the men.  The movements were hard to follow, but he somehow managed to keep his eyes locked on as it came closer.

Reno widened his stance, preparing.  "Is this shit for real?"

"Don't let your guard down, Reno."

"Ain't gotta tell me twice, yo."

A large serpent emerged from the waters, rising up on its body.  Water dripped from its mouth as it opened, revealing its massive fangs while it hissed.  Its large tail broke the surface of the marsh and slapped against the water, sending it spraying outwards.

Reno whistled, shaking his head.  "How long do ya think it is?  Twenty feet?  We're gonna need a pretty damn big rat to satisfy this thing, yo."

"Or just a Turk," Zack said, grinning at Reno who only just scoffed and threw his head off to the side.  "So?  Heads or tails?"

Reno looked to Zack and grinned widely.  "You can take both, yo."  

Zack chuckled and spun his sword in his hand before running forward, aiming the tip at the serpent's head.  "Fair enough."

The creature reared up, stretching itself to the treetops.  Its tail twitched against the water, and its eyes watched Zack's swift movements as he lunged for it, swinging his sword towards its body in a blur.  And in an instant, the serpent opened its mouth once more, and projected several streams of its venom onto its prey.

Zack was quick enough to shield most of the venom by ducking behind his sword, but he fell to the water below with a startled cry as it began to burn into his skin.  He landed, stumbling and had to shove his sword into the murky marsh floor below to steady himself.  "What the fuck!  It can spit poison!"  Zack said sputtering as he quickly splashed his eyes and mouth with water.  He heard a few gunshots behind him as Reno began to unload the clip, and he tried to see if the Turk had hit his mark, but his vision was blurry either from water or the venom taking affect.

The serpent convulsed from the bullets as they tore through its skin, and it let out an angry hiss once more.  It dove underneath the marsh, its shadow passing under the floating vegetation on the water, making it hard for Reno to follow its movements.

"Get that shit outta your eyes so ya can help me, yo!"

Zack growled, standing on his feet as he gripped the hilt of his sword tightly.  "I'm fine," he said, trying to see past the blurred scenery around him.  His skin was burning, and he was having a hard time keeping his eyes open  they were relentlessly trying to close on their own from the pain.  "Which way?"

Reno glanced around, trying to catch the moving shadow underneath the water, but lost sight of it.  "Shit, dunno."

Zack cursed a few times, rubbing his eyes with his hands.  "Which way!?" he said again, his voice becoming louder, more agitated.

"For fuck's sake!  Hang on!"  Reno looked around, trying to concentrate, trying to pick up any slight movement in the water.  It was hard to determine what ripple in the water was caused by them, the rain, or the serpent itself.  Each sound around him was becoming distracting, including the pained groans coming from the SOLDIER beside him, and he just couldn't wrap his mind around the situation.  "Let's just get the hell outta here, yo!"

"We can't, that thing will just pick up on our movements through the water.  We have to kill it."

"That thing is fuckin' huge, ya think we can kill that thing with you like this?"

"I'm fine."

"Like hell ya are.  You're blind as a bat, yo."

Zack gritted his teeth.  His vision was practically gone  lost in a haze of crawling darkness.  Now he couldn't tell if his vision was turning this way from pain, or from the venom itself.  It didn't matter, they needed to do something, and fast.

Reno grabbed Zack's wrist and began running through the trees.  Zack blindly followed along, yelling protests to Reno to stay and fight.  Their movements were frantic and clumsy, causing their location to be broadcast through the surface of water for all creatures interested.  Reno slipped between the trees, and as Zack followed, his sword would strike up against the trunks, making him stumble from confusion.

"C'mon SOLDIER get your ass in gear, yo!  This ain't the time or place to be eaten alive!" 

"We can't outrun it, Reno!"

Reno scoffed as they reached the open marsh, passing through the last of the trees.  "Fine, if ya wanna stay here and be eaten, that's fine by-"

Zack heard a hard slap against the water, and then silence.

"Reno...?"  

~*~*~


Ratcliff tossed his helmet to the bench he was sitting on and began to run through the sea of people.  His heart was racing fast, his vision tunneling to focus on the man in the crowd.  He could see him  he stuck out like a sore thumb compared to everyone else.  His tall frame, dark brown skin, and wiry, fuzzy hair was unmistakable.  His booming voice cut through the chatter around, and his laugh  it was forceful and strong.  Ratcliff could pick that laugh out of a million.

"Graves!"  He ran through a cluster of people who were clamoring around a gaming booth.  They stood to watch someone make a drunken ass out of themselves by trying to knock down a pyramid of bottles with a ball, and miserably failing.  

He called the man's name several times, to which Graves just continued to casually walk through the festival, glancing at the different booths around, and to occasionally step around the children who would suddenly stop running in front of him so they could gawk at the toy prizes lining the games.

And several of those children suddenly turned their attention on Ratcliff, and ran up to him with wide eyes, large grins, and an abundance of questions about the guns he had around his shoulders.

"Can we touch it?"

"What?"  Ratcliff glanced from the children back up to Graves' form sifting through the crowd.

"Can we play with it?"

Ratcliff growled.  He normally liked children, and had played with them on the slopes back in his hometown of the Icicle Inn on occasion, but now was not the time to humor their little minds.

"Have you ever killed anyone with your gun!?"

"What?  No."  Ratcliff was fidgeting now, as the parents of the children finally came up and began to apologize over and over again for their children's youthful curiosity.  They blocked Ratcliff's view of Graves, and he cursed under his breath.

"Oh!  He said a swear!" one of the children cried.

Perhaps he hadn't said it under his breath like he thought he had.  He stammered a sheepish apology and sidestepped them quickly.  Another curse word left his mouth, this time confident it wasn't said under his breath.  Graves was gone.

Ratcliff felt like throttling the children, but then would rather take that out on the parents for not watching their offspring closely.  But he thought against that, assuming that his job would be at stake, so he ran past them, even as the kids began to chase him playfully.  He heard their parents snapping, and their little groans of disapproval followed.

He called after Graves again, spinning around in the crowd to try to find him.  He was unaware that his breathing began to quicken, as did his pulse as people walked past him, shoving up against him mindlessly, or brushing against him as they turned to face the nearby booths.  He shuddered and felt as if he were being closed in by the citizens and the buildings around.  His skin began to flush, and then the thought of having an anxiety attack began to swarm in his head.

He couldn't stop thinking about it, and all the people so close to him.  He wanted them to go away, he wanted them to stop touching him and yelling around him.  He could hear each person's voice beating against his brain, digging into his nerves sharply.  He couldn't control his mind as it began to race, and his vision began to blur.

He hadn't had a bad anxiety attack since the riot outside of the Shin-Ra building.  Since Graves had saved him.

_Not now, no.  Go away, go away.  Shit, not now.  Please..._

He somehow managed to stumble through the crowd and found himself against the side of a building in an alleyway shortly after.  He couldn't even remember getting there, but somehow he did.  He leaned his forehead against the cool brick of the building and sighed, his breath quivering from his lungs.

"Fuck!" he said, pounding his fist against the side of the building.  "Fuck, fuck, fuck!"  He slowly sank down with a sickly moan, angry at himself for succumbing to a long forgotten ailment, and for losing sight of Graves.

He didn't notice when someone stepped into the alleyway, until the figure's body blocked the light from the festival.

"I thought ya stopped fuckin' in alleys a long time ago."

Ratcliff turned his head slowly, sweat trickling across his brow.  "Graves."

"Yeah."

"What're you...doing here?"  He tried to stand straight, but his knees gave out on him.

Graves shrugged casually.  "Ya know, enjoyin' the sights and shit."

Ratcliff sank to his bottom, leaning his back against the building for support.  "'And shit'?"

"Scopin' out the ladies."

"Bullshit."

"That's why I called it 'shit', bro."

"What are you doing, yeah?"

Graves scoffed, folding his arms across his large chest.  "Thought I went over this."

Ratcliff slammed his fist behind him, smacking the side of the building with a disturbing crack.  He winced slightly.  "No!  What the fuck are you doing leaving Shin-Ra!?"

Graves recoiled his head, blinking in surprise at Ratcliff's unnatural outburst.  "Bro, settle down, a'ight?  I got motive."

"Motive!?  For just walking out on us!?"

"Seriously, lower yer fuckin' voice."

"No!  Fuck you!  I have half a mind to beat you senseless right now!"

Graves laughed, unfolding his arms.  "You and I both know that ain't possible."

"That's your fucking problem!  You think you're invincible!  You think that nothing can ever get you, so you just run off and do your own fucking thing!  Well fuck you, Graves!  Fuck you up the ass!"

Ratcliff didn't realize that he was crying.

"C'mon bro.  Don't start that shit.  I thought ya were also done cryin' in alleys."

He hung his head, his blond hair falling into his eyes, as if to hide his tears that had already been seen by his friend.  "I'm not crying, yeah," he mumbled, his voice cracking.  "I'm not."

Graves frowned sympathetically, but made no attempt to console him physically, or verbally.

"Don't leave Shin-Ra, please.  You...you said that..." he trailed off, shaking his head to dismiss what he already began saying.

"I ain't got time for this."

Ratcliff shut his mouth, turning his head away from him angrily.  He said nothing.

"See ya, Jo-"

He cut Graves off quickly when he realized he was about to walk away.  "What about Cloud?"

"What about 'im?" Graves said, almost chuckling.

"Who's gonna watch over him?"  Ratcliff finally looked at him, their gaze meeting.  Several people ran past the alley, laughing joyously.  It made Ratcliff growl inaudibly at their mirth. 

"That ain't my job no more."

Ratcliff felt a tug in his heart, and he knew pain was written all over his face.  He didn't try to hide it  Graves knew, of course.   _That's right, he has Zack...he doesn't need us, does he, Graves?_

"Are ya done?  I gotta get goin'.  I told ya I have motive for doin' what I do."

"And what's that?  Revenge for Elici?"

Graves frowned a bit, shifting his weight on his legs.  "Well, Elici can't do it, so someone's gotta do it for 'im."

"That's nonsense."

"So what?  Ya jus' want this guy to go 'round doin' what he did to Elici to anyone he fuckin' pleases?"

"Let Shin-Ra handle it, yeah."

"Fuck Shin-Ra!  Fuck _them_ up the ass!  What's Shin-Ra done for us other than put a little gil in our pockets?  It ain't 'nough for me."

"It's a _business_ , Graves.  What do you expect them to do for us when we are the ones that work for _them_ , yeah?"

Graves was gritting his teeth noticeably, and Ratcliff was thankful for being quite some distance away from him as he looked ready to pounce.  "So yer okay with Cloud gettin' molested and shit, and Shin-Ra doin' nuffin' 'bout it?"

"Yes, I'm okay with that."

"What?"

"No!  I mean Shin-Ra will take care of it.  Don't worry, Graves.  We haven't heard anything because it's probably just top secret, yeah.  Of course they're not going to turn a blind eye on all of this."

"So ya sayin' Shin-Ra didn't turn a blind eye on them 1st Class SOLDIERs that went AWOL?  They announced that they're dead, but ya know it ain't true, bro.  Sumthin's up their dirty little sleeve."

"How do you know they're not really dead, yeah?"

"I dun fuckin' know, ask Zack!  He seems to know what might've happened to 'em!  Knowin' Shin-Ra, they're prolly held captive as some sort of sick fuckin' experiment or sumthin'."

Ratcliff finally stood, dusting off his trousers.  "You're an idiot, yeah."

"Ya just can't handle the truth, bro.  Never could.  Ya just run away when the situation jus' gets too scary for ya," Graves said, peering into the uncomfortable expression Ratcliff held.  "Ya gotta be a strong man, bro.  Otherwise ya can't protect him."

Ratcliff looked away, rubbing his upper arms with his hands.   _He doesn't need me._  
"Whatever ya say."

Ratcliff blinked.  Had he really said that out loud?

"Look, bud.  I was there for ya.  An' I was there for Cloud.  I've...never been there for Elici, ya know?  But...he...he always had my back all along.  An' I now jus' realized that."

"What do you plan to do, Graves?  Just tell me, yeah?"  Ratcliff walked towards him slowly, afraid he'd turn and leave.

"Ya know, I ain't got no one," Graves said, his voice surprisingly quiet.  "Parents're dead...all I have is my uncle Barret in Corel, but ya know I don't talk to 'im much."  He rubbed the back of his neck, shrugging as his eyes fell to the ground in a rare instance of humility.  "We had a fallin' out.  Last I talked to 'im was a while back, and he was soundin' crazy over the Mako Reactor Scarlet was buildin' up there.  He gushed about it so much  it was like talkin' to Mr. Shinra 'imself."  His eyes finally trailed back up to Ratcliff, who was wiping at his own eyes angrily with his hands.  "So you, Elici and Cloud...ya'll like brothers to me, ya know?  That's why I gotta do what I gotta do."

"Graves, please," Ratcliff said in soft voice as he stepped to him.  "Just...stay.  Don't go at this alone, yeah?  Come back to Shin-Ra, take a few nights punishment in the brig for going AWOL, and just...come back."

Graves laughed, placing a firm hand on Ratcliff's shoulder.  "Ya sound like a girl that's beggin' her man to stay."

"Well...you did say that you'd always watch over me, yeah."

"Dun even go there, bro."  He pushed Ratcliff's shoulder away, but chuckled.  "I only said that 'cuz ya were cryin' like a little kid, back then."

There was a long silence that passed between them, and neither could look at each other in the eye.  It was painful; it was too real for Ratcliff.

"What should I..." Ratcliff finally raised his eyes.  The pain must have been written on his face again, as Graves took a step back uncomfortably.  "What should I tell Cloud?"

Graves thought for a moment, frowning.  When he finally spoke, his voice was its usual tone.  "Tell 'im to suck it up and take it like a man."

Ratcliff scoffed, looking away.

"...An' tell 'im that you'll be watchin' over 'im...jus' in case he wants to take it like a little kid."

~*~*~


Zack paused, listening intently to the noises around him.  The sound of the insects buzzing around the floating vegetation in the water was prominent, as the rain began to let up.  Zack could feel the setting sun weaving in and out of the clouds that passed overhead, and he could almost feel it warming the water of the marsh.  He had to concentrate past all of that nonsense to be able to hear a slapping of the water some distance away.  It almost sounded like a fish jumping in the water, but judging by the strength of the sound, and the birds that once again became disturbed nearby, he knew it was the serpent.

He ran after the hazy shadow beneath the surface as best as he could for losing most of his sight, and wading through deeper parts of the marshes.  He saw what looked like thrashing beneath the surface as the water bubbled up and caused the vegetation to disperse from around it.  He gripped his sword tight in his hand as he jumped into the air.  He hoped he judged this right.

The tip of his sword entered flesh, driving deep into the skull of the serpent.  Zack landed on top of its head, pushing his weapon even farther into the creature with a vengeful growl.  He heard frantic splashing right beside him, and soon Reno's gasping and sputtering followed.

"What the fuck!"  He coughed as he sat up, then fell silent as he was inches away from the edge of Zack's blade.

"You okay?"  Zack said calmly, turning his head to the source of all the commotion.  He tugged on the hilt of his sword, and wiggled it from the creature's head.  "It's dead, right?"

"What the hell do you mean by that, yo?  There's no way it could've survived that!"  Ya can't see it?"  Reno tugged his pant leg free from the grip of the serpent's mouth, wincing.

"No, I can't," Zack said calmly, again.

Reno peered at him for a while quietly.  Zack's eyes were red and glazed over, and  tears were streaming down his face involuntarily.  And yet he hardly seemed panicked or fazed.  "Ya serious?"

The SOLDIER ignored him.  "Are you hurt?"

"No, it just got my pants, yo.  Chomped down and prolly mostly got a mouthful of all the crap under the water.  I think I'm okay, yo."  Reno lifted his leg as best he could from beneath the water, which was now turning red with blood from the dead creature.  His pant leg was torn from the knee down, but his skin looked relatively unharmed.

"That was a close one.  I'm glad you're okay."  Zack sheathed his sword and clambered off of the serpent's head.  Its body began to rise in the water, and float on the surface.  It made Reno jump.  "There are probably more than just one of these things.  We should get moving  there's probably a nest nearby."

Reno scoffed and started to wring out his hair.  "Don't hafta tell me twice, yo."

Zack nodded and began to walk.  "We should be nearing the cave so-"

"Other way, Slick."

"What?"  Zack stopped, turning his head towards Reno's direction.  He was slightly off.

"The cave is the other way, yo."

"Oh.  Right."  Zack looked a bit embarrassed and turned back around the other way and started to walk, ignoring Reno's teasing laughter.

"Man, ya can't get very far..." Reno trailed off as Zack suddenly staggered in front of him, and then collapsed into the water without a sound.  "...with being poisoned like that, yo."

~*~*~


Reno had dragged Zack, plus that massive sword, through the rest of the marshes.  It was a long haul, but he had to get them both out of the cold water.  The rain came back twice as strong and pelted down on them relentlessly, and the sun began to set, taking its warmth with it behind the planet.  Reno was almost sure he felt the water level rising on them.

And Zack was a heavy man.  Reno was strong, but even carrying him slung lifelessly over his shoulder was more than enough for the Turk.  His cigarettes were water damaged, so he wasn't the least bit happy to be doing this without one clenched between his lips and filling his bloodstream with the nicotine he was craving.  He wasn't a heavy smoker, as being in the Turks required to be smoke-free, but occasionally he liked to puff on one to settle his nerves in certain situations.  He had actually cut back on his smoking habit once he joined the Turks, as it was clear that smelling like an old ashtray and espionage didn't make for a cohesive combination, and he could live with that mostly.  But on his own time, he was known to puff three or four in a day, depending on his stress level.

They finally reached dry land, and he lay Zack along the ground, nearly falling on top of him from exhaustion.  He swore a few times to himself as he sat back, pulling out his soggy pack of cigarettes.  He removed one, frowning at its waterlogged body, and crawled over to a rock that still caught a bit of sunlight on its surface.  He placed it down, hoping that the sun would dry it before it crawled across the mountains behind him.

He was shivering, and perhaps he and Zack should have been the ones in the sunlight.

"Shit, you're more trouble than you're worth, yo," Reno said, patting around his jacket for something.  "Count your lucky stars if I didn't lose this, Slick."

Zack responded with a small groan and squeezing of his eyes.  The swelling in his eyes had gone down the past few hours, as Reno would stop and catch rain water in his hands and gently wash his face with it.  It was a tedious process, but Reno wasn't sure how clean the water in the marsh actually was.

Reno just hoped Zack's eyesight wasn't too damaged.  He knew that venom in the eyes wasn't too damaging, as long as it didn't enter the bloodstream through an open wound on the face or body, and as long as it was washed off quickly.  But the pain was immense, and he only wondered what it was like from such a creature as the giant serpent.  He always thought that story of the giant snake was a hoax, and would have called anyone who swore by its existence nothing but a loon.

He glanced down briefly to the rip in his pants where the thing had snagged him.  He only had one antidote, and luckily only one of them needed it.  "Good news, Slick, I got it, yo."  He pulled out a vile and pulled the small cork out with his teeth and spit it off to the side.  "Let's see them mako blues."  He drizzled some of the antidote into each of his eyes, and wherever his skin was red and inflamed on his face.  "Normally this is supposed to be ingested, but I think it'll work like this, yo."

Zack stirred and lifted his head quickly, almost frightened.  "What the hell are you putting in my eyes?"

"Ungrateful, aren'tcha?  It's a fuckin' antidote, yo."

"How long was I out for?"

Reno pushed his head back down and finished dropping the remaining liquid into his eyes.  "Long enough, yo.  Pain musta been bad to knock ya out like that, yo."

Zack rubbed his eyes, blinking rapidly a few times as he sat up.  He looked around, but his gaze seemed to not fix on anything in particular.  They would dart about, almost as if he were trying to see through a room of complete darkness.

"Still can't see very well, can ya?"

"I'll be fine.  It's not that bad."

"Welp," Reno said, motioning to the cave behind them, "think ya can see in that dark-ass place?"

Zack actually turned his head the correct way and Reno watched his eyes closely as they looked up and down the entrance to the cave.  "I can handle it," Zack said, nodding.

Reno relaxed a bit, glancing over to the cigarette that now had a thin puddle of water beneath it, and which was no longer in the ray of sunlight, as it had moved between the racing clouds above.  So much for trying.

~*~*~


They collected themselves after a while of resting, and after trying to dry and warm themselves as best as they could in the little bit of sun that remained in the area.  Zack seemed to be able to see, at least a little bit.  He maneuvered around the rocks and shrubs in the area with only a little trouble, and he entered the mythril cave with Reno trailing behind.

The tunnel entrance had been dug through by the miners from Kalm, and the rock surfaces around were shaved down smooth, revealing glittering flicks of the mythril woven between.  The natural opening to the cave was on the other side of the mountain, facing Junon, but the people of Kalm had heard of the abundance of the metal in the cave, so they excavated into the mountain and mined their way through.

They finally reached the large void of the cave.  The diminishing sunlight from above trickled in through the cracks in the ceiling of the cave, lighting up the flowstone in hues of golds and browns.  It reflected down onto the calm pools of water surrounding communities of rocks littering the floor.  Zack kneeled down by the water and splashed more of it on his face, and Reno attempted to light up a cigarette, only to fail.

"Where should we camp out for him?"  Reno said quietly, removing his cellphone from his suit.  He cursed and flicked it closed.  "Damn, it's busted, yo.  I was gonna see if there was any more info on his whereabouts."

"Wouldn't get any signal in here anyway," Zack muttered, rubbing at his eyes vigorously.  "We'll continue on through the night.  If he's traveling in here, he won't be doing it in the dark.  It's too dangerous with the monsters lurking, even for SOLDIER."

Reno scoffed, giving him a rather bland look.  "Yeah, 'cuz that would be stupid, even _with_ perfect eyesight.  It's gonna get dark as fuck in here come nightfall, yo.  And ya just said it was dangerous for SOLDIER."

Zack stood, shaking his hands off.  "Perfect time for an ambush."

"Ya mean  perfect time to trip and break your goddamned neck."

"I don't care.  I told you I have a score to settle with this guy.  I won't stop because of a little blurred vision."

"Right, right.  Got it, yo.  Although ya never explained why."

Zack paused for a moment, his mind trailing to the memory of Cloud in the hospital bed, hooked up to all those machines, but still giving him a smile as he entered the room.  Cloud didn't look the least bit concerned for himself, and had looked more interested in just seeing him as he entered.

_All I did was walk in, and yet I made him smile like that.  I can't let him down.  I can't let that smile fade._

Zack nodded to himself, his fists clenching down at his sides.  "That guy tried to take something away from me.  I have to make sure he never does it again."

Reno frowned thoughtfully, his eyes narrowing.  He eventually nodded without a word, and began to walk ahead down the path.

"Reno?"  Zack watched as his blurred form began to disappear.  He could hear him speak then, his voice echoing through the void of the cave.  

"I'll have to tell Cissnei ya ain't interested.  It's gonna break her heart, but she'll get over it eventually."

Zack just shook his head and followed Reno even deeper into the cave.  

~*~*~


There were strange noises coming from the alleyway where Cloud stood guard.  It was behind him through an archway beneath the second level of the town, which held various shops for weapons and materia.  He could hear footsteps of townspeople from above resonating through the concrete, which almost sounded like trucks driving over a bridge, but the noises he heard deep within the alley were different.

The hair on the back of his neck stood, which he thought was rather funny because he never thought that expression to be true.  He dismissed it as nothing but a cliché that people would use to substitute for when they didn't want to admit that something had scared them shitless.

He was fearless growing up as a child in Nibelheim.  Constant ridicule and being treated as an outcast was something he faced everyday.  He would try to follow around the other children of the town, but each one of them pushed him aside.  Even now that he was older, he never did quite figure out why they treated him that way, as he had done nothing to warrant such discrimination.  At first he would get himself into stupid situations, daring that he could jump off of the water tower without getting a single scratch, or enter the creepy mansion on the edge of town without getting scared.  It worked at first, as the other children would cheer him on as he performed these inane stunts, but soon they became uninterested in him.  So he began to rebel against them, hoping that he could possibly establish some sort of rank within their clique.  He would pick fights with the others over the littlest thing, hoping to submit them into acknowledging him.  He would take what he could get, even if it was negative attention.  

It drove his mother crazy at times as he would come home with black-eyes, bruises  even cracked ribs.  His behavior caused his mother to have to apologize on his behalf to the other adults in the town, and it began to wear her patience thin with him.  She was overbearing of course, but even a mother who was lax would become worried over such reckless actions.  She often blamed him for her graying hairs, even though she was still young.

Of course he felt guilty.  Of course he wished he was stronger, and well liked, like his father had been.  At first his father was the town's Jack of all Trades.  He would go around fixing the furnace in the Inn, repairing leaks in the water tower, or even going out of town to deliver and trade goods with other towns on an old motorcycle he received as payment for rewiring the strings in their neighbor's piano.  But as monsters began to appear on the outskirts behind the town from Mt. Nibel, his father had taken up arms and patrolled the town to keep everyone safe.  He was protecting the citizens, he was protecting his wife and young son.  He was protecting his strength.  

Cloud wanted to have that same strength for at least one person in his life.  He thought he could do that by bloodying someone's nose, or yelling profanities until his throat was sore.  But he hadn't realized that it made him more of an outcast.  He thought he knew who he was fighting for, but he had gone about it all wrong.  He had to leave.  There was nothing left in that town for him anymore.  It he were to stay, he would continue to degrade into even more of a coward than he already truly was.   And until he found that one person to be strong for, he couldn't return.

But now he was shifting uncomfortably as the noises changed from shuffling, to scraping, to thumps, to whatever else that could possibly crawl underneath his skin.  He was angry at himself for allowing such fears to wash over him, so he tried to take his attention back to the festival in front of him.  But he found that he continued to glance over his shoulder warily, almost expecting some sort of creature to crawl forth and nab him.

He cursed himself for going to that stupid monster movie with Zack the night before.  The special effects were laughable, the sound effects were eyebrow raising, in a bad way, and the acting was...well, the acting wasn't that awful, now that he thought about it.  But he surmised that the movie was possibly the reason why his imagination was running a bit childish from those sounds behind him.

"Hey!"

Cloud yelped, rather embarrassingly, and whipped to the side to see Kumpf standing there with a few skewers of barbequed meat in his hand.

"Just making sure Ratcliff wasn't groping you in this alleyway."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"Exactly what it sounds like."  He held out the skewers to him, smiling a bit lopsidedly.  He might have been drinking, as when Cloud looked over his shoulder he saw Zabalza not too far off stumbling around.  Birds of a feather flocked together, he figured.

Cloud took the barbeque from him with a frown.  "Aren't you guys supposed to be on guard?  What the hell are you doing out here?"

"Goddamn Strife.  Chill out.  I was just bringing you something to eat.  You haven't taken a break yet."

"That's because, unlike you, I'm doing my job."

"Oh great, another little Haskin."

Zabalza stumbled up.  "N-no, sounds...sounds uh...more like Elici.  Haskin won't even bother sayin' anythin' in...um...his...defense."

"You're really drunk, aren't you?"  Cloud began to pull the meat off with his teeth.  His stomach was crying with joy, as he had barely eaten anything in the morning, and whatever he had, he just threw it up on the ride over to town.

"Damn right I am, buddy."  Zabalza placed an arm around Cloud's shoulder.  He reeked of alcohol, and Cloud turned his nose away.  "We jus'...um...c-checkin' in on ya...yer like our new best friend."

"Comfy, can you get him away, please?"  Cloud relaxed as Kumpf peeled the drunk off of his shoulders, and he resumed eating.

"I better get him back to his post."

"He's better off back at the Inn in a bed.  He's kind of pointless right now."

Kumpf laughed, glancing around for Kunsel in the crowd.  "Yeah, maybe I'll see if Kunsel will let me take him back.  You should at least sit down for a minute, Strife.  You look really tired."

"Thanks for the food, Comfy."  Cloud watched as Kumpf waved to him as he disappeared into the crowd, dragging a very inebriated Zabalza with him.  

Cloud walked over to the large stone steps leading to the upper level, and sat down in the corner, away from the foot traffic.  He was thankful that Kumpf had brought him something to eat, and he smiled to himself that someone was nice enough to think of him like that, even if the man had been drinking.  He learned that some people became overtly friendly while drunk, but as long as it got him free food and smiles, he would be content.  Although, he would probably end up paying Kumpf back, anyhow.  He never liked people spending their money on him, and even with Zack he forced him to accept his gil for the movie the night before.

Zack looked rather irked at that, but just silently took it with a rather forced grin on his face.  Cloud immediately apologized, but then regretted it as Zack leaned over and whispered that he owed him one kiss later, and he wasn't allowed to choose when and where it was going to be.  Zack never did lay claim to that kiss that night, so he was anticipating when it was going to be, and how embarrassing it was going to be, as well.

He then wondered how Zack was doing on his mission.  He knew that Zack was keeping something from him about it, but he just figured that perhaps it wasn't something he was cleared to discuss.  Maybe if he prodded enough, he'd get the man to give in and tell him the true details about what he was really doing.  

Or perhaps if he were to tease him with a little kissing, Zack would give in...

Cloud was thankful for his helmet, as it hid his skin that began to heat up on his face.  He was shocked with himself as of late.  His thoughts and actions were unpredictable with Zack; he couldn't stop himself when he was around the man.  At first it scared him, but when Zack seemed to enjoy his forwardness  no matter how awkward it was  he was beginning to settle into it quite comfortably.  Zack's openness seemed to draw his inhibitions from him like he thought nothing, or no one, ever could.

_He_ initiated pleasuring Zack last night.  Perhaps he was going crazy.  And that nickname  'Angel'  Zack had purred it to him again as he climaxed in Cloud's waiting mouth.  Cloud normally hated nicknames, but there was something about that one that made him smile and long to hear it murmured again.  It seemed more meaningful than 'Spikey', or 'Chocobo'.  It had emotion and passion behind it, even if it was a girly nickname.  But frankly, Zack could call him whatever he wanted during their intimate moments, so long as it meant it was coming from Zack's heart, and as long as it was _only_ during those moments.  If Zack were to call him that outside of the apartment, well, Zack wouldn't have a tongue to speak with afterwards.      

The skewers of meat were quickly cleaned off, and he looked over to the booths, almost longingly.  He wanted more, but he wasn't given the go-ahead from Kunsel to take his break yet.

_Ratcliff hasn't reported back in over the radio yet.  It's been a long time._

Cloud walked down the steps and returned to standing in front of the alleyway.  He briefly thought of checking in on Ratcliff.  It wasn't like him to take this long on a break, let alone not report back in to the SOLDIER in charge.  He glanced around in the crowd in front of him to see if he could see Kunsel at all, and when there was no sight of him, he nodded to himself and began to sneak off to go look for him.  It wouldn't take long.

"And where do you think you're goin'?"

Cloud stopped at the familiar voice, the color in his face draining rapidly.  He swallowed hard, his heart beginning to thump in his chest between the lungs that suddenly failed to breathe.  He could feel something hard and cold being pressed up against his spine, and he  shuddered as the person behind him leaned down and whispered into his ear.

"Well, if it ain't _my little fuck_."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~


...To be continued in Chapter Twenty: Serendipity.

**Author's Note:**

> I have fan-art for this chapter, drawn by Djali from fanfiction.net/Kitsuchi-chan from deviantart.com! It's so hot and cute! I love it! Go here to view, enjoy, fave and comment!:
> 
> http:/kitsuchi-chan.deviantart.com/art/Malady-Enigma-159034649


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